Johnny Law popped ’round the other afternoon for an unexpected visit, and, boy, was my living room in a state—lamps and tables turned over, dishes broken, magazines torn, glitter and craft supplies strewn about the place. Most embarrassing was the unidentified, unexplained corpse sprawled on the floor. It really was every hostess’s nightmare, especially as I’d run out of sherry. A very tedious afternoon followed, with endless questions and lab assistants taking hair samples and photographs. Despite the chaos, I couldn’t help but admire the flashy police accessories, and I began to covet their skills at interior decorating.

I was especially fond of the chalk outline on my carpet, the bold black-and-white graphics a subtle contrast to my paisley drapes. Chalk has the tendency to smudge and fade, however, so I decided to find a more permanent and memorable embellishment for my favorite hearth rug.

SUPPLIES

Roll of inexpensive gift-wrapping paper for making the stencil

Masking tape

A willing victim (see Notes)

Marker

Scissors

Solid-color rug (see Notes)

1 can white spray paint

HOW TO

1. Tape out two or three long sheets of cheap wrapping paper side by side for the victim to pose on. You’ll want lots of extra paper around him or her——at least 12 inches——to leave room for the outside portions of the stencil.

2. Use a marker to trace the outline of your principal character. Staging this is important——splayed legs and gesticulating arms look best.

3. Remove the victim, then trace a second outline about 2 inches outside the first, all around the entire body.

4. Carefully cut the inner and outer stencils from the paper, discarding the 2-inch strip of paper in between the two drawings. This will be the area where you apply the spray paint.

5. Take your carpet outside or to a well-ventilated place, and don’t try this on a windy day——your paint won’t spray evenly and the stencils could get blown off the carpet.

6. Tape the inner stencil to the carpet from behind, in your desired position.

7. Again taping from behind, attach the outer stencil to the carpet.

8. Apply several coats of paint to the exposed carpet space, waiting an hour between each coat.

9. Your rug memorial is ready to go. You can walk and tramp across it to your heart’s delight, and the design is fine to vacuum over.

Notes:

I was able to pick up a shag carpet at a major-brand hardware store for under $50. As it’s now the centerpiece for my living room, it was a pretty thrifty investment.

Because you’ll need to manipulate the body and move it around a few times, I’d suggest using a live model. While it may be easier to trace a body after rigor mortis has set in, it tends to be fairly heavy and harder to reset into poses.