DO THIS: Pick a GoalWe began the last chapter by beginning to get clear about where we are starting from. Now it's time to set some goals. You picked up this book with some sense of what you want to create—more success, more money, greater financial experience. Now it's time to get specific.
Napoleon Hill, author of Think and Grow Rich, wrote something in that book, originally published in 1937, that still is true today: most people cannot tell you exactly what they want and how they are going to get it. He wrote,
Examine the first hundred people you meet, ask them what they want most in life, and ninety-eight of them will not be able to tell you. If you press them for an answer, some will say security, many will say money, a few will say happiness, others will say fame and power, and still others will say social recognition, ease in living, ability to sing, dance, or write, but none of them will be able to define these terms, or give the slightest indication of a plan by which they hope to attain these vaguely expressed wishes. Riches do not respond to wishes. They respond only to definite plans, backed by definite desires, through constant persistence.
Out of one hundred people, ninety-eight couldn't be specific—that's 98 percent. Are you one of the 98 percent? If so, take heart. You are about to become one of the 2 percent of people who know what they want and how they are going to get it.
The 2 percent are the ones who think and act like a millionaire.
There are entire books written about how to set goals—what they are, what you should never do when setting goals, etc. I've spent a lot of time on this topic, trying out different types of goals and goal setting. And here is what I've found: keep it simple, super simple, or KISSS. That's a play on the acronym KISS, which stands for Keep It Simple, Stupid. However, I'm not stupid, and neither are you, so I modified it to make it even clearer!
I've noticed, for both myself and for nearly all of the people I've worked with over the years, that the simpler a goal is, the likelier we are to achieve it. Many people set goals that are:
When you set goals that are like any of the above, they will be hard to take from dream to reality. The clearer and simpler your goals are, the more achievable they are.
Let me share a little secret that will help you create a goal: You don't have to make just one goal for your life. Some people get hung up on setting a goal because they think that one goal is what they'll need to work on for the rest of their life. What is better, is to create a goal that inspires you, delights you, and is just beyond your reach. Then, when you achieve that goal, you can set your next goal, and the next, and so on. If you do have a huge goal, then you can break it down into smaller goals.
Here's another piece of good news: you can change your goal as you go along. If you find that you've set a goal that is too small or you chose a goal that was something you thought you should choose rather than something inspiring, then change it. You should not need to change your goals that often, but goals can grow and change and expand as you grow and change and expand.
The point of having a goal is to have something that motivates you to achieve it. It's meant to be something that excites you, gets you out of bed in the morning, and keeps you wanting to move toward it. If you choose something that doesn't do those things, then you need to choose better. Napoleon Hill wrote, “Small fires create small heat.” This means that if your goal is too weak, then it won't be something you're excited to work toward.
On the other hand, if you choose a goal that is too big, too audacious, then it's going to feel overwhelming to try to achieve it.
Picking a goal that is far too big is a way of self-sabotaging your own success.
Picking something that is far beyond your reach will make it too easy to say to yourself, “See, this goal stuff doesn't work!” It didn't work because you chose something unachievable.
Let me be clear. In one sense, all goals can be achieved. However, if you're deep in debt and you pick “I want one billion dollars” as your goal, that is probably not going to happen. However, if you are deep in debt and choose “I want to be debt free” as your first goal, that is far more achievable, and once you achieve that, you can then create further goals. And then who knows? Maybe you can eventually level up to a billion dollars. But start with something that will work.
Similarly, if you choose a goal that is too small, then it won't inspire you. A person in one of my workshops said his goal was to have a salary of $50,000. I asked what his salary was at the time, and he said it was $45,000. That was a goal of earning $5,000. When I questioned if this was a big enough goal, he assured me it was. He soon dropped out of the class, and when I emailed him to ask why he left, he wrote that the class didn't seem to really inspire him. It wasn't the class that didn't inspire him, it was his goal. If he had chosen an exciting goal, then the class would have served him to achieve it.
Picking too small a goal is another form of self-sabotage.
When I ask, “What do you want?”—what is the first thing (or things) that come to mind? If I asked, “What would you love to have in the next six months or year?” Usually there is a quick idea that pops in our mind before our inner critic can shame us into choosing something else. Someone might think “to be a millionaire” before our rational mind (thinking it is helping you) rushes in with thoughts like, “That's too much” or “I don't deserve that” or “How could a million dollars ever appear in my life?” Whatever first popped in your head might be something to consider for your goal, or at least a starting place to determine your goal. In the example above, if a million dollars just feels too crazy or unattainable, then adjust it. I want your goal to feel:
Did you notice that I didn't mention picking a goal that you knew how to achieve? Pick a goal that is just beyond where you can figure out how to achieve, and then you can figure out how to achieve it along the way. The “how” will come step-by-step, and a lot of how will be through people or experiences that you can't even predict! And for goodness’ sake, don't choose a goal based on your current salary.
DO THIS: Pick a Goal
It's time to pick a goal. If you need some help, here are some of the most common goals that I've seen people choose over the years:
On the line below, or in your journal, write down what goal comes to mind:
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Now take a breath.
Again, this doesn't have to be the one and only goal you ever set. It doesn't have to be the greatest goal of all time. This is just meant to be your next goal. You can set many more after you achieve this one.
Look at the goal again. Is it too small? Too big? If you want, go back and cross out what you wrote, and adjust it a bit. If it feels a little too big, that's okay. You want something that is going to stretch you.
The single most common comment I hear from people in my workshops and classes is that they would love to set a goal that inspires them, but they just don't see how that goal can come to them. Sometimes “how” is the poison in our mind that keeps us from taking chances and choosing greatness.
I'm not suggesting you take reckless risks or believe in something that doesn't make sense. I am, however, asking you to push aside the question of how when creating your goal. Think of people who have achieved things. When they set out to make their goals and dreams come true, they didn't know every single step they would take to materialize it. Instead, they just took steps forward and figured things out along way. As they moved forward, they would experience synchronicities and coincidences, or meet people along the way that helped at them key moments, or things would happen that they never could have imagined. We don't have to know the whole path; we only need to take a step onto the path.
Many years ago, I went to a talk given by a Buddhist monk. This talk was held in a big beautiful home in Colorado, by invitation only (I was invited as the “plus one” of one of my friends). I walked into the house and immediately felt intimidated by the size of it and obvious wealth on display. It was light-years away from my tiny apartment, which I could barely afford at my $9,000/year salary. The people who owned this house had everything, and I felt that I had so little.
As the seventy or so guests chatted with each other in the stunning, spacious living room, I looked around feeling like I didn't belong because I didn't have as much (money, possessions, confidence, etc.) as the others in the room. Part of me wanted to run from the situation and go home. I felt so small.
And then suddenly the conversation ended, and the room became silent. I looked around to see what had changed, and that's when I saw a small man had entered. He was Asian and dressed in an orange robe. He had a small satchel dangling from his waist. As it turns out, everything that this monk owned in the world was in that satchel. I wondered what was in it—a comb? A little package of tissues? Some Altoids?
He made his way to the chair that had been placed at the head of the room and sat down. Everyone came and sat on the floor around him. I had a great seat, pretty near him on his left. He gave a Dharma talk, which is like a short, inspirational Buddhist sermon, about how we can choose to be happy and content by making some simple changes. Making simple changes, he said, can have profound and long-lasting effects. He spoke so quietly that we all had to lean in to hear him. While he was talking, I noticed a woman who was sitting on the floor to his right. I noticed her because she was clearly getting more and more agitated as he spoke. She was making loud sighs, shaking her head, and making other distracting gestures. When the monk was done speaking, he asked for questions, and this woman's hand shot up immediately. He nodded to her to ask her question, and she began speaking a mile a minute, waving her hands, at a loud volume. It was a jarring contrast to his slow, measured, and thoughtful manner.
She jumped right in. “I hear you talk about how we can be happy and how we can be content, and how we can choose to make changes and how we can achieve nirvana and how we can create a different life experience, but I don't see how I can do it. How can I accomplish these things? How am I supposed to make this real for me?” She went on and on.
The monk let her speak, and as she spoke, he looked at her with compassion and silence, not interrupting. When she was done, he took a breath and was silent for a minute. Everyone in the room was like statues, wondering how this gentle monk was going to answer this very agitated person. It was almost as if she just wanted to be heard. I had no idea of how he could answer her questions.
At last, the monk began to speak, again in his slow, quiet way. “Mmmm, very interesting questions . . . how to achieve this. How to do this . . . How to accomplish peace . . . How, how, how . . . So many ‘hows’ . . . Big questions . . . big hows . . .” He was silent for a few seconds and then said, “Big how . . . the answer is . . . Little how.” In that moment, the energy in the room shifted as we all (including the woman who had asked the question) understood what he had said. In four words, he had said as much as some books! Big how? Answer is little how. Big how, little how. Replace the word “how” with “goals” and it goes like this: Big goals? The answer is little goals. Now replace the word “how” with dreams: Big dreams? The answer is little dreams.
Don't be intimidated by your goal.
Whatever your goal is, it can be broken down into smaller goals that lead to the bigger goal.
DO THIS: Expand Your Goal a Bit More
Hopefully at this point you have written down a goal. If you want to adjust it a bit more, now is the time.
Done? Okay, let's move on. We're going to take your goal and polish it a bit.
Look at your goal and answer the following questions. Write your answers down in the space below or in your journal. Don't overthink your answers, just write down whatever comes to your mind first.
Good job. Take a moment and review your answers. Have you learned anything?
These questions flesh out your goal so it's not just “I want a million dollars” but the “why” you want it, and the “how it makes you feel” to have it. If you know why you choose a goal and how achieving that goal will make you feel, you will be far more apt to stick with making the goal become real.
DO THIS:
Write Down Your Goals
The great prosperity teachers of the last hundred years have all recommended the practice of writing down your goals. Why? Because there is something that is more “real” about a goal when you write it down. It becomes more concrete. Rather than being something you just talk about it becomes something you are now looking to achieve. On page 55 is a form you can use to write down your goal (or write it your journal).
Congratulations, you have set your first goal. It's the map you'll use to navigate your way from wishful thinking to a millionaire mind.
Read it out loud. How does it feel when you read it?
Make a copy of your goal—you can even use an index card. This card, with your goal written on it, should be placed on your bedside table. Why? Because you are going to read your goal right when you wake up, and then you are going to read it just before turning out the light out at night. Why am I asking you to do that? I'll answer that question with a question: How might your day change if you began your day and ended it with a reminder of your goal? I'm sure you would agree that bookending your day by reading your goal (preferably out loud!) will make you more focused on it throughout the day, and in turn that focus will help you get closer to your goal, faster. That's why.
Every time I've taught this in a multi-week class, someone has raised their hand and said something along the lines of “I'm just not seeing as much results as I thought I would at this point . . .” The first question I ask them is “Are you reading your goal right when you wake up and again right before you turn out the lights at night?” And 100 percent of the time, they give me an excuse as to why they haven't been doing this. Common excuses are a) I forget; b) I'm in a hurry in the mornings; c) I don't see how this is going to help; d) I feel stupid saying this goal out loud or even to myself. Here are the quick answers I give when I hear these excuses: a) Place the card right next to your bedside table light or where your eye will see it immediately upon waking. It's a card and it's not difficult to find an obvious place for it. b) It takes about eight seconds to read it. Are you really in that big of hurry? I bet you spend more time looking at social media than this! (This is the lamest of excuses, even though it is really common.) c) You really don't see how starting and ending your day thinking of your highest goal is going to inspire you? Really?! We'll discuss this in more detail later in the book, by the way, and d) It's better to feel a little stupid now and achieve your goal, than to avoid saying it and not achieve your goal. If you have a mental block preventing you from doing this simple exercise, get over it! Just do it. Trust me; do it for thirty days and see if you see any results. Do it for your results, and do it for yourself. And if that doesn't convince you, then just do it for me, pretty please.
DO THIS:
Practice Your Elevator Pitch
Remember the quote from Napoleon Hill's book Think and Grow Rich, about the 98 percent of people not being able to answer the question, “What do you want?” Well, congratulations, you are now officially among the 2 percent of people who can. Not only do you know the answer, but I've encouraged you to read it every moment upon waking and every evening before lights out.
Now I'm going to ask you to also memorize it. Say it over and over again until you don't need the “script” to read it from. Make it something that you say over and over inside your head—when you're walking down the street, standing in line, or even cleaning, this is going through your head.
There are several reasons for doing this. First, if for some reason someone asks you “What do you want?” you will be able to answer like the most confident person ever. You have practiced your elevator pitch.
Second, and more importantly, what you say to yourself matters. We're going to dig a little deeper into this later in the book, but suffice to say for now, by memorizing your goal and repeating it often, you are feeding your mind positive input, which in turn will help you have a more positive outlook, and that in turn will help you have a more positive experience.
The more committed you are to immersing yourself in your goal, the more you develop your millionaire mind. The more you say your goal, the more you embody it.
Now that you have a goal, have written it down, and repeat it frequently to yourself throughout the day, you might think that I would tell you share your goal with everyone in your life. Please don't.
Keep your goal to yourself. And then choose to reveal it only to those people who support you, are positive influences, and can help you. Why? Because you have chosen to do something that is going to require you to grow and change. Some of the people in your life have a very specific image of you in their heads and don't want it to change. If you told a negative person about your new goal, they might reply with something like, “You? You never follow through on things. Don't get your hopes up!” Or they might even say worse things.
Sometimes the people in your life can only see who you have been, not who you are becoming.
Choose wisely. It won't feel good to share something so precious as your goal with someone who doesn't value you or support you on your journey to achieving it. The phrase “do not cast your pearls before swine” is another way of saying this. Not that the people in your life are swine, but rather the metaphor is that as you grow and expand in your experience, the people who don't grow and expand can't see the beauty of your goal. Also, some people are jealous and will feel superior to have you not reach your goal. Have you ever met a person like that? I'm sure you have! So steer clear of them, please.
There is power in your words. You now have very specific words that will bring you more power. Your goal is your gold. It's your map. It's your path toward realizing your dreams. It's your millionaire mind in action!
What you are doing by creating this goal and repeating it often is creating a “new normal.” This means that you are already transforming your life, because you are changing how you speak and being specific and inspired by something that excites you.
This is exciting.
I'm excited for you.
But before we go further, review the following powerful reminders to help you go the distance:
Stop:
