When Love Is a Lie · Narcissistic Partners & the (Pathological) Relationship Agenda

When our committed relationship involves a narcissistic partner or someone with a narcissistic personality disorder, it is inevitable that the experience, at some point, will take a very dark turn. Pathological liars, chronic cheaters, and masters at passive-aggressive punishments (i.e. the silent treatment), narcissists follow a specific relationship agenda where every deceptive move is deliberately calculated to confuse and abuse the people who love them. And, as crazy as it appears, those who love the narcissist will stick it out, thinking they can fix this person or love them out of their bad behavior. We imagine the narcissist as mentally ill and, therefore, repairable. We bargain with logic, ignore our intuition, and become master truth spinners. And the truth, of course, is that narcissists, psychopaths, and sociopaths can never be fixed - not with love, therapy, and not with any magic pill. I know and understand...because I stumbled down this very path for twelve long years.

When Love Is a Lie is a personal, non-clinical narrative that exposes the typical manipulative behavioral patterns of narcissistic partners. Based on my own 12-year experience, this book deliberately offers no excuses for narcissism (medical or otherwise) nor does it encourage readers to cut a narcissistic partner any slack whatsoever. This book is about the reality of the situation, about why we become codependent to the drama, and, most importantly, what we can do about all of it to save our own lives.