Rites of Leveling Up
All people go through transitions where they need to show up in their own lives more fully, take on more, or become a bigger, more powerful version of themselves. We refer to these rites of passage as “leveling up.” Think of it like a video game: at some point you’ve collected all the mushrooms, you’ve completed all the tasks, and you’ve beaten the pit boss. Now you get to level up! You don’t just go from level one to level two because you want to. You have to go through all the trials and tribulations, but once you do, you have more power, more access, and a greater ability to complete the tasks in front of you. If you make it to level ten and then go back and play level one, it’s ridiculously easy. This is much like life.
It’s important to state that “leveling up” isn’t just about achievement. We’re not talking about growing your income from one number to another or harnessing the power of the universe so you can buy a helicopter. Leveling up really refers to the notion of stepping into a more diverse, capable, dexterous version of yourself.
What These Rites Have in Common
At first glance, getting a driver’s license is not at all like getting married. Moving into a new home or graduating might not seem like they have a lot in common. When you strip away the labels, though, what you’re left with does have a unifying theme, and that’s the notion of becoming something more.
The rites of passage that are occurring here are the rites of growth and becoming. Getting a driver’s license can equate to responsibility and freedom. Graduating speaks to a level of mastery that had not previously been attained, and with that mastery come new layers of opportunities and respect. When you get married, you are seen as someone who has made an important long-term commitment. When we look at the stages of rites of passage, we can see them clearly here.
The Catalyst. The catalyst is in the drive, need, or expectation one sets to become something more. The preparation for this takes many forms, and in this case, it’s the intention setting and imagining yourself as accomplished, completed, and on the other side of the rite.
The Ordeal. If you’ve ever planned a wedding, you know all about the ordeal. But seriously, the ordeal shows up not only in the studying and preparing and test taking, but also in overcoming the hurdles of self-doubt, creating a space to be teachable, being vulnerable, and opening to a new and bigger version of yourself.
Alone and Yet in Community. It’s possible you’ll be viewed as the expert, the one who became more, and still feel like a novice or even a fraud. With every iteration of yourself, with every task you complete, with any accolade you earn, there’s a tendency to disbelieve your own worth and value. You might find yourself saying, “Well, I graduated 999th in a class of one thousand,” but that doesn’t take away from the fact that you still accomplished what you set out to. You might compare your successes to someone else’s, and that’s a fool’s game. You did do that thing. You passed the test. You moved into the home. You planned the wedding. You are creating the best version of you right now.
The Advisor. Becoming the advisor, although not a role folks will step into immediately, is present too. You may one day teach someone else to drive or witness the graduation of a young person you love. You may help someone else plan their wedding or become an officiant or parent of the bride. You may help someone else move or buy a home. You may be the trainer welcoming new employees and showing them the ropes. You are qualified, because of your experience, to guide others through the hurdles they might face, and if all goes well, make their rite of passage a little smoother. By the way, smoother doesn’t mean easier or less arduous, but you might be able to let them know about the trials and tribulations that are likely coming their way.
Graduation
Going through a graduation ceremony is a rite of passage most people are familiar with. It is quite a Pagan ritual if you think about it. Folks wear robes and hats. There are speeches given by those who have gone through the process before. Words are said about the past and how to best prepare for the future. At some point during the ritual, there is a symbolic step honoring the rite; in this case, by moving the tassel from one side of the hat to the other or by getting a rolled-up piece of paper and a handshake. Friends and family give gifts, and often there are parties and celebrations afterward to honor the transformation.
Graduation happens repeatedly. Preschools often do graduation ceremonies for the kids moving up into elementary school. There are ceremonies for moving from primary to middle school and again moving from middle school to high school. People experience high school graduations and college graduations. And potentially it goes on from there: technical training, completing bootcamp, master’s degrees, grad school, doctorates, and so on. Each time, the leveling up becomes a bigger and more profound experience.
Most people can already see these steps as rites of passage. Many people have gone through at least a couple of them, if not more. This step of leveling up doesn’t require explanation or Witching up. The rituals and ceremonies are already written. They already take place. We don’t need to write rituals for this one because society makes it happen for us, but here’s our ritual anyway.
This ritual should be done after the formal graduation ceremony is complete. It can take place right before a party or celebration, but it could also include only the family members and loved ones who supported the graduate. This ritual can be performed each time your loved one completes another graduation milestone.
Supplies: None are needed, but a good meal or cake for after the ritual would be appropriate.
Set Up: This ritual takes place right outside the front door of the family dwelling. Make arrangements to deal with weather ahead of time.
Ritual: As the new graduate approaches the home, the family and loved ones should gather outside the door before entering the house, serving as a block between the graduate and the door. The loved ones should have smiles on their faces and, if they choose, should carry gifts or cards with money in them.
Each loved one speaks to the graduate, sharing a story or memory of how the graduate worked hard, succeeded, or overcame a difficulty during their school career. With each story, the loved one offers their gift or card to the graduate.
When everyone has shared their stories, a designated person should say the following, “We are all so proud of your accomplishment. We are all so excited to see what the future holds for you. We now follow you over the threshold as you step forward into the rest of your life. Know that as we follow you across the threshold, we always have your back.”
The group should part, making a space for the graduate to step over the threshold. Each loved one steps through the doorway following the graduate. A party commences!
Getting a Driver’s License
People don’t have many formal coming of age rituals in the secular world. There are religious rites, of course. Often, the first official marker that is given to young people—removed from biology—is learning to drive. Getting a driver’s license is a sign of freedom and independence.
A driver’s license is a big deal, but most don’t really look at it that way. People take it for granted. Driving a car is like having control of a deadly weapon. Cars are dangerous; showing a young person how to safely handle one, and then deeming them ready to hold that responsibility on their own, is quite a massive act of trust.
This rite of passage is also totally optional. It is a choice to get a driver’s license, and it is not one everyone will make. Our son didn’t want to drive. He waited until he was eighteen before he got his license. Our eldest daughter couldn’t wait to drive. She booked her own driving lessons and scheduled her own DMV appointments as soon as she was able. She was waiting for no one. And our younger daughter was somewhere in the middle. She wanted to drive, but she needed a lot more encouragement and prodding to complete all the steps of the ordeal. Each of their rites of passage to achieve this goal looked different.
Our family also lives in an area where you really do need a driver’s license. Public transport is okay, but it’s not great. If you want to get around, have a job, or even get to school, a car is a necessary evil. But there are plenty of areas—most of them in major cities—where you don’t need to drive, and getting a license is a rite of passage many will never undertake.
Having a driver’s license doesn’t mean you will drive. In order to drive you have to have access to a vehicle, which is not something everyone will have. And purchasing a car is another rite of passage. Learning to drive is being in the liminal space; you drive a car while you’re learning, and yet, you are not considered officially a driver. You have some freedom, but you do not have total freedom.
This rite is repeated when you are a parent with a child going through it. As an adult you are even more aware of the danger and serious responsibility that driving holds. This transition may shift a relationship between parent and child; it is often around driving age when kids really pull away from their parents.
The ritual included in this section is a very simple ritual. Not every rite of passage requires a long and drawn out ceremony. Our youngest has never been interested in having long, drawn out rituals, so doing that with her would have been inappropriate for her path. But it was important to do something to honor the change in her life. The following rituals can be expanded upon if that is something appropriate for your life.
Phoenix, Won’t You Drive My Car?
At the age of sixteen I was already a year into practicing Witchcraft. When I took my driver’s test, I wore all my magickal jewelry. I wanted to have as much luck on my side as possible. Sadly, I didn’t pass my test. When the portion of the test came where I needed to back up, I ended up driving onto a driveway—just a little bit, but enough to automatically fail the test.
Of course, I had practiced backing up … but not enough, clearly. I had to wait two weeks before I could take the test again. When I got home, I did a spell to pass the test, and I started practicing backing up with my stepdad every time we practiced driving.
When my second test date came, I only wore my most important piece of jewelry. I had done my spell for success, and more importantly, I had practiced the skill I was weakest at.
I passed my second test with a perfect score. I don’t remember my parents doing anything to acknowledge the event. But I did. I asked if I could take the car out on my own as a sign I was now a licensed driver. I picked up my two best friends and we went out to a Chinese restaurant for a celebratory dinner. For me, it was a clear celebration; I was now one step closer to being an adult.
Many years later, when my youngest daughter took her driver’s test, I stood outside the DMV calling on her guides and allies to help her do her best. I held vigil and made a constant prayer that she would follow the rules of the road and be diligent in her driving. She passed!
She drove us home, and on the way we stopped at our favorite local coffee shop and toasted her success with decadently sweet drinks. She’s not really into big flashy Pagan rituals, so she didn’t want me to make a big deal about it. So, a toast with whipped cream and coffee was how we celebrated. Our coffee shop experience is the inspiration for the following ritual.
This ritual should be done immediately after the new driver has passed their driving test. Have the new driver drive the car leaving the testing facility. I highly recommend going out for a treat, lunch, coffee; something that can serve as a “cakes and ale” celebration. On the way, express your pride in their accomplishment. Share how you watched them work hard to achieve this goal. Honor and celebrate them for the rite of passage that they completed.
This ritual should be performed as soon as a new car is brought home. By new car, we mean a new-to-you car. A used car, a lease, a loan, a full-out purchase: none of the specifics matter here. What matters is creating a safe magickal container for the vehicle that will be a major mode of transportation.
Supplies: Bowl of salt water, dragon’s blood incense, your athame, and a protection amulet you will leave in your car.
Set Up: Have all the ritual items handy near the car. Have all of the doors open.
Ritual: Light the incense and carefully use it to sain your vehicle. Use the smoke as a cleanser to clear the air. Be cautious to not let any burning pieces fall on the carpet or upholstery.
Set down the incense and pick up the bowl of salt water. Sprinkle the perimeter of the car with the salt water, cleansing the energy around the car. Then repeat this process inside of the vehicle.
Set down the bowl of salt water and pick up your athame. Step to the rear of your car. From the rear of the car, project your power through the athame to the middle of the front bumper and begin drawing an invoking pentacle over the entire vehicle. Imagine the top point of your pentacle starting in the middle of the front bumper. The pentacle encompasses your whole vehicle. In most cases, the pentacle you’re drawing is imaginal, but you could totally draw an actual pentacle using water if your car is small enough or if you have a stepladder.
Call upon any guides, allies, or deities you work with for protection. Hecate or Hermes are good for protection and safety while traveling.
Affix the amulet to your car. Place any other magickal items in your car that will remain there.
The rite is done. However, this ritual can be repeated any time you feel it needs a bolster of energy. As an example, every time our family takes a long car journey, we repeat this ritual.
Chant for Success in Driving Tests
Use this chant when holding vigil for someone taking their driving exam. You can “recycle” this for any other testing too. The “your” in this chant is directed at the person taking the test. If you’d prefer, switch out the word “your” and replace it with the name and pronoun of the person you are chanting for.
I call upon your wisdom, I call upon your skill
I ask for your allies’ guidance to press upon your will
May you pass with flying colors, may you shine bold and bright
May you achieve your goal today, success is in your sight.
Vehicle Protections
You are likely to spend a lot of time in your car. And, as we’ve mentioned, a car is a dangerous tool. Setting up some simple magickal protections can help you stay safe on the road, and it can help your car stay safe from being broken into or having repair issues.
Of course, none of these suggestions should replace being a safe driver, locking your doors, having proper insurance, and keeping up the required maintenance for your vehicle. Solid, mundane steps go hand in hand with solid magickal steps.
• Hang a mirror ball or evil eye amulet from your rearview mirror. This helps to keep negative energy off your car and yourself while driving.
• Regularly smoke cleanse or sain your vehicle. In the same way you might burn herbs, resins, or incense to cleanse your home, this can be repeated for your vehicle. Just don’t do this while driving!
• Use a lucky amulet as a key chain. Use a horseshoe, an evil eye amulet, a pentacle, or any other symbol you associate with good luck and protection.
• Put a handful of salt, a sprig of rosemary, and as many basil leaves as you have seatbelts in a plain envelope. Seal this up and keep it in your glove box. Replace and refresh at least twice a year or any time you feel like it needs updating.
• Draw large imaginal, symbolic invoking pentacles over your car any time you are taking a long trip or driving on a road that makes you nervous. As you draw the pentacle, call upon protection, safety, and awareness. Again, if your car is small enough or if you are particularly agile, you can trace the pentacle over your car using water.
• Draw large imaginal, symbolic invoking pentacles over your car any time you leave it parked long term or in a dangerous area. As you draw the pentacle, call upon protection.
Starting a New Job
Think about it: if you work at a typical nine-to-five job, you end up spending more waking hours at your job than any other place. Because of that, stepping into a new workplace is a big deal. Work takes up so much of your life, so it’s a good idea to start it off on the right foot. Doing magick or ritual at the workplace is an easy thing to do. Magick can be done covertly, right under the noses of coworkers, without anyone knowing.
Any new job is a rite of passage, but the magnitude of that rite will differ depending on the rest of the circumstances. A first job is a huge rite of passage. Your first job in a field that you have been studying in is another huge rite of passage. A new job in a new industry is a huge rite of passage.
Starting a new job is a total change of energy. However, many might not look at a new job as a rite of passage at all. But it is a pretty big deal in the grand scheme of things. Starting a new job can be exciting or scary. It could be easy and totally within your wheelhouse, or it could be a big challenge that you have to step into. For the most part, people step into new jobs and workplaces without much ceremony, but we want to invite you to pause and acknowledge this rite of passage as it is happening.
When you start a new situation with a little bit of magick and ritual, you are also setting the stage for what you want to manifest in that situation. A little magick goes a long way. Remember, there’s real power in walking into your new job with your head held high, feeling confident—not cocky—and knowing you are capable and competent. There’s that old saying “start as you mean to go on,” and it really applies here.
I’m a Big Kid Now: Phoenix Enters Corporate America
I was a week shy of twenty when I started my first corporate job. I’d been working at fast food restaurants and a shipping store, but my corporate job felt like my first “real job.” I remember everything about that first day. I was so nervous in my black slacks and brown knit sweater.
When my new boss took me to my little cubicle and showed me my new digs, I just about jumped for joy. My own desk!? My own cubicle!? How cool is that! Looking back after almost two decades in the corporate world, I almost feel sorry for little nineteen-year-old me, but hey, what did she know?
This job made me an official adult. I had my own desk, my own pressed wood walls. I could hang up pictures and bring in a coffee cup to keep on my own desk. (Can you tell I’m a Taurus?) It was like stepping into heaven.
I quickly learned the ropes and saw the bureaucracy of corporate life in America in the 1990s. It didn’t take long for me to realize that I didn’t just need to work on success magick to grow and move up the ladder; I also needed serious protection to keep the system off my back. I hung strategic images in my little cubicle. One such image was a blown-up copy of the Strength tarot card. It served as a daily reminder of my core worth and a layer of protection over that worth.
I also kept a string of jet beads in my file cabinet drawer. This was success and protection mingled into one. No one would question a string of beads in my drawer—it was a simple way to add magick to my space without drawing too much attention to it.
It didn’t take long for people to start to see that I was a bit “different.” Someone asked me if I read tarot cards, which I did. Shortly thereafter, I had a line of folks wanting readings at every lunch break. Rather than hide myself and try to “assimilate with the Borg,” I embraced being the weirdo.
The following ritual is also a spell. It can be used to help you find the perfect job when you first step into the world of employment. It can also be used to help you level up in your career or find a better employment situation. This ritual can be done once or, if you are looking to make a big leap in your career, you may need to do it a few times for maximum impact.
In the supplies listed for this ritual, you will see a printed resume and cover letter. If there is a specific job you want, write the cover letter for that job. However, if you don’t really know what kind of job you are after, write the cover letter for your ideal situation. Make sure you include ideal salary, working conditions, job title, hours, insurance, vacation time, and anything else imperative to your life.
Supplies: A glass-encased yellow candle, an awl or long screwdriver, a green permanent marker, a pinch of five finger grass, a pinch of peppermint, a pinch of alfalfa, your resume printed out, a cover letter for the job you want printed out, and a gold coin.
Set Up: Create a small altar where you can keep this ritual going for as many days as required. The altar only has to be large enough for a piece of paper folded in half—it doesn’t need to be bigger than that. Have all of the supplies out and ready to use.
Ritual: Using the green permanent marker, write the following things on the glass of your glass-encased yellow candle. Do this in a way that is aesthetically pleasing to you. Write:
• Your name
• Your birth date
• The word success
• The name of the job you want
Using the awl or screwdriver, poke seven holes into the top of the wax; do this in a deosil pattern.
Put the pinch of each of the herbs on the top of the candle and into the holes you’ve made. Don’t overfill the top of the candle or it won’t burn properly—you only need a pinch.
Fold your resume and cover letter in half and write “So mote it be” on the paper. Set the paper down on the surface of your designated altar space. Set the candle on top of the paper and lean the coin against the candle.
State your goal out loud and then light the candle. Sit and focus on your goal as the candle burns. See the email inviting you to an interview. See yourself nailing the interview. See the job offer. See it all as if it has already happened and feel the emotions of success. Hold this focus for at least twenty minutes. Let the candle burn for as long as you can. Make sure you practice fire safety and never leave a candle unattended. After at least an hour has passed, snuff out the candle.
Repeat this process the next day and every day after until the candle has burned down completely. This is the kind of ritual you can do over and over again until you get the result you’re aiming for. The finished glass can be recycled once done.
For the ease of description, this ritual will be written with a typical nine-to-five desk job in mind, but it can be easily modified for any other type of job. Start preparing for your day much earlier than you might need to. If you normally need an hour to get ready, start an hour earlier than that.
Supplies: Black tourmaline, citrine, your favorite incense (or clove or cinnamon), your favorite tea/coffee/morning drink, and a small bowl of salt.
Set Up: Place the stones and incense in your bathroom on a counter space. Put the bowl of salt in your shower or bath.
Ritual: Wake up with extra time to prepare for your day. Allow yourself the luxury of waking slowly, giving yourself plenty of time to come into full alertness. Once you are fully awake, get up and start the shower or bath. Light the incense before getting into the shower. Wash yourself as you normally would, but make sure you take time to spiritually cleanse too. Use the salt as an exfoliant and cleanse your spirit body. Wash off anything that doesn’t serve you. Wash off any nervousness or fear and let it flow down the drain.
When finished, step out of the shower and use the incense as a smoke cleanse. Run the smoke across and around your body. Place it back on the counter and finish getting ready as you normally do. With each step, visualize your success in the day. Feel more and more powerful as you brush your teeth, comb your hair, get dressed, put on shoes, and whatever else you do to get ready.
Take the black tourmaline and citrine and go make your favorite tea/coffee/morning drink. Place the stones right next to your coffee cup. While you wait for the water to boil or the coffee to brew, start to visualize your day ahead: stepping into the office for the first time, meeting lots of new people, finding your desk space, and being shown all of the new things.
When your drink is ready, pour it with intention for a good day ahead. Draw an invoking pentacle over the top of your cup while repeating the word success over and over. Pick up your stones and place them in your pocket or bra. Sit down and drink your drink. Savor it. Take your time and let the drink of success fill you up.
Complete any other tasks you typically do in the morning and then leave, surrounded by a feeling of success. Any time throughout the day if you are feeling overwhelmed or nervous, feel the stones you carry with you and let yourself fill up with the feeling of success again.
When and if you have your own workspace, keep the stones there as a reminder.
New Home
Moving to a new house is quite a big deal. Modern life can make moving feel like a bit of a hassle, but it is still a typical part of life. There has only been a short amount of time in history that humans have started living in smaller and smaller family groups. Once upon a time, humans were mainly nomadic, but a nomadic lifestyle isn’t one of packing up and moving from house to house every few years. Nomadic life is more about following the flow of the natural world around you.
As humans became more “civilized,” they continued to live in family domiciles with many generations all living together. Children would inherit family land or homes. This isn’t really commonplace anymore; people don’t always stay in the same town, let alone the same house. It’s a big deal to pack up all of your worldly belongings, put them on a truck, drive to a completely different place, and then unpack all of the said belongings. It takes a lot of physical and emotional work.
Leaving your family or childhood home to strike out on your own is a major transition and rite of passage. This is another step from being a child to becoming an adult. Moving to a different city, town, or country are all major rites of passage. Buying your first home is another rite that equates to a big shift in your life. But every move of your living space can be seen as a rite of passage; each one will vary in degree to your life circumstances.
Moving into a new place puts you into relationships with new spirits. It’s good manners and good spiritual hygiene to introduce yourself to those spirits. Before moving a single piece of furniture into your new living situation, it is important to make introductions to the spirit of the place, make offerings, and cleanse the space of any previous energies left behind. Some folklore about moving house:
• Your first guest should bring bread and salt.
• Leave your old broom behind. Do not bring it with you to the new dwelling. You don’t want to bring your old troubles or anything you’ve purposefully swept out before with you.
• If possible, walk the perimeter of your property and say hello to the spirits who live there already.
The following section contains two different cleansing rituals to use before moving into a new space. They are completely interchangeable, but we give you two so you can choose whichever works better for you. Feel free to repeat either ritual at any time you feel a breach in your protection or notice a heavy energy that needs clearing out.
This ritual should be performed before moving any of your belongings into the new space. There are several options with the supplies for this ritual. Choose what feels appropriate to you and the place where you live. If all the people moving into the new space can be present this is ideal, but not necessary.
Supplies: Cleansing herbs or resins to be burned (sage, rosemary, thyme, lavender, dragon’s blood, or frankincense can all work), a firesafe container, incense charcoal, and a bowl of salt water.
Set Up: Place all the items at or near the front door, including a lighter for the herbs.
Ritual: Start at the center of your home. Ground and center yourself so you feel fully present and ready to step into ritual. When you are ready, move to your front door and pick up the bowl of salt water. Use your dominant hand and draw a pentacle in the water.
Using your dominant hand, sprinkle water at the front door and then begin moving in a deosil direction. Continue to sprinkle the water as you move through the space. Follow the walls, turning down every hallway and room, allowing the salt water to touch all the edges of the space. This is to cleanse and clear your space. When you return to the front door, set down the bowl of salt water and pick up the herbs.
Light the herbs in your firesafe container. Keep them burning as you complete another circuit of your new house. Before you begin, use the smoke to draw a pentacle at your front door. Once complete, move in a deosil direction, stopping at any energetic openings, and draw another pentacle with the smoke. Energetic openings are electrical outlets, windows, mirrors, fireplaces or stovepipes, closets, entryways to crawl spaces or attics, and any other spots where you feel an energetic shoring up may be needed.
This process of warding your space may take some time. When you return to the front door, the work is completed and you can begin moving in your belongings! Welcome home.
This cleansing should be done before you move any belongings into the new space. This is best done a full day before the move-in process begins.
Supplies: A bell, cleansing herbs or resins (sage, rosemary, black copal, dragon’s blood, or frankincense), a firesafe container, incense charcoal, and an offering dish for a small amount of milk and honey.
Set Up: Make sure all the windows and doors are closed tight. Have all your supplies as close to the center of the house as possible.
Ritual: Begin by grounding and centering yourself so you feel ready to step into ritual. When you are ready, light the herbs. Move throughout the house, letting it get smoky. Let each room get filled with as much smoke as you can.
When you feel ready, run through the house, opening all the windows and doors. Allow the smoke to pour out, taking any negative energy with it. Pick up the bell and run through the space ringing it. This will disperse any old energy and leave the house clear and fresh.
Finally, place your offering of milk and honey at the front door. Speak to the spirits of the place. Let them know you want to live in harmony with them. Any spirits who support your life, success, and prosperity are welcome.
Close up the windows and doors and return the next day to move in your things. The work is done. Welcome home!
Cleansing the house is only the first step. Once the space is cleared, it’s considered spiritually safe to move in your personal items, and you also want to bless the space that you have moved into. Typically, this is done once you are moved in and unpacked. It’s like the final stamp on the letter to claim the space as your own.
This ritual is best done in conjunction with a housewarming party. It is designed to work for people of all faiths, so you don’t have to expose your witchiness if you are not out of the broom closet. When all your guests have arrived, explain that you are going to ask everyone to participate in a house blessing.
Supplies: A beautiful image you will hang on the wall as a piece of art, a white or light-colored mat to fit it, a picture frame to fit the mat (at least eight-by-ten inches), and colorful pens.
Set Up: Place the pens and mat on a flat surface in your home. Save the frame and picture for after the party has ended.
Ritual: When you have your mat and pens set up and all your guests have arrived, ask for their attention. Ask guests to write a blessing for your house on the mat. If there are specific themes or blessings you want included, name them. Give plenty of time for your guests to write out their best wishes for you.
After the party is over and your guests have all gone home, take the mat and put it around the picture you have chosen and place it in the frame. Hang this blessing as close to your front door as possible.
This ritual is best done with your coven, housemates, or a small group of people who are into the idea of a witchy ritual. It can be performed at any time of day, and any of the previous cleansings can be incorporated into the working. This ritual is best done once all the furniture has been moved in and all the boxes have been unpacked.
Supplies: Cleansing herbs to burn, a firesafe bowl, a bowl of salt water, a seven-inch candle, a wand, and an athame.
Set Up: If the house has an altar space, put all the items on the altar. If no altar is set up, use a kitchen table or coffee table. Place all the items out so they are easily accessible.
Ritual: Begin with a cleansing and grounding for the people participating in the ritual. Make sure everyone is ready to step into ritual space. One of the residents of the house should pick up the salt water.
Resident: “Together, we cleanse this space.”
The group walks through the house, sprinkling the space with the salt water to cleanse the perimeter of the house. While moving through the space, the group should chant:
We charge this home
We bless this space
We no longer roam
We have found our place
When the group has finished the perimeter, return to the altar space. The resident(s) should set down the bowl of salt water and pick up the herbs, lighting them.
Resident: “Together, we charge this space.”
The group walks through the house, using the smoke of the herbs to charge up the perimeter of the house. While moving through the space, repeat the previous chant. When the group has finished the perimeter, return to the altar space. The resident(s) should set down the herbs and pick up the candle.
Resident: “Together, we enliven this space.”
The group walks through the house, using the light of the candle to shine up the perimeter of the house. While moving through the space, repeat the previous chant. When the group has finished the perimeter, return to the altar space. Resident(s) should set down the candle.
Resident(s) call on any guides, allies, ancestors, or deities that they want to invoke and invite formally into the ritual space. Typically, you release these energies at the end of a ritual, but as this is for a new living space, you want to keep your allies welcomed, so saying goodbye isn’t necessary.
Each participant now speaks a blessing out loud for the new home.
Repeat any time it feels like the ward or protections of the house need to be reinforced.
Moving Sacred Space from the
Old Temple to the New Temple
What happens if you move and you want to take the magick with you? If you have a ritual room, temple space, or other magickal space in your home and you have to relocate it, you can quite literally collect the magick you’ve created and take it with you to your new location, especially if you plan on building another temple or sacred space in the new spot. This ritual can be used to gather up the magick from one location and release it in another.
Supplies: A large quartz crystal, black fabric large enough to wrap around the crystal, a small box large enough to hold the crystal, and your wand.
Set Up: Perform this ritual immediately after you have finished packing up the physical objects in the room, including taking down any artwork from the walls. Open the black fabric in the center of the room and place the crystal in the center of it. Hold your wand in your hand.
Ritual: Starting in the north, use your wand to gather up all the energy in the room. Hold your wand in your dominant hand and make a stirring motion, gathering up the energy, and direct it into the crystal. Move in a widdershins direction, stirring up the energy and directing it into the crystal while you say:
I’m gathering up the power of this space
I’m gathering up the flow
May all the magick that’s been created here
Get ready to be on the go
Repeat this process three times. Check in and see if there is any residual energy stuck in the room. If so, use your wand to gather it up, shifting it from the room, to the wand, to the crystal.
When you feel complete, carefully wrap the crystal in the black fabric and place it in the box. This box needs to be delicately moved to your new location—don’t leave the box unattended at any point.
At the new location, when your new temple space is completely set up, place the box in the center of the room. Remove the fabric from the box and set it in the center of the room. Unfold the fabric.
Use your wand to then shift the energy from the crystal to the room. Visualize pulling the energy of your temple space out of the crystal like a pop-up tent. Move around your new temple space in a deosil direction. As you do, say:
I’m releasing the power of this space
I’m releasing the flow
May this place absorb this magick of mine
As of now, let it be so
Marriage
You might think including marriage in the leveling up section is an odd choice, but it does fit. Marriage, with its civic and legal ramifications, does change the nature of a relationship between people, and in that way, there is a leveling up of sorts. When people enter into a legal marriage, they are agreeing to a contract. Depending on the laws that govern marriage, the contract you’re agreeing to confers upon you more rights and responsibilities that—as distasteful as it may seem on your wedding day—will protect you in court should the marriage not last “’til death do you part.” A wedding ceremony is a ritual that creates a spiritual contract.
Now, that is not to say that other relationship models are not valid or that the only way to level up in a relationship is to get married, nor is it true that one person marrying another person and becoming a legally recognized entity is the best and preferred way to go about spending a lifetime. That’s simply not true. A great number of people have long-lasting, committed, loving unions that never require getting a signature from a county clerk or registrar.
For our purposes, we’re going to use the idea of marriage, as in the joining of persons. And in that joining, something greater than the sum of the parts is created. And for the sake of ease in writing this, we’re going to describe marriage as between two people. Again, that’s not an endorsement of the way it “should” be.
Entering into marriage is a huge step. The ritual transforms you from being a solo person to an equal participant in a committed relationship. This ceremony may be large and lavish, or it may be a small ceremony at a courthouse. The ritual may take place because people want a ritualized commitment to each other, or it may take place for financial reasons or due to family pressure. It doesn’t matter if you have a wedding or just sign documents at the justice of the peace, a marriage is a rite of passage.
Prior to the Middle Ages, in Scotland a handfasting was the probationary period, what modern Pagans and Witches might refer to as the year-and-a-day before the commitment was sealed. It was a trial period to determine if the couple wanted to hold this commitment for life. The couple’s hands would literally be tied together during the ritual.10 However, this wasn’t the case in all the British Isles.
Many Witches and Pagans have likely heard the term handfasting. Some even refer to handfasting as a Pagan wedding ceremony. This term was common in Britain during the Middle Ages and referred to a betrothal, not the actual wedding ritual. It was a small ceremony that took place before the church wedding was held. It was legally binding, but the spiritual binding didn’t happen until the church ritual made it official in the eyes of the Christian god. Handfasting was a common practice in England until 1754, when the Marriage Act was written into law as an attempt to stop any clandestine marriages from happening.11
So here you can see another British or Celtic term that has become ubiquitous with modern Pagan ideas. Many modern Pagans have latched on to the idea that a handfasting is a trial marriage that renews after a year-and-a-day or every year on the anniversary. And handfastings are legally binding, assuming the person performing the handfasting is licensed to marry you. This varies from state to state in the US and rules vary from country to country, so make sure you know the laws where you live before hiring your high priestess to marry you.
Stepping into marriage is not a rite of passage to be taken lightly. You are bonding yourself to another person (or persons)—for better or for worse—legally, financially, and in the case of handfasting, spiritually. Even with the caveat that it is a “trial” year-and-a-day, it is deep magick. The taxman doesn’t care if you think your marriage is temporary; if you filed a marriage license legally, you are married in the eyes of the law.
This is not an attempt to take all the romance out of marriage, but for many, the concept of a handfasting doesn’t feel as permanent or serious. And it is. There is a reason marriage rates are going down every year: people are waiting longer and longer to get married. In many countries where there is universal health care, folks are choosing not to get married at all. People are opting for a handfasting ceremony and forgoing any legal entanglements.
Ultimately, a handfasting is a spiritual ritual. It is a combining of energies, spirits, and families. Even without legal papers, it bonds people together. A handfasting rite of passage is an initiation into that bonded state. Make sure you and any partners are clear on that commitment, what it means, and how you plan to respect that commitment before any formal ritualization happens.
We had a handfasting, but that came a year after our legal marriage happened. We didn’t tell anyone we were planning to get married; we just went off and did it. Our marriage was a contract of legal obligation to each other and to the children we brought into the relationship. It was fun and silly and romantic, but we were both totally clear it was for insurance, taxes, and our kids’ schooling. We so wanted to celebrate our commitment to each other for the long haul, but our spiritual ritual didn’t happen until later. It was far more serious for us to be ready for the spiritual ceremony over the civic contract.
The handfasting rituals we have included in this book are titled by how “non-Pagan friendly” they are. If you’d like to have a handfasting ritual but are worried that non-Pagan family might not be accepting, we have a ritual for you. And, conversely, if you want your handfasting to be witchy AF, we have a ritual for you too.
However, we start this section with a ritual for preparing for marriage. Perhaps you’re not in a relationship at the moment, but you feel ready to step into a commitment. Perhaps you and your partner(s) are looking ahead at your future and starting to plan for your commitment. This ritual can help you step into the flow heading toward marriage.
Perform this ritual on your own if you are not in a relationship or with your partner if you are in a relationship. This ritual is to set the energetic stage to get you ready for long-term commitment.
Supplies: A small jar of honey with a metal lid, a spoon, a handful of rose petals, a handful of damiana, and seven pink, four-inch chime candles.
Set Up: Have all the supplies out on a table or surface that is easily accessible. You will also need a place where the jar can be left for seven days following the working.
Ritual: Open the jar of honey and put in the rose petals and damiana. Stir the honey and then use the spoon to draw an invoking pentacle in the honey three times. As you draw the pentacles, say the following (if you are doing this ritual as a couple change the “I” to “we”):
I’m calling forth the sweetness
I’m calling forth the love
I’m calling forth commitment
I am ready, I am open, and I am willing
Place your finger in the honey and then taste it. Seal up the jar and light one of the pink candles. Use a lighter to soften the bottom of the candle and affix it to the top of the jar. Hold your intention as the candle burns. Repeat this process daily for the following week.
Once you have burned through the candles, start using the honey in your cooking as a sweetener, or use in baking, especially if this is food or drink that you will be sharing with your loved ones.
Handfasting Ritual for the Masses
This ritual can occur at any time. It is intended to work as a more traditional wedding ceremony with a strong Pagan flavoring. The terms Partner 1 and Partner 2 will refer to the couple getting married. If this handfasting is for more than two people, adjust the ritual as needed. The words for the officiant are clearly labeled. After the officiant asks questions of the audience or the couple, make sure to take time to wait for the responses.
Supplies: Ribbons to tie hands and any other decorations the couple wants included on the main altar space.
Set Up: Have a small table or altar space near where the ceremony will take place. Put all the ritual items on the table, set up in a way that is aesthetically pleasing.
Ritual: Allow the ceremony to start as desired by the couple getting handfasted. Once the couple are both standing in front of Officiant and any music has ended, let the ritual begin.
Officiant: “Today we are gathered to celebrate the union between (Partner 1) and (Partner 2) before friends and family. In order to hold this moment in each of your minds and hearts, I invite you to look around this sacred circle we are creating together. It is important we acknowledge that (Partner 1) and (Partner 2) are not here on their own. A line of ancestors stands behind each of them, and I want to take a moment to honor that lineage.
“(Partner 1) and (Partner 2), please turn and face the guests you have invited to witness this moment in your lives. I invite you to look around at the people gathered here today. You are all special to (Partner 1) and (Partner 2). As members of their friends and family unit, your relationship to this relationship is not one of mere spectatorship. I ask each of you to contemplate these questions and answer them out loud to the couple: Are you willing to celebrate their love, from this day forward, as they celebrate it? Are you willing to lend them your fierce and unrelenting support as they support each other? Are you willing to laugh with them in good times? Are you willing to hold them in your hearts and prayers should there be rough times?
“(Partner 1) and (Partner 2), please face each other and hold hands. Marriage is one of the most wonderful and challenging of all human relationships. This ceremony doesn’t make your marriage; only your relationship with each other can do that.
“Often rings are exchanged at the end of a wedding ceremony as a symbol of commitment. Today rings will be exchanged now so the couple may feel the bond of their relationship as they speak the words of their commitment to each other. May I have the rings please?”
Hold up the rings.
Officiant: “The circle is one of the most sacred symbols. It is a sign of un-
ending love and connection. It is a symbol of wholeness.”
Hand the appropriate ring to Partner 1.
Officiant: “(Partner 1), place this ring on the finger of (Partner 2) and say, ‘I give you this ring as a reminder of my commitment and love for you.’”
Hand appropriate ring to Partner 2.
Officiant: “(Partner 2), place this ring on the finger of (Partner 1) and say, ‘I give you this ring as a reminder of my commitment and love for you.’”
Pick up the ribbons and tie the partners’ hands together.
Officiant: “Love, patience, joy, and connection will form this bond.”
Wrap the ribbons around the hands of the couple another time.
Officiant: “Dedication, perseverance, forgiveness, and communication will form this bond.”
Wrap the ribbons around the hands of the couple another time.
Officiant: “Honesty, awareness, intimacy, and love will form this bond.”
Finish tying off the ribbons.
Officiant: “(Partner 1), please share the vows that you have written for (Partner 2).”
Wait as Partner 1 shares their vows.
Officiant: “(Partner 2), please share the vows that you have written for (Partner 1).”
Wait as Partner 2 shares their vows.
Officiant: “(Partner 1) and (Partner 2), will you both answer the following questions. Will you share each other’s burdens? Will you share each other’s laughter? Will you share each other’s dreams? Will you honor each other?
“By the power of your love and the commitment you have offered to each other, I pronounce you wedded. Please seal this commitment with a kiss.”
Handfasting Ritual for Witches,
Pagans, and the Open-Minded
This ritual can occur at any time. It is designed for two officiants but can easily be modified for other numbers. The terms Officiant 1 and Officiant 2 refer to the two leading the ritual. This is also written for a couple, but if there are multiple partners being handfasted this can also be adjusted. The terms Partner 1 and Partner 2 will refer to the couple getting married.
There is also the assumption of attendants written into this ritual. You can have as many—or as few—attendants as you might like. They can either remain standing in the ritual space, as you would see in a traditional wedding, or they can enter as described and then sit with the rest of the witnesses and guests. At least one attendant for each partner should hold the ring, which will be given as a token to the other partner.
If the ritual is small (with only a few people), the circle preparations can be done around all of those in attendance. If it is a large gathering, the circle preparation can be done only around those getting handfasted. This handfasting is written without any specific deities being called. However, if the couple have deities that they want included in this event, this can be easily included in the ritual.
Supplies: A bell, a horn, a bowl of salt, a bowl of water, a bowl of soil, incense, a large white pillar candle at least six inches, herbs to burn for cleansing, a fireproof bowl, incense charcoal, ribbon for tying hands, decorated besom, and an athame for each Officiant.
Set Up: Have an altar set up where the couple will stand for ceremony. Place all of the items listed above on the altar in a way that is aesthetically pleasing. Add any additional elements the couple desires for decoration.
Ritual: The ceremony begins when Officiants stand in their place at the altar. No other people should be at the altar. Officiant 1 rings the bell, moving around the ritual space. At the same time, Officiant 2 sprinkles salt around the ritual space.
Officiant 1: “Welcome to the handfasting ritual for (Partner 1) and (Partner 2). We celebrate their union as community, friends, and family. We call to (Partner 1) to declare their intention.”
Officiant blows the horn. Partner 1’s attendants enter the ritual space, with Partner 1 as the last person to come into the area.
Officiant 1: “Are you (Partner 1)?”
Partner 1: “Yes.”
Officiant 1: “And do you enter into this ritual of your own free will?”
Partner 1: “Yes.”
Officiant 1: “And what is your intention?”
Partner 1: “To enter into a handfasting commitment with (Partner 2).”
Partner 1 takes their place at the altar.
Officiant 2: “We call to (Partner 2) to declare their intention.”
Officiant blows the horn. Partner 2’s attendants enter the ritual space, with Partner 2 as the last person to come into the area.
Officiant 2: “Are you (Partner 2)?”
Partner 2: “Yes.”
Officiant 2: “And do you enter into this ritual of your own free will?”
Partner 2: “Yes.”
Officiant 2: “And what is your intention?”
Partner 2: “To enter into a handfasting commitment with (Partner 1).”
Partner 2 takes their place at the altar.
Officiant 1: “We offer a cleansing to the couple as a way of preparing their bodies and spirits to enter into this ritual together.”
Officiant 1 holds the fireproof container while Officiant 2 places the herbs in the bowl and lights it on fire. Together they use the herbs to sain, or ritually cleanse with smoke, the couple.
Officiant 2: “As you are bathed in the smoke of this incense, release any fear, regret, or worry; allow yourself to be here and fully present.”
Officiants return the object to the altar and each pick up an athame.
Officiant 1: “Together we create a sacred circle to hold the magick of this ritual.”
Officiant 2 to the gathered audience members: “Please stand and lend your energy to the creation of our container.”
Officiants move to the north.
Officiant 1 draws an invoking pentacle and says, “By the earth that holds our bodies.”
Officiant 2 draws an invoking pentacle and says, “By the grove that holds our magick.”
Each Officiant uses their athames to direct energy from north to east. Facing the east, Officiant 1 draws an invoking pentacle and says, “By the air that brings us breath.”
Officiant 2 draws an invoking pentacle and says, “By the music that brings us joy.”
Each Officiant uses their athames to direct energy from east to south. Facing the south, Officiant 1 draws an invoking pentacle and says, “By the fire of our passions.”
Officiant 2 draws an invoking pentacle and says, “By the heat that warms our hearts.”
Each Officiant uses their athames to direct energy from south to west. Facing the west, Officiant 1 draws an invoking pentacle and says, “By the waters of our living blood.”
Officiant 2 draws an invoking pentacle and says, “By the rain that cleanses our spirits.”
Each Officiant uses their athames to direct energy from west to north, completing the circle and then returning to the altar.
Officiant 1 points their athame to the sky, drawing an invoking pentacle above, and says, “By the star in the heavens above.”
Officiant 2 point their athame to the ground, drawing an invoking pentacle below, and says, “By the star in the center of the earth.”
Officiants return their athames to the altar and face the assembled people with the couple in front of them.
Officiant 2: “You may all be seated. The symbol of the circle is a representation of a cycle that never ends and goes on forever. Night becomes day. The spring turns to summer. The spinning of the wheel never stops. Please bring forward the symbols you have chosen to represent this mystery.”
Attendants for each Partner give rings to Partner 1 and Partner 2. They will exchange these rings with each other.
Officiant 1 to Partner 1: “Place this ring on the finger of your beloved and state your oath.”
Partner 1 speaks their own words.
Officiant 2 to Partner 2: “Place this ring on the finger of your beloved and state your oath.”
Partner 2 speak their own words.
Officiant 1: “In the tradition of handfasting, honoring the old ways, I ask for you to clasp hands.”
Officiants tie the two partners’ hands together with the ribbon from the altar. Officiant 1 takes the bowl of soil while Officiant 2 guides the couple to face the north. Officiant 1 places the bowl of soil under the tied hands.
Officiant 1: “We call upon the spirit of earth. We ask you to bless this couple with strength and stability. Blessed be.”
Officiant 1 places the bowl of soil back on the altar. Officiant 2 picks up the burning incense while Officiant 1 guides the couple to face the east. Officiant 2 allows the incense smoke to flow over the tied hands of the couple.
Officiant 2: “We call upon the spirit of air. We ask you to bless this couple with clarity and communication. Blessed be.”
Officiant 2 returns the incense to the altar. Officiant 1 picks up the burning candle while Officiant 2 guides the couple to face the south. Officiant 1 carefully holds the candle under the hands of the partners, being cautious not to burn them.
Officiant 1: “We call upon the spirit of fire. We ask you to bless this couple with passion and inspiration. Blessed be.”
Officiant 1 returns the candle to the altar. Officiant 2 picks up the bowl of water while Officiant 1 guides the couple to face the west. Officiant 2 holds the couple’s hands over the bowl of water.
Officiant 2: “We call upon the spirit of water. We ask you to bless this couple with connection and flow. Blessed be.”
Officiant 2 returns the bowl of water to the altar while Officiant 1 guides the couple back to the main altar.
Officiant 1: “(Partner 1), repeat after me. By blood and blossom. By breath and bone. By star and seed. By ember and song. I pledge myself to you.”
Partner 1 repeats.
Officiant 2: “(Partner 2), repeat after me. By blood and blossom. By breath and bone. By star and seed. By ember and song. I pledge myself to you.”
Partner 2 repeats.
Officiant 1: “This commitment, witnessed by those present, by the ancient ones, and the spirit of this place, has been completed.
Officiant 2: “We celebrate this union and ask (Partner 1) and (Partner 2) to please seal this ceremony with a kiss.”
Wait for cheers and clapping to subside.
Officiant 1 moves the decorated broom in front of the couple, asking them to face the attendees.
Officiant 2: “Before this couple jumps the broom and starts their new life together, we ask each of you to help seal this bond with a tone.”
Officiant 2 begins a tone, this will grow and continue for as long as it needs to. When the sound ends, the two Officiants will gesture to the couple to jump the broom.
Officiant 1: “We thank the guides and guardians for witnessing this rite.”
Both Officiants pick up their athames and banish the circle in reverse order of how they created it. They do this in silence, gathering up the energy of the circle into their athames.
When they have finished gathering up the power of the circle, they both place their athames on the bound hands of the couple.
Officiant 2: “The power of this circle binds you to each other. Merry we meet, merry we all shall part, and merry we shall meet again. Blessed be!”
The bound couple should receive their guests while tied together. When this process is complete, one of the Officiants will remove the ties and give them to the couple as a handfasting present.
Retirement
There’s an age range of folks who might be looking at the word retirement with a wistful glance before skipping this section completely. Retirement was once the great promise that a life of hard work would lead to a nice chunk of time when people could relax and enjoy the spoils of all the hard work they did. Retirement was a guarantee at one point, but that simply isn’t true anymore.
Truly, the rite of passage of retirement is a huge feat to accomplish, and it is one worth celebrating.
The following ritual could also be called a retirement party, and you might already feel familiar with it. This is to celebrate this rite of passage and honor the giant accomplishment retirement is.
Supplies: Party supplies including food, drink, and decorations.
Set Up: Make the party as big or as small as you desire.
Ritual: Party! Nothing else formal is needed. Invite people to make speeches to honor those that have worked with the retiree. Make space for the retiree to give a speech. Sing, dance, eat, drink, and enjoy the celebration.