| 1. | The thought of change can feel intimidating, but an understanding of what’s involved in the process of change tends to ease trepidation. So, first off, I’d like to introduce you to the development plan I’m offering, detailing how the procedure you are about to embark upon will unfold. |
Included with this book are 10 downloadable mp3 hypnosis recordings, recordings of my voice backed by gentle, soothing music. To access these audios please click here for login information.
Each audio is specifically engineered to help you comfortably relax, observe, learn and adjust. Audio 1 – Good night, sleep well – is designed to be a part of your daily routine from the outset, its chief aim being to accustom you to the relaxing hypnotic state. From now until completion of this process (and beyond if you choose to), listen to the audio every night whilst lying in bed, ready for sleep. Should you fall asleep whilst listening to it, that’s all right.
Each subsequent hypnosis audio lasts about an hour, so, when an audio (look for this symbol 
) is cued within a chapter, please set aside about 60 minutes to listen to it, at a time when you’re neither too tired nor likely to be disturbed. Then, find a warm, comfortable and safe place to lie back and begin relaxing.
I’m sure I don’t need to say this, but, please do not multi-task whilst listening to the audios (no driving, no ironing, no ‘I’ll just pop it on in the background while I assemble my latest flat-pack’) – they require your undivided attention. Also, for the same reason, please don’t listen to the audios at times when you’re under the influence of alcohol or drugs.
Experience tells me that people benefit greatly from understanding the concepts that underlie the therapeutic process, so, the first two chapters of this book are somewhat theoretical in nature. Chapters 1 and 2 centre on descriptions of how the incredible human mind generates our behaviour, what hypnotherapy is and how it works.
Where change is concerned, we can often, inadvertently, get in the way of our own progress. Therefore, Chapter 3 investigates possible mental attitudes to change that could impede your progress, attitudes such as ‘change is frightening’ and ‘I can’t change; I was born this way’.
Beginning the process of change, Chapter 4 focuses directly on you and your sense of ineffectiveness and discomfort in the present. Initially your definition of the presenting issue is explored with a view to gaining a clear understanding of what your discomfort is and how it’s affecting your current life. Your goal state (how you’d prefer to feel) is then thought through and cemented via a hypnosis audio. Chapter 5 continues the process of change by exploring and re-educating that old sense of discomfort.
The reflection required to thoroughly investigate your current dissatisfaction with life might well seem a tad demanding, so Chapter 6 is designed to give you a breather from self-contemplation and provide you with a technique to generate a feeling of calm comfort at will.
More often than not, the problem with which people present is a symptom of something broader. To explore further layers of the issue, Chapters 7 to 9 address potential historical influences on your sense of discomfort, identifying and transforming unhelpful core beliefs, and exploring the possibility of moving beyond the influence of past experiences through a process of forgiveness.
Given that the value of self-knowledge cannot be overstated, Chapter 10 centres on investigating how well you really know yourself, helping you to not only understand who you are and what resources you have at your disposal, but also to then apply that knowledge to useful effect.
Chapter 11 acts as a summary of progress to date. And, finally, Chapter 12 provides you with the gift of self-hypnosis – a tool that you can use for the rest of your life, enabling you to become far more self-reliant in future problem-solving situations.
Please be aware that this is a process throughout which your definition of the discomfort and dissatisfaction you feel will probably change. Once some aspects of a problem have been dealt with, it’s very normal to begin unconsciously redefining the issue. To keep you on track, at the end of each chapter is a ‘Progress report’ – a brief outline of my expectations of your progress to date, followed by an opportunity for you to assess what you’ve actually learned, to then apply that knowledge directly to your original problem.
I also want to draw your attention to the possibility that, in the early stages, the more you unravel something, the worse it can feel. Rest assured, this is temporary; you will come out the other side. Just keep going.
| 2. | Hearing about other people’s life experiences can be very beneficial, particularly when those experiences resonate with your own. So, let me now introduce you to two very important people: Mia and Duncan (not their real names, of course). |
Mia and Duncan represent clients of mine who, at different times, came to see me, presenting with a feeling that they were being ineffective in their lives, that they were existing, not living. They felt ill at ease within themselves and uncomfortable with the way that their lives were turning out.
Born in 1967, Duncan was a single 41-year-old IT specialist, working for a large organisation.
Mia, born in 1980, was a 30-year-old full-time mother of two children, married for 10 years to Geoff.
You will hear much more about Mia and Duncan throughout the book.
| 3. | And, last but not least, introducing me; for the next while, we’re going to be in each other’s company, so, just as if we were meeting in person for the first time, I’d like you to begin to feel comfortable with me. Let me describe myself a little. |
You’ll probably have seen my photo on the cover of this book; make of my appearance what you will. I do my best! I smile – a lot; it’s a comfortable facial expression for me. My eyes are kind. I have a firm but not crippling handshake. I’m 53-years-old, am quite tall for my sex and am relatively slim – my weight goes up and down depending on the time of year and the amount of socialising I’ve done. I’m normal – imperfect – human! In my work role I dress smartly, but comfortably, choosing muted colours that, hopefully, add no distraction to the meeting. Much as I might choose to wear tracksuit bottoms or bedeck myself in jewels in my time off, during work, as far as I’m concerned, the office is a professional, bling-free zone.
I work from home. On arriving, you’d enter through the front door into the hallway, a large space decorated with artefacts collected from my time travelling in Namibia and Zimbabwe, and then, through to the office, a door just off the hallway.
My office is a compact and comfortable space, the walls festooned with my various professional certificates, the shelves stacked with books that relate to my profession – I read around my subject a lot. The purpose of the certificates is to reassure clients that I’m suitably trained in my field. Being the thorough sort of person that I am, once I had made the decision to re-train to become a clinical hypnotherapist, I went back to University and studied for a Graduate Diploma in Psychology. I then went to London to train with the Institute of Clinical Hypnosis (ICH). In 2006 I passed my Advanced Diploma in Hypnotherapy and Psychotherapy. I set up practice as a clinical hypnotherapist later that year and continue in this role to this day, regularly taking further instruction in my field of work to broaden and refresh my knowledge- base and skills. I take such pleasure in what I do.
There are also a couple of family photos in my office, so, if I were asked about them by a client, I would happily explain that I have two very loving and supportive parents, that I am married and have a step son, a daughter-in-law and a grandchild, and that I have two daughters, both now independent, magnificent young women.
Being a last-born child, my empathy for and respect of others developed from a young age. As I grew, I also acquired a very British sense of humour, seeing a tinge of lightness even in the darkest of situations. I regularly apply humour to my work, finding that laughter provides immense physical and psychological benefits to both me and my clients. I hope that these aspects of my character become evident as the book progresses.
That’s enough about me. Now let’s focus on you.