CHAPTER 21  ::  A prostitute lies about consulting the gods to find a missing article, and a henpecked husband throws a party behind his wife’s back

Jade Tao invited his brother, Cloud, into Water Blossom’s room. Having inquired after her health, Cloud told Jade to wash his face and braid his hair quickly. After a little dim sum for breakfast, they got on their sedan chairs and left East Prosperity Alley for the Bund. At the wharf of the foreign hongs, they saw a little steamer. A mandarin’s sedan chair and a carriage were already standing alongside it. The Tao brothers sent in their visiting cards and were welcomed by Script Li into the main cabin, where they saw Pragmatic Li and Crane Li, who had also come to bid Script farewell. After the usual greetings, everyone sat down. The conversation was, naturally, about Li’s departure.

Before long, Old Merit and Amity Zhu arrived together in their sedan chairs. The minute Script Li saw them, he asked, “How did it go?”

“It’s all settled. The total comes to eight thousand dollars,” Amity Zhu replied.

Script Li saluted him, saying, “Thanks for your trouble.”

Pragmatic Li asked what it was about.

“Oh, I bought a couple of old things,” replied Script Li.

Old Merit said, “The things look all right, but the price is high enough, too. The five-foot Jingtai porcelain vase alone costs three thousand.”

Pragmatic Li stuck out his tongue in shock and shook his head. “You shouldn’t have bought it. What d’you want it for?”

Script Li smiled and said nothing.

Everyone lingered for a little longer, until the boat was about to sail, when they took their leave and went ashore. Script Li and Old Merit saw them off at the bow. The Tao brothers and Amity Zhu left in their sedan chairs, while Pragmatic and Crane Li got into the carriage in which they had come. The driver knew them well and drove straight to Fourth Avenue, stopping at Generosity Alley. Pragmatic Li knew his nephew was going to Grace Yang’s, so he said he had some business to attend to and declined to go in. Knowing him, Crane Li just bade him good-bye and walked into the alley.

Pragmatic Li actually had nothing to do. Since it was still early, he wondered where he should go. Perhaps it would be best to get a casual meal at Perfection’s, he thought. So he headed due west for Great Prosperity Alley. As soon as he stepped into the house, he saw an old woman sitting in the parlor. She was none other than the squinting crone he had seen at the House of Floral Rain. What a surprise!

Third Sister Chu came forward exclaiming loudly, “Aiyo! Mr. Li is here!” So saying, she rushed out into the little courtyard, grabbed him by the sleeve, and dragged him into the parlor. The old woman sensed she was in the way and got up to take her leave. Third Sister did not detain her but just said, “Drop in again when you have time.” The old woman thanked her and left. Having shut the door, Third Sister turned around to say, “Do go upstairs, Mr. Li.”

He went up to find that there was no one in the room. As she lit a match to light the opium lamp, Third Sister apologized to him, “Sorry, Mr. Li, please sit for a while. Perfection has gone to the temple and will be back soon. Please have a smoke. I’ll go and make tea.”

Before she could leave, however, he stopped her to ask who the old woman was.

“She’s called Old Mrs. Filial Guo, a sort of elder sister of mine. D’you know her, Mr. Li?”

“Not personally, but I’ve seen her a few times at the House of Floral Rain.”

“Mr. Li, though you don’t know her, when I tell you, you’ll realize you’ve heard of her. She’s the eldest among us seven sisters. There used to be seven of us. We were so close to each other that we became sworn sisters. We worked together and played together, and in Shanghai we were pretty well-known, though I say it myself. Have you seen photographs of the Seven Sisters in the photo studios, Mr. Li? That’s us.”

“Oh, so you are the Seven Sisters! How come you’ve never mentioned this before?”

“You see, the minute I spoke of the Seven Sisters, you remembered us. But these days the Seven Sisters aren’t what they used to be. Some are married, some are dead, now there’re just the three of us left. Old Mrs. Guo is the big sister, and she’s come to this. I’m third. Between us comes Second Sister Huang. She’s turned out best among us three; she owns several girls and has her own house. Her business is not bad, either.”

“What is Old Mrs. Guo doing now?” he asked.

“Speaking of our big sister, it couldn’t be more unfair. She was the most capable of the lot, but she had no luck. The year before last, she found a new girl for her business, but after just two months she got arrested by the new yamen and was accused of abduction, of all things! She was thrown into prison for over a year and wasn’t let out till the end of last year.”

He had more questions, but just then the doorbell chimed downstairs.

“Perfection is back,” she said and hurried downstairs to meet her.

He looked out the window and saw Perfection had come in, followed by a handsome young man in a lined gown of black crinkled crepe, topped by a padded jacket of pale gray Nanjing silk. He thought it must be a new client she had picked up, so he cocked an ear to listen to them. He heard Third Sister taking them into the downstairs parlor and then whispering to the young man, but he couldn’t make out what was said. After they had spoken, she went to the kitchen to make tea. When she brought the tea upstairs, he took the opportunity to take his leave.

She grabbed hold of him and whispered, “Don’t go, Mr. Li. Who d’you think that is? That’s her husband. They’ve come back from the temple together. I told him there’s a lady caller upstairs, so he won’t be coming up. He’ll go soon. Please, Mr. Li, sit for a while. Sorry about this.”

“That’s her husband? No kidding?” He was astonished.

“There you have it.”

“What if he insists on coming upstairs?” he asked after a moment of reflection.

“Don’t worry, Mr. Li, he won’t dare come up. Even if he does, with me here it won’t matter.”

He returned to his seat in silence. Third Sister went downstairs again to see to things, and after a while the young man did leave. Perfection saw him to the door and then returned to the kitchen and talked in whispers with Third Sister. Only after that did she come upstairs to keep Pragmatic company.

“Was that your husband?” he asked.

She smiled but said nothing. He pressed the question. “Why would you want to ask about him?” she said, vexed.

“What’s wrong with asking you about your husband? No one’s going to snatch him away, so why are you so upset?”

“I don’t want you to ask!”

“Aiyo! So you have a husband, and he’s so precious no one’s allowed even to ask about him!” he said teasingly.

She reached out and pinched him on the thigh. He cried out in pain.

“D’you dare say that again?”

“No, I’ll say no more, I promise,” he said repeatedly. She finally let go after that.

He went on grinning, as if nothing had happened. “This husband of yours is excellent though: he’s young, he’s got a handsome face; even his clothes look nice and spruce. You’re so lucky!”

Hearing this, she jumped on him and, with the full weight of her body, pressed him down on the opium divan and started tickling him, scratching and poking his armpits with both hands. He laughed until he choked, his mouth dribbling saliva, but there was no getting rid of her. Fortunately Third Sister came in just then to ask about lunch. Perfection retreated in some confusion.

Third Sister Zhu helped him to sit up and said smiling, “So, you’re ticklish, too, Mr. Li? It so happens her husband’s the same.”

“Here you go speaking of her husband again. It’s because I mentioned him that she got angry and horsed around with me.”

“What did you say about her husband that made her angry?”

“I said he’s nice, nothing else.”

“That’s what you said, but she probably thought you were being sly and were making fun of her, right?”

He nodded smiling and stole a glance at Perfection. She was sitting perfectly upright by the window, her head lowered and her lips pouting. She pretended to be cleaning her nails but was so embarrassed that her face was flushed red and shiny as a mirror. He dropped the subject.

“What would you have for lunch, Mr. Li?” Third Sister asked. “I’ll go and order it.”

He named two dishes offhand. She went to order them right away.

Having smoked a couple of opium pellets, he told Perfection to sit near him and chat. She fished out a slip of paper from her pocket; it was a fortune-telling poem.1 She handed it over for him to see and then asked him to interpret it.

“D’you want to know if your business will be good?” he asked.

“You really are sly. What business? We’re not in business,” she berated him.

“Then is it about your husband?”

She stood up abruptly, arms akimbo. He hastily left his seat to get away from her, begging to be let off. She took the opportunity to snatch back the poem. “I don’t want you to interpret it anymore.”

He held out a hand for it, grinning shamelessly. “Don’t be angry. Let me read it for you.”

At this, she threw the poem down on the table and turned her face away, saying, “I won’t listen.”

Pragmatic Li was rather put out by this. After a moment of reflection, he said earnestly, “Though this is marked ‘middling,’ the message given in the poem sounds good. Even the most auspicious stick will say no better.”

Hearing this, she turned around to look at the poem; it was indeed marked “middling.” He took the opportunity to come over and point things out.

“Look at this, doesn’t it sound good?”

“What does it say? Read it out for me.”

“OK, I’ll do that.” He picked up the poem and, leaving out the four lines in the beginning, just read the four lines of commentary:

Come the matchmaker and the marriage is made,

Come the physician and the illness is cured;

Though the traveler is not yet home,

The missing article’s safety is assured.

When he had finished, she was still bemused. He then explained it to her line by line.

“What’s ‘come-the-physician’?” she asked.

“It means getting a doctor. Once you get a doctor, the illness is cured.”

“Where do I find the doctor?”

“That it doesn’t say. What illness do you have that you need a doctor?”

“Nothing,” she said evasively.

“If you want a doctor, ask me. I have a friend who’s a really wonderful doctor. Even with the rarest and strangest cases, he only needs to feel your pulse, and he’ll know all about it. Shall I ask him to come?”

“What do I want a doctor for? I’m not sick.”

“Well, you asked about where to find the doctor, so I wondered if you wanted to see one. I wouldn’t have mentioned it if you hadn’t asked in the first place.”

She saw the joke was on her and made no reply. Just then Third Sister came back with the food and served lunch, so his intention of questioning Perfection further had to be shelved.

He decided to go to the House of Floral Rain after lunch for a smoke. Instead of pressing him to stay, Perfection urged him, “Come back early and have supper here. I’ll be waiting.” He promised as he went downstairs. Third Sister repeated the invitation a couple of times as she saw him out.

Leaving Great Prosperity Alley, he strolled eastward along Fourth Avenue. At the junction with Generosity Alley he saw four of his friends sauntering toward him. They were none other than Prosperity Luo, Lotuson Wang, Amity Zhu, and Mallow Yao. Before he had time to greet them, Mallow Yao had grabbed hold of him, exclaiming, “Wonderful! Come along.”

Pragmatic’s attempts at refusing were brushed aside. He was dragged by Mallow Yao into Sunset’s house in Generosity Alley. He saw hanging in the parlor a painting depicting some deities, and four groups of Taoists were seated facing each other, reciting treasured scrolls.2 The incense smoke that filled the room and the sound of cymbals and drums told Pragmatic Li half the story. Mallow Yao invited everyone upstairs, and Sunset welcomed them into her room. As soon as they were seated, Mallow Yao told the servant girl, Clever, “Shout down the stairs: ‘set the table.’”

“I’ve just had lunch. I’m too full to eat,” said Pragmatic Li.

“We’ve all just had lunch! If you’re too full, just sit for a while and chat,” Mallow Yao replied.

“I suppose Pragmatic is in need of a smoke, no?” said Amity Zhu.

“We do have opium here,” said Sunset.

Pragmatic Li yielded priority to the others.

“Please go ahead. We were all smoking just a while ago,” said Lotuson Wang.

Pragmatic knew there was no getting away, so he went over to the divan and started smoking.

Mallow Yao went to write the call chits, starting with the two girls for Prosperity Luo and Amity Zhu. He then asked Lotuson Wang, “Are you going to call both of them?”

Lotuson hastily signaled the negative with a wave of his hand. “Just call Little Rouge.”

When it came to Pragmatic Li’s turn, everybody said in unison before he could speak, “It’s Bright Pearl, naturally!” He was going to stop them, but Mallow Yao had already written and dispatched the chit. Yao then gave orders for hot towels to be served immediately.

Pragmatic Li, who had only consumed three pellets of opium, was far from satisfied. He asked Mallow Yao, “If you want to drink, you’ve got the whole night ahead of you. What’s the hurry?”

“Well, there’s no hurry at all,” Prosperity Luo put in smiling. “It’ll just be a little hard on his knees, that’s all. Otherwise he can be as late as he wants.”

Pragmatic Li did not understand the joke, but Mallow Yao was embarrassed and tried to explain his hurry, “It’s because of the occasion. There’s a religious ceremony here today. If we finish dinner early, later, when the other guests come to give their party, the room will be available, right?”

Sunset broke in, “Who wants you to vacate the room? If you want to dine later, you’re free to do so.” She immediately turned around to give instructions to Clever, “Go tell them downstairs not to send out the call chits just yet. Dinner won’t start till later.”

Clever, who had no idea what it was about, made an affirmative noise and turned to go. Mallow Yao stopped her hastily, saying, “Never mind. The table is already set.”

“Well, the table can wait,” Sunset responded.

“Actually, I’m starving, so we might as well eat now,” said Mallow Yao.

“But you said you just had lunch. What about getting some dim sum to tide you over?” She told Clever to get the dim sum.

Mallow Yao was at the end of his wits. He pleaded in a low voice, “Don’t make things difficult for me. Let me off this time, please.”

Sunset snickered. “Then why did you use me as your excuse? Did I tell you to have dinner early?”

“No, no, you didn’t.”

Only then did she drop the subject, but she still muttered, “Lots of people are afraid of their wives, but never to this extent. You’re a rarity indeed!”

At this, everybody burst out laughing. His cover blown, Mallow Yao had no choice but to put on a brave face and grin. Fortunately, at that moment the menservants came in with hot towels, so he invited everyone to take their seats for dinner.

After the wine had gone three rounds, Green Phoenix, Little Rouge, and White Fragrance arrived one after the other. Bright Pearl was the last to come. Amity Zhu pointed at Pragmatic Li and said, “He’s jealous of His Honor, Mr. Li. Just now he didn’t want to call you.”

Bright Pearl replied, “Why would he be jealous of His Honor? The reason he wouldn’t call me was not jealousy. He must have found someone who suits him. He wanted to call somebody else—understand?”

“Who did I want to call then?”

“How would I know?” Bright Pearl retorted.

Pragmatic Li just smiled in embarrassment.

Lotuson Wang said with a smile, “Clients are in such a difficult position. If you don’t call a girl for three days, she’ll talk nonsense and say you’ve been seeing somebody else. They’re all like that.”

Little Rouge, who was sitting behind him, put in an icy rejoinder, “It’s not all nonsense, though.”

Prosperity Luo laughed uproariously. “Come, of course it’s nonsense! The clients talk nonsense and the courtesans talk nonsense. Let’s start drinking and forget all this nonsense!”

Mallow Yao cheered and told Clever to fetch big cups, whereupon they started the finger game and made a racket. It was sundown when the drinking came to an end and the girls left.

Knowing that Mallow Yao had to go home early, Prosperity Luo did not dare drink his fill. He turned his cup upside down and pleaded intoxication, so Mallow Yao called for congee to be served. But Pragmatic Li took his leave without having any. Lotuson Wang and Amity Zhu had a token mouthful and then said good-bye, hurrying off to get a smoke. Prosperity Luo was the only one who took two bowls of congee. After that, he wiped his face, rinsed his mouth, and made to go. Mallow Yao wanted to leave with him, but Sunset held on to him, saying, “My guests for the party haven’t come yet. Why are you vacating the room already?”

“They’ll be here soon,” he answered with a smile.

“Even then they can sit in the little mezzanine room. You just sit here. There’s no need for you to vacate the room.”

He saluted her, bowing deeply in apology. After that, he followed Prosperity Luo downstairs. The sedan-chair bearers were already waiting at the door. He said good-bye and got into his sedan chair to go home.

Instead of riding in his sedan chair, Prosperity Luo decided to walk and told the bearers to follow him. They turned south toward Green Phoenix’s. As he headed upstairs, he saw the door of the little room by the stairs was open. It was the room of the madam, Second Sister, and an old man was squatting in the doorway. Luo paid him no attention. When he got upstairs, he found that Second Sister was there. Green Phoenix sat in a corner of the room smoking a water pipe. Her face drawn and her mouth in a pout, she looked clearly displeased.

Second Sister stood up to greet him, “Mr. Luo, is the party over?”

He answered briefly and sat down. Green Phoenix just concentrated on her water pipe and said not a word. Since he did not know the cause of all this, he, too, kept quiet.

After a long silence, Green Phoenix spoke abruptly, “Think about it yourself, how old are you? Going after lovers at your age, d’you have no shame?”

Second Sister was too ashamed to defend herself. With Prosperity there, Green Phoenix could not say much more. After another pause, during which she finished smoking her water pipe, she asked him, “D’you have money on you?”

“Yes,” he answered hastily and fished out a slim leather purse from his pocket.3 He handed it to her.

She opened it and saw a lot of banknotes tucked in the compartments. She just pulled out a ten-dollar bill and handed the purse back to him. She then tossed the bill at Second Sister and shouted at her, “Now go and give it to those men again.”

Second Sister was so embarrassed she didn’t know where to look. She put the banknote away and said with a forced smile, “I won’t.”

“I won’t lecture you again. When you have nothing left, let’s see who you’re going to borrow from next.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t borrow from you, all right?” Second Sister said smiling. “Oh, thank you, Mr. Luo. Sorry to trouble you.” So saying, she went downstairs, smiling shamefacedly.

Green Phoenix was still muttering, “If only you know what it means to be sorry!”

“What does she want money for?” he asked.

She frowned. “This mother of mine is really the limit! I don’t mean to speak ill of her, but when she’s got money, she gives it to her lovers, and when she needs money herself, she comes to ask me for it. If you tell her off, she plays dumb. Scold her, beat her if you like, she’ll forget it all in a couple of days and act the same way as before. I really don’t know what to do with her.”

“Who’s her lover?”

“There’re so many of them, you just lose count. Leaving aside the old ones, she took on several new ones just recently. And at her age, too! Is there no sense left in her?”

“There’s an old man in the little room; is he her lover?”

“That old man is the tailor, Master Zhang. How could he be her lover? Just now, she came to me because she didn’t have enough money to pay the tailor’s bill.”

He brushed the matter aside with a smile. They chatted for a while, and Mama Zhao brought supper. When he said he had had dinner, Green Phoenix called in her younger sister Gold Phoenix to eat with her. Before they had finished, the menservants downstairs announced, “Summons for the eldest maestro to a party!”

“Where?” Green Phoenix called out.

“Avenue Road.”

“Coming,” she answered.

::

1. Little bamboo sticks stand in a jar at the altar of a temple. The worshiper with a problem shakes the jar until a stick falls out and then gets a printed poem that matches the number on the stick that answers the question.

2. “Treasured scrolls” are religious stories recited by Buddhist nuns or Taoist priests as a ritual.

3. Such slim purses had many compartments and were designed to be slipped into a boot. All well-to-do men wore such boots until Manchu influence declined toward the end of the dynasty.