In conversation: Jenny Kee and Grace Heifetz
Jenny Kee remembers what she was wearing. The first abortion – Philip, London – she was nineteen. It was the swinging sixties, 1966, and she had a swinging boyfriend. There was no question of having the baby. ‘It wasn’t a steady relationship. It had to end.’ Philip provided the money and supported the decision. ‘I remember that it was a decent doctor.’ Artist Martin Sharp, a dear friend, visited her in hospital. She wore a Victorian nightie. ‘Look, I’d been lucky up to that point. From sixteen to nineteen I was like a wild child. I wasn’t taking precautions.’ Jenny is always candid: ‘I have no filter,’ she laughs.
The second abortion – Michael, London – Jenny was 22. She had been seeing Michael – also an artist, broke – for three months. ‘I asked Martin Sharp for the money for the abortion but he wouldn’t lend it to me. (Oz founder) Richard Neville gave it to me, though!’ It cost about £45, and she wore a Jordanian dress. It was 5 July 1969, and from the hospital she went straight to the Rolling Stones concert in Hyde Park.
The third time Jenny was pregnant – Michael, Sydney – she was 27. It was 1974 and she had just started the iconic Strand Arcade store, Flamingo Park Frock Salon, with Linda Jackson. She went to the gynaecologist because she hadn’t had her period and she had a bit of a tummy. She found out that she was pregnant. ‘Michael was over the moon. I was too, but at the same time I had just opened the shop. We looked at each other, and I remember thinking: I can run the business and have a baby. But we’d just started the shop … I remember saying fucking hell!’
Jenny was six months pregnant when she put on her first fashion parade. She concealed her stomach with a beautiful green Chinese embroidered coat. ‘It had plenty of room in it.’ She gave up smoking, and worried about the drugs they’d been taking.
‘I had two beautiful women (business partner Linda Jackson, and photographer Fran Moore) by my side, as well as my mother. Michael was in ecstasy that I was pregnant. He was at home being an artist. He wore pink shirts, and I just knew she was going to be a girl, and I wore pink – everything was pink. I blossomed. It was a beautiful pregnancy.’ Jenny looks at her daughter, Grace, born in 1975, ‘You were meant to be, darling.’ Jenny laughs, ‘but then I ate too much chili crab and got toxaemia (pre-eclampsia) from too much salt.’
For a special video for Grace’s 21st birthday, Jenny interviewed her own mother and discovered that her own mum also had an abortion in Sydney in the 1950s. ‘It would have been the hardest thing in the world for a woman who loved children, but my father was a gambler. I don’t remember Mum ever in that bedroom – she slept on the sofa – it was an unhappy marriage. The abortion would have been a big secret.’ Jenny was the second of three children. Her mother wasn’t able to have that fourth baby but she doted on Grace, her new grand-daughter. ‘She was beyond in love with Grace. Grace was the fourth child, you see.’ Grace and Jenny pass around a photo of Jenny’s mum, strong and defiant and beautiful.
‘When Michael rolled in after joints and whiskey and she had been babysitting, she would just pray that he would get Grace safely home.’
Grace grins with the recollection of the strong, non-judgemental bond she had with her grandmother. ‘As a teenager after I had been out all night, she would bring me freshly squeezed orange juice!’
Grace had her daughter, Estella, in 2004. ‘Jenny and Stella straightaway had the same kind of bond as me and my grandmother.’
The third abortion – Michael, Sydney – changes the air in the room. Where the first two were had-to-haves, this one is a painful recollection. It was 1978. The year before, Jenny and 22-month-old Grace had been involved in the Granville rail disaster, a train derailment that resulted in 84 deaths. ‘We were in the first carriage that split in two. And to hear those words now is very different to having lived through it. Grace fell out of my hands once …’ Here, Jenny pauses. ‘But I was so driven and so creative, and Granville brought out more creativity in me.’
‘Michael wasn’t practical and lived in a fantasy world – he played golf four times a week! I had a beautiful, incredible baby, and I got pregnant again. And I was thinking: how can I take two children down to Sydney on the train now, after Granville? And with Michael – he was a fabulous father but he was difficult, smoking dope and painting beautiful art. But part of me wanted to have the child … Well, I had another abortion because I couldn’t cope. How could I cope with a three-year-old and a baby? Two children – he wanted the romance of that – but fuck that. I knew I couldn’t do it.’
‘My dear friend Gabby took me in to have the abortion and I can remember sobbing, and the crying was because I knew I wasn’t being supported by my partner. That was a huge thing. And Grace was divine, and she fitted in like a glove with everything Fran and Linda and I did. Every time Linda made an outfit for us, she made a little version for Grace. It was a beautiful world but I could see that another child wasn’t going to be easy. My adrenalin was running on empty. And I was very ambitious – we were heading right to the top of the game. We were creating Australian fashion.’
‘These two women, and mum, were by my side with Grace – we were in love with Grace. But I knew that I could not have another child with Mike.’
‘So the first two had to happen, but this third abortion was hard. It was with a beautiful man who was a great father to Grace, but he was an addict. He hadn’t been supportive after Granville. That third abortion was traumatic.’
The fourth abortion – Michael, Sydney – it was 1983 with a riot of colourful prints. Jenny visited a clairvoyant who told her she was pregnant. ‘I said, WHAT?’ She was still married to Michael, and would remain so until 1990. ‘But the writing was on the wall. I couldn’t do it again.’
‘I feel blessed that I can talk openly with Grace,’ Jenny says. They are clearly close. Of her father Michael, Grace says: ‘He was a great father, but on his own terms.’ Grace went on The Pill when she was seventeen. ‘I was terrified of getting pregnant.’
At some point Jenny went on The Pill, then the copper coil. ‘And then I had my tubes tied. All good.’
She is philosophical. ‘The regret was the third abortion. Not regret exactly – there was no other way. I reflect on this now through my spiritual practice (Jenny is a devoted Buddhist of 33 years) and ponder these decisions, but I have no judgement, this is the way it was and how it had to be.’
Grace adds: ‘Having such strong women around me allowed me to be honest and real, and nothing has ever been too taboo to discuss. I only hope I can pass this openness on to my own daughter. I think we are on the right track.’