Working with the Dead
While I don’t consider myself a necromancer, there is most certainly a place in my practice for my ancestors and loved ones who have gone on to their next life. Sometimes this is simply having something of theirs present on the altar to invite their blessing, while other times they make themselves impossible to ignore when they want to be included. This has happened to me more than once by surprise.
Including ancestors in your practice can bring depth and meaningful energy to spells and rituals that otherwise aren’t there. However, before inviting them into your magick, you have to be comfortable with how it feels to have contact with them. This is best learned by working with someone you had a good relationship with or who was at least a benevolent force in your life. You don’t want to call upon those who inflicted pain or violence, unless you’re experienced and ready to confront the issue and transform it into healing. This is a huge process all on its own.
Methods for Contacting the Dead
While some people prefer to use tools for a very clear response from spirit, one that they can see with their physical eyes, it’s my experience that it helps to allow for more subtle contact than that, which means meditative practice. Achieving this open, calm state is a stumbling block for many people, but it is essential for doing work with spirits. Spirits are on a completely different plane than us and can’t always move or impact physical objects here on earth. However, these tools can be useful for those just getting started.
A popular way to contact the dead is with a Ouija board. This is a board with the alphabet and numbers zero to nine painted on it, along with a spade-shaped object called a planchette, which is supposed to move around on the board and point to letters, spelling out messages. Some say that a Ouija board is a gateway for all kinds of negative entities to enter into our world, and that using one is dangerous. I tend to disagree with this. If you are curious about using a Ouija board but are frightened, consider creating a protected safe space within which to work. You can cast a circle beforehand, visualizing a sphere of white protective light around you while you work. You can request that your ancestors shelter you, or burn a candle dedicated to protection. To use a Ouija board, you place your fingers on the planchette and ask a question of spirit. The planchette is supposed to move of its own accord, pointing to letters and spelling out messages, but in my experience, it is not so simple nor passive. A spirit rarely reaches invisible fingers into our world to shove objects around and spell things (although it can happen). It’s far more likely that the spirit will come through your own subconscious and use your fingers to push the planchette. This may feel at first like you’re just doing it yourself, but, again, it requires a meditative and open state. Allow the planchette to move and see where it lands, even if you feel like it’s your own doing. A spirit is far more likely to come through your subconscious mind than through a plastic planchette.
The same can be said for pendulums. A pendulum is a weighted object on a chain or thread, often made of crystal or stone. It’s suspended from the fingers, questions are asked, and its movements are interpreted. While it would be great to just ask questions of the dead and get yes and no answers as clearly as a nod or a shake of the head, it’s usually not that straightforward. With a pendulum, a meditative state is also absolutely necessary, and you may feel like you’re moving it yourself. It could be that your arm was pushed by your subconscious mind to move the pendulum back and forth, and that spirit was nudging your mind in the first place. Establish before you begin what the movements of the pendulum mean. Back and forth typically means no and side to side means yes. Also give a specific meaning to circles and figure eights before establishing contact.
Automatic writing is an effective technique that asks spirit to come to you through the written word or pictures done in your own hand. Have a pencil and large piece of paper ready. Ask the spirit to communicate with you. Start by just closing your eyes and drawing figure eights or circles, until you feel compelled to move the pencil in a different direction. On one hand, you may just scribble during the interaction and afterward examine the markings to see if there are symbols, letters, or words in it. You might also feel compelled to write actual words down while making contact, which is an interesting exercise.
Other techniques are gazing at a candle flame and ask spirit to communicate through the movements of the fire, inviting them to come to your dreams while you sleep, or simply asking for a sign.
A Word on Mediums
A medium is a person who believes they can connect with the dead on behalf of others, typically for a fee. While some mediums are very convincing and really do seem to be connected with your loved ones (for example, they identify very specific things they couldn’t possibly have known about you), it’s my belief that you must be very selective in who you give your money to. When you lose someone you care about, it can seem like all you want is some closure, and you can feel a desperate need to connect to them, but this is when you’re most vulnerable to being taken advantage of. Some so-called psychics are simply really good at what is called cold reading. They ask a few leading questions and then, based on subtle cues like body language, clothing, age, language, and education, come up with a very vague, broad statement that the querent will then give meaning to all on their own, agreeing with the reader and supplying them with more information to work with. Next thing you know, the half-hour time slot that cost a hundred dollars is over, and while the psychic did most of the talking, you yourself gave their generic words personal meaning all on your own. I’m not saying all readers are like this—many are intuitive counselors who really do provide insight and guidance and are not out to scam anyone.
There are no hard and fast rules to finding a reliable medium that is the real deal, but going on word of mouth helps. If someone you respect has recommended a medium and believes in them, that’s better than just choosing a stranger on the internet and sending them money. It’s also said that you will find the perfect medium when the universe wants you to, and it will happen naturally. I must confess, I think that any contact a medium can make with your loved one is contact you could also make yourself with practice. However, working with a medium can open the door to your own spirit connections and set you on the path.
Reconnecting with Your Loved Ones
You don’t have to be casting a spell to ask your loved ones to pay you a visit so you can feel their presence or receive a message from them. This is a simple meditation to connect with someone who has passed. While this isn’t a means of gaining anything from them or asking for help, it is a way of coming to terms with their death and gaining insight into what comes after. It also makes it very clear, when done correctly, that there is in fact something after this life.
When I did this, I was surprised at how practical the messages from my loved ones were. It was very much the sort of advice they’d give in real life, about my work, finances, and my relationships. There were no astounding revelations for me, but maybe that’s because I’ve had the privilege of easy relationships with my family both living and dead. If someone has unfinished business or regrets over their relationship with you, they may convey that. This can be cathartic for those still living as well as for the spirit, who may be restless due to the pain you’re carrying. However, this can also open old wounds, so like I said, it is maybe best left for when you are ready.
Do this ritual in a quiet time when you will not be disturbed or distracted.
Have on hand an object that belonged to the deceased. It can be a piece of their clothing or jewelry, a beloved trinket, a bit of their handwriting, or (in the case of my grandma) some of their knitting. Choose an object that reminds you of them, preferably one that you remember them using, wearing, or handling. This creates a strong energetic reaction of memory and triggers visual images of the person, which is helpful in connecting with them. If you don’t have anything of theirs, try using a photograph instead.
If you know of music they preferred, you may wish to play some. If you’re unsure and are calling on your ancestors in general and not a specific person, select music that is from their heritage to the best of your knowledge. As you play the song for them, enter into a meditative state using the technique on page 57. Hold on to the object and welcome their presence. It will seem like memories at first, but as you relax into your practice, you may discover that you can smell their scent or just sense their company. Their energy will feel the same way it did in life. There’s nothing to be afraid of if you had a positive relationship with this person. If they loved you in life, they will love you still, sometimes in a way that is clearer than ever before now that they are free of their human complications and problems.
In my experience, I know my family member is present because I can actually feel them near me in the form of heat or pressure nearby. Some people can see auras and energy of the departed, while others hear their voice. For me, the feeling of having them near is the same as having them with me in their earthly life, a sense of having someone physically beside me or in front of me.
Allow yourself to be completely open, and don’t worry about judgment. You may feel an urge to talk to them out loud, and that’s fine. Say hello and be receptive. Notice what immediately starts to float around your mind. Did you suddenly think of your marriage? Your children? Your phone bill? Those are what your loved one is also concerned about and is communicating to you. Seems mundane, I know, but in my experience that is how it goes! You may be expecting a ceremonious hello, but the spirits of your loved ones have been with you all this time and often will just jump into what they want to tell you, now that you’ve finally opened up to them. My mother was always worried about whether or not I was keeping my house clean, and she still is! Seems like a strange, random thing for a person in the afterlife to be thinking about, but it’s her signature of sorts, and by slamming me with cleaning instructions, she’s making herself known. Your loved one may be letting you know they’re present by mentioning a thing they often did or talked about in their life, even if it’s something as mundane as housekeeping, because it will help you recognize them.
It’s important to be patient in this exercise, as it may take several tries to get comfortable and establish contact. From there, it takes time to get accustomed to receiving images, sounds, and feelings from spirits. Be relaxed, open, and unafraid. Let it unfold in its own way. Let go of expectations or how you think it’s “supposed” to be. Let sounds, pictures, or words come in. If you feel prompted to talk back either with your mind or out loud, go for it. When you’re done, write everything down to analyze later.
Everyone’s experience is different based on the relationship with the deceased, but once you’ve gotten comfortable with having them present, communication will come easier. Your loved ones never just disappear. You don’t have to make a big ritual of saying goodbye after each contact, as they’re with you always. You’ll find they send you help in daily life all the time once you learn to see it.
Connecting with Ancestors
We have discussed connecting with a loved one who has passed, but what about your lineage and all those people connected to you, by blood or in spirit, whom you never met? If you’re lucky, you have seen photographs of your ancestors, but many people don’t even have that. There may be tidbits of information passed down about your great-great-grandparents, but you have no idea what they looked like or what kind of personalities they had.
I myself have always felt a very close link to my paternal grandfather, although he died before I was born. I always felt deep down that he was somehow especially important to me and over the years I have seen again and again how I have the same traits and dreams that he had while on earth. He was a free thinker and a musician, a dreamer and a creator. However, he lived in a time when this kind of attitude was discouraged and all that mattered was putting food on the table, so he never got to fully realize his potential. He passed these traits on my father, who taught me also to be unique and to pursue my love of the arts for the sheer joy of it, even while he too was a laborer who had to keep his passions on the side. And here I am now, the first person in our family to have been able to turn my artistic and creative abilities into a career, despite having spent most of my life up until recently working in various low-paying manual labor jobs. I was faced with the same paradigm my forefathers faced and managed to break the cycle of endless work and lost dreams. This artistic strain began before my grandfather, and it will continue in my own bloodline until it has served its purpose here on earth. Many things take multiple lifetimes to come to fruition.
Ancestors pass their goals and ambitions down to you. It makes it seem like there’s something bigger going on, doesn’t it? Often, the people you are closest to in this life are part of that same task or goal. You are born to create change in your soul and those around you, to end a cycle in your ancestry or to bring something specific to the earthly plane. Sometimes you have to finish the work they started in their life. Sometimes you’re a bit player in bringing change, as your actions in your daily life make small and steady impact on the collective unconscious. In the grand scheme of things, our lives are actually quite short, considering how old the earth is, and it can take several lifetimes for a large catalyst to manifest in a person.
Someone who is doing big things, whether it’s being a central figure in social change or making any kind of historical imprint, is a culmination of their ancestors’ experiences, feelings, and collective goals. Not everyone is the ultimate end goal of our ancestors, like a highly influential public figure, but they are part of creating that voice in the future. You are important. What you do here matters, even if it doesn’t feel like it. You are part of something bigger. We all are.
You can invite your ancestors into your space, even if you don’t know much about them, and ask them to guide you on your life’s purpose. You may already have some ideas of what your life’s purpose is but aren’t sure. Working with ancestors is an excellent way to figure it out.
There are other spirits out there who may not have been blood related to you but are still an important part of your ancestry, history, or background in some way. You can call upon these people in exactly the same way you would a blood ancestor, as explained further on.
Ancestral Hand-Me-Downs
Just as you inherit passions and talents from your ancestors, you can inherit their pain as well. There are entire generations of people who live with the repercussions of traumatic events that happened to their family and ancestors before they were born. Those whose parents, grandparents, great-grandparents, and so on experienced genocide, violence, war, oppression, and slavery are just some examples of people who may have inherited trauma. Large-scale trauma like this reverberates through time like the echo of a gunshot, impacting generations to come. Typically, ancestral trauma is found in people descended from a group that has been marginalized based on race, ethnicity, or religion.
Inherited trauma can be seen on the earthly plane in many ways: how our current society still operates in a way that oppresses people of color and benefits white people is just one example. Even if humans were to somehow overcome and heal this imbalance, there is still going to be collective pain passed down generationally.
The same can be said of all the strong energetic forces that were alive in your ancestors. Their values, joys, pain, passions, beliefs, and life force are alive in you. These things don’t just disappear when a generation dies; they stay in the energy fields of their children, grandchildren, and so on until they fulfill their purpose in the bigger picture. There are links to ancestors in folklore, mythology, and religion, as well as in more tangible forms, such as artifacts, traditions, art, and objects from their lives that have been preserved as antiques. Your ancestors are in your dreams and aspirations, the things you feel the strongest about. They’re inside you and standing behind everything you do. When you think about it, every single person is an amalgamation of their ancestors physically, mentally, and spiritually. In this way, no one is ever truly alone.
If there is a recurring issue that seems to constantly repeat in your life no matter where you go or how you change, this could be the energy passed down from an ancestor.
Inviting Ancestors In
When working with ancestors you don’t know anything about, make sure to sufficiently protect yourself energetically just in case, by casting a circle, asking a deity to shield you, or creating a physical barrier with a salt or chalk circle drawn on the ground around you. If you don’t have a deity in mind, you can simply ask that the energy of the earth protect you and keep you grounded.
If you have some inkling of who your ancestors were, you can envision them and what they looked like, such as what clothing they would have worn during their time period. If you’ve heard any stories about them, use that to fuel your visualization. If you have an object that is a piece of your ancestry, keep it with you in your circle.
Enter a meditative state as described on page 57 and say either out loud or in your mind:
I welcome my ancestors to this circle.
We share our blood,
We share our souls,
We share our mission.
Be here with me now.
Pay attention to what feelings come over you. You may feel positive, nurturing energy, as many of your passed relatives do love you and want you to achieve your life’s purpose. Allow the feeling to wash over you and pay attention to images or sounds. Let your mind wander and see what they show you. You may feel one spirit or the presence of several different entities rising up around the circle. Spend some time focusing on each one, paying attention to their features, the emotions they send you, and what they’re doing. The more often you do this, the more you’ll notice personalities coming through or several distinct spirits returning repeatedly. Just like people, they will have different vibes.
Once you’ve established contact, you may recognize their influence in your day-to-day life in ways that have been there all along but you never noticed.
If you get a negative feeling from your ancestors, it could be that they were a chaotic force when living and left unresolved business behind. They may very well have been negative or worse, abusers of some kind, who have carried that energy into the other realm, not having overcome it. This is why you’ve protected yourself before making contact. You can maintain an energy barrier between yourself and them, while still gleaning information on who and what they were. Don’t feel that just because you have an ancestor with negativity that you yourself are negative: you are part of changing it here on earth. If they’re taking over your whole ritual and interfering with connecting to their spirits, you can tell them to leave.
Telling a spirit to leave is not an act of disrespect but one that is necessary for you to realize your own purpose. Firmly state that they are not welcome in your circle, and afterward cleanse the area with smoke from burning herbs of your choice. You may have to repeat this several times. If they still have not left, perform the cleansing ceremony on page 277.
You can perform this simple ritual to connect with your ancestors as often as you please to get to know them. After a while you might begin to feel them with you always and no longer need the ritual to connect to them at all.
Making an Ancestor Anchor
Once you have established a rapport with one or more spirits, you may wish to include them in your spell work just as you include the elements or deity. Simply place an object that represents them in your circle and invite them in by feeling their presence. This object is what I call an “anchor,” as it is a physical object that connects to their spirit directly.
Ideally, your anchor would be a photograph of the person at the height of their life, something they’ve worn or something they’ve touched, but this is not always possible. In that case, you can create your own anchor.
You can use a small object that reminds you of the person. This can be a figurine of a person or animal, or you can select a special stone just for this purpose. Go to a place where there are many rocks and stones, such as train tracks, a gravel road, rocky beach or path. Close your eyes, breathe deeply, and feel the presence of the spirit. Ask them to select a stone they would like to represent them, and open your eyes. The right rock will stand out and pull your attention to it. Take it home.
Cleanse the stone’s energy by passing it through incense or leaving it out in the sun for a few hours. Then at your altar, place it in front of you. Envision your loved one sitting across from you. See their face, the lines or smoothness of it. Feel their energy and their love. See them reach out their hand and place it over the stone. Is their hand smooth? Wrinkled? Dirty from work or manicured? Place your own hand on the stone as well, and spend some time imagining the connection you are making with them, your combined energy going into the stone.
When this is established, prick your finger with a sterile lancet and add a drop of blood to the stone. (An alternative to blood is a few drops of wine or other drink.) You can allow it to dry on the stone, or wipe it off at the end of the ritual if you prefer.
It is done.
From time to time, such as every dark moon, repeat this ritual as an offering and to maintain contact.
When you wish to include ancestors in your spells and rituals, keep the stone or object in the circle with you to guide their presence in.
When you no longer need the ancestor anchor, you can cleanse and reuse it or bury it.
Getting Rid of Unwanted Spirits
Almost everyone has had at least one experience with ghosts or restless spirits. Typically, they’re harmless, but sometimes they can take frightening forms that interfere with your daily life. Occasionally a presence can be felt that leaves you cold and filled with dread. They might even be able to move things about the home (such as shutting doors), flicker the lights, or make unexplained sounds. People can live quite happily alongside ghosts of the gentle variety; however, when you get a malevolent one, it can wreak havoc on your peace of mind.
Where does a ghost come from? My theory is that when a person experiences extremely strong emotion in a place, either from trauma, sickness, or another powerful event, they emit such a strong energy that even after they pass away, that emotion lives on in that location like an energetic stain. Whether this is due to a wish to be acknowledged or just because their will was very strong, you can feel it. Some people take a very literal approach to ghosts, believing that they are the actual soul of the person walking invisibly around a place, either reenacting their demise or expressing unhappiness with the current inhabitants. There are varying levels of awareness to spirits and ghosts, and everyone is different. Just as some people are very sensitive to lights or sounds, some people are receptive to spirit activity or energies from other beings.
We can all agree, however, that a malevolent ghost in the home can be disruptive to you, your family, and animals and needs to be removed. Here is a simple ritual to cleanse your home of unwanted spirits, ghosts, or malevolent forms. I suggest also doing a physical cleaning of the house first. Dust everything, throw out or donate any clutter, vacuum the floors, scrub the bathrooms, and wash the windows. As you do this, you’re stating to the physical plane that you are cleansing the area.
This ritual is an aggressive cleansing, and the incense smoke involved will not smell very nice. That’s why it needs to be done in weather when you can open all your doors and windows.
This ritual is designed in such a way as to ward off a spirit who is disruptive and mean, hence the commanding language. Like a stubborn person causing loud trouble, this kind of spirit needs to be told clearly to leave. However, if you sense the spirit in your house is sad or perhaps would be more likely to respond to gentler words, you can rephrase it however you wish.
This ritual is also good for cleansing the house in general after a big change or shift in your life.
materials
Loud bell
Lighter or matches
Charcoal disk
Heatproof dish
Dried garlic mixed with bay leaves
Spritz bottle filled with lemon juice or brewed sage water. Mix the juice of
1 lemon with enough water to fill the bottle, or boil a handful of sage in water, strain it after it cools, and fill the bottle with it.
Witch’s salt (see page 49)
Open all your windows and doors as wide as they’ll go. Make sure all closets and cupboards are open, even in the kitchen and bathrooms. Start at the uppermost part of your home if more than one story, in the easternmost room. Stand in the center of the room and ring the bell loudly. Notice how the sound vibrates in your ears for some time. Imagine that you can see the sound reverberating outward like a ripple in a pond, disrupting the air and energy in the room in a circle shape. This loud noise is meant to shake up the energy in the room, leaving clean white light in its wake. After the sound of the bell dies out, recite:
All unwanted beings must exit this space.
You are not welcome here.
I drive you out with light.
Move on and don’t return.
You may have to ring the bell a few times in rooms that feel especially oppressive. Move around your home clockwise, ringing the bell in each room and stating your intention. Don’t forget stairways or hallways. Do each level of your house, starting in the eastern room of each floor, including the cellar.
Return to the room you started in. Light your charcoal disk, place it on the heatproof dish, and set some of the garlic and bay leaves on it. Walk clockwise around the room with the smoke, being sure to waft it into every corner, inside each closet and inside cupboards. A fan is helpful for this, or you can blow the smoke with your own breath. As you walk the perimeter of the room, this smoke is now cleaning the energy that was loosened by the bell. As the smoke permeates every corner, nook, and cranny, imagine you are fumigating the area. See the negative energy running away, fleeing from the smoke like scared insects. Repeat this in each room in the same order as before. Take your time and visualize everything patiently. If a room doesn’t feel cleansed, you need to burn more incense in there until it feels right.
Now begin again, this time making the rounds of your rooms with the spritz bottle of sage or lemon water. As you spray this around, see clouds of peace filling up every corner of every room.
When you are done, sprinkle witch’s salt in all your windowsills and doorways that lead outside, visualizing the barrier it creates between your now cleansed, blessed home and outside energy, sealing the ghost out.