“THAT’S AWFUL!”
AWARDS

Because we believe that some people deserve to be publicly recognized for their especially bad behavior.

Winner: Owners and staff at a day-care center in Maywood, Illinois
Background: Police were called to the day care after receiving a tip about illegal activities going on there.

That’s Awful! The day care had been doubling as a dogfighting facility. When police raided the home, they found 10 kids being cared for, as well as nine badly injured and malnourished dogs, splattered blood, syringes, and equipment used to train fighting dogs. Four people were arrested on felony dogfighting charges. The wife of one of the arrested men ran the day care, and was reportedly not involved in the dogfighting.

Winner: 37-year-old Jackie Denise Knott of Albertville, Alabama
Background: In October 2009, someone called the police on Knott, who was driving her minivan down the road with a large cardboard box on the roof.

That’s Awful! Knott’s 13-year-old daughter was inside the box. Knott told police that the box was too big to fit in the van, and that her daughter was inside it to make sure it didn’t blow away. She said it was safe—because she had secured the box to the car with a coat hanger. Police arrested Knott on child-endangerment charges. Her daughter came to her defense, saying it was her own idea to get in the box, and that her mother was “an awesome mom.”

Winner: A 19-year-old man in Philadelphia
Background: A woman in a Philadelphia suburb looked out her window in September 2009 and saw a cat that someone had left in her yard.

That’s Awful! The cat was wrapped, from tail to neck, in duct tape. The woman quickly got the cat to the local Humane Society, where they managed to remove all of the tape, freeing the very affectionate—and dehydrated—young female cat underneath. The Pennsylvania Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (PSPCA) offered a $2,000 reward for information leading to the arrest of the person who taped up the cat. One week later, a 19-year-old man, whom a PSPCA spokesman described as “very remorseful,” came forward and admitted that he’d done it. He was arrested on animal-cruelty charges. More than 100 people applied to adopt the kitty—her real owners were never located—and she quickly found a home. Her new name: Sticky.

As much as 10% of the U.S. national income can be attributed to organized crime.

Winner: Robert Stark Higgins of Stuart, Florida

Background: A local homeowner called police in 2009 to report that Higgins was in his backyard.

That’s Awful! Higgins was in the man’s swimming pool…and was covered in feces. He grabbed a towel and ran away, but police dogs tracked him down easily. Higgins was charged with several offenses, and told police that he had been drinking. (No word on whether the homeowner planned to ever swim in the pool again.)

Winner: Kathy White of Marquette, Michigan
Background: In January 2009, White and her husband were in their living room playing their Nintendo Wii bowling game that they had just gotten for Christmas. White took a swing with one of the game’s remote controls just as her five-month-old miniature Sheltie puppy, Ozzy, jumped in the air.

That’s Awful! The swinging remote in White’s hand hit the dog’s head…and killed him. A frantic White called her neighbor, who ran over and checked the dog’s heart; there was no pulse.
That’s Great! The neighbor blew into Ozzy’s snout several times—and the puppy woke up. He was rushed to a vet and, after a couple of weeks, was as good as new. (But he’s no longer allowed in the room when the couple are playing with the Wii.)

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“Cynical realism is the intelligent man’s best excuse for doing nothing in an intolerable situation.” —Aldous Huxley

Common Wii injuries: Black eyes (hitting bystanders), hand injuries (hitting things) & tennis elbow.