Eddy had taken to sitting with Reagan, just like she had sat at his bedside when he had been sick.
‘Are you comfortable?’
‘Yes, for the fifth time, Eddy.’
Reagan was lying in her bed, reclined up against a few pillows that hardly seemed to flex under her weight. Beside her, on the duchess, was a collection of pill bottles the likes of which had never been seen in one place before and Eddy was amazed at how a single person could fit them all in. It just didn’t seem right, and it most certainly wasn’t fair.
‘Do you w-want a drink of water?’
‘No, thanks.’
Reagan shifted against the pillows a touch, releasing a grimace of pain in the process.
‘They think they’ll start the chemo next week,’ she continued. ‘Mum knows more than I do. I guess I just get to go along for the ride.’
‘Your mum’s going to let me know when so I can be there too.’
‘Cool.’ It wasn’t the bright acknowledgement it was probably meant to be. Instead it came out diffused of all emotion. It appeared to Eddy that Reagan was getting wiped of all emotion these days, and to him that was another step along her journey toward death.
They both sat and pondered their respective roles in this new development before Reagan decided to break the ugliness of the silence between them. ‘It makes your hair fall out.’
‘I heard that.’ In fact, Eddy had read it. He hadn’t told Grandma Daisy or Mrs Stanton yet, but he hadn’t done any proper study for a while now. He was still doing a heck of a lot of reading though. Anything about cancer he could get his hands on, actually.
‘Mum reckons I can wear a wig. We’ll go out and pick one. What do ya think?’ she said with a good attempt at a smile and a model’s swagger. ‘Blonde or redhead?’
‘Blondes make better movie stars.’
Her smile stayed but her eyes wandered and Eddy immediately hated himself for saying that. How dumb was that? Reminding her of her dreams for a future she could never have.
‘Eddy?’
‘Yep.’
Reagan reached over with her hand and took his.
‘What are you going to do?’
‘Wh-what do you mean?’
‘After I’m gone. You’re the most special boy in the world, Eddy, and I think the biggest thing I’ll miss is watching the incredible life of Eddy Sullivan.’
‘Reagan, please d-don’t talk like that. You’re going nowhere.’
‘Just do me a favour then. Tell me a story. Tell me the life and times of Eddy Sullivan.’ Then, with a longing look. ‘Please.’
Eddy suddenly felt uncomfortable. In all honesty, he didn’t want to consider a life without her, not yet, not when she was still sitting here, talking to him. There had to be hope somewhere, he just had to dig for it.
‘Reagan, do I have to?’
‘Yes.’
Eddy resigned himself to her determination. It wasn’t going to be easy though. A future without Reagan wasn’t really a future at all. But he’d give it a shot . . . for her.
‘I haven’t really thought about it. Things have been happening so fast. I g-guess I’ve just been taking one day at a time.’
‘Well then,’ interjected Reagan. ‘Here’s your chance to figure it out then.’
‘The study’s all good and everything but at the same time it’s frustrating.’
‘How so?’
‘I don’t know. It’s sort of h-hard to explain. It’s like all the stuff in those books . . . it’s missed the point. It’s like everything we learn is only scratching the s-surface. Does that make sense?’
‘More and more every day.’
Eddy nodded, appreciating that she probably knew exactly where he was coming from.
‘So what are you going to do about it?’
‘I think I want to teach, Reagan. Yeah, I w-would love that. I would love t-to be able to show people there is so much more to this existence than m-meets the eye. To make them open their eyes.’
Reagan’s smile was real this time. The pain was still there – it always would be – but for a moment at least, it took second place.
‘And you know wh-what?’
‘What?’
‘When people get it, when they understand it, they’ll never b-be able to forget it. I know it sounds like a crazy thing to say . . . but that sort of thing could change the whole world.’
‘I believe you, Eddy. I truly do.’
‘It would make people h-happy. Really happy. Not just surface happy, here today and gone tomorrow. Deep happy. Soul happy. That’s what I want t-to teach.’
‘Eddy?’
‘Yeah?’
‘I can think of no better person in the universe to do that than you.’ Reagan gave his hand a squeeze and Eddy fell in love with her all over again.