The Hunger Pains

WINNING MEANS WEALTH, FAME, AND A LIFE OF THERAPY LOSING MEANS DEATH, BUT ALSO FAME! THIS IS THE HUNGER PAINS W hen Kantkiss Neverclean replaces her sister as a contestant in The Hunger Games, the second highest rated reality TV show in Peaceland, right after Extreme Home Makeover, she has no idea what to expect. Having lived her entire life in the telemarketing district's worst neighborhood, the Crack, she feels unprepared to fight to the death while simultaneously winking and looking adorable for the cameras. But when her survival rests on choosing between the dreamy hunk from home, Carol Handsomestein, or the doughy klutz, Pita Malarkey, Kantkiss finds that the toughest conflicts may not be found on the battlefield but in her own heart, which is unfortunately on a battlefield. Filled to the brim with suspense, romance, gratuitous violence, apathetic adults, and sexually suggestive gifts, The Hunger Pains is the hilarious tale of one girl's battle for survival and hope for love.