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Week Three:

Thrive

You are unique and beautiful, and you deserve to heal and thrive. You’re moving, eating, and, most important, thinking like a PCOS Diva. Now you are going to thrive like a PCOS Diva, continuously flourishing and transcending the pain and struggle of PCOS to live the life you are meant to live and share your unique gifts with the world.

You’ve come so far in the past two weeks. You’ve made great choices, and you’re feeling better as a result. Take a moment to reflect upon and celebrate the new habits you’ve incorporated into your daily routine, such as drinking lemon water and dry brushing, and how, collectively, these small habits are adding up to a healthy new lifestyle and a healthier version of yourself. Celebrate the times you chose to drink a smoothie rather than eat a break-room donut, ordered a PCOS Diva–friendly meal rather than an unhealthy choice at a restaurant, or took a walk after lunch instead of staying in and scrolling through Facebook. Celebrate the return of your energy and the improvement in the way you feel.

During Week Three, you will build upon the lessons learned in the past two weeks. You will follow the same daily protocol and add a key new component of self-care: meditation. You will wake up 5 to 10 minutes earlier this week to create space in your daily routine to add a Meditation Moment in the morning. I like to say that I start my day with M and M’s: movement and meditation.

I used to think meditation was just for yogis and hippies, but I have found that it is a really easy way to become more mindful, more centered, and less anxious; most important, it helps me manage stress. Stress is at the root of most doctor visits and is a trigger for the three most common symptoms of PCOS: insulin resistance and hyperinsulinemia, hormonal imbalance, and chronic inflammation. Research shows that prolonged stress releases the hormone cortisol, which reduces cell function and contributes to numerous emotional and physical disorders. Most alarming for women with PCOS, cortisol increases sugar (glucose) in the bloodstream, while suppressing immune system responses, the digestive system, and the reproductive system.

Meditation isn’t only for stress relief, though. Studies indicate that people who engage in mind–body interventions of any kind (yoga, tai chi, etc.) see benefits on the genetic level. This type of activity seems to cause a reduction of activity in genes associated with inflammation. The National Institutes of Health agrees that meditation can be useful for reducing high blood pressure and symptoms of irritable bowel syndrome and ulcerative colitis. It may also ease symptoms of anxiety, depression, and pain while enhancing mood and self-esteem and even helping with insomnia. For all of these reasons and more, we will make meditation a part of our day.

It can be used just about anytime or anywhere to recenter yourself and work through overwhelming moments. You don’t have to be in a silent room with a yogi. You can meditate at your desk, on a train, in the shower, on a walk, or in a room full of screaming children. Just take a minute or two and focus on your breathing.

There are many types of meditation, and no one method is ideal for everyone. The best meditation is the one that works for you. You’ll learn about seven different types of meditation this week in our Meditation Moments, with the goal of discovering the types you enjoy and work best for you. Maybe you can’t imagine sitting on a meditation pillow with fingers posed, chanting “Om.” That is okay, because there are lots of other ways to meditate and reap the benefits.

Although “Thrive” week is the final week of the 21-Day Plan, it is not the end of your journey. Thriving like a PCOS Diva is a road of perpetual growth. The road isn’t always straight, it may not be smooth traveling, and there will be twists and turns, but you will reap the benefits of the growth you experience along the way. From now on, you will strive each day to grow into a healthier, happier, and fuller version of yourself.

You know the old saying, “Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.” This week you are going to learn to fish, so to speak. You will choose recipes and create your own Meal Plan. Please don’t underestimate the power of planning. Create your Meal Plan and shopping list, and go grocery shopping. Also, be sure to plan out your movement and self-care for the week. Put it on your calendar and treat it as you would a doctor’s appointment. It is that important!

You can do this. You know enough. You are enough. Keep putting one foot in front of the other and taking steps forward.

Thrive: Week Three Daily Protocol

  • Bonus Movement: HIIT added to walk(s), 10 minutes of strength training, or 10 minutes of mind–body exercise sometime during the day

Rocket Launch. Wake up 5–10 minutes earlier than last week.

  • Morning Motto
  • Big Why
  • Gratitude

Morning Reflection

  • Morning elixir
  • Inspiration
  • Affirmation
  • 15-minute Morning Movement
  • Meditation Moment

Shower

  • Dry brushing before shower
  • Oil massage after shower

Breakfast

  • Meal
  • Breakfast supplements
  • Tongue scrape

Daily Lesson

  • Diva Daily
  • Diva Do

Morning Snack/Tea Time

  • Optional snack
  • Beverage break

Lunch

  • Meal
  • Lunch supplements
  • 15-minute walk

Afternoon Snack/Tea Time

  • Required snack
  • Beverage break
  • Water check (have you had enough water today?)

Dinner

  • Meal
  • Dinner supplements
  • 15-minute walk
  • Dessert chocolate (optional)
  • Next day food prep

Nighttime Ritual

  • Unplugged by 8 p.m.
  • Evening elixir and/or evening snack (only if needed)
  • Tomorrow’s Priority List
  • Magnesium
  • Tongue scrape
  • Essential oils
  • Stretching
  • Book
  • Gratitude stone
  • Sleep mask and lights out by 10 p.m.
 

Day 15

 

Inspiration

“You teach the people around you how to treat you. They learn by watching how you treat yourself.” —Kimberley Jones

Affirmation

“I attract positive energy like a magnet.”

Meditation Moment

You have been working to create a movement mindset, but you will also be developing a meditation mindset. Look for opportunities that you might otherwise spend dwelling on the negative or creating anxiety and worry, and use them for a mindful Meditation Moment.

Meditation practices are invaluable for dealing with stress. You’ve learned how stress wreaks havoc on PCOS. We can’t always eliminate stressors from our lives, but we can learn to manage the stress in healthier ways. Breathing Breaks are a great tool. We take twenty-five thousand breaths every day, but I would bet that many of us rarely take more than a couple deep breaths during an entire day, even when we’re not feeling stressed.

Breathing is an automatic function controlled by the autonomic nervous system. This nervous system consists of two parts: the sympathetic and the parasympathetic systems. The sympathetic is the “fight or flight” system. It prepares the body for sudden stress by controlling physical things like our heart rate, adrenal glands, and breathing. The parasympathetic system prepares the body to “rest and digest” and activates the more tranquil functions of the body, helping the digestive system work more efficiently to extract nutrients from our food.

When we are stressed out, overworked, or overstimulated during our daily lives, we are in a chronic state of fight or flight. Our breathing becomes short, sharp, shallow, and quick; we may barely breathe at all. In turn our minds become anxious, nervous, and agitated. But we can work to consciously shift the body into the parasympathetic rest-and-digest mode just by using our breath. It’s a simple technique, and it’s so powerful. Slow, deep breathing can instantly calm us down mentally as well as physically.

Set your phone alarm for three separate 1-minute Breathing Breaks today.

Breathing Break

  1. Set the timer for 1 minute so you can focus on breathing and let the time take care of itself.
  2. Place your left hand on your upper chest and your right hand on your belly, in the space just below your rib cage.
  3. Inhale through your nose slowly and strongly right down into your belly, pushing your right hand softly outward. If your left hand is moving, your breathing is too shallow; it is in your chest, and you are not breathing into your belly as you should. Let the air completely fill your lungs. Just when you think you cannot inhale any more, try to sip in one last bit.
  4. Hold the breath for a moment.
  5. Begin to exhale through your nose, pushing the air out of your stomach and pulling your belly in toward your spine. Exhale all of the breath in your lungs.
  6. Take another full deep breath in through your nose, hold, and exhale completely. Try to exhale for twice as long as you inhale, and fully expel the air. When you breathe in and out, your left hand should remain still and only your right hand should move up and down.
  7. Continue breathing in this way until 1 minute is up.

I love using these tools to help with my Breathing Breaks:

Throughout the week, you will take Meditation Moments that focus on breathing. Please try the techniques I mentioned above. Not only do Breathing Breaks help combat stress, but they also create mindfulness. Focusing on your breath places you in the “now.” We cannot breathe in the past, and we cannot yet breathe in the future. We must breathe in the now moment. Paying attention to your breath allows your mind to become more present-moment focused.

Diva Daily

Surround yourself with people who want you to thrive. You deserve to spend your time with people who lift you up. Invest in relationships that energize you. Spend time with people who are focused on becoming the best version of themselves, who move forward with gratitude while growing, getting better, and maximizing their potential. They say you are the sum of the five people you spend the most time with. Make sure they’re positive!

Steer clear of negative people. These are the folks who relish the negative things in their life and the lives of others and ignore the positive. They exaggerate issues they are facing, making their predicament seem a lot worse than it is. Negative people are exhausting to be around. Their energy depletes rather than invigorates. You cannot thrive if you are surrounded by negative people.

Diva Do

Take out your journal and write down all of the people in your life you interact with on a daily, weekly, and monthly basis. Next to their names, write what type of “S” they are. Do they Suck from you? Do you feel energetically depleted when you spend time with them? Do they Sabotage you and try to keep you from living life like a PCOS Diva by tempting you with gluten-laden sweets? Or do they Support you? Do they Stretch you to meet your goals and thrive, to become the best version of yourself? The latter are the people you need to spend more time with!

Then begin to create boundaries around those who Suck and Sabotage. If you are a highly sensitive person, you will keenly feel the negative effects of people who Suck and Sabotage and you’ll need to take extra precautions to protect yourself. You will have to set some boundaries and practice saying no when you don’t want to do something with them because you know that you will end up exhausted, depleted, or overwhelmed. Be mindful of flexing your “no” muscle this week with those who keep you from thriving.

 

Day 16

 

Inspiration

“Balance isn’t something you find. It’s something you create.” —Jana Kingsford

Affirmation

“I enjoy a well-balanced lifestyle.”

Meditation Moment

I use the 5 to 10 minutes I spend in the shower as an opportunity to cleanse my body as well as my mind and spirit. I let the water wash away my fears, worries, and problems, right down the drain. As with body brushing, mindfulness and meditation in the shower are great ways to become more comfortable with our bodies, in the present moment, without judgment. Enjoy what a simple mindful pleasure a shower can be.

The time you spend in the shower is the perfect opportunity for a Meditation Moment. You are alone and away from the distractions of life, if only for a few minutes, and a few minutes are all that you need for a Shower Meditation.

Shower Meditation

  1. Prepare your towel, after-bath oils, and any other items you need after your shower.
  2. Set your intention that you are not just cleaning your body, but your mind and spirit as well.
  3. Feel the water as it hits your skin. Take a moment to be thankful for the warm running water.
  4. As water is falling on you, close your eyes and focus on your breath. Inhale and feel the cleansing warm steam flow in through your nose. Exhale and release your negative thoughts, stress, tensions, and feelings of being overwhelmed. Imagine these thoughts dissolving in the water and floating down the drain. Take six more deep breaths like this.
  5. Proceed with your shower. As you wash, smell the aroma of the soap and listen to the water flow. Acutely feel the soap against your skin, feel your fingers rubbing the shampoo into your scalp. As you scrub each body part, give thanks for what it brings to you and enables you to do.
  6. When you’re finished washing, take a few deeper breaths, focusing on the sensation of the water before you turn it off. You should feel more centered, calm, rejuvenated, and ready to take on your day.

Diva Daily

In order to thrive, we must become more self-aware and make time for self-reflection. An important question to ask is “Where do I need more balance in my life?” What areas of your life need more attention, so you can flourish? As a coach, I love using my Thrive like a PCOS Diva Wheel to help clients determine where they need to create more balance in their life. It is not meant to be a report card on how well you have performed or what you have achieved. It is meant to take a snapshot of a specific moment. The wheel reveals how balanced your life is right now.

The Thrive like a PCOS Diva Wheel is divided into ten sections, each of which has a scale that goes from 0 in the center to 10 at the outer edge. Lower numbers mean little balance in an area, while higher ones indicate the presence of more balance. Place a dot on the scale representing your rating for each area. When you’ve rated all areas on the wheel, connect the dots to form an inner wheel, a visual representation of the balance in your life right now. It is unlikely that all areas in your life are perfect 10s; everyone will have a wheel that is lopsided to some degree. However, you’ll find that the rounder and more balanced your wheel is, the easier the ride and the more you thrive and are able move forward in your life. If your wheel was on a bike, how bumpy would your ride be?

Diva Do

Take a few minutes to fill out your Thrive like a PCOS Diva Wheel. Connect the dots and see how it looks. Which segments have the lowest scores? Where do you need more balance in your life? Remember, the goal isn’t to have all perfect 10s. The goal is for your circle to resemble a wheel. Focus on the lowest scoring segment. What action can you take today to help you go up a notch? Write down the item and commit to taking action before the end of the day. Make it a point to do this exercise once a month. It is satisfying to see your progress.

 

Day 17

 

Inspiration

“Most of the shadows of this life are caused by standing in one’s own sunshine.” —Ralph Waldo Emerson

Affirmation

“I love myself as I am.”

Meditation Moment

Walking Meditation is one of my favorite ways to center myself and alleviate stress and anxiety. The repetition of the movement helps me to stay in the present and quiet my mind. My mind follows the rhythm of walking instead of getting lost in my thoughts. This kind of walk will change your day for the better.

Walking Meditation

  1. Map out a route. A nature trail is best.
  2. Don’t listen to music, and turn your cell phone on vibrate. You want to hear the sound of your breath and the subtle sounds of the natural world around you.
  3. Begin to move in concert with your breath. Become aware of your breath. Try to inhale for three steps and exhale for three steps. Make sure that the length of the inhale matches the length of the exhale.
  4. Sense your movement. Focus on the experience of walking, the sensations in your feet and legs, your arms swinging, your whole body moving. Pay attention to each foot as it makes contact with the ground. Hear the rhythm of your feet hitting the ground.
  5. Try not to look around, but rather gaze out in front of you.
  6. To take this meditation a step farther, focus on your blessings and think about all the things you are grateful for, for example, your relationships, your body, and abilities like the simple act of being able to walk.

Thrive like a PCOS Diva Wheel

 

image

Spirituality

  • I am connected with something bigger than myself.
  • I take time for a spiritual practice.
  • I forgive others and myself.
  • I take time to feed my spirit through meditation, introspection, reading, and reflection.
  • I practice gratitude.
  • I spend time in nature.

Think like a PCOS Diva

  • I practice progress rather than perfection.
  • I take control rather than act like a victim.
  • I partner with and listen to my body.
  • I think from a place of abundance rather than from a place of lack.
  • I am authentic.
  • I am enough.

Self-compassion/Self-care

  • My internal dialogue is more positive than negative.
  • I treat myself to Sweet Stuff.
  • I take extreme self-care.
  • I appreciate myself.
  • I am kind to myself.
  • I schedule time for myself.

Personal Growth

  • I know my unique strengths and gifts.
  • I use my creativity.
  • I share my gifts with others.
  • I am continually learning new things.
  • I enjoy new opportunities for growth.
  • I am growing and flourishing as a person.

Eat like a PCOS Diva

  • I sizzle in the kitchen.
  • I am a PCOS Diva when eating out.
  • I plan meals and create a shopping list.
  • I use food as medicine.
  • I take my supplements.
  • I eat fresh seasonal produce.

Move like a PCOS Diva

  • I move my body in ways that feel good.
  • I am not exhausted every time I practice my preferred movement.
  • I move my body every day.
  • I combine HIIT, strength training, and mind–body exercise each week.
  • I get adequate sleep.
  • I move because I love my body, not to punish myself.

Finances

  • I earn enough money.
  • I live beneath my means.
  • I have money and resources to pursue my goals.
  • I save for the future.
  • I plan for financial freedom.
  • I am grateful for all I have.

Job/Career

  • I am happy at my job.
  • My job aligns with the PCOS Diva lifestyle.
  • I have room to grow.
  • My job aligns with my gifts and strengths.
  • My job is personally and financially satisfying.
  • My work nourishes me.

Relationships

  • I spend time with those who support and stretch me.
  • I set boundaries with negative people who suck my energy and sabotage my success.
  • I nurture relationships with positive and supportive people.
  • I am happy with my social circle.
  • I am my authentic self.
  • I say no when I need to.

Fun, Recreation, Pleasure

  • I have fun often.
  • I enjoy sports or other hobbies.
  • I indulge mindfully when eating.
  • I make time for rest and renewal.
  • I find ways to express my creativity.
  • I give myself permission to experience pleasure.
 

Diva Daily

When I was really struggling with PCOS, I had lost all sense of how my appearance and the clothes I wore could reflect my true self. I had spent eight years in the corporate world, wearing business attire on most days. When my first child was born, I became a stay-at-home mom. I went from an aspiring business executive to a “frumpy mom” who mostly wore sweats and her husband’s old T-shirts. As a frumpy mom, I didn’t think I was worth spending money and time on to dress beautifully. This went on for several years. It’s no coincidence that my health took a dive. The less I cared about my appearance, the less I cared about what I ate or other aspects of self-care. I was caught in a place of lack—not enough, time, money, or energy to take care of myself—and my health spiraled downward.

One of the things that helped stop the downward spiral was to begin putting effort into my appearance again. When I did, I stopped wallowing and started moving forward and upward. I was less likely to eat poorly, avoid having my picture taken, hide from mirrors, and withdraw from social invitations. I began to thrive.

Rediscovering and expressing my personal style through fashion helped me rediscover my confidence and power. I began showing up in the world differently, self-assured and strong. I became more present in my body, treating it with more care. I stopped comparing myself to others. I worked to highlight my best features and found what worked best for me and my body type. I realized that when I was overly critical of my body, it undermined my ability to feel beautiful. By changing the way I dressed, I changed the relationship I had with my body for the better. More self-love begets more self-care, and self-care is elemental to thriving.

Diva Do

Are you dressing like the PCOS Diva you are? If not, then let’s get to work on discovering your personal style. Personal style is an extension of who you are. It is your personal brand that communicates who you are without saying a word. How do you want to project yourself? Looking perfect isn’t the end goal; it is about feeling good. Clothes can make us feel beautiful. Find what makes you feel beautiful.

Look for inspiration. Make your own “look book.” I think the easiest way to do this is to create a Pinterest board. Trust your gut and pin images you feel attracted to and styles that you love. Don’t edit yourself. Just keep pinning. The more you just follow your gut, the faster this will go. After a while, you’ll start to see trends emerge. Look at the color palette you are attracted to. What kind of textures do you like? Do a board for each season. After you’ve “brainstormed” your style board, edit it, and take out anything you don’t really love. Use your “look book” as a reference when you go shopping.

Clear out what no longer serves. We all have that one pair of jeans in our closet that we hold on to, hoping we can squeeze into them again one day. Let’s embrace who we are in this moment. Get rid of those “maybe one day” items in your closet. Remove anything that doesn’t fit. Give the items away, and if you just can’t part with them, put them in storage somewhere else. Next, clear out anything that you don’t like, haven’t worn in over a year, and aren’t excited to put on. Finally, ask, “Does this fit my emerging personal style? Does it align with the PCOS Diva I’m becoming?” If the answer is yes, then keep it.

Ask a professional. Leave it to the experts; they know what they are doing. I’ve come to rely on my favorite boutiques and free professional stylist services offered at many department stores to help me find clothes that fit my personal style. Personal style doesn’t have to be expensive. Shop the sale racks. I typically show the stylist my latest “look book,” and she helps select clothes in my price range that make me feel great. I’ve also discovered that online services such as Stitch Fix can take the time and frustration out of shopping, identify clothes that I love, and help develop my personal style.

What I really want for you is to feel as beautiful as you are. Ultimately, everything in your closet should:

  • Fit well. Do not fall into the squeeze-into-the-smallest-size mindset. You are beautiful in whatever size fits.
  • Be worn often.
  • Be comfortable and feel good.
  • Represent the image you want to project to the world.
 

Day 18

 

Inspiration

“What you hold on to holds on to you. Is it loving, kind, and empowering? Does it make you feel good about yourself? If not, let it go.” —Anna Pereira

Affirmation

“My life is filled with beauty and organization.”

Meditation Moment

I love fresh flowers. Every week as part of my Sweet Stuff indulgences, I treat myself to fresh-cut flowers that I arrange and keep in a vase on my kitchen island. They lift my spirits, and gazing upon them can help calm my frazzled nerves and center me in anticipation of a busy day ahead. Flower Gazing is the simplest Meditation Moment imaginable.

Flower Gazing

  1. Choose a flower, with a single blossom, that inspires you.
  2. Sit in a chair where you can gaze upon the flower about 16 inches in front of you. You can hold the flower or place it in a bud vase.
  3. Relax your facial muscles. Gaze upon the flower with soft, relaxed eyes, without allowing your eyes to break contact.
  4. While gazing, take a Breathing Break and take slow deep breaths.
  5. Stare for 15 to 20 seconds at a minimum. Work your way up to 5 minutes or more.
  6. If your attention wanders from focusing on the flower, simply notice that it happened, then bring yourself back to gazing. When thoughts pop into your head, acknowledge them, then gently redirect your attention back to the flower in front of you.
  7. Before you are finished, generate feelings of gratitude for the gifts of healing and beauty of the flower and offer thanks for its beauty and replenishment.
  8. Finally, close your eyes for a minute or so. Can you still see its image in your mind or feel its presence in front of you?
  9. During this meditation, don’t be surprised if you begin to yawn, even if you are not tired, or tears form in your eyes. Both are signs of stress release.

Diva Daily

Clearing out the clutter in our life helps us get a clearer idea of who we are and what we truly want. Physical clutter, anything not needed anymore or disorganized, distracts and paralyzes us from moving forward to our next chapter in life. Mess causes stress. It drags our energy down, and we experience feelings of anxiety, being overwhelmed, exhaustion, and even depression. Research shows that clutter may even cause us to overeat!

Clutter slowly creeps up. It begins with a pile here and a junk drawer there until it becomes a distraction, a literal barrier. A study on organized and cluttered living by the Princeton University Neuroscience Institute concluded that if you want to focus to the best of your abilities, you need to clear clutter from your home and work environment. Decluttering and organizing your home can help you to be less irritable, more productive, and less distracted. Clutter caused people to lose focus and brain-processing power.

Decluttering helps us thrive, emotionally, spiritually, and mentally. It reduces stress, simplifies our life, releases energy that has been buried under things belonging to our past, and allows for new possibilities. We would clean up our home if we had company coming to stay. Why not treat ourselves like those special guests? Decluttering is an act of self-care. You deserve it. You are worth having beautiful, clean, and uncluttered spaces.

Diva Do

Focus on something in your home to declutter. If you haven’t tackled your kitchen yet, begin with a kitchen drawer or cabinet. Estimate how much time it might take to complete the task and set a timer. Having a finite amount of time for the task will help you stay focused. If you aren’t sure, start with 15 minutes. Notice how you feel looking at the disorganized, cluttered drawer. Does it make you feel anxious? Does your energy feel stagnant?

It’s time to eliminate what is old or unnecessary or doesn’t reflect who you are any longer. Take everything out of the drawer and create three piles:

  1. Things to throw away.
  2. Things to give away.
  3. Things to keep. Only keep what you really need or want.

If you have a hard time throwing or giving things away, challenge yourself to find at least three things to eliminate from that space. Clean the drawer or cabinet, making sure it is free from stains or dust and place your kept items back in an organized way.

After finishing the short decluttering project, take a moment and check in with yourself. How do you feel? Do you feel lighter, freer? Calmer? Do you feel more energetic? If you’ve got some momentum from doing that one space, then keep going. Tackle something else, but complete one area at a time. Consider taking on a drawer, closet, or area of your home every day for the next 21 days.

 

Day 19

 

Inspiration

“The things you are passionate about are not random. They are your calling.” —Fabienne Fredrickson

Affirmation

“Being creative makes me feel alive.”

Meditation Moment

Coloring can be a form of meditation that taps into your creativity at the same time. Dr. Joel Pearson, a brain scientist at the University of New South Wales in Australia, believes that concentrating on coloring an image may facilitate the replacement of negative thoughts and images with pleasant ones. A 2005 study concurred, demonstrating that coloring mandalas may induce a meditative state that benefits individuals suffering from anxiety. Coloring Meditation helps me tune out the chaos of the day as I focus on a single, soothing, and creative activity.

Give yourself 15 minutes. Print out a coloring sheet (there are tons online), grab some colored pencils, put on some relaxing music, and color away.

Diva Daily

Through my personal experience and coaching many women with PCOS, I have discovered a surprising common denominator in women who are struggling with their symptoms. They have lost touch with their ability to creatively express themselves. When I look back on my life, I have come to realize that during the periods when I was thriving, I was creating. When I began feeling better in college, I was not only cooking, eating, and exercising more effectively; I was also reconnected with my creativity. I was an art-history major and had to take two semesters of studio-arts classes. I am no artist, but getting lost in the studio, creating with paints and canvas was soothing to my soul. It was a way to practice mindfulness and a great stress reducer. When I’m nurturing my creative spirit, I thrive.

When we lose touch with our creative power, our PCOS symptoms may increase. Studies have shown that art therapy and creative engagement can decrease anxiety, stress, and mood disturbances. Start reconnecting with your creative power, and you will begin to thrive, I promise.

Diva Do

Remember making art as a child? Like me, you probably lost yourself in the moment as you finger-painted, played with Play-Doh, or colored. You were in a state of “flow.” Your senses were heightened, and you were in the moment, with no concept of time. In a flow state, there is a dimming of the external world, and we are excited about what we are experiencing. We are fully alive. I call that thriving.

But sadly, as we grow up, we often stop making art and lose that flow state. We lose touch with our creativity. It is time to reclaim your creative power. You can tap into it through a variety of ways: dance, drama, music, writing, crafting, scrapbooking, coloring, quilting, photography, cooking, and more. What form of art calls to you? Think back to when you were last lost in a state of flow. What were you doing?

Commit to expressing your creativity in some way by the end of this week. Give yourself a solid block of creating time and consider adding creative pursuits to your Sweet Stuff list. Experiment with artistic pursuits without judging yourself too critically. Treat yourself as you would a child. You would never criticize a young child’s creative work. Perfectionism is the killer of creativity. Notice if you begin judging your creative project from a place of “This isn’t good enough,” or “I’m not doing it right.” Also, creativity isn’t a linear process. You don’t have to have an end goal. Rather, start just for pleasure. Enjoy the process, experience, and create. You deserve to have fun and heal.

 

Day 20

 

Inspiration

“A moment of self-compassion can change your entire day. A string of such moments can change the course of your life.” —Christopher K. Germer

Affirmation

“I treat myself with kindness.”

Meditation Moment

One of my favorite ways to pause and meditate is based upon a metta meditation, or Loving-Kindness Meditation. Metta is Pali, the language of the Buddhist canon, for “friendliness” or “kindness.” This type of meditation has been shown to increase positive emotions and decrease negative ones and helps reduce self-criticism. Give yourself 5 minutes of kindness. If you practice this meditation often, I promise you will feel more self-compassion.

Loving-Kindness Meditation

  1. Get comfortable in a chair with feet grounded on the floor. I like to put my hands in prayer pose over my heart. Close your eyes and start by taking 4 Box Breaths. Inhale in for 4 counts, hold for 4 counts, exhale for 4 counts, rest for 4 counts, and then repeat for a total of 4 breaths. Focus on feeling love and kindness for yourself. Imagine your heart center radiating a warm, glowing light. Let any negative feelings of self-judgment and self-hatred go from your awareness.
  2. While continuing to take deep breaths, think of and ask for the good and loving things that you want more of in your life, while working on connecting with those good feelings. Extend grace and kindness to yourself. Say:

    May I be happy.

    May I be healthy.

    May I be safe.

    May I be blessed.

  3. Direct your attention to the part of yourself that feels out of sorts or disconnected, and say to yourself four times, “May that part be of me be filled with kindness,” and then say four times, “May my whole body be filled with kindness.”
  4. Then do one more round of Box Breathing and say, “May I be happy, may I be healthy, may I be safe, may I be blessed.” Slowly open your eyes and come out of the meditation.

Diva Daily

How can we thrive if we are not being kind to ourselves? If self-love seems too lofty right now, then start with self-compassion.

Think about the last time you made a mistake or messed up, even if it was something small. What did you say to yourself? “I’ll never succeed,” “I always mess things up,” “I’m a failure,” or “I’ll never be enough”? Would you ever speak that way to someone you truly care about? If you kept track of all the self-berating thoughts you have each day, you might be shocked. When these thoughts are woven into our internal fabric day after day, our reality begins to take shape based upon those thoughts. You are so much more than those old negative thinking patterns would allow you to believe. Stop being so hard on yourself. Think about this: the longest relationship you will ever have is with yourself; make it a positive one.

You are allowed to make mistakes. Work hard to treat yourself kindly and show as much empathy, mercy, and tenderness toward yourself as you would toward your child or dear friend. Embrace your imperfections, and dare to be vulnerable. Instead of punishing yourself, consider missteps a learning experience or an opportunity to grow. Learn the lessons, so you can move forward in life. Don’t take yourself and every situation too seriously. Sometimes you might just need to brush off a mistake and find a way to laugh about it. You’ll be amazed where a little self-compassion can take you.

Diva Do

Take 10 minutes today to sit down and write yourself a letter of encouragement. Think about all you have accomplished over the last twenty days. Be your own cheerleader and revel in your successes. Savoring life’s joys and victories will make the good last longer and the negative seem less important. If you find those perfectionist tendencies surfacing or the negative ticker tape rolling, and you are feeling as though you are not enough, then use this as an opportunity for some self-compassion.

Think of a time during the last three weeks when you felt “not enough.” Describe how the incident made you feel. Did you feel shame, anger, guilt, embarrassment? Keep this incident in mind, and add to your encouragement letter a bit of compassion, understanding, and acceptance for the part of yourself that you felt was lacking. Avoid judging yourself, and write as if you are giving advice to a dear friend you love unconditionally. Ask yourself what you could do in the future to improve this negative aspect. Focus on how a small shift or positive step forward could help you thrive, feel happier and healthier, and avoid judging yourself.

Read this letter from time to time (especially in challenging times) as a reminder to be more self-compassionate.

 

Day 21

 

Inspiration

“We often wish and pray for mountains of difficulty to be removed, when we should be praying for the courage to climb them.” —Anonymous

Affirmation

“I am courageous.”

Meditation Moment

The Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), otherwise known as Tapping, is a tool that has vastly improved my stress levels and quality of life, helped me move beyond fear, and eased my anxiety and worry. EFT was developed by Stanford engineer Gary Craig in 1993. EFT is a specific algorithm for “tapping” on energy meridian end points, which sends a calming response to the body.

You may be wondering how tapping on “energy meridians” can help with anxiety and overall well-being. If you think about it, our bodies haven’t changed all that much from those of our hunter-gatherer ancestors. When we feel threatened or endangered, the part of the brain called the amygdala begins to fire off, and we go into fight-or-flight mode. This is the area of the brain where the stress response begins. On a moment’s notice, our body reacts to a perceived threat by increasing our heart rate and pumping adrenaline through our body. Our muscles tense up, and our body is ready to either fight or run away.

The problem we face in this modern day is that our amygdala cannot tell the difference between a real threat or a perceived one, so getting into a heated discussion with your boss can create the same physical response our ancestors had when faced with a wild beast. Tapping on the end points of meridians sends a calming response to the body, and the amygdala recognizes that it’s safe. Science supports this too. Research at Harvard Medical School over the past decade has shown that stimulation of selected meridian acupressure points decreases activity in the amygdala.

To take it one step farther, doing the tapping while imagining or discussing a stressful event counteracts that stress and reprograms the response to it. When you focus on your stressor while you tap on the energy meridian end points or acupressure points, you will find that you can have the same thought but without having the physical anxiety. This allows you to easily let go of whatever stressor or negative thought is bothering you by replacing it with a much more empowering thought.

Tapping may seem strange at first and may take a bit of practice. The first thing is learning the meridian end points, or tapping points.

Karate-chop point, located below your pinky on the soft part of the outside of your hand

Eyebrow point, located in the inside corner of your eye socket right where the hair of your eyebrow begins.

Side of the eye, located on the outside corner of the eye socket at the side of the eye (it’s not on the temple; it’s actually on the bone).

Under the eye, located on the bone just underneath your eye.

Under the nose, located under your nose, between your nose and lip.

Chin, not the chin point, but located on the crease between your lip and your chin.

Collar bone, located in the center of the upper part of your chest where a man’s bowtie would lie (tap here with your entire hand).

Under the arm, located under your arm, located about 4 inches below your armpit

Top of the head.

Tapping

  1. Rate your issue. Give your feeling, whether it’s physical or emotional, a rating on a scale of 1 to 10. If you’re tapping on a physical symptom, ask yourself, “On a scale of 1 to 10, how painful is it, 10 being very painful and 1 I barely feel it.” When measuring emotions, you can ask yourself, “How much anxiety do I feel on a scale of 1 to 10?”
  2. Craft a setup statement. Create a statement that expresses your stressor and then your unconditional acceptance of or love for yourself. Here is an example: “Even though I am anxious about the presentation I am giving tomorrow, I accept myself.” There are different variations to the second part. Some people say, “I love and accept myself,” or “I accept myself and how I feel.” It’s not really about using the perfect words. It’s about saying the words that bring up the emotion and energy (fear, anxiety, worry, or physical pain) that you want to clear. I hope through this program you’ve become more comfortable with talking to yourself from a place of love, but it may still seem foreign to you. Perhaps you fear that accepting yourself means you accept your current situation, so nothing will change, yet it’s often our inability to accept ourselves that keeps us stuck.
  3. Tap on tapping points. While you tap with your four fingers on the karate-chop point for five to seven times, repeat the setup statement three times. Then begin to tap on other points, beginning with the top of your head. Tap with your fingers on one side or the other or both together (I prefer both) five to seven times at each point while simply saying how you feel. Be honest with how you feel. Take a deep breath once you have finished the sequence.
  4. Rate your issue. Rate the intensity of your issue again. Repeat until you get the relief you desire.

Diva Daily

Chances are when you got your PCOS diagnosis, fear was your first emotion. I know it was mine. Knowing that I had an incurable chronic health condition that could ultimately lead to cardiovascular disease, type 2 diabetes, and fertility struggles was terrifying. Fear and anxiety immediately made me imagine the worst-case scenario for my life. Would I ever live a healthy life, have children, and feel like myself again? Could I thrive?

In time, I came to realize that in order to heal, I had to climb the mountain and move beyond fear. I could not have done it without:

Courage. It takes courage to begin and forge the path ahead.

Knowledge. A large part of fear comes from the unknown.

Action. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Take action.

Persistence. Even when you slip and fall or are fatigued, you brush yourself off, persist, and keep moving forward.

Fear holds back way too many women from thriving. When you allow fear be in control, you are missing out on everything that could be yours. After the three weeks of the 21-Day Plan are finished, keep transcending your fears through courage, knowledge, action, and persistence. Life begins outside of your comfort zone.

Please take the PCOS Diva Symptom Assessment again. Compare your new results with the results of the assessment you took at the beginning of the program. Let these positive results propel you forward to continue to nurture yourself.

Daily Do

Think back to the beginning of the program. When you were prepping for the 21-Day Plan, what were your fears? Were you afraid that you would be hungry all the time? Were you afraid of failure? How did you work through your fears to arrive here at Day 21? What treasures have you discovered along the way? You’ve scaled the mountain in this program, yet there are many more peaks to climb. How can you continue to move forward with courage, knowledge, action, and persistence?