The element of surprise can offer a hero great advantage in battle. The element of oxygen—also important.
—THE HERO’S GUIDE TO BEING A HERO
Deeb Rauber strongly believed that rooftops were for recreation. The roof of his very first hideout hosted a regular thumb-wrestling tournament; the roof of his last castle held a combination dueling arena/suntan deck; and now that he was a genuine king, his rooftop could have passed for a carnival midway. Dozens of small shacks rose up from the wood-and-stone roof, some of which were used for official bandit business like dagger storage and loot sorting, while others—like the dunk tank and the face-painting booth—not so much. Walkways ran between these mini-buildings like a grid of streets, all leading to the large, central, carved-ivory dome (stolen from the legendary Our Lady of Fancy Domes Cathedral in Hithershire), which housed the main stairwells.
Ella, Gustav, Lila, and Duncan slinked through a narrow passage between a facility for the de-fingering of gloves and a shack with a sign for “spitball moistening.”
“I can’t believe how much stuff is up here,” Lila whispered.
“I think I saw a place that makes funnel cake back there,” Duncan said. “I was very tempted.”
“Just keep looking for the snake handler,” Ella said.
“Yeah,” Gustav added. “No matter what, we should still be able to find a thirty-foot snake. It’s not like you can hide an animal that big.”
“Hold up,” Ella whispered urgently as she paused outside the corner of a workshop dedicated to mending torn loot sacks. Just around the bend was the big dome, and before it stood a man whom they instantly guessed to be the snake handler (the sixty-three snake tattoos covering Madu’s body kind of gave it away). The Darian opened a small wooden door in the wall of the dome and, pulling on a rope inside, reeled up a large basket.
“What’s he doing?” Gustav asked.
“It’s a dumbwaiter,” Lila whispered. “We have them at the palace back in Erinthia. There’s a long shaft they use to send food and messages up and down between floors.”
“And rats apparently,” Gustav said as they watched Madu lift a squirming brown rat from the basket by its tail. He held the wriggling rodent up to his nose and sniffed it.
“King Moonracer,” Duncan said.
“Don’t get too attached,” Ella warned. “My guess is that King Moonracer is going to be lunch for the snake.”
Duncan shrugged. “Circle of life,” he said.
“Where is the snake?” Gustav asked. He was growing agitated as they watched Madu walk around, toying with the struggling rat—swatting at it and poking it with his finger. After a minute or two, the tattooed man stuck out his tongue and took a big, long lick across the rodent’s matted fur.
Fig. 34
FEEDING TIME
“I’ve seen enough,” Gustav said. “I’m taking this wacko down now. Stuuuuuurm-haaayyyy-gennnnn!”
He burst out from behind the workshop and charged headlong at Madu. As Gustav tackled him to the ground, the surprised Darian dropped the rat, which quickly scampered off.
“Run, King Moonracer, run!” Duncan yelled.
“Where’s the snake?” Gustav demanded to know as he pinned Madu to the stone floor. Ella drew her sword and rushed to his side.
“How did you get up here?” Madu rasped.
“Where’s the snake?” Gustav asked again.
“Never mind the animal,” Ella said. “We just need to know where the Snake Hole is.”
“No way,” said Gustav. “I came here to fight a giant snake, and I’m not leaving until I fight a giant snake. Now, where is it?”
“Gustav, we don’t have time for this,” Ella said. “More bandits could come along any second.”
“I think I found the hole,” Lila called from a few yards off. There was a small metal hatch in the floor surrounded by crisp, translucent shreds of molted snake skin. Ella and Duncan ran over to Lila as she turned a wheel on the hatch door and lifted it to reveal an eighteen-inch-wide shaft that ran downward into pitch darkness.
“Nice job, Lila,” Ella said. She pulled a coil of rope from her belt. “You ready to head down there?”
Lila nodded and began tying one end of the rope around her waist.
“Starf it all!” Gustav griped. “Last time I was supposed to fight the dragon. But that didn’t get to happen! This time I was supposed to fight the giant snake. And we can’t even find the stupid thing!”
“You want so badly to see the snake,” Madu snickered from underneath him. “I would hate to disappoint you.” Suddenly he began to spasm and squirm. His skin appeared to crack all over, turning into thousands of individual scales. His nose went flat, his eyes turned yellow, and his entire body began to elongate.
“Oh, man,” Lila said. “That guy doesn’t just take care of the snake. He is the snake.”
With a slurping sound, Madu’s arms were sucked into his torso, and his legs fused together, blending into one monstrous tail. Within seconds there was a thirty-foot-long, sand-colored serpent slithering out of Madu’s empty vest and kilt. The creature swayed, raised its scaly head, and flicked a long, forked tongue at Gustav’s dumbstruck face.
“What are you slack-jaws doing?” Jezek barked at the gawking bandits on the ramparts of the front wall.
One timidly pointed at the battling troll and giantess.
“I see them, fool,” Jezek said. “Why are you standing here watching them? It’s all part of the invasion we were warned about. You men have bows—shoot them.”
“Um, you know, sir,” one of the bandits began. “We did shoot a couple o’ arrows into the hairy one, but he didn’t seem to be hurt by ’em. And the big one? I don’t know if it’s really worth us wasting ammunition.”
Jezek looked out at the monsters. “Trolls are tough, but not invincible. It’ll go down eventually. As for the giant . . . We may need a little something extra.” He took two bandits aside. “You know those crates of sleeping potion that were left by the castle’s previous owner? Go grab as much as you can. We’re going to need a lot.”
Down on the ground, an arrow hit Mr. Troll in the shoulder. “Hey, where that come from?” the monster asked.
“Those cockroaches on the wall are shooting at you again,” Maude said.
“Giant Lady better look at self,” the troll said. “Arrow Men shoot at Giant Lady, too.”
Maude craned her head around to see seven arrows sticking out of her back. She hadn’t even felt them. “Well, look at that,” Maude said. “You’re not still going to tell me we can’t fight back, are you?”
Mr. Troll scratched his furry chin. “Okay, Troll and Giant Lady fight back. But no crushing. Need to make fight last as long as possible.”
Maude shrugged. “Better than nothing. Okay, let’s wreak some havoc.”
Thwack! The tail of the giant sand snake smashed into Gustav’s chest and knocked him backward. With a gurgle, Gustav slid down the side of the dome and landed on his hands and knees.
“Hurry, hurry!” Ella urged. She held one end of their rope as Lila, with the other end tied around her midsection, slipped feet-first into the Snake Hole.
Fig. 35
Giant SANDSNAKE
“Wow, snakes must have super–night vision or something,” she muttered. “I can’t see a thing.” She could barely move a knee or elbow without banging a wall. Claustrophobia had never been an issue for Lila in the past, but then again, she’d never been shoved into a seemingly bottomless hole that was barely wider than her body. It was beginning to creep her out. But she took a deep breath, thought of Liam, and continued to inch her way down the shaft. Then she heard Ella cry out from up above.
And Lila began to drop. She screamed, plummeting downward, before jerking to a stop.
“Don’t worry, Liam’s sister!” Duncan called down to her. “I’ve got the rope!”
“What happened to Ella?” Lila shouted upward, relieved but slightly worried (the way many people feel when Duncan comes to their aid).
“She and Gustav are fighting with the snake,” Duncan yelled down. “But they’re not doing very well. The snake knocked Gustav through the wall of that sack shop. He crawled out with a burlap bag over his head. I wish our lives weren’t in mortal danger right now, because normally that would have been hilarious.”
“Duncan, please hold on tight,” Lila said. She shimmied downward as fast as she could in the dark, tight tunnel, her heart beating faster with every crash, shout, and groan she heard from above. Then her feet hit the bottom.
“I’m here,” she said, not even sure if Duncan could hear her from that far down. “Gotta find the lever.” She tried to crouch down and banged her head into the wall of the far-too-narrow chute. “I don’t even have room to bend in here,” she grumbled. She poked around in the darkness with her foot, and it smacked into a stick that was jutting from the bottom of the shaft. “Aha!”
With both feet, Lila shifted the lever from one side to the other. Immediately, a series of mechanical gears and gizmos creaked into action.
Five stories below—beneath Gustav and Ella fighting for their lives, beneath Stanislav Flimsham preparing to announce his world-famous clown act, and just a few corridors away from Liam and Frederic staring in despair at their barely human jailer—the door to Deeb Rauber’s vault clicked, trembled, and swung wide-open.