CHAPTER 12
THE TERRIBLE VENGEANCE OF INVISIBLE DEATH
CLAUDIA
Once Akash set me up with invisibility and taught me some basic killing skills, I deleted StealthViper999—who, I had to admit, was neither stealthy nor viper-like—and created a new avatar, who I called InvisibleDeath.
For obvious reasons.
At this point, it was Friday afternoon, and most weekends, Reese spends every waking minute (when he’s not at a soccer game) on MetaWorld. So I was all amped up to get my revenge ASAP.
But that particular Friday, Reese got a 57 on his math test. Even by my brother’s incredibly low standards, it was such a bad grade that Ms. Santiago made him take the test home to get it signed by a parent.
REESE
I don’t know what the big deal was. A 57’s still “Very Good.”
CLAUDIA
I should explain about the Culvert Prep grading system. A few years ago, a bunch of parents complained that letter grades were hurting their kids’ self-esteem. So now, instead of A, B, C, D, and F, our grading scale is “Amazing,” “Spectacular,” “Excellent,” “Very Good,” and “Okay.”
Which is totally stupid. Because nothing changed except the names, so if you get a “Very Good” on your report card, your parents have to come in for a special conference with your teacher. And if you get more than one “Okay,” they basically tell you to start looking for another school.
Also, I know which parents did the complaining—and I don’t want to be catty or name names, but I can tell you the one thing their kids ABSOLUTELY DO NOT NEED is more self-esteem.
Anyway, when Reese brought home his 57 that Friday, Mom and Dad reacted in their usual way, which was to take away all his electronics for a week. Ordinarily, I would have applauded their decision. But in this case, it was a real problem. Not only did it mean I’d have to wait an entire week to get my revenge, but when Reese loses his electronics, he mopes around the house all day and won’t stop begging me to play Jenga with him.
Which is particularly annoying, because I am terrible at Jenga.
By Sunday afternoon, I was losing my mind. So I decided to take matters into my own hands. Mom had just left for the airport and yet another business trip, so I went to work on Dad.
Not to brag or anything, but I can be very persuasive. Within five minutes, he was texting Mom:
MOM AND DAD (text messages)
(DAD) Claudia says we were too hard on
Reese re math test. Bunch of kids
complained it was unfair and got
worse grades than usual
(MOM) Did Reese pay her to say that?
Don’t think so. He is in bedroom
playing Jenga by himself. Should I
give him electronics back?
Not sure. Feel like we should let him
have laptop at least
You just don’t want to play Jenga
Claudia very impassioned about this.
Actually kind of touching to see her
stick up for brother
Ed. Note: felt a little guilty about this
Nice to see she has finally forgiven
him… OK. Give him laptop. But first go
over math test answers with him
CLAUDIA
Unfortunately, the “go over math test answers” situation turned into a complete nightmare for both Reese and Dad (who is not great at being patient with Reese about his homework), so Reese didn’t get his laptop back until it was too late for him to go on MetaWorld that night.
And after Dad told him at dinner that I was the one who’d gotten his punishment reduced, Reese was so slobberingly Ed. Note: not a word (but can’t find real one that fits) thankful that I thought he might actually try to hug me. All through Monday, he kept being so nice to me that—even though the “Vest Song” nightmare was STILL giving me a stomachache every time I thought about it—I actually started to wonder how much I still wanted revenge.
But then in gym class that afternoon, I played volleyball against a team with Xander on it. Right when I was about to serve (which was traumatic enough, because I am even worse at volleyball than I am at Jenga), Xander started singing, “THAT CUTE LEATHER VEST…”
A bunch of kids laughed, and I turned bright red and totally whiffed the serve. That pretty much took care of my second thoughts. From then on, my one regret was that I’d only get to stab Xander in MetaWorld and not in real life.
It was almost nine o’clock that night before Reese finally finished his homework and logged on to MetaWorld. At that point, my InvisibleDeath avatar had been invisibly hanging out in Planet Amigo’s main square for half an hour, waiting for Reese and Xander to show up and join a deathmatch.
When they finally did, I got excited and scared at the same time—because even though I’d had plenty of practice with Akash, I was still worried I might mess something up.
But it turned out to be easy. I followed them right into a deathmatch, and after it started, all I had to do was run over and stab them a bunch of times.
They both went nuts. It was so hilarious that I saved the screenshots:
METAWORLD CHAT LOG
[Editor’s note: Reese is “Skronkmonster,” and Xander is “XIzKillinIt.”]
CLAUDIA
I have to admit my first kill was extremely satisfying. Not only were Reese and Xander freaking out in the chat, but I could hear Reese next door in his bedroom, yelling “WHAAAT?” and “NO WAY!” at his laptop.
The taste of blood made me thirsty for more, so when Reese and Xander logged out to respawn, I went back to Amigo Central and waited for them to reappear and sign up for another deathmatch. When they did, I followed them again:
METAWORLD CHAT LOG
CLAUDIA
This went on for a while:
METAWORLD CHAT LOGS
CLAUDIA
Eventually, they gave up:
METAWORLD CHAT LOGS
CLAUDIA
As far as The War went, this was a major victory. Basically, I had driven my enemies from the battlefield in despair. So you’d think I would’ve been thrilled.
And at the beginning, I definitely was. But every time I killed them, it got a little less fun. It was kind of like eating ten bowls of ice cream. After a while, it still tastes good, but you’re like, “Ugh. Why am I still eating?”
Which was frustrating. All I wanted was some satisfying revenge for the “Vest Song” nightmare. But after I logged off, I didn’t feel satisfied. I just felt sort of blech. Ed. Note: not technically a word (but it should be)
So I decided to go next door and check on Reese in person, because I thought maybe if he seemed like he was in horrible anguish, I’d be able to enjoy the moment a little more.
And that’s when the whole InvisibleDeath thing started to get weird.