Some contend that age is a terrible price to pay for wisdom, but it needn’t be, if we are mindful about our approach to aging. Surprising research reveals that opening our minds to what’s possible, instead of presuming impossibility, can lead to a longer life, better health, and a stronger brain.
Human beings,
by changing the inner attitudes
of their minds, can change the
outer aspects of their lives.
— WILLIAM JAMES,
American psychologist and
philosopher
Since most of us were raised with the faulty notions that the brain deteriorates with age, that learning is easier when we are younger, and that memory loss is inevitable, we severely underestimate the power of a positive attitude. We also tend to overlook the hidden effects of cultural influences on our attitudes and beliefs about aging, influences that can drain mental and physical vitality from our lives.
Death may be nature’s way of telling you to slow down. And some of our parts do wear out as we use them, but, fortunately, the brain isn’t one of them.
Social psychologist Ellen J. Langer, PhD, has revolutionized our understanding of the relationship between attitude and aging. Langer’s remarkable “counterclockwise” study demonstrates the astonishing power of a positive mind-set regarding our mental and physical health.
In 1979, Langer and her graduate students arranged for two groups of elderly men, who were in the care of relatives, to go on weeklong retreats at a secluded monastery in New Hampshire. Before attending their respective retreats, the men underwent a battery of tests measuring everything from intelligence to visual memory, dexterity, hearing, and vision.
The first group of men was invited to reminisce about life twenty years earlier, in 1959. At the end of the week, the group who reminisced reported that they had a pleasant week, and they showed some improvements in their mental and physical functioning when they were retested.
The second group was instructed to return as completely as possible in their minds to 1959. Every conversation was to be held in the present tense, and the men were instructed not to discuss anything that happened after September 1959. The experiment was meticulously staged with props and decor from the 1950s. At meals, the men engaged in heated debates on issues of the day such as the threat of communism, the need for bomb shelters, and Castro’s advance into Havana. They shared thoughts on “recent” books such as Ian Flemings’s Goldfinger and Philip Roth’s Goodbye, Columbus. And they watched “newly released” movies such as Ben-Hur and Some Like It Hot. In the evenings, they enjoyed Ed Sullivan, Sgt. Bilko, and Gunsmoke on a black-and-white television set. Perry Como, Rosemary Clooney, and Nat King Cole sang on the phonograph. They listened to the radio as Royal Orbit won the Preakness, and they watched the Baltimore Colts defeat the New York Giants, 23–17, in the NFL championship game.
What happened? All the participants became more active. They started serving their own meals and cleaning up afterward, and they took the initiative to arrange their own social activities, such as card games and book discussion groups. Langer observed, “Despite their obvious and extreme dependence on relatives who initially drove them to Harvard’s psychology department…they were all functioning independently almost immediately upon arrival at the retreat.”
Follow-up tests at the end of the week revealed that participants showed dramatic improvements in memory, flexibility, vision, hearing, appetite, and general well-being. The most striking result from Langer’s study is that, after the men lived as though they were younger for only one week, their shriveled, arthritic fingers actually lengthened and released as the men embraced a more youthful attitude.
How powerful is attitude? According to Langer, “Simply having a positive attitude made far more difference than any to be gained from lowering blood pressure or reducing cholesterol.” She concludes, “While exercise and eating well are important for health, our attitudes about what it means to be healthy or to be old may be even more important.”
When Langer’s subjects returned in their minds to a time when they were younger and healthier, their brains underwent a radical change and literally grew younger. Langer suggests that if a group of elderly adults can produce such dramatic changes, perhaps the rest of us can make changes, too. “I have come to believe less and less that biology is destiny,” she says. “It is not primarily our physical selves that limit us, but rather our mindset about our physical limits.”
Your brain is plastic, adaptable, and capable of development throughout your life. Biology doesn’t fully determine your destiny, and your limits are more self-imposed than inherited. Knowing that you can improve your brain is the beginning of improving it, because your attitude serves as a powerful self-fulfilling prophecy.
How strong is the effect of mind-set on longevity? Langer’s associate, Becca Levy, PhD, was determined to find out. Beginning in 1975, she surveyed 650 people about their expectations regarding the aging process. Subjects responded to statements such as “Things keep getting worse as I get older” or “I am as happy now as I was when I was younger.”
Dr. Levy and her colleagues used the survey to categorize respondents as either negative or positive in their attitude toward aging. More than twenty years later, she discovered that the group with more positive, optimistic expectations about aging had outlived the more negative, pessimistic group by an average of more than seven years.
Commenting on Levy’s research, neuroscientist Valerie Gremillion, PhD, says, “So this doesn’t seem like magic, let’s point out these effects can occur through a number of known mechanisms, from decreasing depression and increasing motivation, to psychoneuroendocrine effects on the immune system, and through active engagement with the world and an associated decrease in feelings of loneliness and helplessness.”
Expectations
determine outcomes. If you
expect your mental and physical
capacity to diminish with age, it
probably will. If you have the
expectation that you will grow
younger and live longer, this will
be your experience.
— DEEPAK CHOPRA,
author of Ageless Body,
Timeless Mind
Consider this groundbreaking fact: by increasing awareness of the way you form attitudes and expectations about aging, you can influence the quality and duration of your life. With this in mind, let’s begin cultivating the most adaptive attitudes for healthy aging.
“Old age,” said Bette Davis, “is not for sissies.” Anyone can be optimistic when everything is going her way. If you are in perfect health and just fell in love, you don’t get much credit for being optimistic. Optimism counts when you face difficulties. Resilience in the face of adversity is the most distinguishing characteristic of those who age gracefully and adapt well. And resilience is a function of optimism.
Martin E. P. Seligman, PhD, pioneer of positive psychology and author of Learned Optimism, followed the development of optimists and pessimists over the course of decades. Seligman discovered that optimists get better results than pessimists in most areas of life: optimists outperform on their aptitude tests, get sick less frequently, recover faster when they do get ill, and make significantly more money. (The pessimists who are reading this are getting really depressed!) Seligman found that optimists get better results even though pessimists are better at accurately assessing the challenges and difficulties in a given situation.
The good news for pessimists is that an optimistic attitude can be developed. The key is what Seligman calls “explanatory style.” In other words, pessimists and optimists tend to have very different self-coaching strategies in the face of adversity, and pessimists can learn the more adaptive and creative approach that leads optimists to achieve better results. Seligman expresses it this way: “The defining characteristic of pessimists is that they tend to believe that bad events will last a long time, will undermine everything they do, and are their own fault. The optimists, who are confronted with the same hard knocks of this world, think about misfortune in the opposite way. They tend to believe that defeat is just a temporary setback or a challenge, that its causes are just confined to this one case.”
No pessimist ever
discovered the secret of the
stars, or sailed to an uncharted
land, or opened a new doorway
for the human spirit.
— HELEN KELLER
So if a pessimist experiences an age-related disorder, such as degenerative osteoarthritis of the hip that is so bad it requires a total hip replacement, the pessimist’s internal dialogue might include phrases like these: “I will never be able to do what I used to do,” “This will ruin everything,” and “This is my fault for doing all that cross-country running when I was younger.” The optimist approaches the same challenging circumstances with an internal dialogue that might include phrases such as these: “This surgery will allow me to do what I love to do again,” “I will make the most of this temporary setback,” “I will use the downtime to strengthen my patience and compassion, and will emerge as a wiser, more balanced person,” and “I’m glad I conditioned my body to meet athletic challenges when I was younger, because I can use that experience to recover quickly and fully.”
If a pessimist gives a presentation at work with the intention of gaining approval for a new project and the proposal is rejected, the pessimist’s internal dialogue might include phrases like these: “My proposal isn’t good enough, and I’m a failure,” “This is a disaster — it makes a mockery of everything I’ve worked on,” and “The situation is hopeless and will never change.” The optimist approaches the same type of rejection with an internal dialogue that might include phrases such as these: “The board that rejected my proposal will have three new members in six months, so I will try again at that time,” “I will use this time to strengthen my proposal so that it will be much more compelling and irresistible,” and “I’m grateful for the opportunity to learn from this rejection — it will help me become more effective.”
Optimists get better results in most areas of life because they stay engaged and continue to search for solutions. Pessimists assume that solutions aren’t possible, so they stop seeking. Optimism is a skill of emotional intelligence that can be learned. The key is to become aware of your habitual internal dialogue so that you can then consciously embrace the most creative, resilient perspective on any challenge you face.
Pessimism leads
to weakness,
optimism to power.
— WILLIAM JAMES
A primary tenet of neuroscience, formulated by Donald O. Hebb, PhD, is “Neurons that fire together wire together.” Habits are formed from neuronal connections that, over time, get wired together in the brain. Many habits are useful, such as tying your shoes or flossing your teeth. But some habits, like worrying and other pessimistic thought patterns, aren’t constructive and require conscious intervention to change.
Extreme habit patterns are observable in individuals who suffer from obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). OCD is characterized by repetitive behaviors and uncontrollable thoughts. Many OCD sufferers know that their ritualized behaviors, such as repetitive hand washing or checking the oven countless times to be sure that it’s really off, are irrational, but the automatic pattern is so powerful they feel powerless to stop it.
Jeffrey M. Schwartz, MD, coauthor of The Mind and the Brain: Neuroplasticity and the Power of Mental Force, has been successfully teaching patients with severe OCD to rewire their brains in order to free themselves from destructive patterns of habitual thought and action. Schwartz’s approach can be applied to rewiring any habitual pattern,
He counsels that you begin by observing the process of your mind at work. Acknowledge when worrisome, pessimistic, or anxiety-driven thoughts arise, and label them as by-products stemming from maladaptive wiring in your brain.
As you note the anxietyproducing thought pattern, you disconnect it from association with events in the external world and instead attribute it to the habitual circuitry in your brain, circuitry that you are now in the process of rewiring.
In the central
place of every heart there
is a recording chamber. So
long as it receives a message of
beauty, hope, cheer, and courage
— so long are you young. When
the wires are all down and your
heart is covered with the snow
of pessimism and the ice of
cynicism, then, and only then,
are you grown old.
— GENERAL
DOUGLAS MACARTHUR
Dr. Schwartz advises that once you’ve become aware of a negative thought pattern, you should consciously alter the pattern of association by redirecting your attention to something pleasurable, such as listening to your favorite music, working in the garden, or playing with your pet. Even though you might be feeling anxiety or dread, you change the pattern of association in your brain as you willfully focus on something pleasurable. With practice, this positive refocusing gradually rewires your negative neural circuitry.
Another method for mindfully changing pessimistic patterns and negative associations is “the Work,” developed by Byron Katie, author of Loving What Is. In a process similar to the one developed by Dr. Schwartz, Katie teaches you to identify and question thoughts that cause suffering and then turn them around.
For example, your negative thought might be, “I’m always forgetting things; my memory is getting worse with age.” Katie counsels asking these four questions about the negative thought:
An unquestioned
mind is the world
of suffering.
— BYRON KATIE
1. Is it true? Are you really always forgetting things? Do you ever remember anything?
2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true? Absolute knowledge is elusive.
3. How do you react — what happens — when you believe that thought? Bring your attention to the physical reactions you have when you experience a pessimistic thought. What happens to your posture, your breathing, etc.?
4. Who would you be without that thought? This question invites you to let go of your attachment to the negative thought.
Katie suggests that, after you have investigated your statement with the four questions, you aim to experience the opposite of your original statement. She calls this a “turnaround.” You might turn around the original statement (“I’m always forgetting things; my memory is getting worse with age”) by stating, “I always remember important things. My ability to remember what’s important is improving with age.” Or, “I’m skilled at forgetting unimportant things. This improves the quality of my life as I get older.”
As you learn to turn around your negative, pessimistic thought patterns, you’ll feel better and respond to life’s challenges in a more adaptive and creative manner.
GFH isn’t the latest hormone therapy. It’s an acronym for three essential practices that improve mental acuity and extend your life: gratitude, forgiveness, and humor.
Gratitude has been lauded by many remarkable thinkers throughout history. For Thomas Jefferson, “the disposition to be grateful” was an essential key to happiness. The great physician, humanitarian and Nobel laureate Albert Schweitzer explained, “The greatest thing is to give thanks for everything. He who has learned this knows what it means to live.” And the Roman philosopher Cicero noted, “Gratitude is not only the greatest of the virtues but the parent of all others.”
He is a wise
man who does not grieve
for the things which he
has not, but rejoices for
those which he has.
— EPICTETUS, Greek
philosopher
The word gratitude comes from the Latin root gratia, translated as “grace.” All major spiritual traditions emphasize the importance of grace and gratitude, but it is only in the past ten years or so that science has begun to validate what religion has always taught. Robert A. Emmons, PhD, Michael E. McCullough, PhD, and their colleagues have, as part of the Research Project on Gratitude and Thankfulness, conducted many experiments to measure the effects of the disposition to be grateful.
They discovered that people who count their blessings rather than their burdens are more adaptive, are more optimistic, and report a significantly greater experience of well-being. They write, “In an experimental comparison, those who kept gratitude journals reported fewer physical symptoms, felt better about their lives as a whole, and were more optimistic about the upcoming week compared to those who recorded hassles or neutral life events.”
An attitude of gratitude is relatively easy to cultivate, and a simple gratitude journal is the best way to get started. Take a few minutes every morning to write out a list of things that inspire you to feel grateful. After you compose your list, spend a few seconds focusing on the feeling of gratitude for each thing you’ve written down. After you’ve reviewed your list, just “float” in the feeling of gratitude for a minute or so. Repeat the process in the evening. That’s all it takes to get your immune system revved up. Practice this simple gratitude exercise, and you’ll discover more grace in your everyday life. The British poet and philosopher G. K. Chesterton expressed it this way: “You say grace before meals. All right. But I say grace before the concert and the opera, and grace before the play and pantomime, and grace before I open a book, and grace before sketching, painting, swimming, fencing, boxing, walking, playing, dancing, and grace before I dip the pen in the ink.” Rabbi Harold Kushner, author of When Bad Things Happen to Good People, also reminds us to appreciate the holiness of the everyday phenomena that we often take for granted. Like Chesterton, he recommends focusing attention on gratitude for simple things — the air you breathe or the clothes you wear. As you count your blessings, you discover that you are blessed.
The British poet and playwright Hannah Moore referred to forgiveness as the “economy of the heart.” She explained, “It saves the expense of anger, the cost of
Along with gratitude, all the world’s spiritual traditions also emphasize the importance of forgiveness. For many people, however, forgiveness is a more challenging attitude to embrace. As the great English poet Alexander Pope noted, “To err is human, to forgive divine.” Not surprisingly, contemporary science has begun to demonstrate the benefits of this divine attribute.
Life is an adventure
in forgiveness.
— NORMAN COUSINS
The practice of forgiveness boosts the immune system, lowers high blood pressure, reduces anxiety and depression, and improves sleep patterns, according to Fred Luskin, PhD, director of the Forgiveness Project at Stanford University and author of Forgive for Good. And Dr. Luskin’s research suggests that forgiveness is a skill that can be learned. Developing your skill in forgiveness is easier when you remember the following points.
• Forgiveness is for you. Forgiveness is a powerful form of self-healing. It’s important to learn to let go of toxic emotions because bitterness and resentment are physiologically harmful to the person who harbors them. Forgiveness is something you can do primarily for your own benefit. Holding a grudge drains your energy and compromises your well-being. In The HeartMath Solution, Doc Childre and Howard Martin explain, “Forgiving releases you from the punishment of a self-made prison in which you’re both the inmate and the jailer.”
• Forgiveness strengthens your character. Forgiving others, and yourself, liberates you from emotions that disrupt your peace of mind. As you take more responsibility for your internal experience and choose happiness over resentment, you affirm your inner strength and freedom. Gandhi reminds us, “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”
• Forgiveness isn’t condoning. In the movie Unforgiven, Bill (played by Gene Hackman) protests that he doesn’t deserve to die and Munny (played by Clint Eastwood) responds, “Deserve’s got nothin’ to with it.” The same thing is true with forgiveness. And forgiving someone doesn’t mean that you condone or excuse unacceptable behavior. You can strongly disapprove of another person’s actions and still forgive him. You don’t have to reconcile with someone or continue a relationship in order to forgive completely.
• Forgiveness is the best revenge. The inability to forgive is based on a flawed assumption: we mistakenly believe that anger and resentment can defend us against hurt feelings. But negative emotions don’t protect us; they actually harm us, by unleashing a flood of stress hormones. So let go of the investment in this faulty strategy and focus instead on living as well as you can. And if you need a little mustard with your forgiveness, remember the words of Oscar Wilde, who quipped that you should always forgive your enemies because nothing annoys them more.
• Forgiveness takes patience. Learning to forgive takes practice and patience. Deep wounds and hurt feelings can be tenacious. Sometimes when we think we have forgiven and moved on, something happens to remind us of a past hurt, and we find ourselves consumed by it again. When this occurs, just notice the hurt feelings and, instead of judging yourself, renew your intention to let them go.
• Forgiveness is easier with empathy. It’s much easier to forgive when we understand and empathize with the person we are forgiving. As the poet Henry Wadsworth Longfellow explained, “If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we would find in each person’s life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility.”
• Forgiveness is easier with blessing. You don’t need to be religious or spiritual to bless someone. You can do it just because it will help you feel better. Pierre Pradervand, author of The Gentle Art of Blessing, describes a blessing as genuinely wishing the best for another person. He suggests that we “systematically replace every single thought of judgment with blessing — especially for that fellow at the office who drives you out of your wits!”
Just as blaming and resenting others weakens us, blessing them can provide a surprising source of strength. And you may be delighted to discover that your life becomes more harmonious as the blessings you give are returned to you.
In his classic book Anatomy of an Illness as Perceived by the Patient, Norman Cousins shares the story of his recovery from a form of severe degenerative arthritis. His most successful therapy was laughter. He watched silly movies and surrounded himself with mirth. “I made the joyous discovery that 10 minutes of genuine belly laughter had an anesthetic effect,” he wrote.
Frame your
mind to mirth and
merriment, which bar a
thousand harms
and lengthen life.
— SHAKESPEARE
Many subsequent studies have proven Cousins right, showing that laughter has an analgesic effect (most likely because it releases endorphins into the bloodstream), especially for chronic pain from arthritis or neurological diseases. Laughter also eases muscle tension and suppresses the release of cortisol, the stress hormone. A 2001 study reported in the Journal of the American Medical Association showed that symptoms improved in allergy patients who viewed comedic movies, but not in those in the control group, who watched weather reports. Laughter boosts immunity and also “increases our heart rate, helps us breathe more deeply, and stretches many different muscles in our face and upper body,” according to research by Richard Wiseman, PhD. “In fact,” he adds, “it is like a mini workout.”
Along with gratitude and forgiveness, humor is one of the most important attitudes for strengthening our well-being as we get older. Here are a few simple ways to add more laughter to your day.
When I was
young, I was called a rugged
individualist. When I was in my
fifties, I was considered eccentric. Here
I am doing and saying the same things
I did then and I’m labeled senile.
— GEORGE BURNS, in the film
Just You and Me, Kid
• Post a funny photo of yourself on your bathroom mirror as a reminder to avoid taking yourself too seriously.
• Keep a humor diary. Record your favorite jokes and funny stories, and share them with your friends. (Here’s one: Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at them and says, “I’m sorry, gentlemen, only one carrion allowed per passenger.”)
• Surround yourself with laughter. Invite friends over for an evening of joke telling (give a prize for the funniest), post your favorite cartoons in your office, or have a comedy movie evening.
• Smile and laugh for no reason. The great psychological pioneer William James explained, “We don’t laugh because we are happy. We are happy because we laugh.” James’s assertion is supported by contemporary research. Paul Ekman, PhD, and his associates have demonstrated that smiling improves mood and positively influences the mood of others.
• Spend time with children and with family and friends who make you chuckle.
• Delight in puns. Punning is playful mental exercise. Although studies have yet to be conducted on the specific brain benefits, you will discover that a clever pun is its own reword. Is punning the lowest form of humor? Perhaps not: after all, limericks are verse.
• Luxuriate in nonsense. Make funny faces and sounds. Watch Monty Python’s classic episode featuring the Ministry of Silly Walks and practice your own. As the legendary children’s book author Dr. Seuss explains, “I like nonsense; it wakes up the brain cells.”
Language is powerful. The way you speak can reinforce or transform negative attitudes and stereotypes about aging. In the United States, negative stereotypes related to aging are everywhere; advertisements of all kinds tend to glorify youth and denigrate the elderly. We can, without knowing it, begin to internalize these negative stereotypes and inadvertently reinforce them by the way we use language.
In a study that demonstrates the power of words to reinforce or change negative stereotypes, Becca Levy, PhD, exposed different groups of older individuals to words flashed on a computer screen so quickly that they weren’t consciously aware of what they were seeing. One group was exposed to words that reflect a positive attitude toward aging, such as wisdom, experience, and creativity. The other group was exposed to words that reflect a negative stereotype of aging, such as disease, senile, and dying. The group exposed to the negative words scored significantly lower on memory and mathematics tests, due to the increase in their stress levels and a decreased sense of self-confidence. According to a study by Dr. Levy and her colleagues, “Negative stereotypes of aging may contribute to health problems in the elderly without their awareness. This, in turn, could lead to older individuals mistakenly attributing a decline in their health to the inevitability of aging, which might then reinforce the negative stereotypes and prevent successful aging.”
Words are, of course,
the most powerful drug used
by mankind.
— RUDYARD KIPLING
In other words, one’s attitude toward aging serves as a self-fulfilling prophecy, for better or worse. This is compounded by the fact that language reinforces attitude. In other studies, Dr. Levy and her colleagues have demonstrated that elderly participants exposed to words that reflect a positive attitude toward aging showed improvements in cardiovascular functioning, hearing, and even physical balance. They also found that in cultures that esteem aging, like Chinese culture, performance on memory tests tends to be higher among the elderly than it is in the more youth-worshipping United States.
FROM RETIREMENT TO RENAISSANCE
Derived from the French re- (back) and tirer (draw), retire means to “draw back.” Clearly, this word has its drawbacks. Ernest Hemingway called it “the ugliest word in the language.” When we consider a list of similar words — relinquish, surrender, separate, withdraw, regress, rescind, retreat — it seems that Hemingway may have a point. In any case, it’s important to craft a positive, purposeful plan for a personal renaissance if you decide to transition away from a job or career. This is a great time to experience a rebirth of your passion for learning. As Seneca, the Roman philosopher, observed two thousand years ago, “Retirement without the love of learning is a living burial.”
So be wary of conversations that focus on commiseration (literally “to be miserable together”). As Martha Graham warned, “Misery is a communicable disease.” If you find yourself indulging in discussions that focus on how “things ain’t what they used to be,” shift to an emphasis on gratitude and appreciation. Savor the present moment and envision the future you wish to create.
FROM GEEZERS TO SAGES
In the United States, we tend to refer to older people in derogatory terms, such as
• Geezers
• Codgers
• Seniors
• Fogeys
• Geriatrics
• Curmudgeons
• Gramps/Granny
In other cultures, such as the Chinese and Native American, older people are considered in terms that are much more positive, even reverential, such as
• Sages
• The wise
• Elders
• Seers
• Patriarchs/Matriarchs
• Grandfather/Grandmother
If you adopt these more positive, life-affirming terms, you will strengthen your own self-concept as you age.
Here are ten phrases that serve to reinforce negative stereotypes of aging:
• I’m having a senior moment.
• I’m not what I used to be.
• I’m too old.
• I can’t remember anything anymore.
• My memory is going.
• Getting older stinks.
• Everything was easier when I was younger.
• I’m over the hill.
• My best days are behind me.
• Things keep getting worse as I get older.
In the 1950s, marketers developed the strategy of planned obsolescence. A range of products, from automobiles to television sets, were designed so that they would fall apart shortly after the expiration of the warranty Planned obsolescence became less viable as business competition became more global and communication technology increased consumer awareness. Unfortunately, the notion of planned obsolescence has maintained its grip on the American psyche in regard to our view of human beings.
As a graduate
of the Zsa Zsa
Gabor School of Creative
Mathematics, I honestly do
not know how old I am.
— ERMA BOMBECK
George Gerbner, PhD, former dean of the Annenberg School for Communication at the University of Pennsylvania, was a pioneer in documenting the extent of negative and prejudicial images of the elderly in the media. Author of many books and research papers, such as “The Image of the Elderly in Prime-Time Television Drama,” Dr. Gerbner and his colleagues helped to raise awareness of how older people are negatively stereotyped or simply ignored.
Although Americans over seventy constitute more than 10 percent of the population, fewer than 3 percent of the characters portrayed on prime-time television are seventy or older. Dr. Gerbner and those who have followed in his footsteps have documented a disproportionate tendency for the media to portray seniors as senile, foolish, forgetful, and infirm. He commented, “Mass media, particularly television…[have] a profound effect on the way we are socialized into our roles, including age as a social role.”
A comprehensive review of studies on the portrayal of the elderly in the media, published in Educational Gerontology, concluded, “Negative stereotyping of the elderly circumscribes their potential by placing emphasis on the unproductive and unsuccessful older person and may become a self-fulfilling prophecy limiting capacities and experiences of aged persons. Negative stereotyping and ageism not only affect the elderly but also create negative expectations, fear, and dread of aging in the young.”
Older people usually appear only in advertisements for pharmaceuticals, old-age homes, and devices to cope with infirmity (“I’ve fallen, and I can’t get up”). As Dave Barry observes, the advertising industry “goes out of its way to make aging appear to be as attractive a process as death by maggot.” He notes, “When you see older people in advertisements, they’re usually having demeaning conversations with relentlessly cheerful pharmacists.” Images of healthy, vital, active, sexy, wise, lively, and attractive older people are rare.
THE ART OF AGING
Alice and Richard Matzkin have applied their exceptional talents in painting and sculpture to create inspiring images of healthy aging. The Matzkins’ art evokes the emergence of the soul through the years and serves as nourishment for a more positive image of the later phases of life. Their exquisitely illustrated book is entitled The Art of Aging: Celebrating the Authentic Aging Self, and their website (http://matzkinstudio.com) includes many beautiful images of older people.
Aging well is the supreme expression of wisdom. If you want to age well, nurture your wisdom by studying the lives of great men and women from all walks of life who continued to be productive and fulfilled in their later years. Make a conscious effort to focus on positive images of aging. Seek out older people who are vital and who can serve as inspiring role models.
“NOSTALGIA ISN’T WHAT IT USED TO BE”
Rudy is eighty-five. He had a stroke seven years ago but has recovered fully. Shortly after the stroke, Rudy and his wife of sixty years decided to move out of their home and into an “active retirement community.” Although they initially had severe reservations about moving into such a facility, they’ve discovered that it’s a blessing. Rudy works out at the gym three times a week, plays table tennis, runs the wine-tasting club, and is the baritone soloist in the choir. An avid reader, he usually has three or four books next to his favorite chair. While waiting in a long line for more than an hour, he quipped, “Most people my age would’ve forgotten what they were waiting in line for by now.”
Rudy and his wife enjoy dining with their friends most evenings. Their dining group has a simple rule, “No whining!” or as one member phrased it, “No organ recitals.” Their conversations usually focus on current events, movies, and book discussions; they don’t spend much time reminiscing. As Rudy explains, “Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.”
Although the members of their dining group have overcome a range of serious ailments, from cancer to heart disease, they are all in good health now, and they embody a positive, joyful, and grateful attitude toward life. Spending time with Rudy, his wife, and their friends is inspiring. They are informed, funny, and incisive as well as compassionate, kind, and wise.
The following are some examples of great role models for brilliant aging.
In 1530, at age fifty-five, Michelangelo designed the magnificent Laurentian Library in Florence. He began work as the architect of St. Peter’s Basilica in Rome at the age of sixty-three and wrote in his journal during this time, “I am still learning.” He also noted, “Genius is eternal patience.”
Adams and Jefferson served as the second and third presidents of the United States, respectively. These Founding Fathers dedicated their lives to the establishment of a new nation based on life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. They continued to be active thought leaders until they died, on the same day, July 4, 1826, exactly fifty years after signing the Declaration of Independence. Adams observed, “Old minds are like old horses; you must exercise them if you wish to keep them in working order.” And Jefferson remarked, “Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude.”
The great German poet and scientist completed part 2 of Faust (and there are only two parts) during the year of his death. Goethe scholar Raymond Keene calls it his “deepest and richest work.” Goethe proposed, “We must always change, renew, rejuvenate ourselves; otherwise we harden.”
Despite the loss of his hearing, Beethoven continued to compose, conduct, and perform until he died. One of his greatest works, the Ninth Symphony, was his last. He proclaimed, “It seemed unthinkable for me to leave the world forever before I had produced all that I felt called upon to produce.” And he advised, “Let us all do what is right, strive with all our might toward the unattainable, develop as fully as we can the gifts God has given us, and never stop learning.”
Florence Nightingale became a legendary figure for her heroic and pioneering work caring for sick and wounded soldiers during the Crimean War. The godmother of the modern profession of nursing, she published her classic Notes on Nursing in 1859 and shortly thereafter (1860) established the world’s first secular nursing school at St. Thomas’ Hospital in London. Nightingale spent the next fifty years working to promote and organize the profession of nursing internationally. A gifted mathematician and an expert in statistical graphics, she stated, “I attribute my success to this — I never gave or took any excuse.”
Harriet Tubman is a true American heroine. After escaping slavery, she devoted her life to liberating others and helped to create the Underground Railroad. In her later years, she also took on the cause of women’s rights. “Every great dream begins with a dreamer,” Tubman declared. “Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world.”
The first deaf-blind person to earn a bachelor’s degree, Helen Keller was an author and champion of human rights and human potential. Well into her eighth decade, she worked with tireless devotion to raise funds for the American Foundation for the Blind. She was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom by President Lyndon Johnson in 1964 and was elected to the National Women’s Hall of Fame in 1965. Keller observed, “As selfishness and complaint pervert the mind, so love with its joy clears and sharpens the vision.”
Despite progressive blindness, the pioneering artist continued to work until her death at age ninety-eight. In her later years, she blossomed as a landscape painter. She stated, “I decided to start anew, to strip away what I had been taught.”
Bernays coined the term public relations in 1919 and effectively invented the field. Life magazine named him one of the hundred most influential Americans of the twentieth century. When he turned one hundred, he said his mental age was “no different when I was 45.” He added, “When you reach 100 don’t let it throw you, because a person has many ages, and chronological is the least important.”
Lauded as the dancer of the century by Time magazine in 1998, Graham was also included in the list of Time’s most important people of the twentieth century. Graham experienced a period of severe depression after she stopped dancing, but at the age of seventy-eight, she rallied and re-formed her dance company. In her remaining years, she choreographed ten major new works, including the “Maple Leaf Rag,” completed one year before her death. “‘Age’ is the acceptance of a term of years,” Graham believed. “But maturity is the glory of years.” She also shared one of the great thoughts about creativity and individuality: “There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique.”
The great comedian was also the bestselling author of ten books, including How to Live to Be 100 — or More. He continued making films and doing stand-up throughout his life, and he made the most of his age with lines such as “When I was a boy, the Dead Sea was only sick” and “How can I die? I’m booked.” In a rare serious reflection, he observed, “How beautifully leaves grow old. How full of light and color are their last days.”
Paige overcame racial discrimination to break into major-league baseball as a pitcher at the age of forty-two. He was elected to the Baseball Hall of Fame in 1971. When asked about his prowess at an age when most players are long retired, Paige responded by asking, “How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you was?”
Rear Admiral Grace Murray Hopper (“Amazing Grace”) was one of the first genius computer scientists. A pioneer in the development of COBOL, one of the original computer programming languages, she is also renowned for introducing the term debugging into the lexicon (the legend is that she created this neologism after removing a dead moth from a computer). An inspiring, effective, and innovative leader, she stated, “Humans are allergic to change. They love to say, ‘We’ve always done it this way.’ I try to fight that. That’s why I have a clock on my wall that runs counterclockwise.”
The pioneering management guru continued to be an active thought leader, role model, and inspiration until the end. “We now accept the fact that learning is a lifelong process of keeping abreast of change,” he said. “And the most pressing task is to teach people how to learn.”
The most successful collegiate men’s basketball coach ever, Wooden is a member of the Basketball Hall of Fame. “It’s what you learn after you know it all that counts,” Wooden advised. He also remarked that “things turn out best for the people who make the best of the way things turn out.”
The legendary chef, author, and television star introduced fine French cuisine to the American public. When asked her advice on aging well, she responded, “Find something you’re passionate about and keep tremendously interested in it.” She also confided that her personal formula for longevity included plenty of “red meat and gin.”
The medical physicist became the first woman to win a Lasker Award in 1976 and won the Nobel Prize for Medicine in 1977. “The excitement of learning separates youth from old age,” Yalow affirms. “As long as you’re learning you’re not old.”
The author of the global bestseller You Can Heal Your Life, Hay is an inspiring presence and the founder of the acclaimed Hay House publishing company. At age eighty-four, she reminds us, “Know that you are the perfect age. Each year is special and precious, for you shall only live it once. Be comfortable with growing older.”
Winner of the Nobel Prize in Physics (1969), Murray Gell-Mann is a unique intellectual powerhouse. A passionate student of linguistics, cultural evolution, archeology, history, and the psychology of creative thinking, Gell-Mann is the prime mover of the renowned think tank at the Santa Fe Institute. At eighty-two, Gell-Mann is intensely curious and savors fine wine and fine cuisine. At a recent dinner in Santa Fe, he commented, “I think we all have the potential for genius. It’s just a matter of discovering it.”
One of the richest men and greatest philanthropists of all time, Buffett is renowned as the “Sage of Omaha.” In his early eighties, he continues to share his unparalleled insights into the art of investing, as chairman of Berkshire Hathaway, one of the largest public companies in the world. “Chains of habit are too light to be felt until they are too heavy to be broken,” Buffett muses.
Eastwood began a new career as a director at age sixty-two with Unforgiven and has won two Academy Awards for best picture. At age seventy-eight, he became the oldest leading man in a number one box office hit, Gran Torino. Eastwood explains, “I’d like to be a bigger and more knowledgeable person ten years from now than I am today. I think that, for all of us, as we grow older, we must discipline ourselves to continue expanding, broadening, learning, keeping our minds active and open.”
The Oscar-winning actress and screen legend posed for the risqué Pirelli Calendar at age seventy-two along with much younger actresses such as Penélope Cruz and Hilary Swank. She remarks, “Beauty is how you feel inside, and it reflects in your eyes. It is not something physical.” And she adds, “There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of people you love.”
FIX YOUR COURSE TO A STAR
All of our positive role models have one element in common — their lives are organized around a powerful sense of purpose. Leonardo da Vinci advised his students, “Fix your course to a star and you can navigate through any storm.” This was the maestro’s way of emphasizing the importance of a guiding purpose in life. The German philosopher Nietzsche counseled, “Forgetting one’s purpose is the commonest form of stupidity!” A guiding purpose, such as creating art or caring for others, is a major driver of healthy longevity.
Patricia A. Boyle, PhD, of Rush University Medical Center in Chicago, and her colleagues conducted a longitudinal study with octogenarians and found that individuals with a strong sense of purpose were significantly less susceptible to dementia. They conclude, “The tendency to derive meaning from life’s experiences and to possess a sense of intentionality and goal directedness are associated with a substantially reduced risk of Alzheimer’s disease and a less rapid rate of cognitive decline in older age.”