CHAPTER 3
SELF-LOVE SPELLS
As RuPaul says, “If you can’t love yourself, how the hell you gonna love someone else?”
It’s an adage that will always be true: If you can’t look in the mirror and shower yourself with affection when it counts, how can you invite that energy in from the outside? By working to love yourself unconditionally, you can create a blueprint for how you’ll receive love in return.
REFLECTION SPELL
Although this spell is simple to perform, it is highly powerful. Use it as often as you need until you feel like the badass that you are. Within this practice, you will be forcing an affirmation deep into your subconscious that will allow you to glow from the inside out.
YOU WILL NEED
A mirror • Your honesty
TIMING
This spell is best performed under New Moon energy. Any astrological placement fits well with this type of affirmation spell, but fiery Aries energy will light it up.
METHOD
• Cast your circle around you and your mirror. Start to ground yourself. Notice how heavily your feet feel rooted into the ground, and work your way up your body, noticing any areas of tightness. When you feel secure, look directly into the mirror to begin the spell.
• Focus deeply on your eyes, moving yourself into a sort of trance. The strong connection of your gaze will blur the background and your own facial features. Make intense eye contact with your pupils until you feel as though they are the only thing in the world.
• As you fixate into the depths of your pupils, repeat, “I am powerful, desirable, good, and whole. I am worthy of love that nurtures and supports me. I am all that I need, and what I want flows effortlessly to me.” Repeat this three times, then clap your hands to shake yourself out of the trance. Close your circle and carry this energy throughout your day.
ROSE QUARTZ MEDITATION
Think of meditation as a mental vacation where you can escape from a barrage of harmful thoughts that you have created for yourself. Using this practice will help overcome these thoughts and make you love yourself for who you are. This spell will take some practice if meditation is new to you, but the more you perform it, the better you will feel.
YOU WILL NEED
A piece of rose quartz, any size • A quiet place to sit
TIMING
This spell is best performed every morning throughout the course of a Full Moon cycle. This way, you’ll be learning to love yourself with different influences of various astrological placements.
METHOD
• Ground yourself by inhaling for three counts, holding your breath for three counts, exhaling for three counts, and holding your breath out for three counts. Continue this pattern until you feel calm. Sink deeply into the ground.
• Take your rose quartz in your dominant hand and hold it at your heart. Concentrate on the stone’s vibrations, held near your energy center.
• As you feel grounded and still, envision the rose quartz connecting with your heart by linking a bright pink light with your chest. Envision this pink light growing down through your stomach, over your legs, and down through your feet. Now envision this light growing up your neck and covering your head until its circumference surrounds your entire body and invigorates you like a huge, energetic hug.
• Sit here until you feel comfortable, then close your circle and carry yourself with this pink light at your heart’s center throughout the day.
PINK CANDLE CARVING
This spell calls for fire and creativity. Dedicate a solid amount of time to carrying it out. Using a flame and intentional invention, you create an imprint in the Universe for the person you want to be, exactly as you see it. It’s best to only perform this manifesting spell once per moon cycle because, while candle magick works quickly, it’s powerful and should not be repeated too often, especially when burning seven-day candles.
YOU WILL NEED
A pink candle, any size, but preferably a pillar candle • A wooden pick • Olive oil • Pink glitter (optional)
TIMING
This spell is best performed under a Full Moon. The best astrological moons to work with are the any of the Fire signs (Aries, Leo, or Sagittarius). I personally prefer Leo.
METHOD
• Get centered and begin to envision your best self. Sit with this ideal person until you feel the vibrations of him or her coursing through you. Then, with this enlightened vision of yourself held in your mind’s eye, use your wooden stick to carve your name into the pink candle.
• Olive oil is ruled by the sun and is great for healing. Coat your hands in it, then, beginning at each end of your candle, cover the entire shaft. This is called dressing your candle.
• Sprinkle the pink glitter where you carved your name. This reflects your vision of yourself into the energy of the flame.
• Light your candle and stare into the flame, burning your vision of your best self into the fire.
• Close your circle, and let your candle burn all the way down to complete the manifestation. If you must put out the candle, don’t blow it out. Snuff it out so it retains the intention.
DIVINATION SPREAD
A deck of tarot cards be helpful in self-discovery. Personally, it has helped me understand the spectrum of characteristics that people and environments can inhabit, and it has allowed me to see that lessons can be labeled outside of the paradigm of “bad” and “good.”
The tarot asks for gratitude, which is very enlightening.
YOU WILL NEED
Tarot or oracle cards
TIMING
This spell is best performed under a Waning Moon so you can let go of what doesn’t serve you. All Water signs nurture this kind of emotional healing, but a moon in Scorpio is optimal.
METHOD
• Ground yourself by becoming aware of your breath and feeling where your body is tense.
• Shuffle the cards until you feel confident, then pull three cards in a way that makes sense to you. Some readers pick from the top, some the middle, and some the bottom. The cards will tell you how to pull.
• Read your cards based on the guide that comes with your deck and explains their meanings, and reflect on how they relate to you. The placement of the cards will tell you how they relate to your life in that very moment.
• Close your circle and continue to think about the messages of this spread throughout your day.
• Reading tarot can be challenging, so be sure to use your intuition to extract the cards’ significance. If the answers aren’t obvious, try journaling about your experience and see how the messages of the cards show up in your life.
• If you aren’t familiar with this type of divination, you may want to employ a professional to read your cards for you.
BATH POTION
Bath magick is very spiritous because you are immersing yourself in water, an element that carries energy and makes things happen. This spell requires a bathtub, but if you only have a shower, you can create this potion in a bowl and pour it over you while cleansing. Be sure to coat your entire body with the potion.
YOU WILL NEED
Lemons • Rose petals • Rose quartz • Lavender essential oil
TIMING
This spell is best performed in the evening under New Moon energy. The best astrological signs to work with are Taurus and Libra because both signs are ruled by Venus, the goddess of love.
METHOD
• Draw a bath of warm water. Slice the lemons into fours, and place the slices in the water. Lemons are ruled by the sun and are linked to the solar plexus, your belly chakra. Engaging the two will increase your confidence.
• Sprinkle rose petals into the bath. This will increase the energy for luxury, beauty, and Venusian properties, such as money and attraction.
• Place your rose quartz in the bath so it charges the water with the self-love energy it carries.
• Finally, place a few drops of lavender essential oil in the bath to invite calmness and relaxation.
• Get into the bath and ground yourself by scanning your body, noticing any areas of tightness. Breathe deeply.
• Envision a bright yellow light emerging from your stomach and a bright green light growing from your heart. Connect the yellow light to your solar plexus chakra and the green light to your heart chakra. This will help you love with more confidence.
• Place the rose petals on your body and feel their beauty sinking deep into your skin. As you bathe in this energy, feel yourself connecting to your body and the light that it holds.
• When you are ready, end the bath by releasing the water down the drain. As it funnels away, envision all your self-doubt rushing away with it.
• Close your circle and carry this energy with you to bed.
SHADOW WORK
This may sound counterintuitive, but shadow work is actually the practice of casting light on the traits that you like least about yourself so you can nurture them with kindness and understanding. When we thrust our bad habits into the shadows, we selectively become blind to them, which stops us from receiving our desires. Although shadow work is challenging, the payoff is very rewarding. For all spells, but this one in particular, be sure to ground yourself.
YOU WILL NEED
A pen • Paper • Your honesty
TIMING
This spell is best performed under Waning Moon energy. Scorpio energy is great for exploring the shadows, but Pisces energy opens your intuitive emotions. Earth-sign energy (Taurus, Virgo, and Capricorn) can help first-time shadow workers get grounded before they begin their emotional exploration.
METHOD
• Stand and root your feet into the ground. Work your way up your body, addressing any tightness that is present. When you feel secure, journal on the following prompts:
♦ When do I feel loved?
♦ When do I feel rejected?
♦ What do I know about receiving affection? Is it the same as love and respect?
• How do I speak to myself when I’m disappointed or anxious? Does my speech align with what love means to me?
• Meditate on your answers and try not to judge yourself.
• Close your circle and carry this newfound awareness into your day-to-day relationships.
GODDESS INVOCATION
Use the list of goddesses (pages 15–16) for this spell or pick another goddess that resonates with you by focusing on the divine energy that you’d like to portray. For example, if you’re interested in a Venus invocation, see page 118.
YOU WILL NEED
Sexy lingerie • A mirror
TIMING
This spell is best performed under a New Moon. Fire signs (Aries, Leo, Sagittarius) and Venusian signs like Libra or Taurus work well.
METHOD
• Get naked (if you dare!) and, as directed on page 118, cleanse your aura and the lingerie with smoke.
• Stand tall, like a large, flowing tree, and root your feet into the ground. Work your way up your body, addressing any tightness that is present. Breathe in deeply and vigorously exhale from the belly.
• As you put on your lingerie, envision your goddess of choice pouring into you from the top of your head, filling your body with sexy, sensual energy.
• Look at yourself in the mirror in your lingerie and see yourself as a goddess. Breathe in power, beauty, and grace, and breathe out self-doubt, harmful thoughts, and any trace of nervousness. Breathe deeply for as long as you need.
• Close your circle and wear your lingerie under your clothes for the day, envisioning yourself walking around as a goddess on Earth.
LIPSTICK CHARM
This is a fun kind of glamour magick to perform daily. Your lipstick or lip gloss is front and center on your face, and it commands attention and respect. Throughout your day, notice how you receive energy and modify your visualizations accordingly for the maximum effect.
YOU WILL NEED
Your favorite pink lipstick • Mirror
TIMING
This spell is best performed under New Moon energy. Venusian signs like Libra and Taurus work well, and other Air signs like Aquarius and Gemini spark communication. Leo’s flirtatious energy is also great for this charm.
METHOD
• Standing in front of your mirror, ground yourself by breathing in and out deeply. Focus on your lipstick and envision yourself as a flirty, sensual, successful goddess.
• As you swipe the lipstick onto your lips, hold that vision in your mind’s eye.
• Repeat the phrase, “I am as desirable as I believe I am,” three times.
• Blow yourself a kiss in the mirror to complete the charm.
• Close your circle and carry yourself with this energy throughout your day.
SELF-LOVE TAPPING RITUAL
This healing ritual can be used in many different scenarios, such as quitting a bad habit, focusing on deeper breaths, or manifesting prosperity. For this practice, we will focus on self-love, but you are encouraged to change the affirmation based on where you want to strengthen your relationships.
YOU WILL NEED
Yourself!
TIMING
This spell is best performed daily, starting on a New Moon. Any Earth placements (Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn) will help ground you while Air placements (Gemini, Libra, Aquarius) will you communicate.
METHOD
• Ground yourself while sitting. Notice how heavily your body feels rooted into the ground, then scan yourself from head to toe to identify any areas of tightness.
• When you feel settled, tap along your pinky finger with the opposite hand, as listed in the diagram below.
• As you tap the karate-chop point, repeat this phrase three times: “Even though I don’t always feel my most confident, beautiful, or powerful, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.” Then move on to the pattern in the diagram.
• Once you have tapped into the karate-chop source, start moving around the points that are listed in the diagram while repeating that affirmation. Continue doing rounds of this tapping (from karate-chop to underarm) until you feel a shift.
• Close your circle and carry yourself with this energy throughout your day.
TAPPING POINTS
1. Karate chop (outside hand)
2. Top of head
3. Inner eyebrow
4. Under eye
5. Under nose
6. Chin
7. Breast bone
8. Under arm
