London hotels can be sources of hopelessly romantic creativity. In 1899 Claude Monet painted the Houses of Parliament from his balcony at the Savoy hotel. About 100 years later, Fay Weldon moved in with her typewriter as writer in residence. If you’ve got visitors in town, fancy giving Claude a run for his money, or just can’t face going back to your dump of a flat, you’ll need the services of a hotel. When choosing your hotel, think carefully about what kind of London you’re looking to experience and whom the room is for. We’ve identified a few of the usual suspects for whom you may find yourself booking a hotel room, and heartily offer you our best suggestions for each. Just don’t expect to emerge from any of them clutching a masterpiece penned overnight.
So you need to find a hotel for a VIP client who will accept nothing but the best. Where to start? Since you don’t have to cover the bill yourself, here is where you can really dig into London hospitality at its most deluxe. Start by trying to book The Ritz (Map 9), with its amazing views of Green Park, Rococo detailing and killer high tea. Brown’s (Map 9) is a stunning five-star and was the first hotel in London to have a lift. There is also the Dorchester (Map 9), and its neighbour the Hilton Park Lane (Map 9), where you may see a celebrity stumbling back to their quarters at four in the morning, if you’re very, very lucky. The Landmark (Map 76) is a wonderfully Victorian retreat in the centre of ritzy Marylebone and has a rather fine atrium. But the granddaddy of luxury London must be the Savoy (Map 24). This elegant old-timer stunk of old money until its temporary closure in 2007 for a £100 million spruce-up. It was built on the location of the Savoy Palace, which burned down during the Peasants’ Revolt in 1381. We say let them eat cake (and tea).
This can be any weekend where a Londoner decides booze-goggled sex and/or quick-to-bed access after a night of clubbing is worthy of dishing out the dosh on an über-chic central hotel. It’s one (giant) step up from splurging on a taxi and is the realm of the London boutique hotel where location is everything. Hazlitt’s (Map 12) is right in the middle of Soho yet still wonderfully intimate. Andaz Hotel (Map 8) (formerly Great Eastern Hotel) is in the heart of the City, with funky Shoreditch on its doorstep, whilst the ‘modern English’ style of the Charlotte Street Hotel (Map 3) is painfully hip and sophisticated.
Then there’s the hotel for your sweetly naïve cousin that sees London through rose-tinted Ray Bans: full of scones, Mary Poppins and the chimes of Big Ben. You wouldn’t want to burst her cute little bubble, would you? Not to worry, there are plenty of hotels to satisfy the Harrods tourist. San Domenico House London (Map 46) is a Chelsea boutique hotel that is about as warm and cuddly as a cup of sugary tea. The Rookery (Map 15), built amongst a row of once derelict Georgian townhouses in Clerkenwell, is cluttered with museum-worthy furniture, open fires and ye oldey worldey frippery. Or, if she can’t bear to be too far away from Buckingham Palace, there’s the nearby Windermere (Map 20).
If your parents have spent their nest egg on bailing you out of your London-induced debt, they will probably want to get the most out of London for the least money possible. But if the hotel you pick for their stay is anything short of perfect, you’ll never hear the end of it. If they have loyalty cards with any of the bigger hotel chains, now is a good time to use them. The London Bridge Hotel (Map 22) is an independent four-star that usually has good deals and is conveniently close to Borough Market and London Bridge station. Gower Street has a wealth of small family-run hotels at reasonable prices, including the Cavendish (Map 23), within stumbling distance of the British Museum. There’s also the nearby Crescent Hotel (Map 4), next to Russell Square. If you miss home cooking, get your ‘rents a serviced apartment with a kitchenette. Marlin Apartments and Think London have a few different properties, often ripe for the celeb sighting as pop stars are known to hitch up their wagons there during drawn-out tours.
Then you get your university friend still in strong denial of the real world, who refuses to get a real job. The amount of times this sponger has crashed on your sofa has been enough to send your might-be-the-one girl/boyfriend packing. Instead of blaming him/her for your future life of loneliness, banish them from the flat and call in the services of one of London’s cheapies. They do exist, you just have to look hard. The Hoxton Hotel (Map 84), an urban cheap boutique founded by the owner of Pret a Manger, is famous for its £1 hotel room sales. Cheap but cheerful chain Premier Inn (multiple locations) boasts rooms from £29 a night. Sometimes short-term rental companies, like Airbnb (www.airbnb.com), offer shared facility flats at very cheap prices. This is perfect if a guest is wishing to stay for a week or more. Airbnb has over 9,000 listings in London, which start as low as £10 a night. This can be a necessary and friendly alternative to endless weeks of friends imposing on your hospitality.
Unfortunately, for some people visiting London, a dodgy guesthouse isn’t going to cut it. You want to show them how your city can be just as perfect as their countryside home and how not jealous you are of them! Of course, they don’t see the point in paying tons either. This is where the few and far between bed and breakfasts come out of the woodwork. Most of these are small, so book in advance. London’s best is the warm and welcoming Bay Tree House and Annex B&B (Out of coverage). Great for families or singletons alike, it’s in New Southgate (about 25 minutes by tube from central London) but can be a relaxing retreat. Barclay House (Map 43) is a hidden gem in Fulham Broadway (make sure you write down the address as it’s not signposted and can blend in). Aster House (Map 45) is a bit pricier but close enough to posh High Street Kensington to give a glimpse of how the other half live.
With all these hotels, compare prices online, ask for their best rate and/or call for last minute deals, you may be surprised at the reductions available. Good offers mean you can pay less than you’d think for the best, and London does really have the best.