My life has been a tapestry of rich and royal hue
An everlasting vision of the ever-changing view.
A wondrous, woven magic in bits of blue and gold
A tapestry to feel and see, impossible to hold.
—Carole King,
Tapestry
My tapestry of life is so rich, vibrant and fascinating to me that it’s hard to believe I was fortunate enough to have lived it.
Its brightness comes not just from the exotic places I’ve visited, but the people I encountered along the way, many of them valiantly and silently fighting for daily survival while maintaining their human dignity. They were my human luminous light houses in my journey through the dark, cold frightening places in my life’s journey. They kept me focused and true to the human spirit.
I see on the tapestry images of a four-year-old child battling all night against cholera in the Kassala refugee camp in Eastern Sudan and winning; my An Duong village clinic construction committee making a two-hour journey over a dangerous road during the Vietnam War to give me going-away presents; my best Iranian friend in Iran risking arrest by the new Islamic government after the fall of the Shah to air freight my personal possessions to me in America.
Then there was the doctor with the Thai Ministry of Public Health who always introduced me at every meeting as his “mentor;” the copper bracelet received for marking a mine field for a village’s safety in South Sudan during the civil war; the African-American I met in West Africa who has returned to his home country in Liberia under threat of death to help his motherland in its fight for democracy and freedom; the little Kosovar girl who came to the Camp Hope refugee camp in southern Albania during the Kosovo war, knowing she was safe from being raped “because the Americans were there.”
And what provides the richness and texture of this fabric are the men and woman I have worked with in the field. These deep threads include host country government leadership; local and international NGO field staff who put cross-cultural development above ego and power, at the risk of their own lives; the highly qualified local men and women who supported the United Nations and local and international NGOs. They are underpaid, overworked and do their duty in the worst and sometimes most dangerous conditions. They arrive home at airports unnoticed for their heroism.
These are the ground troops and unsung heroes in the continuous fight to save people’s lives, the battle for human rights and the dignity of the human race, epitomized by a Muslim colleague who comforted me after seeing me upset about staff decisions that would put our staff in “harm’s way” by telling me “we all pray to the same God;” a supervisor who was brave enough to send a cable to a US president telling him the truth of the US Indochinese Refugee Program only to be fired for honesty; my USAID mentor counseling me when I begin to realize the ugly truth about the Vietnam War; a Belgian WHO doctor telling me during the Vietnam War that my sole duty as a public health advisor is to save only one life, knowing I would save more.
The tapestry is strengthened by the way it is made. The tight knots in the stitching are formed by my work ethics and love of country given me by my blue collar family, the support and encouragement provided me by my wife and daughter, my friends from elementary school, high school, college and Vietnam provided me with a sense of unity and bonding. SUNY Brockport and the University of Michigan gave me the analytical and programmatic tools to contribute to my profession.
The people of Vietnam and other “developing world” locations gave me the sensitivity and humility to care for my fellow human beings, the endurance to persevere during the worst circumstances, the structure to listen, learn and the strength of honest friendships.
Yes, there are some dark places in the tapestry, representing the ghosts of sad and sometimes horrific events. And there are stains that remind me of hate, ego and betrayal. None of them can be washed away, nor should they be. They too are learning experiences, sometimes more so than the good times in my life. These marks exemplify hard-fought experience—and in the name of public duty, they can’t be forgotten. The dark places and ugly stains mark the cloth like military medals, and without them the journey and learning experiences would be far less than I have received.
The first stain came in Vietnam when a senior US government official, finding out I was heading home to attend college, told me to “demonstrate for the war instead of against it,” since he had grown rich because of it.
But it was my last ten years of service at CDC and CARE that truly serve as a microcosm for the marks that stain body and soul. In the late 1990s CARE established what amounted to a discrimination policy against white males and females, and I was one of its victims. At the time I had been Deputy Director of the CARE/USA Emergency Group for five years. My boss, the director of the Emergency Group, was retiring. I applied for this position just after the 9/11 terrorist attacks and before departing for Pakistan but upon my return CARE refused to even interview me. It was a move that shocked a lot of staff, since over my five years at CARE I had been “acting” director almost 40% of the time due to the travels of my boss. The person hired as the Director of the CARE Emergency Group had no emergency response or training and his previous job was that of a car salesman in Atlanta. The successful reverse discrimination law suit I filed in US District Court Northern District of Georgia; Atlanta Division (Civil Action File No 1:03-CV-0061) more than proved my case.
Many former and current staff members supported what I did. When Paul Barker, my supervisor in Pakistan, found out that my yearly evaluation did not include work on the Pakistan/Afghan border, he wrote to my new boss: “First of all I would like to give Paul Giannone credit for bravery. For any American to get on a plane so soon after 9/11 and fly to, of all places, Peshawar, Pakistan, requires a high level of bravery and commitment.” He later went on to state “Paul G. regularly attend UNHCR meetings. He drafted a document which would have laid the ground work for CARE collaboration with UNHCR in the event of a major refugee influx. And he did all of these things while suffering a double hernia.”
This information was never put in my yearly evaluation to upgrade it.
There is still hope for CARE. I still tell people that CARE field staff are some of the best in the world. CARE had major problems with senior staff, especially at the director level. On April 19, 2015 Michelle Nunn was selected as the President of CARE. This is a person I totally respect and have politically voted for when she ran for the US Senate. I pray she can bring the humanity, trust and compassion back to the headquarters staff.
At CDC, my education on the realities of the politics of humanitarian work continued. A doctor known for abusive behavior toward staff members (including myself) triggered several letters of protest to upper management. Despite that, he was promoted.
A CDC staff person took a weapon into a CDC facility which is against federal law, and later threatened suicide and suggested a willingness to take other staff along. This individual was not fired, disregarding the rights and the protection of those working near his cube.
During the height of the Ebola crisis CDC was desperate for qualified staff to deploy to West Africa. I was asked to deploy immediately because of my emergency response experience in Sierra Leone and Guinea and a long history of emergency work in Africa but the request was rescinded when it was recalled I was on the CDC “naughty list” for asking difficult non-status quo questions. Other qualified staff were not deployed for the same reason. Against HHS deployment policies, many of the CDC staff who were sent to West Africa had no experience in Africa, let alone West Africa. Later a CDC senior staff apologized in the media for the cross-cultural mistakes made by these novices. People in Africa and other international locations have their lives put at risk when CDC deploys unqualified staff. Retrospectively, CDC has documented that West Africans were contaminated with Ebola because those sent to help them had no knowledge or burial customs84. Ironically CDC was able to publish papers on this issue without truly acknowledging their potential contribution to the death by deploying unqualified staff.
In my last two years at CDC I witnessed a microcosm that I had documented in my 40 year career. It was the answer to the questions our citizens often ask “Why does US foreign policy often fail?” It was the pattern of US foreign policy failure based on ego, power and money that I had first seen in Vietnam and witnessed again in Iran and numerous other countries. The deployment of unqualified staff. The fabrication of American “success” stories to please the budget process of a US Congress. The designation of unqualified staff as leaders who disdained any recommendations from junior staff. The multiple CDC lab accidents and staff complaints of safety. My whistleblower disclosure had over 31 external references of staff pleading for help or scientific professionals sounding a word of caution because they felt CDC staff and the citizens near CDC facilities were in danger. A quote from CDC employee Pam Gilbertz (AJC 3/27/2015) and head of the CDC union said it best: “How are we supposed to protect the public, if we can’t even protect ourselves? Once you’re identified as a troublemaker, your career is shot at CDC.”
Two other anonymous quotes published in the Lancet Medical Journal (3/3/2012) state: “CDC is no longer a science based organization…. Skills, training and experience are secondary when making important decisions” and “An object evaluation of this center and its activities are long overdue, in fact, an in-depth congressional investigation might be in order.”
And then, the ultimate betrayal of the whistleblower process concerning my disclosure (OSC File No: DI-14-3809)—the Office of Inspector General at the US Department of Health and Human Services determined that CDC could investigate itself. Not surprisingly, the accused found themselves “not guilty,” while staff and citizens lives remained endangered.
Forty years of emotion came back to me at that news. Once again, I could see myself pleading and on the edge of tears in a Saigon hotel room in 1970 with my friend and mentor Dennis Baker over the death of US Marines not far away, while the rich government officials dined in protected luxury realizing that the policies based on lies and treachery would not end with that conflict. The Vietnam foreign policy experience would be “exported” to other countries and imbedded in our federal agencies. And then it happened again in Singapore as the US administration twisted history to make the North Vietnamese the sole creator of all the suffering of the “boat people,” and when I saw a US consular officer fail to report facts to the US Embassy in Tehran to protect his career. Yes the American government is capable of pursuing policies that were not only harmful to the citizens of this world but threaten the lives of American citizens. My stories of the move of refugees in Vietnam, the Iran debacle and the boat people stand as well documented statements on what the American government has become. Can we be surprised at the fiascos of Afghanistan and Iraq? Can we be surprised at the type of egocentric leadership we have today in the White House?
At the end of my life’s journey I am fulfilled with what I have personally accomplished in my profession but I would not be true to my own spirit if I did not admit there is some disappointment in the trek. The vision I had as I came out of the rice fields in May 1971; my personal “Holy Grail” of a changed and humanitarian US foreign policy based on our Constitution and Bill of Rights, has not been realized. The US government does not learn from its mistakes. With President Trump, America has voted the country back into the prejudice and saber rattling years of the 40s, 50s and 60s.
There is a glimmer of hope. I still believe Americans are stronger than this. The answers are still there, documented in books and the press. Books like “The Pentagon Papers;” “Winners and Losers;” “Fiasco;” “Fire in the Lake: The Vietnamese and the Americans in Vietnam;” “Reclaiming Democracy” and “Drift.” All give insights on why our democracy and policies fail and what to do to correct them.
In the last chapter of her book “Drift,” Rachel Maddow’s provides ideas on how to change. But I fear those in power in America will do nothing about it. In the end I will cling to my truth and continue to support the humanitarians and military personnel who do the good work, risk their lives and save lives at field level.
So there sits my proud tapestry of life. It is the yin and yang of 40 years of public health and emergency response work. In the end I believe the good will outweigh the bad, and those who do good work will win out. But the road ahead will be dangerous and difficult and it can only be accomplished if Americans get off their couches and get involved to save the country.
There are beacons of hope off in the distance rising from the soil. The “Me Too” movement, the “March for Our Lives,” “Black Lives Matter,” and the heroic thumbs down vote to stop the repeal of Obama Care by the late senator and war hero John McCain are hopeful signs of America reawakening to the realities of our political and social world.
In the waning light of a wonderful career and life’s journey I know now that it is time to pass the baton. I pass this baton of hope and service to my daughter Kara, a public health graduate student at Emory, and any other young or old students of public health and emergency response and the grass roots movements mentioned who believe in the American democracy, are willing to open their hearts and minds, ask the hard questions, learn and take action.
It is their turn to create their own tapestry and become the doers and teachers for our democracy and those in need.
“You who are on the road
Must have a code that you can live by
And so become yourself
Because the past is just a good-bye.
Teach your children well,
Their father’s hell did slowly go by,
And feed them on your dreams
The one they picks, the one you’ll know by.
Don’t you ever ask them why,
if they told you, you will cry,
So just look at them and sigh
And know they love you.
And you, of tender years,
Can’t know the fears that your elders grew by,
And so please help them with your youth,
They seek the truth before they can die.
—Graham Nash,
Teach Your Children
84 Curran KG, Gibson, JJ, et al. “Cluster of Ebola Virus Disease Linked to a Single Funeral — Moyamba District, Sierra Leone, 2014.” MMWR Morb Mortal Wkly Rep 2016;65:202–205. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 2016.