Because I hire professionals to take care of most everything, I’m not considered someone who knows much about housekeeping. But the truth is, you cannot manage a house properly unless you’ve learned how to do things for yourself. My mother, who had a system and a schedule for everything, taught me well. I have very definite ideas about the best way to maintain a house, even if I’m not the one to execute them. For that, I rely on Michael, the butler.
For most people, the butler is the fastidious overseer on Downton Abbey, or the one “whodunit” in a game of Clue. Fans of Southern Charm are fascinated by Michael and want to know who he is and how he spends his time, other than serving me a frosty martini on a silver tray. As I’ve said before, Michael is my majordomo. He’s in charge of the house and everyone who works there, whether it’s a cook, a housekeeper, a laundress, a gardener, or a pool person. Anyone. The International Butler Academy (yes, there is one), compares the modern butler to a Swiss Army knife—a butler has to be a problem solver, first and foremost, then knowledgeable, organized, and have the ability to multitask. Michael has all of these virtues.
You want the people who work for you to be dedicated and professional. But there are other considerations. A butler is in your home constantly and sees you every day, and in every situation. He knows all of your foibles[1] and secrets, so your relationship has to be based on trust, mutual respect, and a sense of humor. On top of that, you have to like him. Eventually, if all goes well, he becomes a member of your family. That’s Michael, the consummate professional, the soul of discretion, and the perfect straight man to my often outrageous one-liners.
Since many of you have asked, Michael was born and raised in Michigan. As a child, he enjoyed reading and watching television, and even as a youngster, he was fascinated by stories of the Gilded Age—the time between the Civil War and World War I, when American society was ruled by the Astors, the Vanderbilts, and other fabulously wealthy families. He attended college in Michigan and went to work in a nursing home—until it occurred to him that instead of caring for people who were sick, he could make a career out of looking after people who were well…and well-off.
It turned out to be difficult to find that kind of job in Michigan because there weren’t enough rich people who maintained full-time domestics. Michael moved to New York, hoping to obtain a position in a private household. He found the ultimate Gilded Age employer in the elderly Mrs. Bostwick, who had eighteen servants in residence and ran her home the old-fashioned way. In addition to a full complement of cooks, maids, and other domestics, Mrs. Bostwick had three different chauffeurs—one for day, evening, and the weekend. There were two enormous residences—in Old Westbury and on Park Avenue—with the attendant responsibilities, including maintaining an impeccable household and serving meals and afternoon tea every day.
The family’s ninety-year-old butler took Michael under his wing, and Michael was a quick study who prided himself on knowing what his employer wanted before she knew she wanted it. By the time I persuaded him to come work for me at Southerly, he was a first-class butler.
Initially, Michael was a little horrified when I broached the idea of leaving New York—the only place he had visited in the South was Palm Beach, and he didn’t know a thing about Charleston. But he was a good sport about moving to a new city, a new climate (fortunately, Michael doesn’t like snow), and a new home.
I’m set in my ways when it comes to running my household. Because my father was a physician, he was always waging war against germs. Here are some important cleaning routines that everyone should do, or have done:
Regular dusting, waxing, and polishing make a house gleam. These are the preferred products in the Isaac Mikell House:
And Michael adds this important tip—don’t forget to clean your light bulbs!
When you do things in a haphazard manner, that’s how they’ll look and feel. I try to be very organized, especially when it comes to managing all the stuff we bring into our lives. Stay on top of it by maintaining an up-to-date inventory of your possessions. This is something I learned when I was studying art history. Works of art are catalogued with a provenance, which is a detailed record of ownership that proves authenticity or quality. But you don’t have to be an art collector to keep copious[2] records. The same process works whether you’re storing information about an oil painting or a new flat-screen television.
As soon as you buy something substantial, take a photograph and place the picture in a plastic sleeve in a binder, along with the receipt for the item and all the supporting information, including where and when you bought it. I store my hardcopies in large white three-ring binders because they look neat and unobtrusive on a shelf—and I keep a digital backup, just in case. Those of you who are really clever can take a digital photograph of the object and the receipt, tag it with the important details, and upload it to the cloud, or a record-keeping app such as Evernote. If you are the victim of a robbery, a fire, or any disaster, for that matter, you will have everything you need to make an insurance claim. Start right now and get into the habit of doing it every time you bring something important into the house. If you procrastinate, the job will be too big and you’ll never do it.
My assistant, Joan, who can organize anything, offers some guidance.
Ask the Expert: Joan DiPietro
What’s the best way to organize household papers? Should a filing system be A–Z, or divided into categories (i.e., insurance, home improvement, etc.)?
I basically file A–Z, but some files such as insurance, health insurance, bills, and home improvements, are kept separate.
Do you have a special system for financial records? How do you keep income tax information organized and up to date?
For financial records, I just keep bank records together, and if it’s a business account, once the account is reconciled, I make a copy for the accountant for year-end taxes.
Also, when I file bills, if they are not tax-deductible expenses I discard and file the current bill. However, certain bills I keep, including telephone and utilities bills. If you have more than one home and you get audited by the state, they will want those bills. I also record in a daybook all of Mrs. Altschul’s activities and appointments. For the year-end taxes, I use a spreadsheet on the computer to record all tax-deductible expenses and send that to the accountant.
Do you have a system for opening and sorting mail?
As far as mail goes, I take care of it each day or it will pile up. I get rid of junk mail and shred all credit card requests, file bills in a bill file until I am ready to pay the bills, and place invitations in an invitation file according to date.
[1] Foible: a minor weakness or eccentricity in someone’s character.
[2] Copious: exhibiting abundance or fullness, as of thoughts or words.