Sweet pickles, sour pickles, fermented pickles, vinegar pickles, salt pickles … baby, I ♥ pickles. A true sucker for anything that makes me pucker, I have never met a pickled vegetable I didn’t like. I say, if you have pickles, you always have something to eat.
While many people associate pickling with summer produce, I’ve tried to focus on some of the least-loved players in the pickle pyramid, homing in on winter’s bounty and those produce-aisle beauties with a long and hearty growing season. I’ve also tried to provide a wide swath of flavors, from sweet to tangy to salty.
In short, I am on a serious quest to bring back the relish tray. And why not? A little chopping, a few days’ wait, and you have an aesthetically pleasing, colorful condiment that goes with almost everything, from the usuals—like sandwiches, salads, and roast meats—to some surprises, like tacos, pizza, and omelets.
Now, say this ten times fast: preserve your palate and your pantry with the pleasing pucker of pickles.
I drink the brine on this one. I kid you not. This is a super old-fashioned pickle so self-consciously retro that it’s modern again—ready for its place on your Aunt Bitty’s relish tray alongside the three-bean salad and the pickled beets. Just FYI, I actually prefer frozen corn to fresh here because—well, forgive my shallowness, but frozen corn is just prettier than anything I’ve ever been able to cut off the cob, and the strong flavors in this mix don’t merit the extra effort. (Oh, and thanks to my intern, Sam, who showed me how awesome this is baked with salami on a pizza.) Note that it’s natural for the brine to get cloudy as the corn releases its starch.
Makes about 6 cups (3 pints)
TIME COMMITMENT About 1 day
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
3¾ cups diced red bell pepper (3 or 4 peppers)
1 tablespoon kosher salt
4 cups fresh or thawed frozen corn kernels
1¾ cups diced red onion (1 very large onion)
1½ cups apple cider vinegar
1½ cups sugar
½ teaspoon ground turmeric
INSTRUCTIONS Heat the oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Add the peppers and salt and sauté for approximately 12 minutes, stirring often, until the peppers soften and begin to caramelize. Add the corn, stirring to combine, and cook the vegetables for 3 to 4 minutes longer, until the corn is hot. Turn off the heat and add the onion to the pan; stir well.
In a small saucepan over medium heat, combine the vinegar, sugar, and turmeric and stir just until the sugar dissolves, about 2 minutes.
Pack the vegetables tightly into 3 clean pint jars, and pour the warm brine over the vegetables to cover completely, discarding any unused brine. To can the relish for longer storage, process the jars according to the instructions. Otherwise, cover tightly, and let the relish sit at room temperature for 1 day before moving it to the refrigerator.
HOW TO STORE IT Refrigerated, this will keep for up to 6 months. Canned, it will keep for up to 1 year.
And what, you’re asking, is ploughman’s pickle? Well, it’s a killer British condiment traditionally part of a ploughman’s lunch—the quintessential pub grub: bread, cheese, meat, pickled onions, and this awesome, tangy, sweet condiment (it often travels under the brand name Branston Pickle). Tuck it into a Cheddar cheese sandwich. Thank me later. Most of the time you spend making this will be you getting supercozy and comfortable with your knife and cutting board. A fine, fine chop—not quite a mince, but not a thoughtless cubing, either—is really the only way to get the texture just right. Also, don’t let the tamarind paste put you off. It’s a frequent staple found in almost any Indian, Vietnamese, Thai, or Latin American grocery.
Makes about 8 cups
TIME COMMITMENT About 3 hours
½ cup tamarind paste
3½ cups apple cider vinegar
2 cups sugar
16 dates, finely chopped (about 2 cups)
1 large sweet apple, peeled, cored, and chopped (about 1½ cups)
1 tablespoon kosher salt
4 cloves garlic, minced
1½ cups finely diced carrot
1 cup finely diced cauliflower, mostly stems
1 cup finely diced zucchini
1 cup finely diced red onion
INSTRUCTIONS Whew! That was a lot of chopping. Now, let’s make the brine.
Put the tamarind in a medium bowl, add 1 cup warm water, and let sit for 10 minutes. Using your bare hands, squish the paste and water together into a liquid slurry. Remove and discard all seeds and pods.
In a large, covered saucepan or Dutch oven, combine the tamarind slurry, vinegar, sugar, dates, apple, salt, and garlic. Bring to a boil over high heat, then reduce the heat and simmer, uncovered, for 30 minutes, mashing the fruit with a wooden spoon or potato masher as it softens. Once the volume of the liquid has reduced by about half and the mixture has become thick and syrupy, turn off the heat. Add the carrot, cauliflower, zucchini, and onion and stir to coat completely. Allow the vegetables to rest in the pot, covered, for 1 hour.
HOW TO STORE IT Pack the pickle into clean glass jars and refrigerate for up to 3 months. Or pack it into sterile canning jars and process for 15 minutes (review the instructions). This will keep for up to 1 year on the shelf.
The salt and living enzymes of miso slowly work magic on the daikon to craft a pickle that’s supercrunchy and pleasantly full-flavored, with a different texture than vinegar pickles. Oh, and don’t let the use of mirin throw you. It’s just a sweet Japanese cooking wine available at many Asian markets. You can easily substitute carrots, turnips, or other radishes or firm root vegetables for the daikon, but I don’t recommend this pickling theater for more watery vegetables like cucumbers. Note also that this is a fermented pickle and therefore it should not be canned.
Makes 2 cups
TIME COMMITMENT About 5 days
2 tablespoons mirin
1 clove garlic, minced
½ cup miso (either homemade, or store-bought)
½ pound daikon, peeled and sliced into ¼-inch half-moons (about 2 cups)
INSTRUCTIONS In a medium mixing bowl, stir the mirin and garlic into the miso to combine. Add the daikon to the bowl and, using a rubber spatula, fold it into the miso mixture, taking care to coat each piece of daikon completely. Note that the pickle may seem pasty and dry, depending on your miso. Fear not; it will release liquid as it cures.
Transfer the pickle to a clean wide-mouthed pint jar with a well-fitting lid, using your hands to help press the pickle into the jar. Label and date the jar, and allow it to sit at room temperature for 24 hours, then move it to the refrigerator for 4 days. Your pickle will now be ready to eat. Some people prefer to rinse off the clinging miso brine before eating, whereas I like its sharp saltiness all around. Be sure to try it both ways.
HOW TO STORE IT Kept refrigerated, this pickle will last (and, in fact, get better) for up to 3 months.
Look out, cocktail onion! These tangy, sweet roundies are a fine cocktail garnish: string three together on a toothpick and you have instant fancy-schmancy. They’re also delicious served as a relish alongside roast chicken. If you’re going to gift these, do so when they’re freshly packed. They will remain delicious over time, but the color will suffer.
Makes about 2 cups
TIME COMMITMENT 3 to 7 days
1 clove garlic, peeled and smashed
3 cloves
1 (2-inch) piece green onion (from the white part)
1 (2-inch) cinnamon stick
1 (¼-inch) slice fresh ginger
2 cups seedless grapes, stemmed and washed
2 tablespoons sugar
1 teaspoon kosher salt
⅓ cup plus 2 tablespoons white distilled vinegar, plus more as needed
⅓ cup plus 1 tablespoon water, plus more as needed
INSTRUCTIONS Drop the garlic, cloves, green onion, cinnamon, and ginger into the bottom of a clean pint jar with a tight-fitting lid. Add the grapes to the jar, packing them tightly without crushing. (Shaking the jar from time to time will assist with this process.)
Sprinkle on the sugar and salt, and pour in the vinegar (if it doesn’t fill the jar halfway, feel free to add a little more). Next, pour in the water (topping off if necessary to completely cover the fruit). Secure the lid tightly and shake the jar gently to dissolve the salt and sugar.
Let sit out on the countertop for 3 days or inside the refrigerator for 1 week, shaking the jar gently daily to distribute the flavors.
HOW TO STORE IT Refrigerated, these will keep for up to 1 year.
