Focusing on the positive, the solution, and the future, facilitates change in the desired direction. Therefore, focus on solution-oriented talk rather than on problem-oriented talk.
Focusing on the positive, the solution, and the future, facilitates change in the desired direction. Therefore, focus on solution-oriented talk rather than on problem-oriented talk.
With the checklist for a well-defined goal and the map for solution construction in hand, we are now ready to look at the hypothetical solution frame in more detail. The hypothetical solution frame is the easiest to start with. By using this frame, you are more likely to evoke a linguistically positive statement; with a solution stated in the positive, you are already constructing solutions.
The hypothetical solution frame is used under these circumstances: when we seem to have difficulty with clients coming up with a positive framing of their goal; when we seem to have difficulty with clients coming up with exceptions since they seem to be having difficulty viewing their situation in any way other than the problem frame; or when we want to check how the exceptions compare with how clients imagine the solution to be.
As we mentioned briefly in the previous chapter, the advantage of the hypothetical solution frame is that it enables clients to free themselves from the confines of how they have defined the problem. The confines of the problem definition very often allow for only a limited number of options for solutions.
For example, if clients define their problem as binge and uncontrolled eating, they usually define solutions in terms of trying to control their desire for food and their eating. They sometimes say that they cannot control their appetite and their desire for all the wrong foods. They spend much of their time, therefore, worrying whether they will stick with a food plan and stay away from sugars and other “bad” foods. The problem in the clients’ view is defined as lack of control and their efforts are classed under attempts to control desires and appetite. If you were to ask for exceptions at this point, you would get exceptions about when clients are “in control” of the desires for food. These exceptions are not particularly useful because the clients are still within the unworkable problem frame. These are times when clients think they are able to control their desires and make themselves not think about something.
When we ask clients what they will be doing differently when the problem is solved, they often report that they will be thinking about other things in their life rather than worrying about their appetite and eating habits and will have a perspective on food in relation to the rest of their life. This frame of thinking of other things in life and thinking differently about food is much more open. It does not involve control of desires, that is, trying to not think of food. The frame allows clients to think in a more open way of the many different things they may think about instead of their worries about food. They can also consider in what ways that perspective might be different or useful.
Introducing a conversation around a life without the problem allows people to enter the realm of possibility. Their previous frame offered only a restricted view that was not working.
The hypothetical solution frame can be introduced in many different ways to match the client’s worldview. The form articulated by the Brief Family Therapy Center in Milwaukee is the “miracle question,” which goes as follows:
“Suppose that one night, while you were asleep, there was a miracle and this problem was solved. How would you know? What would be different? How will your husband know without your saying a word to him about it?” (de Shazer, 1988, p. 5)
This was an adaptation of Erickson’s crystal ball technique (Erickson, 1954). The idea behind the technique was to have the client create a representation while in a trance of a future with the problem solved or without the problem. The idea was to have the client look backward from the future toward the present and identify how she/he reached a solution.
Using the hypothetical solution frame carries out the same idea, although no formal trance is needed.
The hypothetical solution frame can be introduced in various ways, depending on the worldview of the client. If the client is likely to accept the notion of miracles, then we use our variation of the original miracle question of Brief Family Therapy Center.
If a miracle happened tonight and you woke up with the problem solved, or you were reasonably confident you were on a track to solving it, what would you be doing differently?
This question invites the client to enter the frame of the problem as solved or on track to being solved. The “on track” frame allows for a more process-oriented answer. We also use the verb doing almost exclusively. As much as possible, we want clients to answer the question in terms of actions or of things they will be saying to themselves or to others, that is, the meanings they will be making.
This does not mean that we discount affect or feelings. We certainly support whatever feelings a client may be experiencing. For the sake of solution development, however, it is much easier to act your way to a feeling than to feel your way to a new action. It is easier to take an action and your feelings may change. If you wait for a feeling first, you may wait a long time. If you try to force a feeling, you may paradoxically produce the opposite of what you want. Anyone who has made an effort to feel relaxed or to feel happier when feeling down knows how counterproductive it is to try to force the feeling.
We elicit, whenever possible, statements that include some action, some behavior, some new framing, or something clients will say to themselves or to others.
Some clients answer the hypothetical solution question with a solution that will be an accomplished fact several months from now. Clients give us responses such as, “I will have decided whether or not to stay in my job” or “I will have a good self image.” These responses are stated as accomplished facts and are not nearly as useful as process descriptions. So we ask the miracle question again, this time stressing the “on a track to solving the problem” part of the question. We ask the question in this way:
So, let us say tomorrow you wake up, and you have not decided yet about your job, but you are thinking you are on track to making an eventual decision, what are you doing differently?
This will invite a response that is more here and now, more process-oriented, and broken down into smaller behaviors than a “decision.”
If clients tell us that they will feel differently, we respond with an acknowledgment of the feeling and a restatement of the question. For example: “When you feel that way, what will you be doing differently?”
If clients still have difficulty speaking out of their own frame of reference, shift to someone else’s. For example,
If I were a fly on the wall and watching you, what would I see you doing differently? What would I see that would tell me that you are feeling differently? How would someone in your family know?
These questions include an acknowledgment of the clients’ initial statement that they would be feeling differently. Without denying that, we accept that there will be a difference, and still ask for information in terms of actions or thoughts.
Other ways of introducing the hypothetical solution frame are as follows:
For little children, the notion of magic is useful, so the question would be introduced in terms of magic.
If we had a magic wand and the problem went away, what would you be doing differently?
We might also use the notion of pretending.
Lets pretend the problem is solved and you are having better luck with (getting along with the kids at school, getting better grades at school, getting to school on time … ). What are you doing differently?
For the practical minded client for whom miracles or magic would not fit, we might introduce the question in a more down-to-earth way …
If this were the last session and you were walking out of here with the problem solved, or you were at least on track to solving it, what would you be doing differently?
For clients who come in blaming their last six therapists and saying there was no progress, we might start with this:
If coming here was useful, what would you be doing differently?
If such clients answer the question as asked, they will enter the frame of their doing something differently, rather than one where the therapist is different.
For clients who do not think they will be “doing” anything differently, we might ask …
What do you think you might be saying to yourself or someone else that is different?
This question will invite a change in meaning around the situation even if the behavior or actions are no different.
There are as many ways to introduce questions within the hypothetical solution frame as there are clients or therapists. The thrust behind the different introductions is to utilize the worldview of clients in order to make it easier for them to enter the hypothetical solution frame.
When you ask questions within the hypothetical solution frame, you will run into all kinds of responses that may initially seem to be roadblocks. Clients may say, “I will not be doing anything different. I will just be feeling different” or “It is not I who will be different, it is my husband who will be different.” These are not signs of “resistance.” The client is entering new territory and may be struggling. Expect to go slowly and patiently. The client’s response is feedback to you and will tell you what to do next.
Usually, you need only to acknowledge the response and ask the question again, just as we discussed above with the “feeling different” response: “So, if you were feeling different, what would you be doing differently?”
If the client responds with a long pause and an “I don’t know,” accept the response at face value. The client probably has not thought about possible solutions before and probably does not yet know. Acknowledge the response, and ask the question again even when the question sounds totally illogical. “So, if you did know, what might you say?” The question on the surface makes little or no sense. When we first heard Insoo Berg use the question, we thought it was laughable. You will be amazed, however, that most of your clients will accept the question, sometimes with a smile, and then go on to answer it.
Some clients will respond with a statement that they will not be doing anything differently; their spouse will be different, or their children will be different. Acknowledge what they say and ask again.
So, when your husband is acting more the way you want him to, what will you be doing differently?
If they maintain they will not be doing anything differently, they probably believe from their frame of reference that they will just be themselves. Change the frame of reference and ask:
“What will your husband say you will be doing differently?”
In most cases, acknowledging what clients initially say and asking the question again or from someone else’s point of reference will ultimately obtain a workable response. Clients want to comply with our requests. This is usually a new way of thinking for many clients and you need to be patient.
The responses you receive to the hypothetical solution question need to be measured against the criteria for a well-defined goal. You will ask yourself whether what the client stated is linguistically positive, in a process form, in the here and now, as specific as possible, and in the client’s control. All the questions you have already learned with regard to developing the goal according to the criteria are relevant at this point.
According to our map, we now want to bring our hypothetical solution into the present and check out how the client imagines a solution may already be happening now. Attempting to bring the client’s hypothetical solution into the present may initially seem to not make sense to you. You might be wondering, “If we elicited a hypothetical solution, how could the hypothetical be happening now?” or “If the client constructed a solution within a ‘miracle’ frame, how could ‘miracles’ be happening now?” You might also be wondering how a client is going to report exceptions now if they did not before. As strange as it may seem, if we scale down the hypothetical, clients will search and find times when the hypothetical is happening now. To help scale down the hypothetical solution, we usually ask the question in this form.
So tell me about some times when this (the hypothetical solution) may be happening a little bit now.
With the insertion of the words “a little bit” or something similar, clients will be able to find exceptions now—that is, times when the hypothetical solution is happening now. Also, by instructing clients to “tell you about some times,” you assume that there are such times and they will search for them. In contrast, if you were to ask, “Are there some times when this happens a little bit now?” a client could easily say “no.” By instructing them to tell you about some times, you will more than likely get a response of exceptions.
Asking for exceptions or for times when the hypothetical solution is happening now is really a test of your conviction about the assumption that exceptions to every problem can be created by you and the client. As you gain more skill using the hypothetical solution frame and become more accustomed to asking for exceptions, you will find additional evidence for the assumption.
Often, with the difference in framing associated with the miracle question, clients can now find exceptions that they could not find before within the problem frame. From the earlier example about binge eating, the hypothetical solution of “thinking more about other things in my life” or of having a different “perspective” about food provides frames that are more workable than controlling thoughts and desires for food. With these new frames, the therapist and client have a better chance of identifying exceptions. We would ask for exceptions in this way: “Tell me about times now when you ‘think more about other things in your life’ or have more of the ‘perspective’ that you are looking for.” The client will begin to search for times in the present with this new frame of “thinking more about other things in my life” and “having a perspective on food in relation to my life.”
When the client responds with an exception, our conversation centers on the hypothetical solution in the present. The advantage of identifying the solution as occurring in the present—even if the identification is marginal—is that the goal of therapy can then be framed as “keeping this going” rather than as “solving a problem.”
Another advantage to locating the hypothetical solution in the present is that clients will start using present tense verbs, which usually means that they are stepping into their “movies.” In the hypothetical solution, the representation of the solution is often like a movie that clients appear to be watching as observers. This means at this point that they are still apart from the movie. By bringing the movie or hypothetical solution into the present with exceptions, clients may no longer be only watching. They may be reporting as if they had stepped into the movies and are reporting their experience.
If our bobsledders had watched movies of themselves only going down the run, their experience would not be as compelling as when they put themselves into the movie and experienced the run. The bobsledders in fact experienced the run visually, auditorially, and sensationally.
As clients report exceptions in the present, they are doing the same thing as the bobsledders. They are reporting in the present tense from their experience rather than as observers of an experience.
A couple complained of a competitive and conflictual relationship. The couple had been married for several years and stated that most of the time the relationship was bad. They also stated, however, that since they seriously discussed divorce two or so weeks before, the relationship had improved a bit.
The wife explained this improvement as a result of her “backing down” rather than fighting as she had most times and the husband explained it as a result of her listening rather than interrupting. We continued to discuss these better times to find out more about what they did that worked.
She reported that she was treating herself nicely by accepting a hug from him once in awhile and he stated he was trying harder.
She was skeptical, though, about these exceptions continuing because she felt that all the improvements were due to her efforts at “backing down” and that he thought the problems were all her fault. Although she could identify exceptions, she framed them within “backing down.” The “backing down” frame was likely to be only a short-term solution in her mind. If she thought she was backing down, she probably would continue to feel resentful of having to do that and would return to fighting. As long as he thought that she was doing all the changing and the problems were basically hers, he was not likely to do anything different or feel that he was part of the solution.
We asked the hypothetical solution question: “So, lets say a miracle happened and your relationship was going more the way you want, what would you be doing differently?” She stated there would not be any more competition. Since this was linguistically negative, we asked what would be going on instead. She stated there would be “understanding and tolerance.” This was positively stated, though still vague and not in a process form.
When we asked him what he thought he would be doing, he said he did not know. We accepted this statement and then utilized it in the following question: “Well, if you did know, what would you say?” He responded that there would be “more balance” in their relationship between time together and time apart. He thought they were feeling threatened by the time now spent apart. His answer of “balance” was positively stated, but it was still vague and not in a process form.
Our choice at this point was whether to get these statements of understanding, tolerance, and balance to become more specific and in a process form or to follow the map into exceptions and find out how understanding, tolerance, and balance may be happening a little bit now.
Looking for exceptions is usually the first choice. The advantage is that the search brings the hypothetical solution, with its more positive and workable frames, into the present where the client can be specific and give us a process description. Within these frames of “understanding and tolerance,” the wife could now look at those times when things went better, when she did not see herself as “backing down,” and when he did something different. These exceptions of understanding and balance, would be more workable and he might have an easier time identifying what he did differently at these times, rather than thinking that all the good times were due to his wife’s being different.
These new frames of “understanding, tolerance, and balance” introduced with the hypothetical solution question were more open and positive than the initial problem frames. Within these frames, the couple could have a different “search” in the present. They could now have an easier time identifying things they were doing in the present that were already under their control, and that worked better.
Another advantage of bringing the hypothetical solution into the present is that clients will usually give you answers that are more specific and in a process form. They are, thereby, furthering the solution development according to the criteria for a well-defined goal.
When asked about how some of the hypothetical solution was happening now, this couple said that there were times when there was this “understanding” going on. She said that during these times she thought she listened more rather than trying to rebut everything he said, and that he did not walk away. What did he do instead of walking away? She stated that he was quiet and made it possible for her to say what was on her mind.
When we asked him what he was doing during these times, he did not know. Before we could ask, “Well, if you did know, what would you say?” she responded and said that he was more verbal and nicer. She previously became fearful of what he might be thinking of her when he was quiet or walked away. She liked his staying on and letting her know what he thought. This he could understand and he thought he could do more of it.
We gave the couple feedback at the end of the session that highlighted what they had identified as working within the more workable frames from the hypothetical solution. We told the couple that we were very impressed with these better times of “understanding, tolerance, and balance.” We were struck by how they did that and we wanted to know even more about those times. We, therefore, asked them to notice what other things they were doing during these times that they had not noticed yet so that they could tell us about such experiences next time.
The worksheet (Figure 4, p. 87) is a visual schema which includes the three main questions of a solution focus and the criteria for a well-defined goal. The worksheet will facilitate your keeping track of your client responses and what questions you may want to ask.
QUESTION:
I have asked clients what they want or what will be different when the problem is solved, and the clients tell me things like, “I will have lost 75 pounds,” or “I will have made a decision about whether to stay married or get a divorce.” When I try to explore what they need to do, we are stuck with all the diets that have already failed or with talk about their conflict and ambivalence about their marriage. What do you do in these situations?
Many clients respond to the hypothetical solution question with answers that describe remote solutions. Clients describe situations that will be occurring several months or longer from now and that describe a state of being or the conclusion to a process. The answer is helpful in that it describes what they are ultimately looking for. All we want to do, however, is facilitate the clients getting on track or in process. We do not want to make the goal of therapy an ultimate conclusion of lost weight or a decision. That might happen within the period they are seeing us, but we do not want to make the end result the goal. The goal is the process, a process of eating differently or of making steps toward some eventual decision about a marriage.
To make this clearer, remind yourself that this model is focused on “goaling” rather than on goals, or “solving” rather than on solutions. The “-ing” will be a reminder that we are interested in clients being in process.
So, when clients reply with a non-process answer such as, 75 pounds lighter, we ask,
So when you walk out of here today and you are not your desired weight yet, but you are on track to getting what you want, what are you doing differently?
Figure 4. Solution Construction Worksheet
Another question would be: “When you are on track, how will you be acting differently?”
The answer we receive to these questions is usually a more process-oriented answer that is more in the present. All the clients’ circumstances may be the same, but they are doing or thinking differently. This kind of answer focuses not only on what they are doing but also on things within their control. For those clients who tend to think that there are only two states of being, the problem time and the wonderful solution time when everything else outside of them is different, this questioning builds an understanding of process, of solving the problem or reaching their goal.
There are other possible approaches. We may ask, “When you are at your desired weight, what will you be doing differently?” Clients may then answer with what they will be doing or thinking differently after the hypothetical solution. If the client says something like, “I will be more assertive with people and likely to socialize more,” you can then ask, “How does this happen now a little bit?”
With the answer to this question, you are now talking about exceptional times when the client is already doing some of what she or he is ultimately looking for.
As mentioned in Chapter Four, many clients think in terms of A leading to B, and miss that B can also lead to A. If clients think they cannot be assertive or outgoing (B) until they lose weight (A), they miss out on the other side of the solution. That is, they may also lose weight (A) by doing more of what they ultimately want, acting more assertively or outgoing (B).
QUESTION:
You seem to be stressing a great deal of precision in your questions. Why is precision so important?
We think clients are cooperative, and they will often answer in just the way you ask the question. If you ask what will be happening (rather than what will they be doing), they will tell you about differences outside of themselves and in their surroundings. If you ask how they will be feeling, they will respond with statements of feeling. If you ask how the situation will be different, they may give you a very vague answer or describe how someone else will be different. Clients will usually answer the question just as it is asked, so you want-to think about what it is that you want to know. Do you want a feeling statement, do you want a statement of behavior, do you want a statement of the meaning the client may ascribe to the solution?
Conversing with a client is a little like working with computer software. If you were to cooperate with the computer by typing a certain direction according to the syntax of the software, the computer cooperates with that communication. If you are not precise with your typing or with your direction, the computer is not being resistant when it does not cooperate. It will respond appropriately to your communication. You must be precise in your direction or you will not receive the response you seek. You need to cooperate with the rules of the software.
With one of your clients, ask the hypothetical solution question and take notice of what they tell you. The first time you use the question, resist the temptation to do anything more with the reply. Just take note of what the client says, or how the client says it, or what the client does with it. When you feel you can no longer resist responding to the clients replies, then ask the client to tell you more about the hypothetical solution.
As the client tells you more about the hypothetical solution, write down the answers on the solution construction worksheet (Figure 4) and begin to use the checklist of criteria for a well-defined goal. Use the words “instead,” “how,” “specifically,” and “on track” to help the solution become more well-defined. Take the criteria checklist for a well-defined goal into the session with you.
If you feel somewhat hesitant about bringing the sheets into the sessions with you, use worksheets in between sessions to gauge the client’s progress in solution construction. You may then have some ideas about what questions you may want to ask in the next session.
Ask your clients to tell you about times when that hypothetical solution may be happening now even a little bit. This may seem initially like a slow and tedious process. It may seem too cognitive if you are somewhat affectively oriented. Be patient. The rewards will be more than gratifying.
You are now ready for the “exceptions frame.”