How toys can add pleasure
and novelty to your sex life
Sex toys are not for lonely deviants—they are . . . well, for you. And if you are a woman who has never entered the wonderful world of vibrators, dildos, and erotica, it’s time to enhance your SexAbility and take the plunge.
You may think that this is a strange and slightly unorthodox recommendation coming from an academic, board-certified gynecologist, but it makes perfect sense considering that, historically, vibrators were not sexual items that women bought for themselves but medical devices used by doctors as treatment methods.
The History of Vibrators
It all started in the 1800s. But first, we have to go back much further. To ancient Greece.
Hyster, the ancient Greek word for “uterus,” eventually became the root word for many medical terms describing conditions that plague women. Originally the word “hysteria” dated back to 300 BC when Hippocrates (of Hippocratic Oath fame) described hysteria as suffocation or madness of the womb resulting from sexual deprivation or lack of orgasms.
During Victorian times, the word “hysterical” had nothing to do with finding something really funny or becoming uncontrollably emotional—it was all about problems stemming from the uterus being “sick.” Specifically, an American gynecologist theorized that a “sick womb” could cause both physical and psychological disturbances such as anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, pelvic heaviness, fainting, nervousness, edema, shortness of breath, disinterest in sex, and, in its most severe form, insanity. Some women were accused of having hysteria if they didn’t obey their husbands or if they rejected traditional “womanly” roles.
This concept continued well into the late 1800s, when nearly every ailment that might befall a woman, including tuberculosis and heart and lung disease, was at some point blamed on a “sick, wandering” uterus. Women were advised to placate their “angry” uterus by having babies, being submissive, not educating themselves, not expressing their opinions, and most important, letting the men run the show. The medical diagnosis of hysteria was practically epidemic.
Every Disease Needs a Cure
It wasn’t long before treatments to restore uterine health were proliferating. Many “hysterical” women were sent off for “rest cures” in which they were submitted to isolation and sensory deprivation for extended periods of time. If they weren’t hysterical at the beginning of the “cure,” they were generally truly hysterical by the end.
The other popular cure for hysteria was to stimulate a woman to orgasm. The rationale was that an orgasm, or paroxysm, would cause the “sick uterus” to be restored to health, which in turn would improve the general health of the woman.
Ideally, this orgasm would be produced by intercourse in the marriage bed. Single women who suffered from hysteria were told to marry. Married women were told to spend more time in bed with their husband.
Not every case of hysteria responded to more sex, and some hysterical women didn’t have a husband. Desperate cases called for desperate measures, so the doctor was obligated to elicit orgasm by massaging a woman’s genitals in his office. As you can imagine, this therapy, while wildly popular, was exhausting for the poor physician, especially when women would return week after week for additional treatments.
History does not indicate that the doctor personally experienced any sexual pleasure himself. Manually massaging a woman to orgasm was burdensome and tedious. It sometimes took an hour or more, and since women were rarely “cured,” weekly or, in extreme cases, daily treatments were necessary. Aside from being exhausting, this treatment regimen was not particularly lucrative because it took so much time.
“Necessity is the mother of innovation,” and by the mid-1800s a number of innovative devices were invented so that the doctor no longer had to use his hand to “treat” hysterical women. The first of these devices, in 1843, was the French Water Jet Massage treatment. (Evidently hysterical women lived all over the world!) The hysterical woman would sit in a chair and a jet of water would be directed at her clitoris until orgasm was reached. Water systems never became popular, but while “effective,” they were expensive, cumbersome, and not practical for most doctors’ offices since a special water chamber with pipes and a warmer was required. So the search for easier methods continued.
Keep in mind that in the mid-1860s electricity had not yet been harnessed for power. Before electricity, steam was the source of power, not just for trains but also—you guessed it—for vibrators. In 1869 a hysterical woman would lie facedown on a “Manipulator Table” (with a hole conveniently cut out to expose her pelvic region) in order to have her genitals “massaged” by a steam-operated paddle.
Electricity to the Rescue
It was in 1880, when inventors were trying to find new uses for the recently discovered electricity, that the first electric vibrator became part of the treatment option for doctors who were exhausted from manually manipulating women.
The first electromechanical device to emerge was the Weiss Model. Over the next 15 years, more than 12 electric models were invented to increase the efficiency of inducing orgasm. By the late 1880s, electrical devices were commonplace, and electric vibrators were routinely used in physicians’ offices to treat primarily middle- and upper-class white Victorian women.
Time is money, and one of the advantages of the electric vibrator was how fast it could do the job. Manual massage required not only skill but time. An electric vibrator induced orgasm in less than four minutes—sometimes quicker! Electrical treatment of hysteria was effective, efficient, and extremely lucrative, since severe cases required multiple treatments a week.
The First Half of the 20th Century: The Vibrator Comes Home
During the Victorian era, masturbation was frowned upon. Women were discouraged from horseback riding or even traveling on trains, since the motion might elicit “excitement.” Using vibration for medical purposes, however, was in a different category, and in the early 1900s, ads for home devices began to pop up in women’s magazines, such as The Women’s Home Companion and Home Needlework Journal. Again, these ads emphasized that vibrators were to improve health and treat medical problems. They were never advertised or meant to be used as sexual devices.
Vibrators really hit the mainstream when they made it into the 1918 version of eBay . . . the Sears, Roebuck catalog. For the first time vibrators were marketed not just to wealthy white women but to the mainstream.
Buried in the middle of a page filled with small electrical appliances meant for the home, the ad read:
Aids That Every Woman Appreciates
Portable Vibrator. Neat, compact vibrator with 3 applicators.
Very useful and satisfactory for home service.
Complete with attachments for churning, mixing,
beating, grinding, buffing, and operating a fan
$5.95
This was quite the luxury item considering that a sewing machine sold for $8.95. Since the portable vibrator could also be used for churning, mixing, grinding, buffing, and operating a fan, however, it was actually quite the bargain!
By 1920 hysteria was no longer a popular diagnosis, and vibrators disappeared from doctors’ offices. Ads for vibrators were no longer seen in the “respectable” press. For the first time vibrators showed up as “sexual devices” in early porn films. In 1952 the American Psychiatric Association dropped “hysteria” as a medical term, and an era officially came to an end.
Around 1969 the vibrator reemerged in advertisements in women’s magazines, where it was touted as a “beauty aid” or a “personal body massager” to be used “anywhere.”
The 1970s: The Medical Community Weighs In
In direct opposition to the Victorians’ attitude toward vibrators, the mid-twentieth-century medical community declared that vibrators were not only not medically beneficial but actually harmful. During the 1970s, a number of journals published articles with the same themes:
• Vibrators are harmful
• Normal women don’t need or use vibrators
• Vibrators are used by only a small number of dysfunctional women
• Women who use vibrators are in danger of becoming “vibrator-dependent”
In 1953 Alfred Kinsey reported that fewer than 1 percent of women used vibrators. In the early 1990s, attitudes began to shift, and a 1992 National Health and Social Life Survey revealed that, while only 2 percent of women had purchased vibrators, 17 percent were “interested.” Interest turned into practice, and in 2003 a study showed that 16 percent of women were using vibrators. By 2004 almost half of American women had at least tried one.
Fast-forward to today. Vibrators are commonly used and recommended by enlightened doctors for sexual health. In 2009 the largest scientific study of vibrator use was conducted by the Indiana University of Sexual Research and published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine. In that study, 2,056 women between the ages of 18 and 60 were questioned about personal vibrator use. Fifty-two percent of them reported not only that they had used a vibrator but that their sexual satisfaction had increased as a result.
And far from being something that is used only for masturbation, vibrators were used by couples 80 percent of the time.
Why and When I Recommend Vibrators
As a physician and sexual health expert, I recommend the use of a vibrator in a number of situations and medical conditions.
To Reach Orgasm
Many of my patients have never had an orgasm. Ever. They expect to have an orgasm during intercourse, and when it doesn’t happen, they not only are at a loss but often feel like there is something wrong with them. It was Sigmund Freud who set the stage for the notion that women should expect to have vaginal orgasms, and this myth was propagated until the more realistic (and scientific) Kinsey reported in 1953 that clitoral stimulation is unlikely to happen during intercourse. In their estimate, only 30 percent of women are able to achieve an orgasm with intercourse.
More recent scientific studies show that 30 percent is probably a gross overestimation and that only about 5 percent of women are able to reach orgasm with vaginal intercourse. This is not to say that a vibrator is always required to reach orgasm for everyone else, since clitoral stimulation to elicit orgasm can occur with digital, oral, or other stimulation. But for many normal women, the intensity of a vibrator provides the only way they are able to climax.
To Enhance Arousal
As women age and hormones decline, very often so does clitoral and vaginal sensation. Many women after menopause find that achieving an orgasm becomes a lot more difficult. Just as Victorian doctors found fingers to be inefficient and tedious, many modern women find that a vibrator is the best way to intensify sensation. In addition, many medical conditions, such as diabetes, cardiovascular disease, and multiple sclerosis, cause nerve damage that results in a need for more intense stimulation to achieve the same effect (see chapter 15).
To Spice Up a Stagnant Sex Life
Face it. Spending years with the same partner can get a little boring. As I mentioned earlier in the book (and have said on The Dr. Oz Show), “If you have cornflakes for breakfast every day for 30 years, you get to the point where you don’t even want breakfast anymore. If one day a chocolate chip pancake shows up on your plate, suddenly breakfast is a lot more appealing.” Sometimes a vibrator is as good as a chocolate chip pancake.
Partner Issues
This is actually one of the most common reasons why women buy and use a vibrator. Many women have no partner, or they have a partner who is physically incapable of intercourse. Sometimes men who suffer from erectile dysfunction avoid intimacy, knowing that they can’t “deliver.” They are thrilled and relieved to find a way to pleasure their partner without intercourse.
Use It or Lose It
Multiple scientific studies have shown that women who are sexually active, with or without a partner, have less vaginal atrophy, even when their estrogen levels are very low. Women who regularly are having intercourse with a dildo or penis (twice a week, ideally), with consistent stretching of the vaginal walls and increased vaginal blood flow, have better tissue elasticity and less pain if they resume intercourse. Even if intercourse never again occurs, vaginal tissues are healthier when “used.”
When Intercourse Is Off the Table
Vaginal atrophy cannot be reversed instantaneously, and it is important to keep sexual stimulation alive and well while “repair” is in progress. Some women with severe atrophy, despite everything, are simply not able to have comfortable sexual intercourse. Most find it is not an issue if they are able to experience intimacy and satisfying orgasms with clitoral stimulation.
Likewise, some women are not able to have intercourse because of medical conditions such as vaginismus or radiation or because they’re recovering from surgery. Just because a woman can’t have intercourse doesn’t mean she can’t have sexual stimulation and reach orgasm. The vibrator makes it easier, with or without a partner.
Types of Sex Toys
Sex toys fall into two basic categories: those that are inserted into the vagina (and sometimes rectum), and those that are used for external stimulation. Some toys do both. They come in multiple lengths, diameters, materials, and colors. Most vibrators are battery-operated or rechargeable. There are even vibrators with a USB port so that it can be recharged on your computer. Explain that to your boss at work!
Internal Toys
A traditional internal toy is four to eight inches in length and shaped like a penis. A nonvibrating toy is called a dildo. A vibrating toy stimulates only the vaginal walls and sometimes the G-spot. This is the type of toy that well-meaning men often buy for their partners, thinking that what women want is something that is exactly like a penis only always hard and constantly shaking.
External Toys
Since most women are unable to have an orgasm without clitoral stimulation, it makes sense that external clitoral stimulators are the preferred toy. External vibrators come in a variety of shapes and sizes. Many are small enough to slip into your pocket or purse for a “quick fix.”
The Best of Both Worlds
The cameo appearance of the Pearl Rabbit on the hit TV show Sex in the City probably had the biggest impact on normalizing the use of the vibrator.
Women who had never had an orgasm became, thanks to the Rabbit, multi-orgasmic. In no time the Rabbit became the most popular adult toy and a popular gift. Nothing says Valentine’s Day like a pink Rabbit and a heart-shaped box of chocolates.
The Rabbit is a multi-area, multi-action stimulator toy. Essentially, it is a penis-shaped vibrator that provides internal G-spot stimulation. The spinning “pleasure beads” (the pearls), located at the bottom of the shaft, stimulate the inside of the vaginal opening. Finally, there is a protruding “rabbit’s head” that vibrates while the rabbit ears “tickle” the clitoris. The speed and intensity of the vibrations can be controlled with either a handheld control or a speed control at the base of the toy. Be prepared to buy lots of batteries.
Partner Toys
While any toy can be used with a partner, some toys are specifically designed for a couple to use. My favorite is the Pleasure Commander, a small, vibrating bullet on a stretchy silicone band that goes around the base of the man’s penis, allowing the woman to get clitoral stimulation during intercourse. The “Commander” gets to control the speed and intensity of the bullet with a remote control. The guy gets the pleasure of thinking that your happy reaction is from his penis. Many men also find that the ring around the base of the penis increases stimulation. Everybody wins!
Dr. Streicher’s SexAbility Survey
When I proposed to the women surveyed, “If you die unexpectedly, you are not worried about your children finding your vibrator collection because . . .”
42.7 percent said, “I don’t care, I’ll be dead.”
4.7 percent said, “My best girlfriend has the key to my house and knows where it is.”
7.7 percent said, “I told my partner (husband) how to dispose of them after he calls 911.”
44.9 percent said, “What vibrator collection? I didn’t know I was supposed to have a vibrator collection!”
There are also partner control vibrators in which a guy can control your clitoral stimulation from 50 feet away. The vibrator can be discreetly tucked away in specially designed panties. So next time you are at a meeting and one of your coworkers seems to be smiling just a little too much, look around and see if there is a guy with a remote control and a twinkle in his eye sitting across from her.
Why Do So Many Vibrators Have Ears and Noses?
The Rabbit, the Hungry Bear, the Pearl Panther, the Diving Dolphin, and yes, Hello Kitty. What’s with all the animals? Certainly a vibrator can have things sticking out to stimulate all the right places without bringing an entire zoo into your bedroom. Evidently, many of the original vibrators were made in Japan, where the manufacture of sex toys resembling genitals was prohibited by law. Today, in the states where it is still illegal to sell sex toys, an animal-shaped vibrator can legally be marketed and sold as an animal “novelty” that just happens to vibrate and be shaped like a penis. This is great information for your next cocktail party. You’re welcome.
Shopping for a Vibrator
So now that you’re convinced that every woman should have at least one vibrator, if not an assortment, where do you go to buy a toy? What do you buy? How do you know what will work? It’s not like shopping for a new bra—you can’t take an assortment into the dressing room and find the one that fits.
I’m still waiting for “Vibrators Are Us” to become a franchise, but in the meantime, there are many places to pick one up—that is, unless you live in Alabama, Mississippi, or Virginia, where it is against the law to buy or sell a vibrator. Evidently, in those states, only men have a constitutional right to have an orgasm. Texas used to outlaw vibrators too, but in 2008 the Texas law was overturned after Joanne Webb, a married mother of three and a schoolteacher, faced up to a year in prison for selling a vibrator to two undercover cops posing as a married couple at a private party.
So where do you get these toys? No, you don’t have to go to a questionable neighborhood wearing a disguise and dark glasses. Today you can buy a vibrator in your corner drugstore, online, or even in the grocery store. Recently I even saw vibrators being sold at an airport gift shop, presumably not to be used during takeoff or landing.
The best and biggest assortments of vibrators, not to mention salespeople who aren’t embarrassed to help you and answer your questions, can be found in erotica boutiques. Most major cities have perfectly respectable erotica stores intended to give normal women the opportunity to shop comfortably. In addition to toys, most of these stores have fabulous sexy lingerie along with a great selection of erotic books and tapes. They also generally stock better lubricants than your local drugstore. The staff are usually knowledgeable and very happy to help. Go with your partner or a pal. It’s easier and more fun than going alone. You can always say you’re buying a gift for “a friend.”
Now, if you read this chapter first, it’s time to go back and read the rest of the book. I won’t tell.