I get an e-mail from Jenna.
It reads, “I don’t know exactly how to tell you this, so I guess I’ll just do it. I’m getting married to Mitch on Saturday.—Me.”
Jenna was my longest relationship—four years. I’m pretty sure she was the only girl I ever really loved. She was going to move out to California with me after she graduated from college in Colorado so we could get married. Instead, the week of her graduation, she got arrested for stealing from Forever 21, where she was an assistant manager and apparently the ringleader of a scam in which she and fellow employees would take clothes that customers returned instead of noting the return and putting the merchandise back on the shelves as dictated by the Forever 21 employee handbook. The same week she told me she couldn’t afford a place of her own so she moved in with her “friend” Mitch, who was the manager of a NASCAR Superstore in the mall. She dumped me a few weeks later. We haven’t talked since.
I remember meeting Mitch and the only things that stand out are that he had fucked-up teeth and that he’s a born-again Christian.
Strangely the e-mail doesn’t surprise me that much. It doesn’t bother me at first, but then I realize the concrete reality of the situation is that I will never fuck her again. I immediately turn off my computer and jerk off to memories of fucking Jenna in the ass in her parents’ bed, her jerking me off as I shoot a load on her face, fucking her in her parents’ swimming pool while they were inside with a prayer group, every load I ever shot down her throat, and the night I took her virginity. I try to convince myself that this is the last time I will ever think of Jenna. I immediately know I’ll think about her again if for no other reason than she was the first girl I ever fucked in the ass, and that is one of my favorite memories.