Unwrap Your Candy

Thom's life has a soundtrack. Unseen glass phalluses--thousands of them--whirring softly along conveyer belts on the other side of the factory wall. The snap and splash of eggs against plaster. The scratch-fizz-tang of cigarette lighters being flipped again and again. A thousand throats swallowing a thousand swigs of beer; a thousand sets of lungs choking on a thousand French inhales. Hard fists sinking into soft flesh; soft chunks dropping onto hard sidewalks. Plop-flush-drain repeat. And moonsong, high above, forever calling and calling, "Stud, rub 'er with the Stud Rubber." If only it were so simple. Imagine Woody Allen made a movie about Dilbert and James Joyce wrote the screenplay. That's what you should expect from Jesse Miller's Unwrap Your Candy.