OWW! OWW!

Sometimes life slaps you upside the head…twice.

OWW! Ralph Needs, 80, of Groveport, Ohio, was hospitalized in 2009 after three robbers broke into his home, tied him up, and pistol-whipped him. They broke Needs’s nose and stole his truck, computer, and credit cards.

OWW! OWW! Four days later, Needs’s son was giving his dad a lesson in self-defense when he loaded up a 9mm pistol—and accidentally shot Needs in the hand. Needs was treated at a nearby (and familiar) hospital and released. His son was not charged with a crime.

OWW! A San Diego, California, Wells Fargo bank was robbed in September 2008. The robber escaped with an undisclosed amount of cash.

OWW! OWW! The same Wells Fargo bank was robbed—on the same day, three hours later—by another bank robber. An FBI spokesman said the robbers were, in order, “The Hard-Hat Bandit,” known for wearing a yellow hard hat during his robberies, and “The Chatty Bandit,” known for talking on a cell phone as he entered the banks he was about to rob. The two were not working together, the spokesman said. Both of the bandits were later arrested and sent to federal prison.

OWW! Hundreds of thousands of Brazilians lost their jobs during the recent economic crisis.

OWW! OWW! In July 2009, the Associated Press reported that people seeking information about their unemployment benefits on the Brazilian Labor Ministry’s Web site were given passwords such as “bum” and “shameless.” Labor Minister Carlos Lupi apologized, and blamed the prank on the private company that handles the Web site’s security system.

OWW! Stephanie Martinez was working in the Pizza Patron restaurant in Denton, Texas, in July 2008 when a man in sunglasses and a bushy wig walked in, pointed a gun at her, and demanded money. She started getting cash out of the register—when fellow employee Rudy Sandoval jumped on the man and started punching him. In the melee, the robber’s wig and glasses flew off.

Brazilian soccer star Ramalho reportedly had to spend 3 days in bed after taking a suppository orally.

OWW! OWW! When the wig and glasses flew off, Martinez recognized the robber: It was her father. “I dropped the money,” Ms. Martinez said afterward. “I said, ‘Don’t hit him again! That’s my dad!’” Her father ran out of the store and to a getaway car—in which, it turned out, Martinez’s husband and mother were waiting. They were all in on the plot, though police later determined that Stephanie Martinez knew nothing about it. Her father, husband, and mother were captured and arrested.

OWW! In the middle of an October night in 2005, a mugger pulled a handgun on a man in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, and demanded money. The victim gave the mugger all the cash he had. A pickup truck, which police believe was the getaway car, then rushed up in reverse…and crashed into the robber and the victim. The driver of the truck then fled the scene, leaving the injured robber there.

OWW! OWW! OWW! OWW! OWW! The robber tried to get away with the cash by limping into the street…and was hit by a woman driving a Lexus. The woman in the Lexus backed up…and ran into him again. Them she backed up again…and ran into him one more time. After the third strike, the robber reached into his pocket for his gun…and shot himself in the leg. The woman ran into him again and drove off. Police showed up and arrested the robber, who was taken to the hospital with serious injuries. The victim was treated for minor injuries.

***

PAINFUL ACTIVISM

In 2008 Hollywood star and environmentalist Harrison Ford wanted to call attention to deforestation, so he had his chest hair waxed on live TV. “Every little bit of rainforest that gets ripped out,” he cringed during the procedure, “it hurts!”

A Dutch company has devised technology to make lamps and other household items “float” in the air.