chapter 5
As I am rushing to get downstairs to greet my next client, I see a gentleman sitting alone in the upstairs waiting area at the center. I stop and introduce myself, asking if he is by chance waiting for me. He is and introduces himself as George. I am immediately drawn in by his captivating dark eyes that smile when he talks. George is here to explore issues with being severely overweight and overeating that have plagued him most of his life.
As I walk with him back to my office, he tells me that he is curious to explore whether his weight issues in his current life have to do with “carry over” from a previous one. He already knows of one past life in which he describes himself as being a “skinny hunter” whose brother, the strong, muscular tribal leader, got all the attention. He is curious to know if there are more.
George begins to tell me about his current life history regarding weight. When he was very young, his mother died. He was adopted and raised as an only child after being separated from his younger siblings. Childhood was mostly uneventful except that his new family moved around a bit due to his father’s job. George remembers that when he was a young boy his adoptive parents put locks on the refrigerator to keep him out because of his overeating, but he didn’t consider himself large. By high school, he was about twenty pounds overweight.
When it came time to choose a career, George decided on the military and did very well on his placement exams. He naturally excelled at math and was placed on a high-tech science track, which he gladly accepted. During this time, George developed a habit of eating junk food throughout the night to stay awake during the long nights of training. To manage his weight, he stayed on a regimented exercise program. However, over the course of his training, his weight gain began to spiral out of control. George was eventually discharged from military service before he could finish the program, for being overweight.
George was surprisingly happy to be discharged. He celebrated his freedom by eating whatever he wanted and giving up his regimented exercise routine. He found a career in the private sector using his military training and worked his way up, doing very well for himself. The habit of eating during the night to stay awake on the job continued and George’s weight spiraled even further out of control. Late-night eating became the norm. By this point the weight created difficulty with mobility and balance. It inhibited his ability to walk up and down steps or to get up out of a chair easily.
So, we begin the All Lives Session and George moves to a pleasant time during his fifth birthday party. “Georgie” is wearing a cowboy hat and holding a big birthday cake in his lap while his adoptive father takes pictures of him with the other kids to celebrate the occasion. Next, George moves back in time to the womb where he feels his birth mother’s heartbeat and hears the muffled sounds of those around her. This is another pleasant memory for him, so he spends some time here enjoying the comfort of his birth mother’s heartbeat and the chance to reconnect with her before continuing.
George easily drifted from the womb experience and found his way along his soul’s history to a lifetime that was relevant to his current life weight and overeating concerns. He landed in a scene on a battlefield in WWI wearing an American uniform and battle gear. He was a tall, lanky young man, only twenty-four years old, with blonde hair and blue eyes.
He could hear someone next to him address him as “sergeant” and felt himself trying to keep his helmet on his head as he turned toward that direction. He answered to the title of sergeant but gave his full name as Sergeant Harvey Wiseman. He observed the young recruit next to him—“the Kid,” as he called Private Gorham—who stood dutifully awaiting instructions from the sergeant. The troops were preparing for the impending battle that was making its way toward them. He explained that as a leader it was his job to first and foremost keep the men in line, keep them ready, and keep morale up.
As the sergeant heard himself reply to the Kid, he noticed he spoke with a distinct accent, quickly realizing he was British. He clarified that he was an Englishman by birth, but he and his mother had come to the States before the war had begun. She found work in a laundry and Harvey had joined the army as a means of gaining American citizenship.
Harvey confided that although he had experience and training, most of the time he felt like he had no idea what he was doing. “Although you’re never ready for the battle,” he stated, “you just hope to God you survive it.” He couldn’t let his men know he felt this way, so he put on a brave face and did what he had to do. He found himself constantly giving his unit, especially the Kid, instructions and a pep talk. As the battle moved closer, mortar shells landed close enough that they could feel them. The sergeant bravely looked into the Kid’s eyes and told him to put his heart into that gun and into serving his country. You don’t know the outcome but need to put your heart into it as you see your way through it. This is what counts.
The fighting had reached the trenches where the sergeant and his men lay waiting. The sergeant’s men proudly came up out of the trench, firing their weapons as mortar shells were coming down upon them. It was difficult to see through the haze it stirred up. “I just tell my men to keep moving, some get shot and killed … but I have to keep them moving,” the sergeant said. They fired in the direction of the enemy, not knowing if they hit anyone or not. At that moment, there was an explosion. The sergeant was hit first in his right leg by a bullet and was simultaneously knocked unconscious as he fell to the ground.
Waking up in the infirmary, the sergeant felt the pain of his bandaged leg and head as he saw the Kid standing by his bedside. The Kid was excited to be the one to tell the sergeant that “We did it, we pushed the enemy back.”
So that was it for the sergeant and the war. He left when he was able to limp out of the infirmary with the aid of a cane. Harvey went back to the States and worked as an army recruiter after the war. As his leg began to heal, he was relieved that he no longer needed the cane to be able to walk. He decided to keep the cane though because it made a great story for recruiting.
Harvey spent the rest of his days as a recruiter and his nights at the local pub. He never started a family of his own. Instead he kept himself busy, surrounded by many friends so as not to feel alone or regretful looking back at what might have been. Harvey ate well and drank well, masking any feelings of regret with his great sense of humor and stories of the war. He was still tall but had put on weight and had a pot belly from developing what he called a case of “the creeps.” “That’s what they call it when it just creeps up on you,” Harvey laughed.
Harvey’s growing weight eventually led to a heart attack in his mid-fifties one evening while leaving the pub with his friends. As he lay dying, his last thoughts were of the advice he had given to the Kid years before, hoping that the young recruit had followed that advice and kept his own heart in the right place.
Harvey’s guide greets him as he crosses into the spirit world. After a brief time in a place of rest and rejuvenation, he is taken to a room that is similar to a movie viewing room with a small screen and projector for Soul Reflection. Here he discovers that the purpose of that life had been leadership. He is told that as with everything, there is a spectrum to leadership. With leadership you have the people at the top controlling and leading the great numbers, while others participate at the bottom leading those around them. Harvey’s role was to lead those at the bottom.
His guide further explains that this went back to the pep talk there in the trenches with the Kid where he had advised him, “Don’t worry about what happens to you as long as you put your heart into what you do. Where you put your heart is what matters.” Harvey used that a lot in life whether going into battle or with recruiting new recruits.
So here we are with a really great session, but we still don’t know what this has to do with George’s current life concerns about his weight or overeating, which was the reason for the session. And here is another lifetime of food and drink, this time to mask feelings of loneliness and regret. Coincidentally, in his current life George has also been in the US military, but had gotten out just after getting in, so we ask for help from his spiritual team to help us to understand the current life parallels to these two issues here.
First, George is told that the significance in choosing a life as a soldier was to awaken the understanding within him that when it comes to leading, it isn’t always about being in front for everyone to follow. Leadership is about being in the midst of it all and nudging in the right direction. George can lead by gently nudging others like the Kid, who in his current life continues to look up to him, the way he had when George was the sergeant. He can also learn to make better choices with food and drink than the sergeant had made and finally break the habit of late night eating he developed.
Second, his guide explains the significance of George having also been in the military in his current life: it was just enough to get George moving to where he needed to be going. His spiritual team advises him that he was never supposed to finish the science program; he was just supposed to start it. What may have appeared to be a “poor choice” in starting something he didn’t finish was actually needed to guide George in the right direction.
Lastly, George is told that the lifetime as the sergeant held the key to the message that he holds inside himself that he needed to hear again. Those words he gave as a battlefield pep talk for the Kid that also served him during the remainder of his own life as the sergeant, are the same words that George needs now to wake him up in his current situation.
His guide then clarifies that George is to remember the message in his current life, that it’s not about going through the motions, but putting his heart into things that he does. No more procrastinating—he’s to get started on his true passion, which is writing. George is told not to worry about being great, or how it will all turn out, just to put his heart into his well-thought-out-stories and get them out of his head and onto paper. The unfinished stories and looking back to what might have been are what have been “weighing on him.” George is reminded that his energy and his body are both interconnected. He is assured that following his passion for writing will free up his energy and allow him to lose the weight.
There is a lesson here about learning to appreciate choices that get you to your present situation and in moving on without regret or looking back to what might have been. These choices are meant to get you to where you are now.
Before the close of the session, George is given a symbol to remember the session by, which he recognizes as something he often doodles when contemplating a story idea. He immediately feels lighter, as if a burden has been lifted, and he is more focused on what it is that he needs to do next. No more procrastinating or staying stuck; it’s time to move forward in life with his writing instead.
Since the time of his session, George is now following his passion and his heart, putting both into his stories, which have been well received by his readers. George is learning to appreciate all of the choices, good and bad, that have led him to where he is now. He understands the deeper meaning, that following his heart is his connection to his soul, and he recognizes the many great stories his choices have given him to write about.
_ Soul-Minded Journaling _
What are you “weighting” for in your own life? What emotions are weighing you down? What areas of your life are you procrastinating about? What regrets have you looking back at what could have been? Is there a situation from your past that you need to make peace with? Are you just going through the motions in life? What are you passionate about? What’s your heart’s desire?
Are you using food and drink as a mask to avoid dealing with those emotions or to avoid taking steps toward your goals in life? Do you feel that you have to be “out in front,” making big gestures in order to help others or achieve your goals, or can you make desired changes without it being disruptive and needlessly turning your life upside down?
Look for ways to achieve your goals more smoothly and easily, beginning with where you are right now in your life and taking small, steady steps toward them. Are you so focused on the outcome that you can’t seem to get started in the present? What is holding you back? What are you waiting for?
What does your future hold? Sit with your feelings. Where is your heart?
What would you like to create in your life if you could have your “heart’s desire”?
Entertain those thoughts of what it would look like and feel like to have your heart’s desire fulfilled. Feel it and really own it as you do!
Now write a short, empowering statement that strengthens you and moves you toward this goal as you repeat it to yourself. (Ex. Every day I am taking steps to be free of the excess weight. Every day I am happy and healthy in my thoughts and choices. I appreciate my past and my choices for what it has taught me and for bringing me to this present moment in my life.)
Put it on a sticky note in a place that you’ll see it throughout your day (refrigerator, computer, car).
Repeat your empowering statement ten times each morning when you wake up, throughout your day, and ten times at night just before bed. Put your heart into it and feel it as you do this.