CHAPTER 27 :: The drunk who disrupts a tryst empties his stomach, and a whore’s burning hands prove her randy nature

Together Constant Blessing and Second Kuang walked to Generosity Alley on Fourth Avenue, where they parted company. Constant Blessing went back to the Auspicious Luzon Lottery Store to report on his mission, while Second Kuang went into Grace Yang’s. Here, he learned that his master, Crane Li, though out of bed, had not yet washed. He dared not disturb him. The menservants invited Second Kuang to a casual meal in the bookkeeper’s office at the back, next to the kitchen. They warmed a pot of Shaoxing wine in his honor, and there was a big fish and lots of meat on the table. After he had eaten his fill, he saw Thrive carry a plate of fine food into Grace Yang’s room, and he hurried forward to entreat her to report his presence.

In a little while, he was summoned. Crane Li and Grace Yang were having a tête-à-tête over some wine. Second Kuang submitted Cloudlet Chen’s letter. After he had read it, Crane Li put it aside, and Second Kuang withdrew promptly. After lunch, Li’s sedan-chair bearers came to await orders. Second Kuang asked Thrive what was afoot, and the latter replied, “I heard they’re going for a carriage ride.”

Second Kuang could only sit around and wait. Little did he realize that he would be waiting till three in the afternoon for the order to summon a carriage. By then, he had seen Mallow Yao arriving in a sedan chair to see Crane Li. Li knew there had to be a reason for this visit and invited Yao into Grace Yang’s room so they could chat at leisure. Mallow Yao, however, kept beating around the bush. This made Crane Li impatient. He asked Yao if he had anything particular in mind. Mallow Yao said evasively that there wasn’t anything and asked him in turn, “What about you?” When Crane Li answered in the negative, Mallow Yao said, “Then perhaps we can go to Sunset’s for a cup of tea. What d’you think?”

Crane Li, unaware of the reasons for Yao’s suggestion, agreed quite readily. Grace Yang, who was sitting by their side, was quick on the uptake. She chuckled. Mallow Yao just let her laughter pass and urged Crane Li to put on his jacket. As they did not have far to go, neither of them took a sedan chair; they just made their way on foot to Sunset’s.

The minute they came through the door, a servant girl welcomed them with a smiling face. “What’s kept you away these last few days, Second Young Master?”

Mallow Yao smiled without answering and went straight upstairs with Crane Li.

Sunset also welcomed them with a big smile. “Why, it’s Second Young Master! You’ve been held in the police station for several days. How come you’ve been let out today?”

Mallow Yao smiled awkwardly. Crane Li, puzzled by her words, asked what she meant. She pointed to Yao, smiling. “Just ask him whether it’s true that he was hauled off by the police and shut up for several days.”

Crane Li, who had heard about the business with Mrs. Yao, now realized what this was about. He smiled and dropped the subject.

When they had all taken their seats, Sunset leaned close to Mallow Yao and asked in a whisper, “Your wife is cursing me, isn’t she?”

“Who says so?” he asked.

“Humph! Don’t you give me that nonsense. I can’t blame her if she does a bit of cursing, but you actually help her to bad-mouth me! You see, I know all about it.”

“Now you’re talking nonsense. If you know it all, tell me what she said in cursing you.”

“She was cursing all the way when she left here, so why wouldn’t she curse me when she got home?”

“She didn’t come here to pick a quarrel, in fact. I went to Wusong for three days on some important business, and they didn’t know about it at home. They thought I was here and called in to ask. When I got back and told them where I had been and that it had nothing to do with you, she didn’t say anything.”

“You say she didn’t come here to quarrel, but the minute she came in she looked black as thunder and made a real racket even before she had come upstairs, now if that wasn’t quarreling what was it?”

“Don’t let’s talk about it anymore. She had a real dressing-down from you and couldn’t get a word out herself. That should have made you feel better.”

“Honestly, since she’s a lady, I wouldn’t have gone out of my way to offend her. But when she turned up here to find fault with me, I had to give her a piece of my mind. Did I do wrong?”

“No, it was a good thing you did that, and I ought to thank you for it. If it weren’t for you, she’d have thought nobody dared offend her, and the next time she found out where I was giving a party, she’d butt in again. That’d be embarrassing, wouldn’t it?”

Sunset had meant to give him a thorough tongue-lashing, but the way he talked about the incident as well as the presence of Crane Li made her decide to be lenient with him. After a long pause, she said sarcastically, “Second Young Master, it seems to me you’re far too considerate. At home, you have to please your lady by saying bad things about me, and when you’re here, you have to say it was your lady’s fault, that she deserved to have been told off. It’s such hard work, doesn’t it make you feel miserable?”

Her words touched a sore spot, and he could find no answer, so he let them pass in silence. Crane Li tactfully changed the subject by asking, “Do you know Harmony Qi?”

“I’ve dined with him several times, so I claim a slight acquaintance. But I don’t know whether he’s in town.”

“He’s said to be here, but I haven’t run into him,” said Crane Li.

At this point, Sunset asked what they would have for tea. Mallow Yao named a couple of things offhand and kept Crane Li company at tea, after which Sunset invited Crane to smoke opium. Before they knew it, it was getting dark, and Second Kuang brought the sedan chair to fetch his master and handed him a party invitation. Crane Li saw that it was Clement Zhou asking him to Lucky You’s in Sunshine Alley. He knew it was a gambling party.

“Feel like a little amusement?” he asked Mallow Yao.

Mallow Yao excused himself, saying he did not play. Crane Li then told Second Kuang to go back to the inn and keep watch there. “If Fourth Master asks about me, just say I’m at Grace Yang’s.” Second Kuang promised to do as bade.

So Crane Li took his leave from Mallow Yao and left Sunset’s place. Second Kuang followed him to the door, saw him get in the sedan chair, and watched the chair go off before he returned to the Long Peace Inn on Pebble Road. After supper, he took advantage of Fourth Master’s continued absence, locked the door, and sneaked off to Third Pan’s in Security Alley off Fourth Avenue. Here he knocked lightly on the door three times with the brass knocker. The maid called out in answer and opened the door. He learned that Third Pan was home and without company. Overjoyed, he ducked his head and dived into the room.

Third Pan was lying on the couch smoking opium. Knowing it was Second Kuang, she closed her eyes and pretended to be fast asleep. He went up quietly, lay on top of her, and kissed her on the mouth. She still ignored him. So he put out a hand to feel her all over, touching every inch of her body. This made Third Pan impatient. She opened her eyes and said smiling, “You! What’re you up to?”

Feeling pleased, he made no excuses. Instead, he pushed the opium tray aside, pressed his cheek against hers, and asked, “Is it true that Verdure Xu doesn’t come here anymore?”

“Whether he comes or not is none of your business. Why d’you ask about him?”

“I told you, it won’t do!”

“Listen, my original client was a man named Xia. He brought Xu here, and then Xu brought you along. It’s all the same to me. Why won’t it do?”

Just as his hand was led to its target, and the squeezing and rubbing made way for the real entrance, suddenly there was a loud banging at the door.

“Who is it?” the maid shouted from within.

The man outside answered, “It’s me.”

It sounded like Verdure Xu. Alarmed and flustered, Second Kuang got up to hide himself.

Third Pan grabbed him. “What d’you think you’re doing?”

He held up a hand in protest, saying, “It won’t do! It won’t do!” and managed to struggle free and tiptoed upstairs. It was pitch-dark there. He groped around and found a high-back chair, where he sat down, cocked his ears, and listened. He heard the maid open the door. Verdure Xu was alone and already dead drunk. He threw up copiously right at the door and then staggered into the room. Third Pan said in an angry voice, “Where did you go for a binge? Now that you’re drunk, you think you can come here to throw a fit?”

Verdure Xu dared not say anything. The maid tried to smooth things over and got him a cup of hot tea. He wanted to smoke opium.

“We do have opium here. Help yourself,” said Third Pan.

“You fill a pipe for me.”

“You know where to go to get drunk, and you don’t know how to fill a pipe?”

He jumped up and shouted, “Have you taken up with an actor? Is that why you’re tired of me?”

She shouted back at him, “Who’s tired of you? And even if I take up with an actor, who are you to say anything?”

At this, he couldn’t help laughing.

Upstairs, Second Kuang guessed that Xu would not be leaving anytime soon and thought he’d better make himself scarce. He tiptoed down the stairs and on second thought went to the kitchen at the back and whispered to the maid, “I’m going.”

Taken by surprise, the maid grabbed the lapel of his jacket, saying, “Don’t go!”

“I’ll come tomorrow,” he said, agitated.

Still she would not let go. “No! If you go, Miss is going to scold me later.”

“Then go and call Miss here. I have something to say to her.”

Not knowing it was a ruse, the maid went to call Third Pan. He took the opportunity to dash into the little courtyard, slide open the door bolt, and bound out of the house. By mischance, he trod in the vomit of wine and food Verdure Xu had brought up, lost his balance, and fell. Scrambling up, he did not even turn to look back but made his way directly back to the Long Peace Inn.

The attendant at the inn presented him with two invitation cards. He saw that it was Cloudlet Chen inviting his two masters to dinner the next day at Clever Gem’s in Co-security Alley. Since it was not urgent, he just put them away. He figured that as Eldest Young Master would gamble all night and Fourth Master was engrossed with his new love, neither of them would be coming back, so he just shut the door and went to bed.

Lying there, he thought of Third Pan. With consummation so near, what rotten luck it was to have it all spoiled by an archenemy! Now there was nothing left for him but desolation all night long. Then he thought of Eldest Young Master spending all that money on Grace Yang, and she was not even as affectionate as Third Pan. Then his thoughts turned to Fourth Master, who had picked up a streetwalker. That was a real bargain, and there was no knowing what fun he was having just now! With his mind jumping from one thing to the next, how could Second Kuang sleep? His brooding led to resentment, and his resentment to jealousy. A fine thing Fourth Master has done, and keeping it from everyone, too! Why, I’ll blow his cover and see how he’s going to face me.

His mind made up, the next morning Second Kuang got up and washed, braided his pigtail, had breakfast, and then waited till nine o’clock before he took Cloudlet Chen’s invitation to Great Prosperity Alley west of Fourth Avenue. He walked up to the terrace house and gave it another looking over before he emboldened himself to knock on the door. The same old woman he had seen the day before opened the door. The minute she set eyes on him, she demanded imperiously, “What’re you doing there?”

“Is Fourth Master here?” he said in a ringing voice. “Eldest Young Master told me to come and look in on him.”

At the words “Fourth Master,” the old woman was stopped in her tracks. She dared not be rude, just told him to wait, and then hurried upstairs to tell Pragmatic Li in a low voice. Pragmatic was on the opium divan, his morning appetite not yet sated. Astonished at Third Sister Chu’s report, he came downstairs to see for himself.

“Fourth Master,” Second Kuang greeted him and submitted Cloudlet Chen’s invitation.

With shame written all over his face, Pragmatic, instead of looking at the invitation, asked Second Kuang with a smile, “How did you know I was here?”

Before he could answer, Third Sister clapped her hands and laughed. “Why, he came yesterday with you, Fourth Master. Didn’t you know that?” As she said this, she pointed at Second Kuang, chuckling. “T’was a good thing I didn’t give you a mouthful yesterday. The questions you asked were so strange, I thought you probably knew something about us; otherwise, I’d have boxed your ears for you.”

Pragmatic, smiling sheepishly, took the invitation card and went upstairs again. Second Kuang was about to withdraw when Third Sister Chu said gushingly, “Now that you’re here, why be in such a hurry to leave? Please come in and rest for a while.” She took him by the arm and steered him into the parlor. Having installed him in a high-back chair, she presented him with a water pipe and poured him a cup of ready-made tea. Then she questioned him about all manner of things, showing the most friendly concern. In turn, he asked how their business was. At this, she drew close to him and told him a long story in a low voice, “We weren’t in business originally, you know. But something happened earlier this year, and things became difficult for us. That was why we got into the business. And for the first guest we were so lucky to run into Fourth Master. He’s a respectable man, and he doesn’t like things that are just for show. A place like ours, honest and clean, suits Fourth Master very well. But now that we have Fourth Master’s patronage, other people are envious of our good fortune, and they say a lot of bad things about us to Fourth Master. We’re really an honest place, but they say we’re cheats; we’re a clean place, but they say we’re filthy. Such rumors make me mad! Though Fourth Master doesn’t listen to them now, we’re still a bit uneasy. What if he should listen to them one day and stop coming here? We haven’t got another client; aren’t we going to starve to death, mother and daughter? That’s why I’d like to ask you, Master Kuang, to put it to Fourth Master that he shouldn’t listen to gossip. Coming from you, Master Kuang, it’d carry more weight.”

As he had no idea what the true situation was, he readily agreed. They had a long talk before he finally got up to say good-bye. She saw him to the door and said, “Do come and visit when you’re free.” He blandly assented and left.

Third Sister closed the door, went upstairs, and as usual asked Pragmatic Li for his choice of dishes for lunch. Although Perfection Chu ate with him, she was on a diet for reasons of health. She did not eat restaurant food but kept him company on vegetable dishes.

After dinner, he went as usual to smoke opium at the House of Floral Rain. The waiter had reserved a divan for him and filled a pipe in advance. After he had been smoking for a while, other customers arrived. The place was soon full, but an endless stream of new customers kept coming in. Suddenly, he saw Old Mrs. Filial Guo come groping in again, her eyes in a tight squint. Having met him once, she had found out all about him. Groping her way to the divan, she asked, all smiles, “Been to Perfection’s place?”

He just nodded. The waiter, seeing that she was striking up a conversation with Pragmatic, dashed over, sat down on the humbler side of the divan, and fixed her with a beady eye. She snorted at him and walked away with her head bent. The waiter lay down to toast opium for Pragmatic and asked, “How did you get to know this Old Mrs. Filial Guo?”

“I saw her at Third Sister Chu’s.”

“Then Third Sister Chu’s at fault,” said the waiter. “Why would she still want to be friends with such vermin? You may think she’s harmless because she’s old and her eyes have gone blind, but she’s still quite an operator. This woman is bad news.”

Smiling, Pragmatic asked why.

“Only the year before last, she managed to talk a young lady from a Ningbo family into leaving home and going into the business in the foreign settlements. She was arrested by the county officials, charged with abduction, and given two hundred lashes of the cane and a life sentence. But somebody put in a good word for her, and she was let out.”

Pragmatic had no idea that she was such a hardened criminal; he could not help sighing over it. The waiter finished preparing his pellets, handed him the pipe, and went to attend to other customers. By the time Pragmatic had finished the opium in his box, he saw that the customers were thinning out, so he joined the departing stream. Instead of going to dinner at Clever Gem’s or returning to the Long Peace Inn, he headed straight to Perfection’s.

Ever since he had started seeing Perfection, he had stayed for the night every five days and kept it a secret. Now that he had been seen by Second Kuang, there was no need for concealment, and he went so far as to tarry for ten days without returning to the inn. Second Kuang, who paid him a daily visit, sometimes came across Perfection with her face flushed pink and dark circles under her eyes.¹ He became suspicious and told his master Crane Li of his worries, but Crane Li did not give it much credit.

One day early in the fourth month, the weather suddenly turned warm. Pragmatic Li had just come back from the House of Floral Rain and had barely sat down when he heard the sound of the front door opening again. It was Second Kuang, who came in and announced, “Eldest Young Master is here.”

Alarmed, Third Sister Chu was just going to ask Pragmatic for instructions when Crane Li strolled in without further ado. She had no choice but to welcome him with a smiling face. “Fourth Master is upstairs.”

Crane Li told Second Kuang to wait in the parlor and went up himself to see his uncle. Perfection also got up and greeted “Eldest Young Master”. She then stepped to one side, standing there awkwardly and ill at ease. Pragmatic asked Crane Li where he had come from.

“I’ve been for a carriage ride,” Crane Li answered.

“Then where’s Grace?” asked Pragmatic.

“They went home first.”

During the conversation, Third Sister brought tea for Crane Li in a lidded cup. She then took a high-stemmed glass dish, wiped it clean, scooped a handful of watermelon seeds from a clay jar under the bed, and handed the dish to Perfection. Perfection had no choice but to offer it shyly to Crane Li. He had decided to take a good look at her, and his close examination made her cringe. As there was nowhere for her to hide, she blushed intensely, all the way down to her neck. Sensing this, Pragmatic tried to distract Crane Li by making conversation.

“Have you been busy on the social circuit the last couple of days?” he asked.

“It hasn’t been too bad. But with the end-of-season rituals starting now, there’ll be dinner parties at every house.”

Perfection took this opportunity to sneak out into the anteroom, but Third Sister dragged her back and made her keep the others company. Third Sister then went behind the bed, fished out a string of coins, and started counting them. Seeing this, Pragmatic asked, “What’s that for?” To which she did not reply.

“Are you going to buy dim sum for tea?” he asked.

“Please don’t bother; I just had tea,” Crane Li hastened to say.

“It’s only right that I get something for you,” a smiling Third Sister said and turned to go.

Pragmatic stopped her, saying, “Wait, there’s really no need to get anything for tea. Why don’t you get two packs of cigarettes instead?”

Third Sister made an affirmative noise and went downstairs.

“I’ve got my own cigarettes,” Crane Li said.

“I know you do, but just let her buy some more. She’d feel uneasy if she weren’t allowed to get you anything at all.” The remark made Perfection more ashamed than ever.

By the time Third Sister Chu came back with the cigarettes, it was lamp-lighting time. Having run out of things to say, Crane Li got up and took his leave.

“Where’re you off to?” Pragmatic asked.

“To dinner at East Co-prosperity Alley. It’s Lotuson Wang’s party.”

Hearing this, Perfection hurried forth to help press him to stay longer. Crane Li took this opportunity to touch her hand, and sure enough her palm was burning hot.² She and Pragmatic saw him out to the head of the staircase.

When he got to the ground floor, Third Sister dashed out of the kitchen, all flustered, pleading, “Please don’t go, Eldest Young Master! Do stay for a simple supper here.”

“Thanks, I’m going out to a dinner party.”

Knowing she could not detain him, Third Sister saw him out, with Second Kuang following behind. At the door, she was still apologizing, “I’m afraid we haven’t served you properly, Eldest Young Master.”

“Don’t be so modest,” Crane Li said with a smile. With Second Kuang behind him, he walked out of Great Prosperity Alley and headed eastward. At the junction with Pebble Road, he told Second Kuang to summon the sedan chair. Second Kuang went off by himself while Crane Li walked on alone to Constance’s in East Co-prosperity Alley, where the guests had all arrived. The host, Lotuson Wang, ordered hot towels to be brought to them.

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1. [Signs that she is suffering from sexually transmitted diseases. E.H.]

2. [Another good indication that Perfection suffers from venereal disease. E.H.]