After the death of Ernst’s wife Thesa, in exile in Thessaloniki at the end of 1939, Marie wrote to him, following a painful three and a half year break in their friendship, to offer her condolences. That letter was written in the spring of 1940, but it was only in the following autumn, when they had finally admitted their love for each other – become ‘engaged’, as Marie later puts it – that Ernst began to save her letters. At the point when we enter the conversation, Marie had already experienced more than two years of displacement, after her family escaped from the Sudetenland, including eighteen months of the German occupation. Soon after the invasion, the Germans and the Czech Protectorate authorities began to introduce anti-Jewish laws that restricted the social space of those considered Jewish. On 21 June 1939, the Reichsprotektor Konstantin von Neurath issued a law concerning Jewish property, which introduced the racial Nuremberg Laws in the Protectorate. Other laws limited Jews’ employment opportunities. They were barred from public schools, could shop only at certain times of the day, and were not allowed to visit public parks, restaurants, museums, public baths, theatres and cinemas. There was a curfew that forbade the Jews from leaving their homes after 8 pm. Marie often alludes to the restrictions, though she needs to be very careful because of the censor who checks every line she sends to Ernst. With the shrinking ‘Jewish map’i and progressing ‘social death’,ii the renewed contact and relationship with Ernst offered Marie the possibility of escapism from the real world of persecution. Ernst at this point was enjoying the last days of peace before, in less than a fortnight, fascist Italy invaded Greece. Thessaloniki was not directly impacted by the fighting, but Ernst’s granddaughter Erika remembered the changing life conditions and atmosphere in the city with the approaching winter: ‘The newspapers kept printing big headlines about our army’s victories. … The first weeks went by and then the first casualties arrived. Feet with gangrene, amputated legs. The first dead, and then more and more … All the terrors of war. The cold was getting more severe.’iii
Karlín, 17/10/1940
My dear Ernst
Your letter of 8 October came yesterday and I want to answer it straightaway. I myself can’t understand why I am in such a hurry to reply, but my thoughts are constantly with you and I want to chat with you. My God, how has this become possible? How has it all come about? Who would have believed that this could happen at our age? I’m not ashamed, I think it is beautiful that despite one’s age one can feel so young, both you and me. I’m so happy and soooo delighted with the contents of your letter. Many thanks for your sincerity and your trust in me. You restore so much to me, you lift me up as no other person is able to do. I can easily bear all sorts of unpleasantness and, as you gather, I really do throw my head back and say to myself: ‘And now let’s look ahead, life is worth living, it’s beautiful to be alive.’ I can rejoice like a child over your love and kindness and oh, how beautiful it would be if you were here with me. I too am now seized by a great longing and how do I deal with it? By writing to you and by imagining that you’re sitting here next to me now, we’re telling each other all sorts of things; there’s laughter, joking and discussion. And then I shake my head at what I’m doing. Is it really me? How can this be happening? Am I doing something wrong? No, I tell myself, when I think of my reasons, and you know them! And so I thank fate for giving me your friendship. I’ll keep and look after this precious thing as my most valued possession, to treasure it in days to come in my own manner. And so that I may succeed I will ask God that we may remain healthy and cheerful, so that we really do meet again!
After you cleared up all the doubts that arose from your letter, three letters ago, I am not sulking any more, as you can see. I can give you my hand and we are absolutely friends again, but I really must tell you why I was very unhappy. When I wrote to you that no-one is allowed to trouble our friendship you answered that perhaps the main cause would be the great distance, because one is subject to external influences.
I accept your assurance that nobody reads my letters to you. That is as it should be. They are our affair alone, which can’t interest any third person, and so I can write to you much more openly if I know that.
Don’t let yourself be undermined by the times. It is absolutely not possible in the situation we live in to grumble when one is living with and dependent on one’s nearest relatives. The times are so exceptional and the difference between what is one’s own and what is another person’s has been so heavily blurred, compared to what it was before, and he who has been less affected by fate must quite obviously share with the other. I find it is much harder for the one who takes than for the one who gives; it can all change again. Your dear [daughter] Hella is a wonderful woman, to judge from your descriptions. She’s making your life smooth and pleasant. She always impresses me in the way she does things. I think it’s just wonderful that you are able to live among such lovely young people and that you can spend this temporary period in such a beautiful country. As you describe so interestingly, there is everything in profusion there and much is so cheap, and your vineyard!1 – it must be so nice to spend a day there. The mosquitoes are less pleasant. We too have sufficient provisions, the rationing works impeccably, there is perfect order and fairness in it and I am quite content.
From America2 we have news from the ‘friends’3 that Edith and her husband, brother-in-law and sister-in-law are renting a house near their town. The men are working at their jobs. They didn’t write where Grete is and I’m actually most worried about her. Today I am sending you Ulli’s4 address because I’m afraid that some day you may not be able to write to me any more. I simply couldn’t imagine your letters stopping and I do believe that you would want to avoid that. So please make a note: Dr F. U., Geneva, Switzerland, 44 rue des Pâquis. He’ll be able to give you news of the conditions in the country from which you have no direct news.
I have to stop soon, as there’s not much more room. If you have time and want to, write a diary for me and send me a page from it sometimes, because I want to know a lot about you and I’ll do the same and tell you things from the last 4½ years of my life which seem worth while to me. Please give my greetings to all the family. Write to me as soon as you feel you want to. For me it can never be too soon. I send you very much love and I think of you all the time.
Your Mitzi
Thessaloniki, Odos Koromila 3,
26/10/1940
My dear Mitzi
Many thanks for your loving letter of the 17th October, which I received today. I read it three times so as to be sure I wasn’t dreaming that it was all true. My thoughts were with you the whole time and I must admit that it was that letter and no other that I was looking forward to. Any other would have been a great disappointment for me. I’m not as surprised as you are at the fact that we love each other. It was present even in our youth and was only repressed by our understandable reserve. When people love each other their love will out, and in that I played my part in full. Nevertheless, I am not as confident as you but I hope I will become so. Yes, you’re quite right when you say that life is still a precious thing, but will it be granted to us to make this thing a reality? I hope and wish for it perhaps even more passionately than you because I was certainly aware of it before you were. I thank you again and again that as soon as you became conscious of it you expressed your feelings. You yourself have already answered the question of whether it was wrong, but it is more than just not wrong, it is a duty. I am only afraid, my darling, that you think too highly of me, but for me, the more highly you think of me the better.
As far as my health goes, I feel well and will try to remain so. But although I don’t often show my feelings, I am nevertheless, like most people, very receptive to love, because it is pure. So now you will understand why I was always writing in my letters that I want to come back. Perhaps the war will end soon so that there will still be time for us to be happy. You mustn’t talk so much about the burden of age. I don’t believe there is any reason to be ashamed but to be joyful, at any rate for ourselves. You know full well my thoughts on family but all that is unimportant. Only absolute selfishness is healthy.
I take as understood your promise never to interpret my words as intending to hurt you since it is obvious that I don’t want to do that. Both sides must understand these words we may say to each other in the light of the situation which exists between us. Stick to that principle, no-one may interfere, whoever it may be. If I expressed some thoughts about this it was really only from worry and anxiety because you’ve several times been subject to these pressures. It is in my nature always to speak as I think and if no loving word passes my lips, it’s not with the intention of hurting. I know that you were surrounded by much tenderness and love, which were also expressed in words. You can’t expect that from me but actions will replace words. If you remember that, dearest Mitzi, you won’t feel disappointed in me. It’s particularly right at the beginning to give of oneself naturally and not let any false expectations arise. Really, I don’t need to write that because we’ve known each other long enough and I’ve never pretended otherwise. I know that you need a lot of love and tenderness but I can only be sincere … .
I couldn’t finish this letter yesterday and today, as I continue it, war has broken out between Greece and Italy.5
The text ends at this point. The rest is missing.
Karlín, 22/10/1940
Sent before Ernst’s letter of 26 October was received.
My dear Ernst
Well, that was a pleasure this morning to have your letter in my hands, because I had calculated from the date of your last one that the next letter wouldn’t arrive for another three days. First of all, my deepest thanks for your good wishes. I too could wish myself a bit of happiness. One must just hope and trust to the future.
There’s only one bitter pill in your letter and that is your terrible loss of weight. It really won’t do, my Ernstili. If you were here I would soon feed you up. If I knew that Hella wouldn’t mind, I would send her a few good recipes for dumplings. What do you think, my darling? Can I risk it?
I’ve seen Dr Gallus and his daughter6 quite frequently. Things are probably going as well for them as for other people. I’ll find out and let you know.
Would you like to have the Jewish newspaper from here?7 I don’t in fact know whether I’ll be allowed to send it but it would be useful for you to be able to read it because I see it’s not years but decades that you’ve been away from here.8 Forgive me if I am so frank. I can’t always express myself as I would like to but that’s how it is.
The ‘friends’ have just sent us greetings for our family Saturday, which gave great pleasure to everyone. The couple are living in a country house near Chicago. The house has been put at their disposal by a friend of the family. The little one is a good little housewife, the big one has a job. They seem to be living very happily. I am so glad about it.
Now I must give you a picture of some of the types of people here to help you imagine them. There is one kind who simply can’t come to terms with conditions today. As long as they themselves were not affected, they thought that fate would not touch them as it did others, that everything would remain as it had been for them and that the war had nothing to do with them. But when the time comes for them to be tested, then they are desperately unhappy, they destroy the happiness of home and family and the husband and the whole family around him become ill or unable to work, etc. I’ve no time at all for this sort. The next type face the times sensibly and calmly, prepare themselves quietly for an alternative career, both husband and wife lower their standard of living, accepting everything as it must be accepted and simplifying life for themselves and others. But neither type can imagine themselves in the position of a refugee. They thought that we9 were the only ones to be tested; they, the so-called Czech Jews, were privileged and saw us as intruders and I always disliked that very much because views like that don’t fit with my way of seeing things. But now everybody is in the same boat, which is right and just. On the other hand I’m impressed by those older people who bravely take up various training courses to learn everything possible about manual skills. It is truly moving and admirable what those people do. Ernstili, you would be astonished if you saw professors, doctors, lawyers working, mostly with great diligence and thoroughness, for example at poultry farming, studying the theory and preparing themselves for exams, among them sometimes men well over sixty years old.10
Now it’s time for our personal chat. First of all, please don’t forget your photograph. I am looking forward to it. I won’t talk about being in the dumps again because I won’t do anything any more that you don’t want – that’s the first thing I want to say. Again, it’s you I have to thank for my confidence because I know that you need it and I know that by helping each other to stand up tall, our friendship will blossom in the way I want it to.
How would it be if we wrote to each other twice a week, whether there is an answer or not? Then we would always have something to look forward to every third day. I think I could then contain my yearning a little. Only I don’t know if my longing for you isn’t too great. If it is, then just say so. There would be an awful lot I could tell you about what I lived through in the last four and a half years when we weren’t speaking to each other and you could also tell me all sorts of things about any period of your life.
Please give my best wishes to the young ones and the youngest. I can only urge Hella to use the greatest energy in fattening you up!
Warmest greetings from your Mitzi.
Thessaloniki, 13/11/1940
My dearest Marie
I received your letter of the 22nd today and I’m hurrying to answer straightaway. I hope that in the meantime you have received mine of 26/10 and I’m very curious to have your answer, although from what you write I haven’t the slightest doubt that you agree entirely with my feelings. In the meantime Greece and Italy are at war and because of that I can’t write to you in as much detail as I would like. I’m all the more sorry because you write to me, my darling, that my letters are your greatest pleasure. You can stop worrying about my weight. Since I’ve been following your advice I’m eating more and have already gained some. I’ve consulted a doctor several times recently and he’s quite happy with my lifestyle. Your well-intentioned suggestions to Hella can’t unfortunately be carried out because the others wouldn’t eat the dishes, quite apart from the impossibility of preparing them. I think that it would be very good if I could have my clothes and underwear, as well as my bed and table linen, sent to you. If you can arrange anything (they are at Sebert’s11), then do. If you need authorization, then let me know, so that I can write about it to my lawyer there. Could you use the furniture and the other things? You know what there is, so I don’t need to describe it to you.
I thank you very much for the news about Gallus. I understand you very well when you write that I seem to have been away from you for decades but what if it were different? I’m always glad when you’ve got good news of our friends. I always got on well with them and always will. Your observations about people are right and were already true when I lived in Karlsbad but take comfort, people are the same the world over and selfishness is highly developed everywhere.
I don’t want you to obey me blindly, and the you that I know and love won’t want to either. I know that I have found in you the best and dearest comrade, which makes me proud and happy.
The civilian population ask me for a lot of advice about the wartime restrictions and I find the day too short. Please don’t be angry if I act according to current restrictions and end this letter and often only send you a card. They’re now demanding that one reduces letters to cards if possible so as not to overburden the inspectors.12
And now, my dearest, have no worries and stay well.
With warmest greetings, Ernst.
Karlín, 15/11/1940
My dear Ernst
After an anxious wait, your letter of 26/10 arrived at last. I see that you had only just received my letter of the 17th. Which merciful censor should I thank for the wonderful chance that the letter arrived? My God, how happy your letter makes me!
Darling, I thank you for your cheering words and if God grants us life and health we will see each other again as soon as it is possible. My memory of life with Emmerl13 is so beautiful that my dearest wish was for a continuation of such happiness, so when then, quite unexpectedly, I recognized that I loved you dearly, how could I hide it from you? The thought that there, far away, a warm heart was beating for me was just too beautiful.
I hope confidently for an early reunion. One of the two of us will risk the big journey just as soon as we may. Nobody will be able to stop me, I know that now, let alone will anyone dare to try to influence me. Those times are over and I’m determined to build our future happiness with a sure hand.
Three days ago your brother Emil was here for lunch. A while ago I invited him to come and eat with me. Recently he just invited himself. I thought that was delightful, so natural and sweet, and I was so happy to see him. And just guess what we talked about most of all? Weren’t your ears burning? I read him bits from your letters and he just shook his head over your good style. Then he showed me pictures of you and I let him give me one, and now it’s my companion. Emil looks well, has very sensible views and accepts his fate.14 Apparently his people are well, both here and over there, and he just has to be content with that.
A month ago I was given notice for my flat because I am a German [-speaking] Jew and the owner would prefer someone Czech. That is a very hard blow for me because I’m no longer allowed to take a flat on my own. According to the present regulations I have to take a room with someone else.15 That is hard and painful for me, as if the ground had been cut from under my feet. So from 15 January 1941 I will have a room, with my furniture, at the Lípas’,16 but I think of it with dread. Granted it’s better to be a lodger with my own people than with strangers, because they would also have to take other strangers. I was so upset about this that I became ill, but I’m quite better now, and as I lost some weight I feel much healthier and livelier than before. But now that I have the certainty that one day we will belong to each other entirely, this question of accommodation worries me less. What do I care when I think of you!
Ernstili, the times are serious and hard, and that is why I am writing especially openly, though rather embarrassed, in front of my friend Eman.17 However, I’m doing it because I think that, particularly now, one shouldn’t be too secretive with one’s feelings, so that in this way one can find enough endurance and morale to get through these anxious times and it is satisfying to know that at least in this way I can say how much I love you. I could say a lot to you but I don’t want to annoy the censor too much, so I’ll stop.
Greet your loved ones. I send you a dozen sweet kisses. I hug you warmly in my heart.
Your Mitzi.
Karlín, Sunday, 17/11/1940
Dearest Ernst
I have had a very busy day, with numerous guests, a lot of work, but also much pleasure. It was a family get-together, at my place this time, and other good friends invited themselves round for a little chat. Now I am alone again, but no, not alone, now comes the most beautiful moment of the day. In front of me is your picture, which otherwise I carry about with me, and now it is time to chat with you. There you are, sitting near to me. I look at your hands, then I answer some of the things in your letter of 26/10 which I didn’t deal with yesterday. So you want to protect me from disappointment? And you remind me of your reserved nature. I know you, Ernstili, and am quite aware of it. I also know that I am a little excitable and that I should be a little calmer – well perhaps that may yet happen. I got to know you thoroughly on several occasions and have never forgotten the lovely time we had when we travelled together to Leipzig. Nor the sad moment when they carried Emmerl away and you didn’t let them stop me from going with him. You were the only one who understood my mind and knew that to be there was the right thing and what I wanted. Oh Ernstili, I felt no other person in the world knows and understands me as well as Ernst Löwy does.
Even as a child I was only drawn by kindness. That’s why I was so attracted to Emmerl and gave myself to him totally, because I loved his honourable and kind nature so much. I would never have been capable of going behind his back, his boundless trust deserved my total commitment, it moved me, and I did everything to deserve it. Yes, if it had been different, if he had behaved in a nasty, unkind way, I would have become stubborn and rebellious. One can get anywhere with me through kindness.
And now I would like to deal with something else: you have good reason to mention you fear that I might let myself be influenced. Ernstili, you don’t think that I still live in the same conditions as when I lived in Karlsbad? My love, much has changed since then, both the people and the times. Today, everyone is preoccupied above all with his own affairs, people are far less interested in each other than they used to be, everybody’s head is too full. And what about me? I have paid a heavy price for what I have learnt in my widowhood, but in my thinking and in the way I deal with life I have become very emancipated and independent, almost recklessly so. I don’t let anyone tell me what to do, above all not now when on occasion my sister and brother-in-law show kindnesses towards me. That is exactly why not now, because the price to be paid for having life made easier for me is that my freedom to think and act for myself is taken from me. That is a price that no attentions can be worth.
And as for our relationship, Irene knows that we are in correspondence, and so does Mutti.18 They also know, because I told them, that we love each other, that our greatest aim is to be united. Mutti is delighted but Irene is hurt that I do not ask for help and don’t tell her anything more, that I keep everything secret and don’t show her any letters, in a word, that I am not taking her into my confidence enough. But I think that she is pleased too because she and her husband have always liked you.
So have no fears about me. But I need the same reassurance about you. I have such a foreboding that somebody, either there or perhaps here, might some time whisper suspicions. That is why you must also make a promise: that you will only think and believe of me what my person itself presents to you. The unpleasant vexations of that time19 would not have got so out of hand if my mother and sister hadn’t, quite against my wishes, got themselves involved. That was still possible at that time. I was so crushed by sorrow that I hardly knew what people were doing. I certainly didn’t want this nasty behaviour, this gossip in the town. Unfortunately, that is how my mother behaved in other cases too and then there were always the most horrible consequences. But because I was her child and loved her I was always weak and never managed to criticize her way of doing things.
Now my mother is an old lady, nearly 80 years old. She loves you as she always has, has never been angry with you, and rightly so, and neither has Irene. On the contrary, it is thanks to my mother that we found each other. It was your wish that Emil should inform me of poor Thesa’s passing. Mutti spoke once with Emil and heard that I was to be told. She brought me your address and said ‘So there you are, now you can write to Ernst. I think he deserves it from you and your husband.’ My good one, I hope you are not angry that I am telling you this today in such detail, but it has to be done in order to be fair. I don’t really know what reason you have or had to be so mistrustful. I think you must mean Mutti and Irene – there must have been an awful lot of gossip at the time about which I am probably the one who knows least. I will still always strive to bring peace and harmony between those who are dear and precious to me but I will never require you, if it is not your wish, to enter into any closer relationship: we two, however, must always be in agreement in front of others.
More times in my life than I can recall, my mother and sister have shown me loyalty and self-sacrifice; I must acknowledge that, whatever their failings. I would really have no right to judge too harshly, that would be wrong of me. Therefore I will try very hard never to disappoint them in my love for them, and I hope that in the end, for my sake, you too will not find it too great a sacrifice to make it up with them. I leave the decision to you. Once again I say, first and foremost, we are for each other, only then for others, and only when we are agreed in our views do we take those of others into account. You are going to say that the unnatural mother says nothing about her children. Well, I know you always loved each other a lot, there was harmony from the beginning. I am almost certain that they will not come back to their homeland but find one in a far off land. They will put down roots somewhere, it seems. And I will absolutely not influence them because I have no right to do so. You know that I was always a good mother and will be so again, but they don’t need me any more. I will never be able to mean much to them any more, but God has not forsaken me; he has given me your love!
Now I want to answer a point you make. You write that you hope you will be able to pay [your children] back everything, that is, the expense you are causing now. Well of course, Ernstili, you will. You are still young and as a man you will be able to work hard and achieve things. Just wait! You will sweat. Just think how much there will be to rebuild after the war. There will be an enormous amount of work everywhere, just for you and your profession. Then it will be easy for you to pay back that little bit, so don’t worry. Just take it easy and wait calmly until your time comes.
Finally, I just want to say that I am using the opportunity to write in such detail while it is still allowed. I wrote the first three sheets fourteen days ago and then we heard that communications were interrupted. I have just enquired at the main post office and learnt that communications are still functioning so I am posting this letter to you today, 29 November, and send it trusting to luck. I would like it very much if you could send me a card twice a week – you will understand that one worries.
And now keep well, my good one. Loving hugs and kisses from
Your Mitzi.
Karlín, 26/11/1940
My dear Ernst
That was a glad and happy moment when I held your letter of the 13th in my hands. Thank God for the good news.
Today I can give you some good news about me too. First, after the success of my publicity, I now have some students, male and female, who are working with great enthusiasm and I am delighted with their success and mine.20 People are paying me all sorts of compliments about the excellence and quality of my teaching and I am very happy and so are the rest of my family. I also had the satisfaction that what was left of our previous [EBE]21 production is highly sought after and its outstanding quality is most highly praised in those circles where once I struggled without success. Were it permitted, I would now have a wide market here. That isn’t possible but the public recognition makes me feel it would be possible, if it were necessary, to succeed somewhere else.22
The second and actually more important point is that I can’t actually move out of the flat on 15 January because the landlady has no right to give me notice, as I am obliged to remain in the flat since no other is being offered to me. I told her that and hope that now I will be allowed to keep my beloved nest, where I am so happy, a while longer.
Write to me regularly as long as you are able, and if my dear Eman has discovered his kind heart, which will be full of sympathy, I am quite certain he will surely do all that is possible. I can be much warmer in my letters to you in front of him, because as I remember him from my youth, he will understand how it is. We were the same age and grew up together. He was always very cheerful and full of fun and although he has been gone for 38 years he is still a faithful, dependable cousin and friend.
Many greetings to all the Cougnos23 from me, keep well, cheerful and content. I hug you in my imagination and send you a dozen kisses and am
Your Mitzi.
Karlín, 7/12/1940
My beloved Ernst
I am settling down this Saturday evening, the one evening when I have enough time and inspiration to chat with you, which is my best relaxation. Today I am particularly longing for you and I really don’t know how I will put up with that for any length of time. I am at a loss for an answer.
This afternoon I was invited to some friends. It was very lively and cosy. Times have changed so much and people too. It amuses me very much to see men I know doing the housework so well, things like clearing the table; it is terribly funny, but suits the times if they help their wives with the housework and shopping in their ample free time.24 I went home at seven o’clock. When I see the many couples, everyone together, and me struggling along on my own, when I can so well picture you by my side, indeed when I cannot imagine any future other than with you, then something nasty takes hold of me that I never knew before. And you know, my darling, what that is: huge jealousy of all those who are in couples, laughing and joking, and then I have my work cut out to suppress those tormenting thoughts. I have never felt jealousy in my life, but now I’m actually experiencing its reality.
From now on I will write to you twice a week. If you can, do the same; one definitely has to expect things to go astray here and there. It is wartime and one has to be grateful that some things get through. Please send me the address for a possible intermediary again, one never knows when one might need it.
Today I had a real meal, the sort you like, crackling and liver, etc. Oh how I thought of you and the times we ate things like that together and all sorts of teasing went on. Actually I sometimes got really cross with you because I often didn’t know whether it was serious or a joke. I can see before me the look of irony on your face, your mouth would take a particular shape, something would come out that made me prick up my ears, that was meant for me in some way. Yes, what happened to those times?
Today I bought two primulas in flower because now, in the winter, none of my houseplants are in bloom. I imagine that they come from you and they make me very happy. It is an extravagance, I know, but these are the cheapest and people must have some pleasure. I will be told off, but that doesn’t matter much to me. In my sitting room I have a large modern window with lovely foliage plants and now my flowering plants among them. They make me very happy and when I come home they are what I see first. In front of this window stands my desk with various photos of my loved ones and now you are ranged among them. But that is still too little, I want to have you with me completely.
After being with my people almost the whole day long,25 I am alone again. And that is good because that is when I’m happiest. I can converse with you in my mind; the atmosphere at their place is, unfortunately, mostly tense and uncomfortable. They get very worked up about things that don’t worry me. I have left all that behind long ago, but they still have to experience it and deal with it.
I have re-read my chat with you from yesterday and think today that it isn’t quite right but I’m not going to change anything. Please don’t take anything amiss, it was just a passing mood I was in. I think I once wrote to you that Uncle Paul,26 with his wife, brother-in-law and mother-in-law emigrated to São Paulo, Brazil, from Paris via Portugal. In the summer he lost a lovely, promising child, a girl of thirteen. They left in deepest sadness. Now I have had a letter saying that it is so beautiful there and, although he has no work as yet, he has some very good friends, a brother-in-law in New York, and Oskar in Milwaukee, where Paul’s son is too. Obviously it takes a time in a foreign country before one gets used to it but it makes one glad to get news which is even half-way good. Paul is pursuing the hobby which was his favourite as a boy – catching butterflies. That reminds me, too, of my childhood and youth because I was only half a year younger than Paul and in the holidays we would from time to time go hunting for butterflies in the Udritscher forest27 – that is, we would look for caterpillars, which I did not like. He collected them in matchboxes and I had to carry them. I always wanted to know if they were still alive and looked inside. Mostly they lost their heads then, and then there was trouble!
Max28 is in correspondence with Mutti and I usually add a few lines. He is separated, his two lovely children visit him from time to time, but only briefly. He seems to feel very alone. A while ago he asked me for my opinion on whether it would be a good idea to come here. Until now I couldn’t decide how to reply to such an important question, but now I have written that it would certainly be better to stay in his warm nest as his sisters are hardly in a position to offer him the peace and comfort he is looking for, because today everyone has enough worries of their own. It is surely better that he stays where he is.
Dear Ernst, give all your loved ones my greetings. Keep well, be healthy, cheerful and happy.
Love, Mitzi
Karlín, 9/12/1940
My dear Ernst
At the word ‘my’ there comes a warm feeling in my heart and I think: really mine, yes, really mine. What a wonderful thought! Today began so beautifully. Very early I got ready to take a letter to you to the post, but instinctively I knew that there would be news from you. And there was. And now in the evening, after the day’s work,29 I am sitting here again and writing to you.
Ernstili, you ask whether we will see each other again. Yes, of course! How could I bear life if I didn’t have that hope? And it won’t be so very long. I want to be together with you by spring, at the latest. That is my greatest wish, dearest. Some day mankind will make friends again, every war has an end, so this one too will end one day, and then, and then? Then there will be a wieder-wiedersehen! It doesn’t matter where it is, I don’t care at all. I won’t be afraid anywhere in the world if you are with me.
I am glad that so far you are happy in your country; that pleases and comforts me. May God continue to protect you all. I pray fervently every day for you and for my ‘friends’. When I open my eyes in the morning the first thing I see is your photos, my first words are to ask God to protect you and them.
You mustn’t write anything to me which could lead to the letter being confiscated. I don’t want to know anything except things about you, about what you are doing, about yourself, that is enough for me. And then about your loved ones, Hella and the family. Otherwise, nothing else interests me at the moment. I am also writing only personal things, as you see, because I dearly hope that in this way I will not annoy the censor.
And now, my darling, I am going to sleep, to dream about you as I usually do, so good night! Greetings to Hella and everyone.
I hold you close in my mind, send a dozen sweetest kisses and remain
Your Mitzi.
PS What does dear Hella think when there are so many letters from me?
Karlín, Saturday, 14/12/1940
My beloved Ernst
There is no doubt that fate has destined us, after so many hard trials, to enjoy the most wonderful happiness which is normally only reserved for the young. How could we refuse to recognise this? Thank God there is still time left for us. You believe, Ernstili, that our mutual attraction had existed for a long time. Well, my darling, I would have to go back a long way. I can’t do that in a letter but you know a lot of things better than I do. In many things I am simple or stupid. I will only say today that it was a severe trial for me when I had to forgo your friendship. It was hard and bitter to bear and I suffered unspeakably, but I deliberately avoided any situation which might have caused trouble. I still think about our Leipzig journey – how beautiful it was!
It has not yet been decided about the flat but I will probably have to move out. That is a whole chapter and it makes me sad. I am going to do my best to please my lords and masters and I hope I will succeed.
Continued on Sunday 15th
Just think, we have 13 degrees of frost here. That’s pretty cold! Can you still imagine it? I was out from 9 in the morning because the little daughter of an acquaintance is leaving in the next few days with the Youth Emigration Group to Palestine.30 She came to the Lípas to say goodbye. Partings like that are like funerals and I felt very upset too. Of course there were other parents present, two couples whose children are there already. In the afternoon we were with friends to play bridge and I laughed a lot because one lady was so funny and original. You know how heartily I can laugh – I haven’t forgotten how, thank goodness! It was really enjoyable. But they are all complaining that, according to them, I am so absent-minded. What can be to blame for that? Have you any idea what the cause is? Yes or no? But don’t get big-headed (as you say!)
If you should write to the ‘friends’ in Chicago, I have no objections either, if you think it is right (and only then) to prepare them about us. They will be very glad, I think.
Ernstili, I am not at all worried about our future prosperity. It is as you said: we will manage. I have total confidence in you and besides, I will be there when you need me and, in any case, in your work too I will always be your comrade. Perhaps as your typist if you pay me well and behave yourself. What do you think? In the long run I would like to live a simple, quiet life because everything will be very different, since people have learnt that a lot is superfluous and that a simple life is actually in many ways much more attractive and comfortable.
And now, in my imagination, I am standing on tiptoe, I pull your head down towards mine, kiss your forehead, your eyes, your cheeks and then your mouth, and then all of them again. That is exactly one dozen kisses. Good night then. I will have beautiful dreams about you. Greetings, please, to all your loved ones.
With tender love, your Mitzi
Comment from the censor: ‘Please keep it brief!’
Karlín, 19/12/1940
My beloved Ernst
So that you shouldn’t worry, I am answering your letter of 7/12 immediately. I am relieved that you are to become a member of my family.31 I think the way you intend to do it is the right one. I can accept your attitude towards Mutti and understand you. That is why I will do what you wish and never refer to this subject again or attempt to bring about a deeper relationship between the two of you. Besides, Mutti told me ‘I will be content if you are happy; I don’t demand any personal relationship.’
I don’t really want to discuss the matter further now, but I must tell you one thing: my mother and sister have indeed always been very good to me, and here in Prague too, but for a long time I have been living in a different world from them. The relationship we used to have disappeared a long time ago. The fact is that very few people have adjusted to this troubled time. Since the children left I have been quite alone mentally. I sometimes feel hurt by my family’s behaviour and no longer feel that they have a real understanding of people and things. On the whole the times have proved me right, so that I continue to have confidence in myself. Now I have found in you a friend and loved one who, despite hard times, expresses kindness and love and respect for humankind, such as I would expect from those to whom I can show my heart and who understand and sympathize with me.
I am very glad to hear that Thesa thought well of me and I can say that I always meant well, honestly and sincerely by her. I believed I understood her and never had any intention of hurting her. I have long ago made my peace with her in my mind. I do know that you were the best and most decent husband. How could I ever have judged you as anything else?
Recently I had a beautiful dream which I want to tell you about. It was dusk, we were sitting in a cosy corner when there was a sudden rustling; a little apparition flew up to us, sat down at our side, it was little Cupid himself! He spoke to us and we said to him with one voice, ‘We wanted to thank you, good one.’ He answered ‘Yes, dear children, but that’s not enough for me, that is why I have come, because I want proof of your gratitude.’ ‘And what should that be?’ we replied. ‘Well listen,’ he went on, ‘each of you has left behind here and there, in different places, objects and knick-knacks which you loved dearly but which you won’t be able to use for years and I gave these things away to others among my charges so as to complete their happiness. In payment for your gratitude I wish you to assure me that you won’t complain to anyone of this, won’t make any criticism either spoken or written, nor will you blame anyone; in short, that you will accept the situation without grumbling and not tell your families and friends a word about it! You must know that I granted you a special blessing and have found you worthy of enjoying exceptional happiness, so now you must decide for yourselves.’ For a while we looked at each other and then you said ‘Good, it will be as you wish’ and I said ‘If that’s what you want, I am willing.’ Then Cupid lifted his little wings high and was gone. I woke up and thought to myself that it was a beautiful dream; it could even happen in reality. How do you like it?
Dear one, I know the time is coming which reminds you of very sad days.32 My feelings and thoughts are with you, but please, and this time for love of me, take care of your health, keep yourself well for me, I beg you. In a few days it will be Christmas.33 I always had very lovely memories of it. This time I will be thinking a lot about you, will write to you and look forward more eagerly than ever to the time when we will be living together.
A happy new year, full of good cheer! Let’s drink to our health together. And now the most heartfelt hug and love without end.
Mitzi.
Karlín, 24/12/1940
My dear Ernst
There was no news from you this week and that doesn’t please me at all, but that’s how it is. It may also be that my news to you does not arrive, not through my fault but because of your specific wish that it should be sent by ordinary post.
How will you spend the festive season? If you can, tell me what you did. I’ll spend one day at the Lípas’ but this evening I am staying at home, against their wishes, but I prefer it so. I have also been invited to a tea party on the second day of Christmas. At the moment there is a hard frost, real Christmas weather. There is snow as well and we need better heating in the apartments.
I hope you received my letter of the 19th and will have understood from it that your possessions which were at Sebert’s were sold a year ago. I hope this news doesn’t surprise you because it has happened everywhere as all the flats and warehouses had to be cleared. A large part of my possessions was also cleared in this way. I am not thinking about it any more because what I have here is enough for me and I wouldn’t have had room for any more. In the final analysis, we have both lost far more important things including our dearest ones, so don’t be upset and don’t think about it.
The ‘friends’ sent us greetings again and told us that the men got a pay increase and that things are going well for them in Chicago, so one has to be happy about that, at least it’s a little ray of hope for the festive days.
This time I am being brief so that the letter is passed to you by the censor more easily. May you and all your loved ones stay healthy and cheerful, happy and content. Keep well, dear Ernst, think a little about me, then our thoughts will cross. I hug you warmly and send you a dozen sweet kisses. Greetings to the Cougnos.
Your Mitzi.
Karlín, 28/12/1940
My dear Ernst
Your letter of 7/12 was the last news from you up till now. Please, Ernst, if, God forbid, you are ill, ask Hella to write me a few lines. It is too much of a torment to be completely without news of you, when up to now you wrote to me so regularly. Or are you annoyed or angry with me about something? You would tell me, I hope.
The Christmas holiday is over. I know you had the anniversary of poor Thesa’s death and it was surely terribly sad in the house. My thoughts were with you a lot, but also with her. I recalled more vividly than before many little incidents when we were all together. I see her before me as if it were yesterday, how she loved eating breaded lamb cutlets and how you always warned about moderation and a suitable diet. She told me various things about Jurgo the dog, how he loved to hop into bed with her but that Ernst mustn’t see it because he didn’t like it, and how she laughed when Jurgo drank all the milk in our sitting room.34 She could laugh till she cried about this heroic deed, and when you angrily prepared to punish him and we had difficulty calming you down. What a drama that was! And it was all so harmless.
How different it is today. I also had our dog Harry here, the one I bought for Greterl at her request when she came home from the sanatorium. I was just glad that she wanted something again. Harry was a lovely animal but very wild and impetuous. When we were here in Prague and he was still in Karlsbad, she begged until I gave in and let the dog come. Greterl had a great deal of pleasure from him here and so did I, but for me he was also a great trial, particularly after Greterl left. He had very little freedom here and it was awkward for me to walk about all the time with that big animal, while my family were always complaining about him. On the other hand, I was very attached to him as I was quite alone, but it was no use, I had to give Harry away; which was very hard for me. But it is marvellous for him, as he is wonderfully cared for.
What happened to Jurgo? When I met Thesa here in Prague, shortly before you left, I innocently asked her about him and the poor thing burst into tears and we both got upset. We said goodbye, it was the last time and for ever.
The ‘friends’ are now remembering me more often. Yesterday the friend35 of the older one sent a telegram at her request with greetings and new year wishes from her and news of their welfare. Isn’t that nice of her? It’s as if she had guessed that just at this moment I have a lot of worries and need a little joy to help me bear this period more easily.
Today we had a family get-together at Edith’s parents-in-law.36 The father is pining for the children and also has all sorts of unnecessary worries. He has a very sensitive nature and is also constantly unwell, which makes me very sorry. The children are not to know that. The only thing which could make him better would be to see them again. Be glad, dear Ernstili, that you were at least spared this anxiety which gnaws at a person’s vitals.
Monday a.m., 30/12. I left the letter until this morning and was hoping for news, but unfortunately in vain. Keep well, my love. As long as you’re in good health. Warmest hugs and kisses. Greet all your loved ones.
Your Mitzi
Photo 3 Marie’s daughter Grete with her dog Harry, 1939.
My beloved Ernstili
The arrival of your longed-for letter of 14/12 today, the very last day of the year, put me in a very happy, confident mood for the coming year. Can you understand that, my dear? It is New Year’s Eve, our town is thickly blanketed in fresh snow. Although I was invited to spend the evening and stay the night at the Lípas’, I preferred to stay at home so as to be able to be with you in my thoughts.
I was very worried about you because of the long break but the contents of your letter made me very happy. I agree with you completely that we should only speak of personal matters in our letters, that is fine with me. But then, now and again, when I re-read my letters, I am a little embarrassed because they talk of almost nothing of substance and I wonder what this serious man will think of me, the whole letter being such a lot of nonsense. Then I shake my head and laugh at myself. This is how it is with me: I write exactly as if I were talking to you, without thinking about what I want to write, a letter like that is meant to replace a conversation or a cosy little chat. That’s why there’s all that nonsense, you see?
I am sure, dear Ernst, that in our future life together we will often argue and discuss. It won’t always go smoothly. I know how you are, but I am not afraid of you any more, as I once was. I didn’t always understand you and was sometimes embarrassed and confused (which may happen again) when I saw you on the point of pulling that ironic mouth. Then I knew I should watch out, something was coming again. I never really trusted myself to answer because I didn’t want to arouse any suspicion and so I usually stayed in the background. But you can look forward to later on, my little friend. I have got my own weapons and then you won’t be able to laugh. We won’t fight in anger, won’t want to, but in battles of the intellect I will give way, because you are the cleverer one. In the battle of love I am almost afraid when I hear of your lust for battle, but he who dares wins. Let’s wait and see what happens. You may well be right that I am not always the easiest partner because I fight back, but it is usually you who starts it.
You mustn’t have any inhibitions. Why should you? You see, I have already got to contradict you. Because I do not on principle regret what I once did – that’s out of the question. It may well be, as you believe, that there was nothing we should have done differently in the actual situation. Our mutual attraction had existed for a long time, each of us knew our duty, each had enough self-control to contain his feelings. When they told me that you were missing my condolences, every feeling of bitterness vanished. I wrote to you immediately with an overflowing heart and without reserve, without realizing myself how glad I was to write to you. So it was indeed you who made the opening move, but then it was I who straightaway grasped the outstretched hand. Your letters then gave me pleasure. I wrote that to you, but I still didn’t suspect, didn’t admit to myself, just how dear those letters were to me. It was again you who at certain moments showed me the way back to life. There were two or three letters where again and again I came across something which made me sit up and listen. I had to think it over and then say to myself ‘He is right, in fact. I will take it to heart.’ Do you remember, Ernstili, when you wrote to me that life belongs to the living, memory to the dead? From that day on I found my way back to life – that is to say, you led me back. Then came a letter which admitted great anxiety because my letters were not getting to you. That’s when I knew for the first time that everything was clear between us.
I was wondering whether the frequent letters weren’t making things awkward for you with Hella. A pity that you can’t talk about it with her but that’s how it is. You are both made of the same stuff and similar characters find it hard to agree. That can’t be changed. But, darling, when we are together again there will be so much talking, just wait! Then you will be able to tell me everything to your heart’s content. And if you don’t, I will do so anyway and then your heart will open up, I know for certain. And I can be silent too; if you all think I can’t manage it, that isn’t true.
You ask me if I wasn’t sometimes unhappy in our marriage. How should I answer you? If my situation had been different, I could no doubt have developed quite differently. Much was hard for me in our early marriage, it wasn’t an easy life that I led, but Emmerl’s great kindness of heart, his boundless love and his good character helped me over many difficult periods. My attraction to you dates from my earliest youth. Emmerl sensed this once and warned me straightaway. That is why sometimes I deliberately moved away from you when you made a joke – did you ever notice that?
Dearest, I could still write for hours to you but I am at the end of the sheet of paper so I am off to bed. Keep well, now I hold you close, hug you in my heart and send you a dozen kisses. Many greetings to all the Cougnos.
Lovingly, your Mitzi.
On the same date as the last letter, Ernst wrote the following to Marie’s daughters in Sheffield:
Thessaloniki, 31/12/1940
Dear Gretl and Edith
Your mother wrote to me that she thinks this postcard will reach you at this address. She is always glad to hear from you. Perhaps it will be quicker to write to her via me, and if that isn’t possible, let her hear from you now and again. I hope you are both well. I am in regular correspondence with Mitzi. It’s giving both of us a great deal of happiness. She’s just worried about you and also about her flat. She would then have to move in with the Lípas. I hope that we will all meet again one day. The English are doing well at the moment and better every day. Well done them! Very best wishes from the Cougnos and especially from me. Yours, Ernst Löwy
Karlín, 4/1/1941
My beloved Ernstili
Today I was hoping to have some news from you but there was nothing. The present snowy weather may be hindering traffic and the post. We have mountains of snow by the sides of the roads here and anyone who doesn’t have to go out, doesn’t. Since yesterday I know for certain that I can keep my flat, indeed must keep it, and that the owner cannot demand that I move out because she has absolutely no right to dispose of it and that I may only move out with the permission of the Kultusgemeinde,37 but they do not allow it. The owner did not reply at all to my letters, she served me legal notice to quit and kept me on tenterhooks. I was already resigned to my fate and was getting used to the idea that, if I had to, it would be better to share a room with my mother at Irene’s rather than be a lodger with a strange person among strangers, but it would certainly have affected my nerves badly. Finally I remembered a young friend to whom I hadn’t spoken for over a year. I knew that he would be able to give me exact information before I paid the rent for the next quarter. I wrote him a few lines and hey presto! in a few hours he was at my place, a real knight, thoughtful and kind. He explained everything in detail and, as he is also an authority on these matters, I am at peace at last, and the four families in the house too. Now I can breathe again.
How marvellous it is when one is in trouble and realizes that there are still really good friends, true, unselfish, decent people. Already here in Prague people who owed me nothing at all have shown me true friendship. I feel uplifted and honoured. I want to learn from it and if I should ever again be in a position to help others or advise them I will do it willingly.
Monday 6/1,
Ernstili, you didn’t take me quite seriously when I said we would meet in the spring. The time when we meet again will be our spring, even if it happens in June, and in any case, my energy, which is a bit low at present, won’t be able to manage anything before then, so we must just grit our teeth and wait. If only it depended on me!
When I think back to the World War with all the problems and burdens which that time brought me, it too came to an end. I was just 28 when the war began and it immediately laid on me great burdens, anxieties and physical hardships. My one comfort and the constant refrain of my hopes and plans was the phrase ‘when the war is over’. And finally it happened and then came times which, at least in part, fulfilled my hopes and expectations. We two are not yet so old that we have to give up hoping – I certainly don’t feel like that. And your letters are also so sweetly full of anticipation and cheerfulness. That makes me as happy as a child.
What do you think of this long letter? And the Herr Censor! May he forgive me this once. Next time I will be more modest.
Keep well, dear Ernst. I hug you closely,
Your Mitzi
Karlín, 9/1/1941
My dear Ernst
Here I sit again today and imagine that you are here now. The idea becomes so real to me and then the writing starts. I have then a secret, cosy, peaceful and calming feeling enveloping us both. I see you sitting here, smoking and reading, all worrying thoughts having vanished from your face; we have forgotten all the hideous ugly things we have experienced, forgotten everything around; there is always something to tell, to discuss; everything is as if it has always been so. It is a wonderful method for me, Ernstili. But soon I will try sending a card. Sometimes I worry that my numerous long letters may in the end give you problems and I don’t want to make things awkward for you in any way.
I am very glad that it is no longer so cold for you. Here it is deepest winter with a great deal of snow. On 24 December I had very vivid thoughts, as I told you. I think too that Thesa would have no objections if she knew that we had found each other. As for me, a year ago I suspected nothing, was interested in no-one, wanted to remain alone for ever and curtly rejected every overture. So it must be fate, it had to happen. Don’t reproach yourself with anything, you have not chained me to you – I feel equally responsible.
From yesterday I am officially a resident of Prague.38 I have been struggling for it for a long time and am very glad to have something sorted again. The ‘friends’ sent us greetings, they are very good and I am very happy about them. With time one becomes very undemanding. You can imagine how I feel about them sometimes, how frightened I am for them and how I have to fight to keep my longing under control. Who would ever have thought it? Oh God! I could sometimes scream for pain, but then I think ‘Can I be ungrateful?’ When I have you, then I will accept things quietly.
I think that on the whole people [here] have changed little. Those who were kind and good still are and those who before were angry and useless have remained so. As for me, I have become indifferent to much. I have changed a lot in many ways, particularly my idea of possessions and money, etc. has changed enormously. I think that one lives more peacefully with few possessions, and with less worry. Nevertheless, I have plenty of understanding and sympathy for others. So many sad experiences have cleansed me or educated me, but not, heaven forbid, embittered me. I remain cheerful and confident, because I know for sure that the dear good God will not forsake me. What happened to us raises me above the everyday and so I hope we will soon have a joyful wieder-wiedersehen!
And now good night, sweet one. A dozen kisses, a very loving hug.
Your Mitzi.
Karlín, 14/1/1941
My dear Ernst
Your letter of the 2nd came today. As always the contents gave me great joy. The instruction ‘Keep it brief’ was meant for me, not you, and I must finally control myself and start to write less.
The difference in our ages shouldn’t really pose a difficulty for us, the years are taking care of that and can’t be denied. For me you will be right just as you are. I only wish that you could recover some of your happy, contented nature. I simply cannot believe that there is never an occasion to laugh in your circle. There are nothing but young people around you and in any case your existence, as I imagine it, is not too difficult. For me it is a different matter, brought about by my situation. Probably the many trials have drained me or made me indifferent. I became quite fatalistic and am often envied for remaining on the whole so calm when other people get so upset. My life at present isn’t particularly rosy but I don’t admit it. It is only a waiting period and I want to spend it as well as possible, preserving myself for the coming, more lovely time with you. And in making this effort I help myself get over a lot. If I find myself in merry company I can be very jolly with them. It does one so much good and one forgets for a time one’s various worries. So, Ernstili, don’t just smile, try laughing heartily sometimes, grow young again with your grandchildren and have as much fun as you want with them.
I will tell you about my flat in my next letter. I’ve had to fight hard again to keep it, whether with permanent success I can’t tell you today.
The main thing for me is that my new pupils are capable, that I make progress and have success. That spurs me on and most important of all is that I keep on getting news from you.
And now, my dear one, I hug you most lovingly and am
Your Mitzi
Karlín, 17/l/1941
My dear Ernst
Your letter of the 5/6 made me endlessly happy. In it, my dear, you are particularly sweet and lovely and if you were here now and as loving as you are in your letter, you would be amazed at what I would do to thank you, with a woman’s nicest kind of gentleness and kindness. Just think of an older Edithel. She is, after all, my child and once I was just as gentle and soft, so I want to caress you and embrace you as lovingly as Edith to show you how I thank you. I think your ideas and plans are enchanting and I know, too, how serious you are about them. In the meantime I would just be glad if we could see each other, wherever it was. But we must be patient. So listen, dear one, I’ll make a suggestion: we will roam through the world as wanderers the whole year long, for almost no trouble or deprivation is too great a price. But we would have to choose countries where one can always make short walks because I am no long distance hiker and I wouldn’t be able to keep up with you.
You guessed right about my dream. I just wanted to give the unpleasant news about Sebert gently. It annoyed me a lot that I had to tell you it. Thank you very much for not seeing it as a tragedy, just like me. I’m so glad.
I will stop now, but I will just tell you that the matter of the flat has been settled in our favour, so we are staying here, thank God!
My sweet one, I hug you closely,
Your Mitzi.
Karlín, 20/1/1941
My dear Ernst
Another Sunday evening where I am using my free time to have a chat with you. When I look at your letters and mine I can see your intellectual superiority because you say everything in a few words, while I write a lot and there is nothing in it. If I wanted to, I could do it a bit differently but I’m not going to because I enjoy just chatting with you. I want to come back to the second paragraph in your letter of the 5/6. I need to think a lot about how it came about that we have hardly spoken to each other for five years. I can only understand it as you explain it that our mutual inclination was dormant in us from early youth, that’s why the feeling of belonging to each other revealed itself so completely.
In my thoughts I have grown so accustomed to living with you that, whatever I do, I weigh up what you would say about it, asking for your advice, as it were. When I work I imagine that you might come in through the door and I go to greet you. When I walk in the street it is always with you. Even when I’m in company my thoughts keep slipping back to you and sometimes it is difficult to hide the smile which slips over my face. If people noticed it they would think I wasn’t normal. When I wake up in the morning I imagine quite distinctly that you are near me and the knowledge that you are certainly thinking of me as well brings me calm and a joyful start to the day’s work.
Continued on 21/1
The first two days of the week brought no news from you, perhaps tomorrow? I tore up a card that I wrote to you. I don’t know, I just can’t do cards. I have nothing to put in them.
Today I had a really good laugh with my small circle of friends. We were exchanging memories of earlier times and various stories were told. At last I saw my brother-in-law [Gustav Lípa] looking lively again – otherwise he has become very silent, very withdrawn – and I could hardly stop laughing.
Gretl’s friend cabled to say that the ‘friends’ are well. That makes you happy, doesn’t it? By the way, I just want to tell you this once how much they always liked you, how they admired, respected and valued you. Did you know that? And if kind fate brought us all together again, which I fear may be unlikely, there would be a lot of love and tenderness around you and I would face strong competition, hard to beat!
Our vast quantity of snow has finally given way to milder weather. The streets and roads of Prague are swimming in water but many hundreds of people are busy clearing things up.39 I am glad the great cold has ended. I hope that for you it is already nice and warm. Is spring coming?
And now I’ll finish, my good one. Good night! I hug you lovingly.
Your Mitzi
Karlín, 25/1/1941
My dear Ernst
Unfortunately I can’t send you the prayer book you want. Don’t be cross, but I am not at all keen on any more praying. That’s why I can’t bring myself to get hold of one. I hope you don’t think I am being unhelpful but there is nothing to be done. In fact, Ernstili, you have been away from us for a long time and sometimes I become conscious of it.
People often ask me now how it is that I look so well, so different from how I looked before, probably much more lively, so you see, people notice that I am happy, my soul is reflected in my face.
Always yours, Mitzi
My dearest,
This week I am again without news from you. I know that you have written but this knowledge can’t still my yearning. Well, perhaps tomorrow. Recently we have had a very hard frost. Almost a month of this year is over and that means we are one month nearer to seeing each other again. I am well and have a lot to do.
The day before yesterday I had a happy surprise. The doorbell rang and there at the door stood my nephew from Brno, Fredy, the son of Emmerl’s sister. I hadn’t seen him for five years, nor his mother, and there was plenty to tell. He has to hand in his emigration application [Emigrationsmappe] here.40 The past came back to me very vividly. Life is at once quite different when there is another person in the house and it is only now that I realize what I am missing all the time. But I thought, what if you had come instead of him?
By the way, before I forget, I am to greet you from the ‘friends’ in Buenos Aires. Today I actually only wanted to write just a card, so I will finish now. I am completely
Your Mitzi
Karlín, Sunday 2/2/1941
My dearest Ernst
Again it is the lovely moment when I can give attention exclusively to you. I have been away from home since three o’clock on Saturday afternoon until this evening. On Saturday afternoon I was at architect Eisler’s for afternoon tea and a game of bridge.41 You probably know the couple; they live in my sister’s building. It was very enjoyable and they’re good company. In the evening my family had a guest, my young friend that I wrote about recently, and I had to be there, at the wish of the others. There too it was cosy and then I couldn’t go back home,42 so I stayed the night as their guest and was spoilt like a child. In the morning I was brought breakfast in bed, the newspaper, everything as it used to be at home on Sundays. Then I felt like having a little cuddle, wanted to slip into Mother’s or Irene’s bed, but a feeling of shyness prevented me. Why? Because I was thinking constantly of you, as I always do in my free time. I said to myself, no, if I can’t snuggle up with you then I won’t do it at all. And postponed is not cancelled. … And then we went out for a lovely walk. There was a wonderful snowy atmosphere, so bitingly fresh and good for one, and in the afternoon we had our reunion with the Karlsbad ladies at Frau Fischer’s. That was very nice too. I didn’t go home till evening but the whole time I was looking forward to this moment alone with you.
Today (Monday) I went to see Karel Struzi43 and talked over everything necessary with him. I also got him to write about Sebert. I have seen everything and am now completely in the picture. You need have no more worries, I will deal with everything. You like order, as I can see, and you haven’t left much work for others to do as you put it in the hands of others in good time.
There was a letter from my cousin Eman in New York. Apparently his daughters and son-in-law44 are doing very well, he is pleased about that and I am also glad when I get good news about relatives and friends.
I hope that tomorrow I will get news from you. It’s high time! I hug you warmly,
Your Mitzi
Photo 4 Wedding photo of Marie’s daughter Edith and Franz Sternschuss, 1938.
Karlín, 11/2/1941
My beloved Ernstili
Today was a lovely day for me. It’s true, I’m in the middle of spring cleaning and last week I had the decorator in for two days and just at this moment, of course, I had some quite unexpected visits so that it was evening before the longed for moment came when I could be quite alone with you. And now it has come.
About my business, well, what should I tell you? It isn’t so easy to give you a proper understanding because a long time has passed since our last talk. I have no substantial fortune so no worries about looking after it. My daily needs are provided for and up to now I have not gone without, and I know that the others would care for me if it were necessary, which is always good to know. Of course, I like self-sufficiency and independence more than anything and up to now, thank goodness, I have been able to maintain them.
Of my actual possessions, the real estate, which represents half of it, brings nothing in, but even without this I live carefree and cheerfully. At the time of my move I brought with me the equipment and everything that goes with it in order to start up my business again here.45 As I didn’t get a licence, I asked for a three-month permit to liquidate the business, which was granted. From the proceeds I have managed to support myself since 1938. Of course, my dear, good sister has helped a lot by giving me all sorts of pleasures, large and small, in my everyday life; her generosity is boundless. And so this is how everything has actually gone very well.
For the relatively high rent for my accommodation I have managed to get a contribution by subletting and in fact, since I have been alone, my needs are not so great. The house and business in Karlsbad are being looked after by a manager whom you will surely know, Herr Walter Pleier.46 The business is, of course, being liquidated after my departure, which means the outstanding debts are being collected and my obligations are being discharged, which I hope has already been done. So I am now relieved of all worries and that suits me fine. I have had my head full enough of business worries my whole life long and I’m delighted that it can have a rest. I now consider myself ‘Mrs Have Nothing’ and feel very well with it.
I am very proud of my certificate of citizenship. It was issued to me with effect from 4 February and now I am no longer a refugee.47
I read your news about the children with great pleasure. It must be so delightful for you to be able to enjoy them. There is hardly anything more lovely than to see sunny, happy young people around you. I love these young people with all my heart.
My sweet, the page is full. Oh dear God, may Herr Censor forgive me!! I send you a warm hug and then a dozen sweet kisses and am completely
Your Mitzi.
Answered on 18 May after the resumption of mail
My beloved Ernstili
I already wrote to you about my work situation. I wouldn’t want to vegetate like this for ever but I hope I will get by like this until the end of the war. Don’t worry, dearest, up till now I have had no problems. I had physical ones when I came here and had a lot of responsibilities and worries, but now that I have to take care only of myself, what problems can I have? And if I am honest – you will hardly be able to believe it – it is only now that I have partly been able to recover because the life I led after Emmerl’s death was one I could hardly have borne for long; it was in every way too stressful and however awful it may sound, it is true that for this reason it was better for me that I was forcibly removed from the many stresses and worries.48 My body has recovered enormously health-wise, my nerves too. I got rid of the rheumatic problems, took care of myself and ‘last not last’ (sic, in English), I completely changed my attitude to life, learnt to have different ideas about society, can laugh and be happy and full of hope, feel neither my years nor all that I have experienced which others find so hard to bear. For me that is over, you know already how I feel about that. And in the immediate future I will certainly not in any way be lacking anything, as far as human requirements go, so you have no reason to worry about me in the way you do. I hope I can feel the same about you, and when we are together, then we will be really rich, even if our pockets are empty, as long as we are healthy and good humoured, have a bit of luck and also some cheerful thoughts.
(unsigned)
Karlín, 16/2/1941
My dearest Ernst
My bridge ladies left two hours ago, everything is back in order and finally the longed for moment has arrived when I can be alone with you. Today I had such awful cards that I was almost annoyed with you. I blamed you and yet I couldn’t help smiling a bit at the same time. In short, it was you again who steered my thoughts in another direction to the extent that now I get no good cards at bridge or am too distracted when I play. So you can see, you bad one, what you are responsible for! Now I can see you laughing, or at least smiling.
I want to go back to your letter of the 25th: I will certainly do everything to look after myself and my health, as far as that is possible these days. First and foremost for this I need inner peace, which I have finally regained, apart from the great longing for you, and of course I am very much afraid for the children but I no longer count on always being near them. Despite these seriously difficult times, for the first time in five years I will greet the coming spring with enthusiasm, just as I used to in happier times. In recent years there was no way in which I could rejoice at nature in her glory, just because the horrible memories of the sad events of spring 193649 soured every joy for me. But now I can rejoice again in this most beautiful season which here in Prague too is a feast for the eyes.
Your feelings about possessions and money are completely in tune with mine. The only ones who should be pitied are those who through their own inabilities have not adapted to the present times, who are not capable of learning or contributing in any field and who are constantly hankering for the past, thus making themselves ridiculous. I would never dream of saying that at home it used to be like this or that. I don’t think like that but accept the facts and concentrate on dealing as best I can with my present situation.
If, up to now, I haven’t asked you about your current financial situation, it is, of course, only so as not to be too intrusive, although I believe I understand it from various remarks of yours. You too should not have any worries, it will get better for you again. I know your feeling of dependence on your child is gnawing at you but that is unfair and one could easily accuse you of being oversensitive. Later, when we are both able to work, we will give back everything to those who are helping us out now, shall we, my love?
Soon spring will be showing signs of arriving here too, and with it, according to my prediction, the time of our reunion should be getting nearer. It’s unlikely to happen then, but one day our spring will come and then what a spring that will be. A real spring, I promise you!
Now I am going to sleep. In my thoughts I fall asleep in your arms. Good night, dear one.
A dozen kisses, tenderly yours,
Mitzi
Karlín, 4/3/1941
My beloved Ernstili
I had been feeling very worried and grown most impatient, when your letter of 12/2 arrived today after a nine-day interruption in the postal service and I thank God you are well and in good humour even if three weeks have passed since you wrote. I only hope the post continues to function, otherwise life would become almost unbearable.
My ‘friends’ haven’t forgotten you at all and when they send me greetings it is clear that their greetings are just as much for you, darling. If I imagine the moment when the two will be able to put their arms around your neck and hug you like a real uncle and father substitute, then my heart already overflows with joy in anticipation of the happiness to come.
I was very amused by your answer about the problem of space;50 it made me laugh heartily. You are a crafty, clever chap! It’s just a pity that I can’t answer as I would like to, since you like sincerity so much: I wanted that answer and am very pleased with it. I will definitely reject the negative solution to the space problem.
Tell me, my sweet, where is your brother Alois? Still where he used to live? A lot of people have gone from there.51
I am well, except when I have no news from you, then I am desperately sad and like a flag at half mast for those around me.
I embrace you most tenderly and send you a dozen of the sweetest kisses.
Your Mitzi.
Karlín, 6/3/1941
My beloved Ernst
So today I was at Dr Struzi’s and can report that the message from Sebert about the sale of your property a year ago was in accordance with the legislation. S. didn’t report anything else. After adjusting the valuation, a payment order will be made, and only then can one establish whether the party has made full settlement in law or not. … …
By chance I met your brother Emil there, who complained that he had no news of you and said that he had written to you. From there he went to Ilse52 who seems to be getting on all right, as is her son. He also told me that your brother Alois wrote: he is in good health and cheerful. The worry I had for him in my last letter is no longer necessary.
Ernstili, do you also realize that we have been writing to each other for over a year? If you had been here the first anniversary would have cost you money, for at least one little flower stem! … …
And now, good night. I will dream beautiful dreams of you. Keep well, be healthy. I embrace you tenderly and kiss you.
Your Mitzi.
Handwritten footnote: ‘Another warning from the censor. Keep it short!’
My beloved Ernstili
I received your letter of the 18th today and every letter which still arrives is a gift for me, because I am in a constant state of anxiety.53 … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … …
If I tell you that there was no other way out for me you will find that incomprehensible. Well, Ernstili, it would need a fuller explanation which I will keep for when we are together. You will be amazed at what I experienced while I pretended to be so energetic, far too much for an ordinary person, believe me, Ernstili. But it is all past; I have learnt to think quite differently and can see now that one can lead one’s life in other ways and so far I am happy with that.
With you, spring really has arrived; here there is just a hint of it. In humans this reawakening is so wonderful and so cheering, just beautiful. It’s only then that one sees the world in its true light, I think. The world would be so wonderful, enough room for everyone and truly beautiful. Let the storm rage, some day will come a time of blessed peace, please God! I accept your proposal to consider me your little wife, your beloved. I do it anyway because in my mind I am living totally with you. I am very proud, my treasure, of your correctness and popularity, and the respect people pay you. It is the only thing we own. Not long ago, at the dentist, a man was rude to me because he thought I wanted to push in and be treated before him. It wasn’t true and he was wrong but he called me a liar in front of four strangers. I was able to prove that he was wrong but I was deeply hurt, as if someone had boxed my ears, and I was so upset that I had a nosebleed when I got home. It is sad that there still are boorish people around so lacking in self control.
[Architect] Eisler, of course, has no work. There isn’t any and everybody is reduced to the same low level. Either they [men] take care of the shopping for the household or they work at home dusting, tidying, etc. Many go on courses but these don’t fill the whole day. Usually the women do all the work alone and that’s when the men lend a hand. Good, isn’t it? It often amuses me but one gets used to it.
Ernstili, please keep copies of your letters so that we can keep a better record of our correspondence … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … …54
… … … What will I dream today? Goodnight now. I hug you tenderly, send you a thousand kisses.
Your Mitzi
Karlín, Friday 14/3/1941
My beloved Ernstili
Up until today this week hasn’t brought me any news from you and my thoughts are therefore constantly with you. At the moment my mother is unwell, unfortunately quite seriously, and unfortunately a lot of it is her own fault. Frequent coffee drinking has given her high blood pressure which has led to her having a blood clot in her eye. The consultant prescribed a strict diet and treatment. If there is no pain and if no complications set in then she may save the eye, in which she has almost no vision because of glaucoma; otherwise she would need a serious operation which would upset me very much indeed. The thought that she may have to undergo such torture in her 80th year makes me tremble and fills me with worry and horror.
The ‘friends’ send greetings again, very cheering.
I had another wonderful dream about you but, as I am not sure that this letter will reach you, I won’t recount it but will stop for today, embracing you tenderly in my mind and kissing you in the usual way and praying to God to take you into his protection. Tenderly yours for always,
Mitzi.
Karlín, Sunday evening, 17/3/1941
My beloved Ernstili
It is Sunday evening again and I am alone at home after being away almost the whole day. Yesterday I was at a birthday celebration which was a very modest affair, but nice. There were twelve of us and we made pleasant conversation. My friends have got the use of only one room in their large flat and yet it was very prettily done, so one sees that people can adapt.55 The gentlemen played bridge in one corner, the ladies talked. And today I was at the Lípas for lunch, then at my bridge party. …56 My mood has sunk below zero, but only when I am alone, because I haven’t had any news from you.
Here I sit now, with your picture in front of me. This little picture looks very seriously at the world and I am trying to imagine what you are doing at this moment. Everything possible runs through my head and I am stalked by disquiet and apprehension. I regret bitterly that, because this young girl57 had to put off her visit, you couldn’t have the picture from the Willinskis. I sometimes think that it is almost impossible that you can picture me as I am. I think that photos are the most beautiful thing that we have from our absent loved ones.
Dear one, do you still remember our expeditions in the car when you yourself were driving? Our main worry was your driving ability and we teased and made fun of you. Do you remember how you used to get angry? Once we were in Glatzen near Marienbad58 and stopped at the edge of a lake. Photographs were taken – I think I’ve got the picture somewhere here. Have you perhaps got the photo with you, if you took such souvenirs when you went?
And in my effort to occupy myself with you I am delving more deeply into memories of when we were together in former times and shall I admit what I regret? Why did I never try to talk to you in more depth? Today I still can’t understand why, when I occasionally met you later, in the years 1936–8, at the time when you both were cross with me, you just – what should I say? – just looked past me so angrily. What could I do about the whole affair which was based on fantasy?
I was particularly glad to hear from Emil that Alois sounded very well, unlike all the others in his circle who are very unhappy at the pain of separation because they don’t like the Lichtmanns, Ashkenazis, Guens, Goligers, etc. at all.59 I must say that I entirely sympathize with them and would almost prefer my V.60 to undertaking this journey, but so far the question doesn’t arise so let’s hope for good things in the future.
Dear one, it is sweet of you to think of my love of flowers. From childhood that was my great weakness, flowers and birds. They are the most lovable of nature’s creations and the sight of them delights me.
And now, enough, my treasure. Keep well and healthy. God be with you all. My thoughts are always with you.
I hug and kiss you tenderly. Mitzi
Karlín, Sunday evening, 23/3/1941
My beloved Ernstili
Imagine, my love, it was no dream but reality when on Saturday morning your little letter fluttered into the house. And as I was convinced that there would only be cards now I was particularly glad. And then the beautiful contents! I was so happy all through Sunday. I imagine what it would be like if you were at my side. Then everything becomes so lifelike that, when my outstretched arms fall back into nothingness, it is only then that I realize that I have been fantasizing.
On the 3rd you wrote that you regretted that earlier we had repressed our feelings and what did I write to you on the 17th? Something similar! Good, isn’t it?
It is so sweet of you to worry about whether I have enough for my daily life – thank you very much, my love. Don’t worry, I will have enough for a good while yet, till the end of the war, I hope. There is in any case no going out for pleasure, at most only a few male and female friends come, and then not until after coffee time, ‘après’, as we call it. Yesterday there were nine people at my place and it was really nice and cosy. Today, at Irene’s, there were even more and different acquaintances. There was the merry Frau Neumann61 with her coarse humour which only she can get away with – I laughed till the tears came. Oh Ernstili, it is good sometimes to be able to laugh so heartily. It really does you good. I always imagine how it would be if you were there too and I have a little pang in my heart that it cannot be, but one day it will! If I ever need anything, my sweet one, I will very gratefully take up your offer and I thank you again warmly with a sweet kiss. You can hardly imagine how good my sister was – and is – and how rude and ungrateful I often am to her for it, because it goes against the grain for me to keep accepting gifts. We see each other every day and if by midday she has heard nothing from me she rings up or comes over herself. They care for me like a hen for her chicks.
Ernstili, visiting the Willinskis62 has become impossible and that is also why they couldn’t send you the picture.
Are you very busy? How is the vineyard? And the young ones? And how will you be protected when the great heat starts? Are you already sleeping under a mosquito net? Are you careful enough about that? I’m afraid of malaria etc. because you weren’t born there.
… … … … … … (section obliterated by the censor)
And now I am going to fall asleep in your arms. Goodnight, my beloved. I hug and kiss you tenderly.
Your Mitzi
Comment from censor: ‘Write unambiguously!’
My dear Ernst
I thank God and the most esteemed Herr Censor that your letter of 15/3 arrived this morning. As always, I was delighted and now I will feel much easier the whole week long. This is how I will make my thanks: to God, by offering half my midday meal (it isn’t sumptuous but quite good) to the first needy person who comes here today, and I thank Herr Censor by respecting his order as an official, writing briefly as he instructed on your last letter. My God, that isn’t easy for me, the well-known chatterbox.
Therefore, my sweet one, I am not going to go into all the points in your letter in detail, but tell you that I am happy to hear that you are growing round and are healthy, that you can laugh – that is wonderful, that’s how I picture you – and that I am also healthy and share your thoughts. Soon it will be spring here too. Yesterday I was with our friend Dezsö Reiszman63 who recently lost his wife so tragically. Didn’t you know them both? It may be useful that his brother Geza lives in Vác, Hungary and knows you. He asks you to write to him some time, instead of Ulli.
Ernstili, I am not going to be afraid of your irony any more. I won’t dream of it and will gladly let myself be spoilt. I wish we were already at the point where we could spoil each other.
But now I’m stopping, because I must! In my mind I hug you tenderly, send you 1,000 kisses and am yours alone.
Mitzi
PS. Darling, your last letter had the following order from Herr Censor ‘Write briefly. Otherwise the letters will not be delivered.’ Eman is a good lad. A pity he isn’t a rich man or he would help to get us over.64
1The vineyard was a small piece of land, twelve kilometres outside Thessaloniki, which Ernst’s son-in-law bought before the war. With the help of Ernst, they built a small dwelling there. The family visited it every weekend.
2Marie’s cousin in New York, Eman Benisch, is acting as a postman for letters between Britain and Czechoslovakia.
3Throughout her letters, Marie refers to her daughters Edith and Grete as the ‘friends’ and writes as if they are in the USA, not Britain. She never mentions Sheffield (where Edith is working) by name but occasionally calls it Chicago. Edith, being the younger of the two, is often referred to as ‘the little one’.
4Fritz Ullmann (1902–72) was a cousin of Marie’s mother. The address given is that of the headquarters of the World Jewish Congress and of RELICO (the Relief Committee for the Warstricken Jewish Population) in Geneva, where Ullmann was based during the war as representative of the Jewish Agency. He was a committed Zionist, who maintained contact with Jewish communities under the Nazi occupation. He was widely praised for his efforts to help the Jews of Czechoslovakia.
5Italy invaded Greece on 28 October 1940. The invasion was a failure and the Italian army was forced to withdraw. Thessaloniki was not directly affected.
6Judr. Ervín Gallus (*1882), his wife Valerie (*1891) and daughter Eliesa (*1917) were later deported to Łódź (on 21 October 1941), where they perished.
7Jüdisches Nachrichtenblatt – Židovské listy, was a weekly published by the Jewish Community office (Kultusgemeinde) between 1939 and 1945. It published new anti-Jewish laws, issued by the German and Czech authorities, and promoted the idea of Jewish emigration, as well as retraining courses.
8Because of censorship, Marie only hints at the changes in Czechoslovakia since Ernst and Thesa left in March 1939.
9Marie referred to Jewish refugees from German-occupied Sudetenland and Jews of German nationality and language as opposed to Czech Jews in Prague. In this letter Marie refers to tensions between Czech Jews and Jewish refugees from the Sudetenland.
10The Jewish Community office in Prague organized various classes so that people who hoped to be able to emigrate could learn foreign languages and acquire marketable skills.
11Sebert was a property management company in Karlsbad.
12After the outbreak of the war with Italy Greek authorities evidently increased the control of civilian postal communications.
13Marie’s late husband Emil Bader.
14Emil Löwy (*1875) is living apart from his non-Jewish wife. It seems that they were still formally married at the beginning of the war, which protected Emil against deportation. In November 1941 (part of the letter sent on 19 November 1941 is not included in this edition) he was living in an old people’s home in Prague. Whether his wife divorced him or she died, he appears to have lost his protection and was deported on 24 October 1942 to Theresienstadt and from there immediately to Auschwitz (on 26 October), where he was most likely murdered immediately upon his arrival.
15There were increasing restrictions imposed on the Jews in Prague. They could live only in certain districts (in Prague 2, Prague 5 and parts of Vinohrady, see the letter of 25 September 1941) and several families had to share an apartment.
16Gustav and Irene Lípa. Irene was Marie’s sister.
17This letter was sent via her cousin, Eman Benisch, in New York.
18Louise Rosenberger (*1861), Marie’s mother, lived with Marie’s sister and brother-in-law. She was murdered in Treblinka in October 1942.
19The time of Emil’s death and its aftermath.
20Marie’s students were learning how to make Oblaten (oplatky, wafers).
21EBE Karlsbader Nährmittelindustrie (see the Introduction).
22Does Marie consider joining Ernst in Greece?
23The family of Ernst’s daughter Hella.
24In several letters Marie describes the changing gender roles in Jewish families caused by the gradual segregation and the fact that men, previously much more prominent in public life, lost their jobs. For example, on 6 August 1941 (not published here) she wrote: ‘Here it is commonly the men who go shopping because they usually have a lot of time. If the women have to queue they can’t get everything done on their own in the short time available. Don’t think I am suggesting something to you which is degrading.’ See also the letters of 10 March 1941 or 18 July 1941.
25Marie regularly joined bridge parties with her friends, many of them also refugees from Karlsbad.
26Paul Buxbaum, one of her mother’s brothers, left Czechoslovakia before the war. Oskar and Max, both in the USA, and referred to further on, were his brothers.
27Udrčský les (in Czech) near Karlsbad.
28Max Buxbaum, Mutti’s brother.
29Marie refers to her daily routine of washing, cleaning, cooking, shopping and visits to officials or lawyers.
30The Youth Aliyah (Jugendalijah) organized the emigration of children and the youth to Palestine, which was under the British rule. The efforts continued clandestinely even after the outbreak of the war (as part of Aliyah Bet).
31Ernst apparently wants to announce their intention to marry but does not hide his feelings about Irene and Mutti following their part in the rupture in 1936.
32Marie is referring to the first anniversary of Thesa’s death.
33Marie several times refers to the celebration of Christmas, but at the same time to the effort to stick to Jewish traditions. This was a common feature of Jewish identity in Bohemia.
34Jurgo was the Löwys’ dog.
35A reference to Käthe Brock-Strauss, a good friend of Grete Reichl (Marie’s daughter), who managed to get to the USA with her husband and children.
36Hede and Rudi Sternschuss.
37The Jewish Community office (Kultusgemeinde) became the main intermediary between both the German and Czech authorities, and the Jews in Prague. Although before the war the Kultusgemeinde predominantly organized the religious life of the community, their role increased during the war, when they became the main administration unit that managed all aspects of life of the Jewish community, provided social services, organized labour and administered the accommodation of the Jews in Prague. Ultimately they were responsible for the registration of the Jews and later for the organization of deportations to the ghettos. They also had to secure the Jewish property confiscated by the Germans. The Jewish Community office was fully subordinated to the Zentralstelle für jüdische Auswanderung, the main German office in charge of the so-called ‘Jewish question’ in the Protectorate. See Chapter 2, footnote 61.
38It took more than two years after her escape from the Sudetenland before the Czech authorities confirmed her residency status in Prague.
39Around this time hundreds of Jewish men were forced to clear snow off the runway at Prague airport, as well as from other sites in Prague. The authorities often used Jews who were out of work as forced labourers to clear snow and for other public works.
40Emigrationsmappe – this was a collection of the documents that people who planned to emigrate had to complete and submit to the Zentralstelle. It included their personal details, as well as a declaration of the assets, and confirmation that they did not have any outstanding debts, among other documents. Fredy (Alfred Kessler) did not manage to emigrate in time and perished in the Holocaust (deported to the Rejowiec ghetto in eastern Poland).
41Rudolf Eisler (*1874) lived in the same block of flats as the Lípas. He was deported to Theresienstadt in September 1942. He died in the ghetto on 25 December 1943. His wife Eliška (*1898) and daughter Doris (*1922) perished in Auschwitz.
42Jews were subject to a curfew and had to be indoors by 8 pm.
43Dr Karel Struzi was a lawyer who handled Ernst’s property affairs.
44This is a hidden reference to her own daughters and son-in-law. Eman only had one son.
45Her EBE company.
46Treuhänder (trustees) took over and administered confiscated Jewish property.
47See footnote 38. Marie’s Protectorate citizenship application was rejected in October 1939 (http://www.holocaust.cz/databaze-dokumentu/dokument/102890-baderova-marie-ztrata-statniho-obcanstvi/)
48Marie is referring to having been forced to give up her business after the Munich Agreement.
491936 was the year her daughter Grete had a nervous breakdown following her divorce from Otto Reichl, and when Marie’s husband Emil died.
50Ernst suggested that he and Marie would have to share a room.
51Alois Löwy lived in Vienna, where the first deportations of the Jewish population took place in October 1939. Here Marie refers to the second wave in February and March 1941, when 5,000 Viennese Jews were sent to Occupied Poland (to the Lublin district and other smaller places). Marie’s letter shows that information about the deportation spread very quickly.
52Emil Löwy’s daughter.
53There follows a large gap where the censor has removed a section (apparently from the other side) with scissors.
54The next section, about twenty lines long, has been removed.
55Several families had to share one apartment.
56The next sentence has been obliterated.
57This is probably the girl referred to in the letter continued on 15 December 1940, who was going to go to Palestine, where the Willinskis, mutual friends of Marie and Ernst, had emigrated.
58In Czech Kladská near Mariánské Lázně (Marienbad).
59Deportation to Poland. Marie uses code names for places in Eastern Europe (or for Eastern European Jews). The specific meaning of the terms is not exactly clear.
60Deportations from Vienna had already started. Marie was probably referring to Vironal tablets, which had been used by people wishing to commit suicide.
61Louise Neumann (1879–1942) was a member of Marie’s bridge circle. She was deported on 10 June 1942 to Ujazdów in eastern Poland, where she perished.
62Palestine.
63Desider Reiszmann (*1883) was deported to Lublin, via Theresienstadt, in mid-May 1942. His brother Geza was reportedly killed in Auschwitz in 1944.
64To provide them with an affidavit, one of the conditions prospective emigrants to the United States had to fulfil.
