A Game of Groans · A Sonnet of Slush and Soot

A PARODY OF THE BELOVED FANTASY DOORSTOP… ER, SAGA

In the land of the Eight (or was it Six?) Kingdoms—where the seasons last as

long as a series of bestselling Tolkien-esque novels—trouble is brewing. The

mud is growing muddier, the onions are rotting, the Wall to the North (or is

it the South?) is melting, and Lord Barker of Summerseve is getting worried.

His wife is addicted to Godsweede, his King is too fat to fit into his armor,

and the foreshadowing is out of control. All in all, not the position you want

to be in when Summer is coming.

From this world of outdoor fornication with horse-people (and indoor

fornication with blood relatives) comes an epic story of novella proportions.

Amid plots and counterplots, power-hungry warriors and overworked ravens, poor

reception and no wireless, the future of the Barkers, their BFFs, and their

enemies dangles in the balance, as each strives to survive long enough to

appear in at least two of the sequels.

"His teeth might be wooden, but his prose is not."

\---J.R.R. Madison

George R. R. Washington cannot tell a lie: _A Game of Groans_ was not

prepared, authorized, licensed, approved, or endorsed by any person or entity

involved in creating or producing any of the Song of Ice and Fire books or the

_Games of Throne_ television program. Please direct any inquiries to our legal

counsel, Clarence R. R. Darrow.