Alyna stayed at her apartment last night with the excuse that she didn’t want to be worn out for her big day. So I jerked off twice before falling asleep and realized that since Alyna and I started dating, the number of times I jerk off in any given week has dropped significantly. Barring the week of her final exams, I estimate my rate of jerking off while dating her to be once or twice a week, usually only to get to sleep if Alyna and I aren’t together on a given night. I realize I have never snuck away as Alyna slept to jerk off. The feeling of accomplishment and forward progress I get from this realization makes me eager to see her.
I take a shower and put on the clothes I bought at Banana Republic. Alyna’s graduation is in three hours, but I’m supposed to meet up with her so we can go to breakfast and she can introduce me to her family, who she is picking up at the airport.
When I walk into the diner where I’m supposed to meet them, I see Alyna, her dad, who reminds me in no specific way of Casey’s dad; her mom, who is a shorter, fatter, uglier version of Alyna; and her two brothers, neither of whom has a wife or children in tow. They all seem nice enough. And it begins.
The brothers give me a few words of caution about dating their sister and let me know not to treat her badly. The mom tells the brothers to back off and the dad keeps asking me what it is I do, even though I’ve told him multiple times that I don’t really do anything important or interesting.
All in all it seems to be going fine and I’m feeling very close to dodging the bullet of a conversation I don’t want to have with my girlfriend’s parents until Alyna’s mom says, “So you guys have been dating for a pretty long time.”
And the bullet hits me right between the fucking eyes.
Nobody says anything. Nobody wants her mom to say anything else.
She says, “Now that Alyna’s graduating, what do you guys think you’ll do?”
I don’t know exactly who this question is directed to, but I don’t answer. I just take a bite of toast and hope that Alyna will field the question, which she does.
She says, “Mom, I don’t know.”
Her mom says, “I mean, your father and I got married the week after we graduated from high school, and look at us now.”
I can tell Alyna’s dad wants to make some kind of joke but he holds it in. I wonder how many weeks after they were married he learned to do that.
Her mom keeps going. “Alyna, you’re going to stay out here, right?”
She says, “Yes, Mom. We’ve already had this conversation.”
Her mom says, “Well, if you two love each other, you should at least be living together just to test it out if you don’t want to get married right away.”
I think about faking a stroke or a seizure so I don’t have to listen to her mom anymore, but I don’t. Instead I just sit there and let her mom go on and on about how good marriage is. I wonder what her mom would think if she knew I’ve had my dick in her daughter’s ass. I wonder if she’s ever taken it up the ass from Alyna’s dad.
As she continues to extol the virtues of marriage, an uneasy suspicion works its way through me. It seems more than likely to me that the conversation Alyna had with me about marriage when she had me tied up naked to my bed with my dick in her hand was the direct result of some previous conversation she had with her mother.
I take a sip of my water, which by this point is just ice cubes, to quell the boiling heat in my intestines. I honestly don’t know what her mom says for the next ten minutes. All I can think about is that if Alyna and I were to have a daughter, someday Alyna would be telling all the same shit to some poor son of a bitch who just wants to fuck our daughter.
Alyna’s parents pay for breakfast and the last thing I remember her mom saying is, “You guys seem like you’re practically married now,” before we all get in our cars and drive to Alyna’s graduation.
I have the amazing privilege of sitting next to her mom during the ceremony.
Laura Ziskin gives the commencement address. I wonder how many cocks she’s sucked. I try to remember who spoke at my own graduation but can’t. Then the dean comes out and starts handing out diplomas.
As the students start to walk across the stage, Alyna’s mom says, “Oh my gosh, doesn’t she just look so good in her little cap and gown?”
I look at the stage, where her mom indicates Alyna’s sitting, but I can’t make her out. She looks the same as all the other twenty-one-year-old girls sitting in their bookstore-rented caps and gowns graduating with degrees in film studies so they can say they went to college before they locked some poor asshole into marriage and kids.
I look out in the crowd of family members and see if I can tell which of the guys are watching their girlfriends graduate knowing their lives will be over as soon as she crosses that stage.
They call her name, “Alyna Janson.” She stands up, walks over to the dean, looks out in the crowd, gives her mom a big smile and wave that’s caught on at least a dozen pictures snapped by every member of her family, shakes the dean’s hand, takes her diploma, and walks back to her seat, where she’s once again indistinguishable from everyone else.
The next student does the same thing. And the student after that does the same thing, too.
I hear Alyna’s mom whisper to her dad, “Do you remember when we graduated college?”
Then her dad whispers back, “We’d already been married four years and David was a month old.”
Her mom whispers back, “I just can’t believe our baby is done. She’s an adult now.”
Her dad whispers back, “We raised her good and she’ll do the same for her kids. We did good, Mom. We did good.”
I am repulsed by Alyna’s dad calling his wife “Mom,” and wonder if I had children with Alyna if she’d call me “Dad” or “Father.”
That night after I fuck her and pull out to blow my load all over her stomach and tits, I ask her that specific question. Instead of answering it she says, “Have you been thinking about having kids?” with too much enthusiasm to allow me to fall asleep for the rest of the night, despite sneaking into the bathroom twice to jerk off.