Nine

Prayers, Offerings,
Dreams, and Spells

In my research and interviews, I’ve identified four esoteric areas that may be impacted by, and can impact, the relationship with depression. I have lumped these together loosely into the acronym “PODS,” which stands for prayer, offerings, dreams, and spells. These categories are not entirely distinct, nor is each one expressed in the same proportion on every religious path. What’s important is to be able to observe how these factors play in one’s own life, and how it changes over time, as a way to understand and manage that relationship.

Prayers

Under “prayer” falls a form of communication that is quite controversial in pagan circles. Two powerful Wiccans I have known helped me understand the poles of thinking on the issue. One of my earliest teachers was a Wiccan initiate, and in a letter I confided how uneasy I was with the way a fellow student appeared to put on airs. In the response, I was reminded that pride comes before a fall, and “it is on our knees that we best pray.” On the other side is the late Judy Harrow, founder of the Protean tradition, who once in my presence at a conference talked about a particularly difficult situation that seemed like it had no resolution. “In thirty years as a witch, it was the first time I thought to pray,” Harrow said at the time. Later Harrow explained to me that this was because of Gardinerian teachers who had impressed the idea that magic is used to change the world and solve problems; praying “feels like begging,” which is why Harrow would never have thought of it first.

That idea of “begging” is not entirely wrong. In How to Heal Yourself When No One Else Can, Amy B. Scher refers to prayer as “graceful begging.” 44 What Harrow saw as prayer’s weakness, Scher frames as its strength. Given that depression brings with it feelings of hopelessness and helplessness, I do not personally see a downside to a little begging. It may be for some readers that—like Harrow—prayer is going to be one of the very last tools tried, but that only means it’s not the right tool just yet. Be familiar with it, because it may come in handy.

Prayer also has some research backing up its effects, even if scientists haven’t exactly quantified why it works. Psychiatrist Bick Wanck writes about the work of Dawson Church, who “concluded, ‘In order for prayer and intentionality to be powerful, it must be deeply personal and sincerely engaged.’ As you might expect, prayer works best when you really mean it.” 45

Neither Harrow nor Scher seem to be referring to the notion of reciting a memorized or written verse. What’s inferred is spontaneous, or at least extemporaneous, exposition. Reciting prayers is certainly a form of praying, but not all praying is reciting prayers. Prayers can stack up, can be counted, and have a plural, while praying is an uncountable act that simply lasts until it’s done. In Hellenic tradition, prayers—the writing and the reciting of them—can be offerings, and praying might be anything from adoration to supplication. I think both can be handy. I introduced this prayer to do one small thing in the section about food, but I find it helps whenever a task that is sometimes easy feels completely out of reach.

EXERCISE

Prayer to Do One Small Thing

What you’ll do:

  1. Identify a task that is sometimes easy to do, but at the moment feels overwhelming.
  2. Recite this prayer:

    Shining ones, if you will it,
    may I see past the fog
    to do this small thing.

  3. Begin the task right away.
  4. If you continue to have difficulty, repeat the prayer as necessary as you work through the task.
  5. Sometimes the task is too big at the moment. If you fall short, forgive yourself and schedule a time to try again. Ask for help if needed.
  6. When you complete the task, make a record of it in a journal, or confide in a pet, or tell a trusted friend to ensure that you remember this victory.

When you recite the prayer to do one small thing, do the thing right then, or at least try to do the thing immediately. Recite it like a mantra as you work through the task. It’s okay if you fall short of doing the thing right now. When you’re ready, try again.

I made that prayer short because I wanted it to be easy to copy down and keep in one’s wallet, perhaps, or to memorize. Readers who keep something of a regular practice might have longer prayers memorized. I have several that I use in my daily devotions, and if I get that feeling that an invisible fist is suddenly closing around my spirit, I find I can draw strength by reciting a litany of epithets of Poseidon, for example. It matters less what the words mean and more that it evokes your relationship with one or more deities or universal forces. (I try to be inclusive in my language. I am a theist through and through, and I do draw strength from those relationships, but I don’t think you need to conceive of discrete and individual gods to achieve the same benefits.)

Here are a couple of hymns I have written to my patron deity, Poseidon, that I sometimes use as prayers during dark times:

Poseidon’s Hope

Darkness.
Deeper than the eye can plumb,
yet still rippling, still roiling,
pulsing from ink to pitch and back.
Too deep for words.

Pressure.
Like a fist that can crush an egg
but not a stone,
that can drive air from lungs
and force ideas to flee.

Hope.
In the depths beyond the sun’s reach,
In the crucible that reshapes rock,
In places where drowning is unimagined
as air itself is not known,
Life.

Light.
Skotitas rules the depths,
and bids the fish live.
Skotitas rules the depths,
and his subjects bring light.

Light is hope.
Light is a promise.
Praise Poseidon, by whose will
we shall never dwell in darkness.46

Prayer for Those Adrift

What brought them to the rolling seas
was violence, force, a striking change.
What made these humans refugees
may feel fantastic, even strange.

Pelagaeus Poseidon
within your grasp they float,
lives reduced to mere detritus
small and helpless, but a mote.

To board a raft, a boat, a ship,
a transaction in the night,
is to throw the dice in desperation,
on one side fright, beside it plight.

In your hands they place their beings,
though your name’s not likely known
or they’d beg for all safe passage
beyond Epaktaios’ throne.

On their behalf, I ask safe passage
for those adrift and lost,
the vulnerable, the hungry,
in every way the storm-tossed.

May the blessings of a glass-calm sea
fall upon the drifting masses.
As secure as Asphaleios,
feeling not the briny lashes.

But for those whose fate is not to land
upon a peaceful shore,
and instead will know Skotitas
in the murky depths of yore,

Should Labrandeus decree
that their journey’s end is nigh,
and bid Poseidon Psychopompos
guide them where and tell them why,

May their final breath be sweet,
fear and pain evaporate,
and may they have descendants
their names to venerate.47

Prayer of the extemporaneous sort is more likely to include the aforementioned “graceful begging.” Whether it’s pleading or positioning, confession or catharsis, this is a chance to take some of what’s eating at one’s insides and pull it out for inspection. Even for an ardent atheist, this has value the same way that keeping a journal might—but without there being a record of those thoughts. This is an opportunity to examine and process emotions that might be blocking healing. Anyone who believes in a compassionate or abundant universe, or who suspects that the universe is making life difficult on purpose, may find that the process of prayer helps put one’s feelings about the universe in perspective. It’s hard to accept that one is significant enough to be singled out for suffering, yet also insignificant enough never to be cut a single break. The truth is almost always more nuanced than that. If you believe in gods, you have a ready line of communication with those gods through prayer, albeit a one-way line. How we receive messages from the gods can vary, but I find that it’s often easier to start a conversation than wait for the other party to be in the mood. Don’t be afraid to be the one to make the call. Open your heart and tell them what you need them to hear.

Prayer is challenging to research using the scientific method, but a 2009 study led the authors to conclude, “Direct contact person-to-person prayer may be useful as an adjunct to standard medical care for patients with depression and anxiety.” 48 It might be interesting to repeat this study using people who follow religions wherein science is considered a gift from the gods, rather than an affront to them.

Offerings

These categories are loose and flowing, which is why prayers can sometimes be offerings. Offerings are another form of communication, but while prayer is usually words, offerings are gestures. Giving someone a gift is a nice gesture. Receiving gifts can feel good, too. Giving freely and without expectation of something in return is a really nice place to be. That isn’t to say that wanting something in return is greedy, although expecting something specific in return doesn't mean that this is not a gift. Offerings are a form of reciprocity. This is not a transaction with immediate payment, or terms agreed upon with the help of lawyers. In a healthy reciprocal relationship, gifts are received by all parties. These relationships are not necessarily direct ones either. My mother may give me food, and I give my younger sibling attention. The same is true when the reciprocity is with gods. I know that I have blessings in my life. I also know that I make offerings to certain gods. I thank the gods for my blessings, but I cannot always attribute any particular instance of good fortune to any god at all. I don’t make offerings as bribes. If you want to ask for something specific, see “prayer.”

EXERCISE

Make a List of Offerings

What you’ll need: a writing implement and writing surface.

What you’ll do:

  1. Take several cleansing breaths.
  2. Bring up memories of times you have celebrated gods, spirits, or the wonder of life.
  3. Write down as many possible offerings that come to mind, including ones you’ve made in the past, as well as ones you’ve heard others have made and any others that rise in your mind. Do not judge the suggestions, simply jot them down as quickly as you can.
  4. Review the list, eliminating offerings you cannot easily obtain.
  5. Make a plan to obtain one or more items on your final list to use as offerings in the future.

Dreams

Depending on one’s perspective, dreams are either mental detritus being cleared away, or communications with the unconscious part of the mind. I do not think either interpretation rules out messages from gods arriving in dreams. However, dreams can be quieted or darkened in depression, making it more challenging to use them as a resource. Instead of fretting over months or years without recalling a single dream, accept that a forgotten dream does no harm. Disturbing dreams can be unsettling. I find myself particularly bothered by being startled awake by my pounding heart, yet unable to recall what had wrenched me from sleep. Recurring dreams are a sign of some unresolved, stressful situation that needs to be addressed. It may be something obvious, like an upcoming test or job performance review, but it could be coming from someplace deeper. Recurring dreams are worth mentioning to a therapist.49

I think the presence and quality of recalled dreams is itself a tool. If dreams go away or begin to be more troubling while in depression, then returning or more pleasant dreams might signal an end to that period. If gods are going to use dreams as a vehicle then they certainly can during depression, but they may choose to avoid it at this time. Some gods become more present to some adherents during depression, but I don’t have any information about how they use dreams in those relationships. Dreams might just not be a particularly smooth road through depression, for gods and mortals alike. Keeping a dream journal might be instructive, or at least help put the bad ones out of the mind for now.

EXERCISE

Keep a Dream Journal

What you’ll need:

What you’ll do:

  1. Place your dream journal near your bedside, someplace you’re likely to see it immediately upon waking.
  2. Schedule a regular bedtime for yourself, and commit to disconnecting from all screens half an hour ahead of that time.
  3. When you retire, ask the universe or your gods to send you a dream, and to allow you to recall it.
  4. If upon waking you do recall any snippets of a dream, write down as much detail as you can before doing anything else—even going to the bathroom may be enough to forget the experience.
  5. If you do not recall any dreams, rest assured that you did dream.
  6. Repeat the above steps each night and morning.

There is no requirement to look over your dream journal, but it can be curious reading if you decide to take the plunge. Depending on your point of view, these might be silly nonsense stemming from neurons firing, or they may be messages from a part of yourself or from another being that could be important. I cannot give a definitive answer, but I suspect that all of these are always true in some proportion.

Spells

Spells, like prayer, are not something that resonates with every pagan. When I first discovered that magic and psychic development were a central part of witchcraft, I was actually a bit disappointed, because I wanted to be on a path to discover the gods, and the do-it-yourself model of magic was a little bit terrifying for me. I knew that I wasn’t ready to wield such a powerful tool, and steered clear of magic until I had more age and perspective. Like Joshua Tenpenny, I do not see magic as central to my religious practice, but it is an important part of the practice for many others. One advantage of having magic be central to a religious path is that the ethics are built right in as part of that religion. In fact, the main reason I avoided magic when I was younger is because my Wiccan teachers impressed upon me that I was responsible for what I brought into the world.

Spells work during depression, but it can be like flying blind. As both Ivo Dominguez, Jr. and Courtney Weber attest, magic isn’t impacted by depression. If someone has the training and has developed the discipline for practicing magic, depression will not take that away because magic isn’t based on belief any more than physics is. Just as a blindfolded soldier can field-strip a firearm, a trained practitioner can still cast a spell. Muscle memory might not be the best way to describe it, but the conscious mind does not need to be engaged if other channels run deep enough. This may not be a good time to learn magic, but if you have some mastery it is not going to disappear. “I have had power even when I don’t believe in it,” said Weber, recalling a time of being talked into working magic to help someone sell a house, but “I wasn’t feeling it. I put together a spell involving a candle and some chili peppers just to show support to the person, and the house burned to the ground the next week.” It reminded her of her love and awe for magic.

“Depression and magic can coincide,” Dominguez said. “I’ve had my own bouts, as have many; the world is grey, food isn’t as good, nothing’s as lively.” During peak moments of magic, “it’s the reverse,” with colors seeming brighter and hyper-realistic. There is a “melding a blurring, everything more united, yet sharper in focus.” Nevertheless, “In my twenties, I did significant useful magic despite barely being able to drag myself out of bed.” This was possible when it was to help another person. He said it “depends on the nature of the person and their temperament. I have a strong sense of duty to others, and regardless of how exhausted, depressed, down in dumps I am, for a real need I can.” On the other hand, “For myself, forget about it.” Asked to elaborate, Dominguez said, “It’s very hard, I find, to do effective magic for oneself if there is no sense of connection to the beauty and power I experience when I do magic.” However, working a spell for someone in need can have its own benefits. “There is a short respite afterwards for me,” he said, which could be “sense of accomplishment, or maybe a dopamine-serotonin dance, but I get relief from it.”

For those of a different temperament or level of training than Dominguez, there can be depression of sensitivity to the flow of energy, there can be a depression of motivation to work magic, and there can be a depression in belief that it’s even worth the effort, but that doesn’t mean that magic is itself suppressed, according to Dominguez. “If you do the things to focus the mind and move the energy, it will work whether or not you feel it. If you’ve developed the practice of doing it, it will happen. Musicians can perform beautifully when feeling like crap, and a lack of depression does not make better musicians,” nor does confidence alone grant them skill. The idea that depression blocks magic can in part be tied to New Age practices that have entered Paganism. Belief in magic is not necessary; skill in magic is necessary. It’s not an issue “if you have developed the craft. The part of you that’s depressed is not the totality if your self-hood, it’s just the waking consciousness. Other parts know how to do magic too.”

While Dominguez is clear that belief has nothing to do with how magic works, losing belief in yourself can make it harder to sort laundry, much less work up the motivation to cast a spell. Depression’s interference with magic should not come as a surprise. As Orion Foxwood observed, it can arrive at periods of transition, liminal points when barriers are thin. Those are also the best times for magic, according to some practitioners. Kirk White, for example, teaches that lining up liminal aspects can enhance a spell. Performing it at sunrise or sunset on a solstice while standing in a doorway during a new moon, for example. We become susceptible to depression when we exceed our stress threshold—a line that’s unfortunately invisible—and working magic contributes to stress as much as any other exertion. It may not be coincidence that magic also can coincide with transitions.

To be clear, the interference is in how well we perceive the work, which isn’t the same as hampering our skills. “Even people that do a lot of [magic] tend to forget that most of their capacity is not vested in the small fragment that interacts in mundane life. Our personality [and] sense of self is about as much as the key to the car; we are not the motor. Sometimes just being able to take the key out and turn it takes all that you’ve got,” Dominguez said. However, just because I think I could drive home from the office with my eyes closed doesn’t mean I really want to test that idea. Magic works as much as it always has, but it’s not a bad idea to proceed with caution for that reason.

Let’s consider some spells one might work that target the relationship with depression itself. As readers may recall from part one, depression is shifty and tries to avoid being pinned down by a definition. These spells include assumptions about the nature of depression which are sometimes at odds with one another. Choose only those spells that speak to your own relationship with depression.

EXERCISE

Binding Depression

This spell uses a physical object to represent depression, which will doubtless remind readers of the depression totem. These objects have very different purposes: one is treated like a long-term house guest that you’re working with to find a new home, while the other is being tied up and shoved in a box. If you are inclined to create a depression totem, do not also use this spell. If you are inclined to bind your depression, do not create a totem. The approach you take is a personal choice, but you cannot treat any person in both ways and expect it to go well.

What you’ll need:

What you’ll do:

  1. Write the phrase “the depression” three times across the brown paper, each below the last like a grocery list.
  2. Strike out the word “the” in each case, and write the word “my” above it.
  3. Turn the paper ninety degrees.
  4. Write the word “bound” three times across previous words; the result should look like a grid pattern, and it’s okay to stretch the letters out to make that work.
  5. Fold the paper in half toward you, turn 90 degrees and fold again, and continue until the paper can no longer be folded in half; set aside.
  6. Hold up the symbolic object and say, “I name this object a proxy for my depression, because __________,” filling in the reason(s) why you chose this object. Then say, “By my will and according to the free will of all, I shall bind my depression.”
  7. Place the object in the cardboard box, packing it in if needed, and close the top—it should not rattle in a way that would make anyone curious about the contents.
  8. Placing the folded brown paper atop the box, take up the black cord or thread. Beginning at the top, wrap the cord three times around the box, moving away from you over the top and toward you along the bottom. Turn the box to the left 90 degrees and wrap it thrice more. Continue wrapping three times and turning to the left until the box is tightly tied shut, and then some; during this entire process you may recite the following: "I wrap this box in sets of three, and thus, depression, I bind thee."
  9. Tie the cord off at the top.
  10. Store the entire mess on a shelf where you will see it regularly, as a reminder that depression is caged.

EXERCISE

A Bath to Break the Curse of Depression

This spell assumes that since depression can feel like a curse, it can be broken like a curse.

What you’ll need:

What you’ll do:

  1. During the waning moon, draw yourself a bath.
  2. Hold up the salt and say: "Spirits of earth and water, you know me, you know my ancestors, you know my gods. In all our names I call upon thee to cleanse me of any and all magic that is now doing me harm, and to restore me to a place of harmony and wellness. By our wills and according to the free will of all, so mote it be."
  3. Pour the salt into the tub and stir it widdershins as it dissolves.
  4. Enter the tub yourself and relax in the water for no fewer than nine minutes as the saltwater draws out the negative energy.
  5. When you’re ready to get out, wipe your body with care as you visualize what remains of the curse being wiped back into the water.
  6. Thank the elemental spirits, saying: "I thank you, oh spirits of water and earth, and I bless you in the names of my gods and my ancestors. Go now about your business with glad hearts, and may you again willingly heed my call, should I have need."
  7. Open the drain and turn your back on the tub as you dry off and dress yourself. Leave the room without turning back, and do not return until the tub is empty.

EXERCISE

Spell to Protect Against Depression

This spell is based on the assumption that depression—or the factors that cause it—come from outside the self and are also malevolent, to some extent. Whether depression is purely an invading spirit or it’s just made possible because mean people and tough breaks chip away at our spiritual immunity, this spell may bolster those natural defenses.

What you’ll need:

What you’ll do:

  1. On the paper, write the word “depression” three times, each below the last as if you’re making a list.
  2. Turn the paper to the right ninety degrees, and now write the word “freedom” three times in the same manner, such that it crosses the previous writing and the words form a grid.
  3. Place the herbs and stone upon the paper, and wrap it up by folding it away from yourself, turning it ninety degrees to the right, folding again, and continuing until the bundle it complete.
  4. Place the bundle in the pouch, which you’ll keep nearby. Slip it into your bag, attach it to your keys, wear it around your neck, or otherwise keep it within reach.

EXERCISE

Sun Box Spell

This spell, created by Silver Ravenwolf, was performed for me by a dear friend who found it in Llewellyn’s 1995 Magical Almanac. The box was given to me on the winter solstice, after several of us charged it with the energy of the sun. The purpose is to “uplift the spirits and chase away the blues” 50 and should be done on a Sunday, when the moon is in Leo, or empower when the planetary hour is in the sun.

What you’ll need:

What you’ll do:

  1. Cleanse and consecrate all materials.
  2. Paint the box blue on the outside. Allow it to dry.
  3. Paint small stars in white/silver on the outside of the box. Allow it to dry.
  4. Paint the inside of box yellow. Allow it to dry.
  5. Open the box, brush inside the bottom with glue. Sprinkle sequins over the glue, and cover entire surface. Let it dry.
  6. Repeat the procedure with the inside top of box and the inside sides.
  7. When the timing is right, empower the box with love, divine energy, success, and wisdom.
  8. Dress the gold candle with an oil that is pleasing to your purpose. Put it in the box.
  9. Close the box. Do not open it again. Seal the box with a bit of wax.
  10. Design a card explaining the purpose of the box. On a day when your friend is feeling blue, they are to open the box, relax, and burn the candle.

EXERCISE

Depression Mirror Spell

What you’ll need:

What you’ll do:

  1. Set up the mirror on a desk, shelf, or table that you can look at without craning your neck.
  2. Lower the light level in the room.
  3. If you like, enhance your focus with the use of a candle or incense.
  4. If you like, use the Florida water or other liquid to purify yourself before you settle in.
  5. Take up a comfortable position before the mirror. You may close your eyes, or look with open eyes into the middle distance in the direction of the mirror, not focusing on any particular details in your reflection.
  6. Allow your thoughts to drift, acknowledging each that arises and then releasing it.
  7. Say, “I see you.”
  8. Focus on your reflection. See your face. See the eyes, windows to the soul, and acknowledge their depth. If you experience negative feelings about yourself in this moment, acknowledge them, but instead of dwelling on them breathe on the mirror to fog it. If no negative feelings rise, wait for a period of roughly thirty heartbeats before fogging the mirror.
  9. Say, “They see me.”
  10. Either close your eyes or relax your gaze to look toward the mirror without focusing on anything in particular. As the fogged mirror distorts and obscures the reflection, how we see ourselves is not always how others see us. Our pain may be invisible to them, or our flaws much less pronounced.
  11. Wipe the mirror clean with the cloth, saying, “I see the good in me that others see.” Continue to wipe the mirror and repeat the phrase until the sound of words begins to lose meaning, then stop and fall again into quiet for a time.
  12. Place the mirror somewhere you will see it during the day, and pick it up to look at your own reflection when you are struggling. Fog the mirror with your breath if looking at the reflection is difficult, and wipe again as above to strengthen the charge.

It is done.

EXERCISE

A Grooming Mirror Spell

Much of what makes depression challenging is the fact that it whispers in a soft voice that sounds much like your own, a voice that is laden with self-critical talk. It is a voice that has access to the doubts we already hold dear: the sound of your laugh is unpleasant, your weight is too high, others are only pretending to like you, you are socially awkward, no one cares what you think, you should just stay home, you’re too lazy to do that, this will fail like all of your ideas fail. Listen to that voice long enough and you will feel uglier, stupider, less loved, and unwelcome. This spell uses literal sight to counter figurative hearing, and a mirror to bounce back that negative self-talk. Perform this spell in a bathroom or wherever you normally would undertake washing and grooming.

What you’ll need:

What you’ll do:

  1. Lay your grooming materials out as you would if you were planning on going out someplace dressy, whatever that means to you.
  2. Settle into quiet for a time, acknowledging thoughts that arise without fixating on them. Keep your eyes closed or look with open eyes into the middle distance in the direction of the mirror, not focusing on any particular details in your reflection.
  3. Say, “You are beautiful, for all that you hide it.”
  4. Focus on your reflection. See your face, including whatever you consider flaws as well as features you believe are strengths. If you experience negative feelings about yourself in this moment, acknowledge and then release them.
  5. Say, “Let us reveal that beauty.”
  6. Begin breathing in a measured pace: a slow count of four, hold it for four beats, exhale for four beats, and rest for another four. The count is just to slow the breathing down; don’t feel you must count aloud. Feel yourself slip into a rhythm of slow, deliberate breathing.
  7. Begin as thorough a grooming routine as you can muster. This may include a shower or bath, but must include actions before the mirror such as brushing of teeth, washing the face, exfoliating, or shaving. If personal grooming is something you have avoided recently, make a list if necessary to ensure that you take care of all the necessities as part of this working. Hold in your mind the intention to reveal the beauty of your spirit.
  8. If you like, recite lines such as these as you groom:
    • While washing the face: “Let my tears be washed away and my furrowed brow relax.”
    • While brushing the hair: “Let my hair shine with love.”
    • While shaving: “Let my hidden strength come forth.”
    • While applying cosmetics: “Let me wear my shining spirit on the outside.”
  9. When you have completed all your grooming tasks, either close your eyes or relax your gaze as you look toward the mirror without focusing on anything in particular.
  10. Visualize the face of your higher self, your agathos daimon, your guardian spirit, or whatever represents the ideal you in the mirror beside your own
  11. In your mind’s eye, will your faces to overlap and finally merge.

It is done.

Runes and Sigils

Written symbols, including the letters of runic alphabets as well as sigils, can hold a great deal of power. Runes, such as those found in the futharks and in the ogham script, have been a source of wisdom and esoteric power of centuries. Sigils, which may incorporate runes and English letters, are created to tailor magic more narrowly.

Kari Tauring suggested how several runes that might be useful in managing depression:

We will explore the power of community in the next chapter of this book.

One thing I have personally struggled with during periods of depression is out-of-control, ruminative thinking, that runaway thought train that locks me into one emotional track, or derails some emotions entirely to avoid experiencing them.51 The sigil above can help with that. When thoughts and feelings are piling up and are starting to feel overwhelming, inhale to a slow count of four, and exhale just as slowly while looking at or drawing this sigil to release the need to think about everything now. Some thoughts are just going to have to wait. Draw it on the back of your therapist’s business card to keep on hand in your wallet or purse. Trace it in the condensation of a bathroom mirror, or exhale on a window to make a drawing surface for it.

The design is a simple one because ease of drawing it was a priority. A lot of sigils are quite complex, and the last thing someone experiencing runaway negative or worrying thoughts needs is to fret over whether all the serifs are placed perfectly. It’s the breath that charges the sigil, and each copy of this sigil is connected to all others, meaning that every time anyone exhales to charge it, all copies of it get the boost.

When drawn on paper or any moveable surface, this sigil can be oriented to further shift the consciousness of the user. With the curved side down, it represents the unsteady state of a mind that is burdened by too many thoughts. Rotate it 180 degrees—or simply move to its other side to view it from the opposite direction—and it becomes one of the most stable structures, an arch. For an additional boost, try taking a few moments to ground and center yourself with the sigil in the first position, and then after rotating it take at least five minutes to meditate and clear the mind of thoughts altogether. Even after grounding, meditation can be tricky, as thoughts invariably slip back in. Be patient. Once you recognize a thought, acknowledge it, and then release it rather than dwelling on it. I have had success by simply telling myself “Wait,” which reminds me that this is not the time to chase that thought.

Another way to use this sigil is to scratch or carve it into a candle, again breathing on it to charge. The sigil’s energy is released by the flame, therefore it should be inscribed someplace that it will be consumed. This is why I prefer a taper candle, as thicker ones are often made with wicks too thin to entirely burn the wax. A column candle can be used, but make sure to inscribe it on the top to ensure that the sigil is completely destroyed. Pick a blue candle to represent emotions or the subconscious. Some might be drawn to black since many of us connect this with the feelings of depression. Black wax is never truly black; it’s an extremely dark hue of another color, such as green or blue. Scratch a bit off under a fingernail and have a closer look to see what makes up the black, and select one that is based on blue. The candle can be used in conjunction with meditation, or while making offerings or praying before a depression shrine. Leaving a burning candle unattended is usually a bad idea.

EXERCISE

A Bathing Spell for Easing Depression

Water is the element of emotion; it is seen in the cleansing power of tears, and “drowning” is a word that some would use to describe their experience with depression. I have never figured out how to use a bath to wash my body, but I find it’s a powerful way to infuse myself with magical energy by essentially turning me into the main ingredient of a potion. Rest assured, this is not a potion anyone is expected to drink.

What you’ll need:

What you’ll do:

To prepare the stones you’ll be using:

  1. Place the selection of stones in the bag and exhale into it, saying:

    Awaken, o stones, and awaken my true feelings within me.

  2. Tie or sew the bag shut with the blue thread or embroidery floss. After you’ve completed that preparation, the bath itself is prepared the same way each time.

To prepare the bath:

  1. If you are using a candle, light it before you start filling the tub. Focus on the flame for a few minutes to help clear your mind.
  2. You may get into the tub before or after adding water, as is your usual practice, but do not add the bag of stones until it’s at least halfway full of water.
  3. Follow this by adding three measures of salt to the water, which will both amplify this healing work and cleanse the stones to use again.

If you’re using herbs, sprinkle them over the water as the tub is being filled. Plant matter can clog drains, so use any herbs sparingly!

  1. Make the water as hot as is comfortable, which is a personal preference, and sit in the tub as long as your tolerance allows.
  2. Allow your mind to drift and do not shy away from strong emotions as they arise. You are in a safe space—a sacred space—and these are emotions which you may need to process to move past the pain that invites depression to be your companion.
  3. Once your body becomes uncomfortable due to water temperature or any other reason, open the drain and let the water out, releasing with it those emotions and memories which you experienced.
  4. Extinguish the candle, if you used one, and retrieve the bag of stones. Rinse the bag of stones in cold water and set it on a towel or someplace where it can dry in the air. Once it’s dry, it can be used again.

It is done.

Candle Magic

Candles are an excellent tool in the management of depression. For one thing, a candle flame is a natural focal point and can make meditation easier. Any candle will do, but if you select one that has been blessed or magically charged, be aware of the intention put into it first. If it’s not juiced up to ground or clear the mind, then the candle’s purpose might prove to be distracting. A candle charged for a different purpose may make meditation more difficult.

Find a place you can sit down comfortably with the candle before you. Light the candle and look in the direction of the flame without specifically focusing on it. Allow your eyes to relax; this is sometimes described as looking into the middle distance or gazing at the flame with a soft focus. Take in a breath by lowering your diaphragm—pushing out your abdomen—until resistance is felt, pause for a beat, then exhale. Release the breath first by allowing it to come out by pressure alone, then give it a gentle push. As you continue to breathe,
let your body’s systems take over and do it at a natural pace. If you find yourself focusing on your breath, silently acknowledge the thought and then release it with the next exhalation. Do the same if you find yourself thinking about the flame. Any thought that rises, name and then release it with the outward breath. The goal is to become unaware of any thoughts, but there is no timeline to achieve that. Thoughts will come, be acknowledged, and be released.

EXERCISE

Draw Off a Negative Mood with a Candle

What you’ll need:

What you’ll do:

  1. Remove any packaging and hold the candle before you, keeping the intention of using it to draw off negative energy and emotion in mind.
  2. Take a bit of your own saliva onto your fingers and grasp the candle in the middle of its length.
  3. Wipe from the middle down to the bottom, and then from the middle up to the tip (you can also go in both directions at once if you use two hands) to charge it with your intention.
  4. Light and sit with the candle for a few minutes when you feel you need it, or anytime you think that lighting a candle couldn’t possibly help.
  5. To ensure you will use it, keep the candle someplace you’ll see it, or set some kind of reminder to check in and use it; you may wish to make use of this candle as part of a regular meditation practice.

EXERCISE

Candle Spell to Find a Therapist

There are many potential barriers to finding a therapist, starting with the idea that one needs a therapist in the first place. The benefits of therapy are explored more thoroughly in the “community” section, but here is a spell to help someone who is ready for therapy to find a professional who is a good fit. Kelden Mercury provided the initial inspiration for this simple spell, which can be expanded by incorporating crystals, herbs, planets, and other forces that correspond to the goal.

What you’ll need:

What you’ll do:

  1. The candle is blue to promote communication. Using the inscribing tool or a fingernail, carve into the wax words or symbols that you desire in a therapist, such as respect, open-mindedness, or accessibility.
  2. On the paper, expand on what you’ve carved to provide clarity if needed. If you do this, place the paper underneath the candle.
  3. Lick your thumb and rub it over the carvings to seal the candle.
  4. Light the candle and visualize meeting with a therapist for the first time, discussing issues such as the relationship between your religion and your mental health, and the feeling of “clicking” with this person.
  5. When you meet with a potential therapist, endeavor to observe all that is said and done with your whole self: the words, the tone of voice, the smell of the office if you meet in person, the tension in your body, the body language of the therapist, and any cues you can pick up with more subtle senses.
  6. After that first meeting, you may wish to enter the impressions from your stream of consciousness into a journal to help you assess the potential of this relationship. If you do this at all, do it as soon as possible after the first session so that it is fresh in your mind.

EXERCISE

Assessing PODS in Your Life

A PODS assessment is to take stock of how prayer, offerings, dreams, and spells are represented in one’s life right now.

Using the below scale, how important are each of the following aspects in my life today?

1-very unimportant

2-somewhat unimportant

3-neither important nor unimportant

4-somewhat important

5-very important

Using the below scale, how recently have I experienced each of the following?

1-longer than a month ago

2-in the past month

3-in the past week

4-in the past day

5-several times in the past day

As a snapshot, these answers might not be especially useful, but try taking this quick self-assessment daily or weekly and then plot it out on a graph. If you are also tracking your mood, you might see even more patterns emerge. Do you find you dream more or less during depression? Are offerings and gods more prominent, or is that altar collecting more dust than usual? When are you led to pray? These data can help you understand the ebb and flow of your relationship with depression, and perhaps what triggers flare-ups for you. As with all ideas presented in this book, readers are invited to explore at their own pace rather than trying to do all the things at once.

JOURNAL EXERCISE

Spice and Everything Nice

Bring your journal with you into the kitchen, pantry, or wherever herbs and spices are kept in your home. Line up as many spice bottles or containers of fresh herbs as you like along the counter. One by one, open the container, smell the herb or spice, and write down the first thing that comes to mind: a memory, a feeling, a meal, or whatever thought the plant triggered.

Circle the ones that bring up something positive. Consider using these in your cooking to reinforce those associations.

[contents]

44. Scher, How to Heal Yourself, 55-8

45. Wanck, Mind Easing, 177.

46. Ward, Depth of Praise, 49.

47. Ward, Depth of Praise, 53-4.

48. Peter A. Boelens, Roy R. Reeves, William H. Replogle, and Harold G. Koenig, “A Randomized Trial of the Effect of Prayer on Depression and Anxiety.” International Journal of Psychiatry in Medicine 39, no. 4 (2009): 377-392. https://doi.org/10.2190/pm.39.4.c.

49. Carr, “What’s Behind Your Recurring Dreams?”

50. Silver Ravenwolf, Llewellyn 1995 Magical Almanac, (St. Paul, MN: Llewellyn Publications, 1994), 259–60.

51. Pollan, How to Change Your Mind, 379.