CHAPTER ONE
THE LOST FLEECE
Jason stomps through the city of Iolcus. He is mad. Angry. Fuming hot, like a dragon’s breath pepper. Peppers so spicy, they burn—literally. If you eat one, actual flames will shoot out of your actual butt.
THAT is how mad our hero is!
Jason enters the palace. He storms down a hallway with his footsteps CLOMP! CLOMP! CLOMPiNG!
He is angry because his father, the king, has been thrown in jail. The worst part? His uncle, Pelias, put him there.
Jason barges into the throne room.
“I need to speak with you, Pelias!” Jason shouts.
As he stands in the middle of the room, his stomach begins to gurgle. Not from eating a dragon’s breath pepper—no—but from being nervous and a little bit scared. Whenever that happens, his stomach rumbles and grumbles.
Sometimes when he’s really afraid, he even—PHHHTTTBBB!
“Do you need to use the restroom?” Pelias asks, wrinkling his nose at his nephew’s sour fart.
“No!” Jason exclaims. “That’s not why I’m here!”
Jason’s stomach continues to make all sorts of noises. But he is not afraid of his uncle. Pelias is a weaselly little guy with a whiskery mustache. The guards next to him are another story. They have lowered long pointy spears at Jason.
Our hero is deathly allergic to pointy things, especially when they are pointed at him. PFFFTTT! He toots.
“Are you sure?” his uncle asks.
“No! I want to know why you threw my father in jail,” Jason demands.
“Because he lost the royal fleece,” his uncle replies.
Most rulers wear gold crowns as a sign of their power. Others have bejeweled staffs. But not the rulers of Iolcus. They wear a robe called a fleece. It is not golden or covered in jewels or special in anyway.
Actually, the fleece is kind of old and funky smelling, like a wet dog that has rolled around is something super stinky. It is made of the wool from a ram his great-great-great grandfather once owned.
“It was an accident,” Jason says.
It really wasn’t. His father had challenged King Aeetes of Colchis to a burping contest. And his father let loose such a ginormous belch that he passed out from lack of oxygen. King Aeetes then stole the fleece.
“That’s no excuse,” Pelias says.
Jason wishes he could just kick his uncle off of the throne, but the guards continue to point their long, pointing spears at him. And that causes his stomach to warble and garble.
Jason lets out another PTTTHHHBBB!
“Are you sure you don’t need to use the restroom?” his uncle asks again.
“No!” Jason shouts. “I just want my father, the king, released from prison.”
“Not without the fleece,” Pelias says.
“Then fine! I will get it back!” Jason exclaims.
He spins around to leave, but not before letting loose another PTTTHHHBBB! and a little PFFT! for good measure.
“And maybe I will hit the can on the way out!” Jason shouts as he walks out of the throne room.
