chapter one: Christmas with Mom and Dad
chapter two: The Flight Back to L.A.
some chapter: Casey at the Gym
chapter three: Century Fucking City
chapter four: Brunch
some chapter: An Average Sunday
chapter five: Groundlings Party
chapter six: My Gay Buddy
some chapter: Closure
chapter seven: I Don’t Believe in Destiny
chapter eight: Casey’s New Diet
some chapter: Communication Is the Foundation of Any Good Relationship
chapter nine: Burbank Strip Club
chapter ten: Stevie
some chapter: Scarface Part 1
chapter eleven: I’m Starting to Believe in Destiny
some chapter: Scarface Part 2
chapter twelve: Plans
chapter thirteen: A Call from Casey’s Mom
chapter fourteen: First Date
chapter fifteen: The Morning After
some chapter: Hobo
chapter sixteen: Casey’s Homecoming
chapter seventeen: Chance Encounter
some chapter: Internet Personals
chapter eighteen: Casey’s Parents
chapter nineteen: Apartment Hunting
some chapter: Blood Cock
chapter twenty: Bon Voyage
chapter twenty-one: Be the King
some chapter: Little Kids
chapter twenty-two: Hi, Mom
chapter twenty-three: The Griddle
chapter twenty-four: The Drive to Casey’s House
some chapter: Veggie Love
chapter twenty-five: The Day After
some chapter: Rubbernecking
chapter twenty-six: Letter from Casey’s Mom
chapter twenty-seven: Psychosis
some chapter: UCLA Party
chapter twenty-eight: Second Date
chapter twenty-nine: Post-Lunch with Carlos
chapter thirty: Casey’s Shit
some chapter: The 98 Percent Rule
chapter thirty-one: Introducing Alyna
chapter thirty-two: Halo 2
some chapter: Jenna’s Picture
chapter thirty-three: Coffee with Casey
some chapter: Milla Jovovich
chapter thirty-four: It’s Official
chapter thirty-five: Alyna Finds My Stash
some chapter: Subway Whore
chapter thirty-six: Dinner with the Mother of My Child
chapter thirty-seven: Ex-Boyfriend Duane
some chapter: Gwen Stefani
chapter thirty-eight: Two-Month Anniversary
chapter thirty-nine: Another Chance Encounter
chapter forty: Carlos’s Gay Party
some chapter: Finger in the Two-Hole
chapter forty-one: The Test
some chapter: Hot Girls Give Gay Guys Partial Handjobs
chapter forty-two: Casey’s Underwear
chapter forty-three: Cap and Gown
some chapter: Scarface Part 3
chapter forty-four: The Final Final
chapter forty-five: Graduation Day
some chapter: Diamonds in the Rough
chapter forty-six: Long Story Short
chapter forty-seven: The End
An Excerpt from The Average American Marriage
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
acknowledgments
about the author
copyright
about the publisher