Uncle Gary's Campfire Stories · Bayou Zombie Werewolves

Deep in the Louisiana bayou a Nazi war criminal has been working for the government to create the perfect biological weapon...zombies. They spread their infection easily, they cause massive destruction, and they can turn the population against itself. Aribert started his project while working for the Nazis experimenting on prisoners within the camps, but when Germany fell the Americans gave him a chance to avoid prison. At least he thought he was avoiding prison, but when he arrived in the secret compound he quickly realized he was just trading one cage for another. Still, until something better came along, he could continue his project for them unfettered by medical ethics. Now his project has reached its pinnacle. Using the parasite he's developed to create to create zombies, Aribert infects Danior, the last known living werewolf.

Everything was going well until the day of the Kennedy assassination. Then Aribert, seeing an opportunity to escape, put the entire compound on lockdown and released all of his creations inside. For decades Danior has wandered the compound in his own personal hell. No food, water, or company as one by one the zombies trapped with him were reduced to dried out husks. Eventually even Danior succumbed to lack of food and water until he could only rise during the full moons. Each time the moon called him he would rise and then have to suffer until he collapsed again the next day. Each full moon pulled Danior further into madness until the only clear thought in his head near the end was how he would get his revenge on the government that trapped him here to rot.

He thought that day would never come. Eventually the government even forgot about the abandoned underground science compound, and the land was sold to two brothers. Through an unfortunate turn of events, the two brothers stumble upon the underground science compound. Now the citizens of Livingston Parish are being infected, and turning into zombies themselves. As if that wasn't enough trouble, Danior has decades of pent up rage, and is spreading his own infection of zombie werewolves on the people.

Now Colton Mudd, a fat redheaded midget sheriff, his nine-fingered best friend Bobby "Coonass" Mullins, Colton's beautiful wife Sarah, and Bobby's daughter B.J. are the only people standing in the way of the zombie werewolf apocalypse. So basically we're all screwed, and it's not going to be pretty. Follow them through one of the most disturbing adventure you'll ever read. If you liked World War Z but thought it needed a comedic punch, then this is the book for you. If you love the Walking Dead but think you'd like to laugh more then this is your book. If you loved Twilight and just couldn't stand the thought of someone making fun of it, then run away. Run far away. Run as fast as you can. This is not your book.

This book is a horror comedy that pokes fun at just about everything. If South Park and Night of the Living Dead had a baby, and it's parents dropped the baby on his head, and then let that baby get raised by wolves...this would be that baby. It parodies everything from Twilight, to Stephen King's It while telling a really great story in the process. While reading this you'll either spend your time nervously making sure the light is still on so the shadows in your room don't get you, or laughing so hard that you just don't care if the shadows on your wall are getting suspiciously larger.

Contained in this books are midgets, cripples, idiot klansmen, beautiful women, gross zombies, a zombie werewolf armadillo that for some unknown reason fancies himself as Samuel L. Jackson, strippers, pornstars, sexy romps, disgusting scenes, funny moments, general creepiness, perverts, a drug dealer, chicken molestation, transsexuals, fat people, a Nazi war criminal, sex, violence, an inappropriate love of guns, a clown, old people, babies, gory b-movie goodness, death, male strippers, Mardis Gras, more zombies, and a J.F.K. conspiracy theory.