Behold these bizarre animal tales that might seem like sensational tabloid stories…except they’re all real.
Suining, China – Dean Qiongxiu, a 66-year-old woman, was awakened late at night in September 2009 by a strange scratching sound. “I turned on the light and saw this monster working its way along the wall using his claw.” The monster was a 16-inch snake…that had a tiny foot growing from its belly, complete with a claw. Dean whacked it to death with her shoe. Biologists were unable to determine why the snake had grown a foot.
Tasmania – “We have a problem with wallabies entering poppy fields, getting as high as a kite, and hopping around in circles,” said Tasmania’s Attorney-General Lara Giddings in 2009. The dope-loving, kangaroo-like marsupials are having an adverse effect on the country’s opium crop, which is grown for use in legal morphine. In addition to the wallabies, deer and sheep are also getting high after ingesting the poppies—but unlike the wallabies, they only walk around in circles, which is less damaging than hopping.
Lower Gweru, Zimbabwe – In 2009 villagers were shocked when a goat gave birth to a…thing with the body of a goat but the head of a human baby. The newborn creature was so freakish that even dogs refused to get near it. The “Goat Boy” only lived for a few hours, but fearing that it was evil, the villagers burned the corpse beyond recognition. The province’s governor, Minister Jason Machaya, believes the “abomination” was the result of an illicit affair between a man and a goat. “It is my first time to see such an evil thing,” he said. “It is really embarrassing.” Provincial Veterinary Officer Thomas Sibanda disagreed, stating that our two species are incapable of interbreeding. He theorized that the goat suffered from hydrocephalus, or water on the brain, which resulted in a huge, grotesque head.
The average American consumes 7 bottles of liquor, 12 bottles of wine, and 230 cans of beer a year.
Gunbalanya, Australia – When a giant female crocodile wandered into this small Northern Territory town in 2009, “She just sat there next to a fence, trying to look innocent,” said officer Adam Russell. He had no choice but to arrest her. “I wanted to jump on her Steve Irwin style, but the rangers wouldn’t let me.” Instead, they bound her jaws shut and hauled her off to the local jail, where she spent three days in a cell before being taken to a croc farm. “She got a bit cranky and started hissing when people came near,” said Russell, “but otherwise she was a model prisoner.”
Turner, Maine – After 15 years of missing pets, sightings of glowing eyes, and mysterious shrieks in the night, in 2006 the reign of terror ended when the creature responsible was found dead on the side of a road. But what was it? “It was evil, evil-looking, like something out of a Stephen King story,” said resident Michelle O’Donnell. “And it had a horrible stench I will never forget.” The creature, described by some as a giant rodent-dog hybrid, has been blamed for killing (among many other things) a Rottweiler. Before wildlife officials could inspect the corpse, however, vultures had eaten most of it. No positive identification was ever made.
San Francisco, California – Harry and Pepper were the most controversial pair of the 40 Magellanic penguins at the San Francisco Zoo. The two males paired off in 2003, causing a barrage of antigay protests. But once the furor died down, Harry and Pepper were given an abandoned egg to incubate. “Of all of the parents that year, they were the best,” said zookeeper Anthony Brown. But then in July 2009, Harry left Pepper for Linda, whose mate had recently died. Brown called Linda “conniving,” claiming she had lured Harry away. Whenever Pepper tried to visit his ex-husband, Linda aggressively chased Pepper away. The news of the breakup renewed the controversy: The Christian group OneNewsNow said it proved that “nature prefers heterosexual relationships.” Outspoken gay-rights advocate Wayne Besen disagreed: “There is no ‘ex-gay’ sexual orientation. Harry is simply in denial. The penguin is living what I call the ‘big lie.’”
Fuel for thought: About 1 in 6 pregnant women get a craving to chew on coal.