“Look Up At the stars And NOT DOWN at your feet.”
—Stephen Hawking
Chapter 9
Asking questions is how we learn. How we grow. And kids are naturally curious—it’s just how they’re made. But as they grow, they tend to lose that sense of wonder with the world. And boys, especially, as they may become expected to have all the answers, can eventually stop questioning why and how. So how do we continue to foster an environment that allows them to keep asking questions?
We and they need to remember to look for the magic. Look up at the night sky and imagine how far it goes; look down at the earth beneath your feet or at the horizon line where the ocean disappears and imagine all that’s in motion beyond your gaze. As adults, we sometimes close our eyes to the wonder of the world, but if we can manage to hold on to a sense of awe, like P. J., or recall a time in our life when an activity like painting allowed us to escape to a space that had no rules, like Smith, we’ll be in a better place to guide our children.
Don’t stifle the questions (even as the insistent but why? repeats like a skipping record). Don’t forget to ask questions right back. Engage with your boys openly and honestly. Keep the conversation going. Don’t forget to listen to the answers. Keep your mind open. Don’t judge. Look around you. Breathe in the moment. Listen for more questions. Value them. Then seek the answers together.
Mason Age 4
Is there anybody in there?
Landon Age 8
If you’ve ever wondered what happens when you catch a ball with your face instead of your glove, check me out.
Graham Age 9
Once, one of my friends got picked on at my school. He was getting teased by the fourth graders because he wasn’t as fast as some other kids. I went over to them and said, “Guys, just leave him alone, he’s a normal kid like you.” And the fourth graders just walked away.
saM Age 5
I picked this for my mommy.
Axel Age 5
I have many friends. I loved them since I met them. It just seems right.
DeAngelo Age 8
I worry about things changing. I wonder if there will be different staff at the Boys and Girls Club, and if so, will the staff be nice, will the kids like me, will the kids be nice? I also don’t like cussing, and when I become president, I will ban it.
ojore Age 5
The hardest part of swimming is trying not to count to four. I am only supposed to count to three and then breathe.
parker Age 11
I thought getting him to shake would never work, when in reality, it just took a lot of practice.
Hertford Age 5
I wish I could know more jokes because making people laugh makes me feel really happy.
CADE Age 11
I love swimming and feeling free in the water.
I’m growing fast.I’m growing like A Race car on a highway.
—Charles, age 7
P.J. Age 9
Space gives us something to dream about. I love the adventure of space exploration and thinking of new technologies for rocket propulsion. It upset me that people lost interest in space for a while.
Landon Age 9
I don’t necessarily fit the expectations of what people expect from boys. I am okay with that. I do think it’s important to try your hardest, but it’s okay to need support.
Oliver age 5
Hugs are important because they are always nice and warm and cuddly.
Smith Age 8
When I paint, I feel like I can do what I want. I can be creative without someone telling me what to do. It’s like there aren’t any rules.
Brooks Age 9
Outside is where the adventures always happen.
matias Age 9
It is not about what you look like, it’s about your heart.
MileS H. Age 9
Our family doesn’t believe too much in gender stereotypes. It’s okay to cry if you are a boy because it’s kind of a strength. It shows you can get to your emotions.
