Wcomp-27

Blake Octavian Blair

A lot of time, energy, dedication, and work is required to maintain a strong and healthy spiritual practice. However, what do we do when schedules crunch, mundane life happens, or crisis hits? It can be easy to feel like we’ve lost our way, like we’ve fallen off the proverbial spiritual wagon.

I understand this feeling. I (and many others, I assure you) have been through periods like that before. Don’t fear—there are ways to get through it and maintain a connection with divinity and your spiritual practice. There are spiritual lifelines, so to speak, to help you stay afloat. Join me as we look at ways to stay on the spiritual wagon and perhaps even strengthen our spiritual practice while doing so.

There are many situations in life that may lead us to feel as though there just isn’t enough time for an involved spiritual practice, including employment uncertainty, having to move, the death of a loved one, having a baby, or dealing with conditions such as depression or anxiety. The stress and emotions felt during such periods of duress can seem paralyzing. However, allow me to gently suggest that it is worth finding ways to keep your spiritual luster, even if it feels like you’re running on a spiritual emergency generator simply to keep going. After all, is that not one part of what spirituality is meant to be helpful for: to provide the means and wisdom to assist us in making our way through the rough times as well as the good? Magical people often pride themselves on the practicality and proactivity of their spiritual beliefs.

If you have never been in a situation that threatens to toss you from your spiritual wagon, then consider yourself lucky. The truth is that, at one time or another in life, we all will go through at least one rough patch. For example, if you have one employment situation come to an end, whether it’s planned or unplanned, you may face the uncertainty of the job hunt. The job market today is not what it was in past generations. Finding the right employment situation under a strict deadline—and hoping it will take you to a place where you’ll be happy living and provide the resources needed for you and your family to live comfortably—might be enough to occupy your mind, consume your energy, and throw you from your wagon.

Dealing with the unknown is scary. When my husband was finishing graduate school, we were looking at employment opportunities for him and where they would take us geographically. It was stressful, even with promising prospects on the horizon. It was certainly overwhelming, but we were able to stay on the spiritual wagon by allowing ourselves to acknowledge the situation directly in some of our spiritual work, in addition to giving ourselves some wiggle room in our spiritual practices, seeking counsel from friends and community members, and accepting healing from others.

As practitioners in the tradition of core shamanism, we consciously made the effort to maintain our shamanic journey practice, as it helped sustain us as we received wisdom and compassionate healing from our helping spirits on the situation. Further, we made regular offerings to the spirits for their assistance and prayers for what we wanted to unfold, leaving regular biodegradable offerings in a local body of water. These practices and ceremonies were manageable for us to maintain and allowed us some leeway schedule-wise, without the pressure of a strict regimen that was “do or fail.” In this time of crisis, a requirement of doing a ritual at a very precise time in an ultra-precise way just wouldn’t have been possible. However, we were able to maintain a spiritual connection, and it allowed our practice to help us through the rough patch.

We also sought the counsel of spiritual community members. We were lucky to have a few friends from one spiritual community we belonged to who had been through a similar situation and knew the ins and outs of the occupational field we were dealing with. Having a listening ear and their big-picture advice based on experience was extremely helpful, and they were very supportive throughout the process. We also accepted the help, advice, and spiritual work of colleagues in our shamanic, Pagan, and Reiki communities. For example, one particularly close friend sent us distance Reiki nightly, and I’m certain it contributed to helping us get where we needed and wanted to go. Sometimes we all need advice, healing, a listening ear, or just someone to take our mind off things for a little bit and make us smile or know we are loved. Those of you reading this who deal with depression and/or anxiety, or perhaps have a loved one who does, can testify to the value of that last piece of advice. Sometimes you just need to be able to call upon a friend who can simply be there for you. All the better if you share similar spiritual viewpoints and can offer support in that way as well.

When times get tough, it’s often easier to engage in spiritual practices along with a friend or spiritual colleague. I have a close friend and shamanic sister who felt she had kind of lost her spiritual mojo after the birth of her two children and the death of her mother. Those three major life events all happened within the span of a few years. The energy, effort, and motivation she needed for her spiritual practice had up and left. Her connection to the divine felt neutral in strength at best. When she did have the get-up-and-go to do something, she often felt disconnected in her workings. What had not left and was not absent was desire. The desire for spiritual connection and power was present.

It was shortly after this friend gave birth to her second child that my husband and I met her and we became fast and close friends. She was very interested in our shamanic practice, and we gave her our teachers’ information. She began studying with them, and through this new lens she found a fresh outlook on her spiritual practice that resonated and felt like home, and she quickly got her spiritual groove back. She found an outlet that resonated with her experiences, fit her life, and had a built-in community with friends that shared the tradition and new teachers to guide her, providing a spiritual support system.

The value of spiritual community is not to be underrated when you’re going through a tough time, no matter what your particular beliefs are. It’s not necessary to have an entire traditional church congregation, but having even a handful of friends with similar beliefs can go a long way. Whether they are local to you or available via phone or online, being part of a community is a huge asset.

Another excellent tool for spiritual engagement exemplified by my friend’s story is taking a class or learning new skills. This can seem like a huge undertaking during times of stress, but if conditions allow for you to do so, it can be a great way to reenergize your spiritual batteries, build community, and gain resources to help you carry on. Taking a class related to your spiritual path can not only help take your mind off things for a little while, but can also give you tools to face your situation head-on and help you manifest and plan for a better outcome.

When tough times hit, a few things tend to happen straight away and then persist throughout the rough patch that make it feel difficult to stay the course in a spiritual practice. One is the experience of the “monkey mind.” Generally the monkey mind takes the form of obsessive worry during times of crisis; the “what if” thought pattern kicks in. The other thing that tends to kick in is a feeling of being overwhelmed. You may feel like you don’t have the time or the ability to take the time for your spiritual activities, or you may not feel sure that you can concentrate or give a hundred percent to them.

Giving yourself flexibility and allowing for some simplification does not dilute the potency, meaning, or devotional expression of your spirituality. A handful of flower petals offered by saying a prayer and tossing them into a lake can be as meaningful as an elaborate, full-ritual offering ceremony done in a temple room before an altar in a cast circle.

This is where flexibility can really come into play. Giving yourself flexibility and allowing for some simplification does not dilute the potency, meaning, or devotional expression of your spirituality. A handful of flower petals offered by saying a prayer and tossing them into a lake can be as meaningful as an elaborate, full-ritual offering ceremony done in a temple room before an altar in a cast circle. A simpler version is certainly easier to execute and fit into your schedule when you are under stress and have limited energy. I have also found, in my own times of crisis, that if I can get myself to engage in simple spiritual practices, it puts me in a better place to engage in more vigorous or involved spiritual practices. You just have to find that starting point to center yourself, even just a bit. A further benefit I’ve noticed is that after I engage in a spiritual practice, my focus outside of my spiritual practice improves and I have greater clarity and feel a bit more calm. You may still be stressed, but perhaps a bit less so, and your coping ability may improve. Additionally, it is my personal experience that the divine realms will also come to your assistance, and that is a powerful benefit.

You can see that your spiritual practice can become part of your self-care. Self-care is quite the buzz term in holistic and alternative health circles these days. When I use the term, I am referring to the things you can do to maintain your own spirit. Perhaps this is simply giving yourself fifteen minutes of quiet time in the morning or at lunch every day. Maybe it’s knitting or craft time. It could be a weekly candlelit bubble bath. It can be anything that rejuvenates you, feels restorative, and leads you to a place of calm. My mother-in-law, for example, enjoys yoga, and it fulfills these goals for her. Personally, I find chocolate is a great addition! Whatever you choose, make self-care a priority, be flexible, and find something that fits into your life, but make your spiritual practice a part of it.

With all of my talk of having a spiritual support system and being able to have a phone-a-friend type of spiritual lifeline available, I want to give a little attention to the role of being a supportive friend. I’m sure most folks reading this are the type of person who would want to be there for a loved one going through such a life event. As I mentioned, the majority of us have been through rough patches. We can often speak from experience and perhaps be a beacon of light in the dark tunnel our friend may be traveling through. I once heard a friend, who is a Unitarian Universalist minister, say in a sermon, “If you’re going through hell, keep driving!” However, sometimes that takes encouragement, and it’s nice to have a sane passenger or friend to provide a rest stop to show us there is good outside the rough patch. It is important, however, not to speak outside your experience. If you don’t truly understand the person’s situation, do not—I repeat—do NOT say to them “I understand.” If you can’t back up that statement, it will fall flat and ring hollow. It’s better just to be a voice of compassion and provide a listening ear. Sharing a relevant personal experience and your understanding can be wonderful, but the last thing a person in crisis wants is empty reassurance.

Above all, be genuine. Sometimes when you are helping a friend through a crisis, it is worth acknowledging that it is okay to feel down, upset, nervous, worried, or any number of other emotions. However, it’s good to remind your friend that those feelings don’t have to be all-consuming and then try to provide them with a little relief and perhaps hope with your company. When going through a rough patch, it can be a wonderful thing to get a random phone call or message from a loved one who is just checking in on us. There can be light at the end of the tunnel, even if we don’t yet see it … it may be just around the corner. While it may not seem like it at the time, the crisis is likely not the end game.

Certainly you can be proactive beyond providing a listening ear, often by helping your friend through spiritual practice. If you share similar beliefs, this may take the form of co-practice. Perhaps perform some proactive magick together to address the situation. Magick combined with real-world action has a pretty good track record of having a degree of success. Most practitioners would testify to that. Of course, you can also engage in magick and ritual for reasons that help give a person’s mind a rest from thinking about the situation and a chance to refresh. Perhaps plan a simple sabbat celebration together. It can be helpful to be reminded that, despite the rough times, the Wheel of the Year still turns and Mother Nature is still ever present for us. The Great Mother watches over us all.

It is also possible that your loved one does not share your style of spiritual practice and, in fact, may not even be of a magickal persuasion. However, with their permission, you can still help them through your own spiritual practice. Permission is paramount and just plain shows respect. How many times have you been annoyed by people who don’t agree with your beliefs passively-aggressively saying, “I’ll pray for you.” Let’s avoid any chance of that. However, most people are incredibly open-minded. I accept prayers from well-intentioned and open-minded friends and family who are of different faiths, and I find most people are similarly open. So light a candle for a friend, send them Reiki, or do shamanic healing work for them with your spirits’ assistance. Further, encourage them to continue some simple spiritual practice of their own, even if it’s a different path from yours. You don’t have to be of their faith to be supportive of it.

We can hope for ourselves and others that we will never experience a time when we feel depression, despair, or deep worry over how our lives are working out. The reality, however, is that most of us will go through a rough patch here and there. We can be there for each other. The truth is, the vast majority of the time, things can and do work out. What the scenery looks like after we exit into the light at the end of the tunnel may be vastly different than what we envisioned, but most of the time things turn out just fine. In fact, I think the spiritual work my husband and I did during our rough patches certainly contributed to manifesting good outcomes for us.

As you navigate challenging situations and work toward solutions, remember the various techniques we discussed. Try to maintain a simple spiritual practice, be gentle on yourself, and allow for flexibility! Spend time with supportive people. Seek the counsel of your spiritual support system, in this “ordinary” realm and in the realms of the spirits and gods. It is my sincere hope that with some of the tips presented here, you can not only stay on your spiritual wagon but ride it through the tough times. Blessed be!

Blake Octavian Blair is an eclectic Pagan, ordained minister, shamanic practitioner, writer, Usui Reiki Master-Teacher, tarot reader, and musical artist. Blake blends various mystical traditions from both the East and West along with a reverence for the natural world into his own brand of modern Paganism and magick. Blake holds a degree in English and Religion from the University of Florida. He is an avid reader, knitter, crafter, and practicing pescatarian. He loves communing with nature and exploring its beauty, whether within the city or while hiking in the woods. Blake lives in the New England region of the USA with his beloved husband. Visit him on the web at www.blakeoctavianblair.com or write him at blake@blakeoctavianblair.com.

Illustrator: Rik Olson

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