The Daughter of the Night

Cthulhu, greatest of the Great Old Ones, is fed up. Ever since the stars went wrong he's had terrible indigestion and his doctor won't let him go out eating people any more. And, to make it worse, in a fit of inexplicable madness, he created a daughter. He was hoping for someone green, with tentacles. He got a sex bomb, a nymphomaniac with the body and the disposition to become a Love Goddess, if it weren't for two things. First, she has never had an orgasm, despite years of trying. This makes her cross. Second, she is accompanied by a disembodied voice that seems to belong to a lady who would consider Queen Victoria fast. This makes her furious.

So, determined to fulfil her destiny, Cthulhu's daughter sets out on a quest spanning all the worlds and all of the Elder Races, in search of the elusive big O. From fending off overgrown mushrooms who only want her for her brain, to playing 'fetch' with the Hounds of Tindalos, she gets through them all (in more ways than one) only to learn that her destiny is way more important than having an orgasm (okay, it involves having an orgasm, but it's much more, okay?) and may just result in the stars being right, so Cthulhu and his friends can declare open season on humanity once more.

There have been homages to H P Lovecraft's Cthulhu Mythos before now. There have even been comic ones. But we can be certain that there has never before been one which combines Carry On style farce with Neoplatonism.