Depression is not just a feeling. Depression is an action.
That simple insight will strike with a force as you read this book. It is an insight worth preparing for because as it dawns, it initially contains both good news and bad news. The bad news is that the human mind will often turn it into yet another source for blame: “If depression is an action, then I should not be doing it, but apparently I am, so it must be my fault.” No surprise there. Judging and blaming are what our minds often do, particularly when we are depressed. But the actions that lead to depression—the actions that in a deep sense are depression—are nothing to be blamed for. After all, the human mind is far, far too tricky for anyone to untangle from it without help. Depression is not the fault of the depressed.
The empowering news inside this same insight is even more powerful and more sustaining than the illusion of helplessness or the habits of self-blame. As you read this book you will see that there is a concrete, active path forward. You are not a victim of your life. You are not doomed to endless suffering.
As you understand the actions that have kept you entangled, you will begin to see that there is another way. The alternative is not beyond you. It is available, with help to see it, right here, right now.
In this remarkable book, the husband-and-wife team of Kirk Strosahl and Patricia Robinson lay down an innovative, creative, and effective pathway out of depression and into your life. The book is like turning on a light inside darkened rooms of suffering. With the light comes greater understanding of what is in those rooms, where you are, and what has been in your way. It becomes easier to see how to navigate and how to come out into the warmth and freedom of a life without walls, directed toward your values.
From the first few pages of this book until the very last, the light of awareness that it casts is almost tangible. You can sense the gentleness, strength, and humanity of the people, two of my dearest friends, who have written this book. These authors are humble, centered, compassionate, and wise. They’ve been there. They are ready to walk you, step by step, through the actions that have created trouble and the actions needed to let go of depressed habits of mind. If you have patience with the process, self-compassion for the pain you are in, and a willingness to face the difficulties and fears of taking a fundamentally different pathway forward, this book can change your life.
I can say that without fear of contradiction, because the scientific evidence showing that the processes this book targets are central to depression has grown exponentially over the last decade. We now know a great deal about how cognitive entanglement works and how to help people become disentangled through mindfulness. We now know a lot about how avoidance of experience works, and how acceptance can dampen down the war within. And we know a lot about how openness to experience can help you get in touch with your values and begin to create a life with your moment-to-moment actions that resonates more with your deepest yearnings for meaning, wholeness, and connection with others.
You do not need to trust me or trust these authors for the benefits of this book to be felt. You do not need to believe anything or be convinced of anything. What you need is the willingness to look without blinking—to see what is true in your experience. As you try the methods in this book, your own experience will be your best teacher.
Depression is not just a feeling. Depression is an action. The “word machine” in between our ears may indeed fear what that means, but for human beings the message is hopeful, vital, and valid. You do not need to wait for life. It has begun and it is yours to live.
If you are ready to open up to that possibility, turn the page and begin.
—Steven C. HayesUniversity of Nevada