I drop Casey off at the airport at 5:30 P.M. I have to pick up Alyna for our date at 8:30. Casey kisses me on the cheek and says, “See you in a few days, fiancé.”
“Right.”
As I drive back to my apartment I hope her plane goes down or gets hijacked before she has a chance to tell her parents that we’re engaged.
Back at home I prepare for my date by jerking off while watching a rerun of 90210. I brush my teeth twice, take a dump, and then jerk off one more time in the shower just to make sure. I put on some clothes that I think are nice but not too nice, and wonder if Alyna will be wearing any underwear tonight. I wonder if she wears thong underwear. I imagine her ass in thong underwear. I jerk off again, then take a half shower in which I only scrub my dick and balls.
Alyna lives about three minutes away from my apartment in a university-owned off-campus apartment complex. I park my car and ring her apartment number on the call box of her building.
A girl says, “Hello.”
“Hi, I’m here to pick Alyna up.”
“She’s still getting ready, but I’ll buzz you in.”
When I get to Alyna’s door, I meet her roommate, Simone.
Simone is a hippie-type bitch who doesn’t shave her armpits or wear shoes. Despite the fact that she’s kind of fat, I wonder if there’s any chance of getting both her and Alyna drunk and coaxing them into a threesome. I wonder if she would lick my balls while I fucked Alyna.
Simone says, “So what’s your deal?”
“How’s that?”
“What’s your deal, man? What’re you up to?”
“I’m just here to take Alyna out.”
“Yeah, I know.”
I sit down on their couch.
She says, “So where are you from?”
“Originally?”
“Yeah.”
“I’m from Colorado. How about you?”
“Northern California. Santa Cruz.”
“And you go to UCLA with Alyna?”
“Yeah.”
“Have you known her long?”
“A year. You?”
“We actually just kind of met a week or so ago.”
I’m suddenly repulsed at myself for trying to get this hippie bitch to like me, but the thought of her eating Alyna’s pussy while I fuck her is enough for me to remain cordial.
She says, “Yeah, well, everybody meets everybody at one point in their relationship, you know, man?”
“Right.”
Alyna comes out of some back room—maybe a bathroom, maybe a bedroom. She says, “Sorry. You ready to go?”
“Yeah. Nice to meet you, Simone.”
I put my hand out to shake hers and she hugs me. She has mild body odor, but as her tits press against me I learn that they’re full and kind of sloppy, which, surprisingly, doesn’t repulse me.
Simone says, “You, too.”
As we’re walking out the door and I’m looking for a panty line on Alyna’s ass in a pair of tight slack-type pants, she says, “Bye, Simone. Don’t wait up.” I can’t see a panty line.
The ride to the restaurant is uneventful. She looks through the CDs I have in my car and we talk about our musical interests. As we pull into the restaurant parking lot she semi-leans over me to put a CD back in my sun visor CD carrying case and brushes me with her tit. It’s a little smaller than I originally thought, but a rock-hard B cup nonetheless. I think about her straddling me as I lick and bite at her tits.
The restaurant is a French place called Le Petit Chateau in North Hollywood.
When we get inside, we start drinking wine and the conversation comes a little easier. We cover the basics—ages, interests, hometowns, and we skirt around the issue of previous relationships. I don’t mention Casey.
A couple comes in and sits a few tables away from us. Alyna and I both notice them. The girl has a fucking amazing body, but her facial features are disproportionate in a way that makes me wonder if she has some kind of mild medical deformity.
She says, “Do you think they’re on a first date, too?”
“I don’t know.”
“I bet they are.”
“How can you tell?”
“It’s all in the way the guy is treating her.”
“And how’s he treating her?”
“The same way you’re treating me. He’s trying to impress her. He’s pulling her chair out, he’s being really nice, and he’s acting like he’s really interested in whatever it is she’s saying. He even unfolded the napkin and put it in his lap, just like you did when we sat down.”
“What does the napkin have to do with it?”
“I bet you never do that when you just go out to eat with your guy friends or with somebody you’re not trying to impress.”
I think about the last several times I’ve gone out to eat with Casey. Alyna’s right. She becomes immediately more attractive to me based on the fact that she seems smarter than Casey even though she’s younger.
I say, “Maybe it is their first date.”
She says, “Who do you think is having a better first date, us or them?”
“Definitely us.”
“And why’s that?”
“Because they’re not looking at us wondering if it’s our first date.”
She smiles.
The guy from the couple gets up from the table and excuses himself.
Alyna says, “Where do you think he’s going?”
“To the bathroom.”
“What if he’s going to call one of his friends to tell him how horrible the date is going and how he needs the friend to call him in the next ten minutes with some urgent emergency so he can get out of the date?”
“Do you have something like that planned to get out of this date?”
She laughs. “I might.”
We get our food and start eating. She eats like a girl—taking small bites and covering her mouth with her hand. But the pasta she ordered makes her lips wet and all I can think about is her sucking my cock. I make it my goal to shoot a load down her throat before the night’s over.
As we eat and talk some more we notice that the guy who left his first date earlier still hasn’t come back. The hot-bodied bitch is sitting at the table by herself, getting visibly worried.
Alyna says, “I bet he snuck out the window or something. I feel so bad for that poor girl.”
If the guy did sneak out the window, I admire him.
The front door opens and a guy in full knight armor walks in. Everybody in the place stops eating and watches the following first-date nightmare unfold.
The knight walks over to the table where the hot-bodied bitch is sitting alone and gets down on one knee. He flips up his visor and it’s the guy who went to the bathroom twenty minutes ago. He proposes. She accepts. The whole place goes crazy. As Alyna stares in silence at the unfolding events, I can’t tell if she’s disgusted or on the verge of tears because this moment is so magical.
I want to know what’s running through Alyna’s head. It’s probably something attaching far more meaning to this event than it deserves, especially since it happened on our first date. Casey would have thought the whole thing was a sign from God that we should get married.
To diffuse the situation I try to make a joke. “I guess they’re having the better first date now.”
She says, “That is so fucking stupid.”
I can’t tell if she’s talking about the knight or about my joke.
She says, “Does that guy think he’s being romantic?”
She’s talking about the knight.
“It worked.”
“I just think marriage is so stupid. Seriously, what we just saw basically defines all marriages—some guy makes an ass out of himself and the girl is too overwhelmed by it to think straight enough to say no.”
I’m impressed. I say, “So you don’t want to get married?”
“Look, I know this is kind of a big subject for a first date and everything, but no, I don’t want to. I don’t want to have kids either. What about you?”
“Same pretty much.”
She smiles again.
As we finish eating, the newly engaged couple is visited by practically every woman in the place. They all tell the guy in the knight suit that it’s the most romantic thing they’ve ever seen. Alyna just eats her pasta.
When we’re done, I pay the tab and we leave.
Once we’re in my car she says, “So what’re we going to do now?”
“Whatever you want.”
“I want to see where you live.”
I wonder if I should fuck her doggie style on the first date.
As we walk through the front door of my apartment, I can feel my cell phone vibrating in my pocket. I know it’s Casey, so I don’t answer it.
I say, “Do you want something to drink?”
“No. I’m fine. How long have you lived here?”
She walks in and sits on my couch.
“A year or so.”
I pour myself something to drink and then join her on the couch. Her pants are riding down in the back a little bit to give me a small shot of the top of her ass. She’s wearing a thong, which contradicts my earlier assessment of no underwear at all.
I say, “So…”
She takes the cue, leans in, and kisses me. Her mouth is warm and wet and I can already feel it on my cock. I get a hard-on instantly.
She pulls back and looks at me.
She says, “I better get back home. I have some tests to study for this weekend.”
I feel like I just hit a fucking brick wall going sixty and I’m flying through the windshield as I say, “What?”
“Yeah, I just have some things to do and I should really go home.”
I’m too confused to be pissed off and I say, “Okay, if you have to go I’ll give you a ride.”
“That’s okay, I can walk.”
“It’s late. I can drive you.”
“No, really, it’s fine.”
She gets up off the couch and says, “I had a really good time tonight.”
“Me too, so why are you leaving?”
“We just probably shouldn’t see each other again.”
“Why?”
“Listen, I should have never gone on a date with you in the first place. I have a boyfriend. We’re having some problems right now, but he’s still my boyfriend.”
Holy shit. I want to tell her that I have a girlfriend, that it doesn’t matter, that they don’t have to know. Instead I say, “Oh…”
She kisses me on the cheek and says, “Seriously, thanks, I had a really good time and you’re a really nice guy.”
She turns to leave and I say, “Why did you go out with me in the first place?”
“I don’t know. I’m sorry.”
And she leaves. As she walks out the door, I wish I would have fucked her or at least felt one of her tits. I lie down on my couch and smell the spot she was sitting on. I jerk off to the thought of her sucking my cock. I shoot my load into a napkin that’s been on my coffee table for a few days. I stare at the ceiling wondering if I could’ve fucked her if I had tried a little harder. I wonder if she’ll fuck her boyfriend tonight. I wonder if he’ll fuck her doggie style. I wonder if she’ll think about me while he does.
I experience a surprising moment of genuine sadness as I realize that I might never see Alyna again, when my cell phone vibrates again and it’s Casey calling from her parents’ house in Nebraska. She asks me what I did tonight but doesn’t let me answer before she tells me the good news that her parents were so excited when she announced our engagement that they’re coming out to visit their future son-in-law in a few weeks.
She’s still talking about something when I put the phone next to my head and fall asleep.