I have come home at last! This is my real country! I belong here. This is the land I have been looking for all my life, though I never knew it till now.
—C. S. LEWIS, THE LAST BATTLE
OUR MINDS CAN do funny things. Our senses and our thinking are the only ways we can process reality. They are also the only ways we can process God’s truth. As believers, we have the Holy Spirit guiding us and are not limited to our own devices. But our minds are still the means through which we take in information. Because our human minds are curious and troubled by the loss of our loved ones, we naturally want to know more about death. We can hear stories of those who had near-death experiences and wonder, fear, or hope the accounts are true. There are plenty of theories, myths, and philosophies about what happens after death. But some of those ideas come from non-Christian worldviews, human reasoning, our own imaginations, or the enemy himself.
Some things we know about death, and some things we don’t. When you’re walking through the dark valley of grief, your mind may struggle to separate what’s true from what isn’t. It can be difficult to embrace the reality that God has not yet revealed everything we think we want to know about death and what happens thereafter. When we have many unanswered questions, in our humanness we can be prone to “filling in the blanks” where God’s Word leaves some details unexplained. We want to know, “Where is my loved one?” We can want so much to know what our loved one experienced or is experiencing that we become vulnerable to beliefs not supported by Scripture, including things such as reincarnation and communication with the dead.
In this chapter we’ll look at some of these ideas, beliefs, and philosophies from a biblical standpoint. This will not be a complete biblical exposition on the state of man in death. We will not theologically exhaust any of these questions. But I hope this discussion provides some perspective, some hope, and a framework to grapple with the sometimes competing and confusing ideas you may have heard about death.
As a starting place, let me point you to the underlying truths of the gospel that form the foundation of everything God has done, is doing, and will do in relation to humanity. These are things we know with certainty from Scripture. We know that human beings were created by God, are dependent on Him for life, and have earthly bodies formed from dust and that return to dust. Yet our Creator has made us for eternity. He has provided a way for us to live forever with Him, which is by embracing Jesus as our Lord and Savior because of His death and resurrection. We know that our time in this world is temporary, but God’s kingdom will continue forever in a realm we can only partially now imagine. Those who make Jesus their Lord and Savior are assured that they will live eternally the way God intended—fully alive in joy, peace, and communion with Him and others in the re-created earth when He makes all things new.
Death for the believer is not the end. It’s the step between our life here and now and our life eternally.
Death for the believer is not the end but only the in-between. It’s the step between our life here and now and our life eternally. Is that step only one moment? What about the resurrection? What does “present with the Lord” in 2 Corinthians 5:8 (MEV) mean? Scripture tells us some things about death but not everything. Keeping the reality of what we know for certain in mind, let’s address some of the challenging ideas and questions surrounding death from a biblical viewpoint.
Where Is My Loved One?
Only in eternity will we know everything we may think we want to know about what happens when someone dies. There are at least two word pictures in Scripture that may seem contradictory, and they have raised many questions for both theologians and believers.
Some passages portray those who have died as sleeping, not aware of anything, especially of what is going on here on earth. David said, “Among the dead no one proclaims your name. Who praises you from the grave?” (Ps. 6:5). Solomon wrote, “For the living know that they will die, but the dead know nothing; they have no further reward, and even their name is forgotten” (Eccles. 9:5). Jesus talked about death as sleep in stories such as those about Jairus’ daughter and Lazarus (Luke 8:52; John 11:11–14). And Hebrews 11:40 says, “God had planned something better for us so that only together with us would they be made perfect.” That verse seems to indicate that those who have died are not experiencing their reward but are waiting for us to join them so we can all experience it together.
This picture of death makes the resurrection “easier” to fit into the series of events our time-bound minds may imagine. Significant portions of the Christian church have taught that human beings who die simply sleep until Jesus’ return when they will be raised to life again by the same power that raised Jesus from the dead and then enter heaven with Him.
Then there are those passages that paint a picture of one who believes in Jesus enjoying heaven immediately after death. Jesus spoke to the thief on the cross, “Today you will be with me in paradise” (Luke 23:43). In 2 Corinthians 5:1–8 Paul unpacks the phrase many of us love: “To be absent from the body [is] to be present with the Lord” (v. 8, MEV). This passage does not indicate that those who are “with the Lord” have knowledge of anything happening here on earth or communication with those still walking this planet. Truthfully, this passage says essentially nothing about the state of those who are “with the Lord,” such as their form, if any, or their consciousness, if any. Finally, John in Revelation speaks of seeing “the souls of those who had been slain because of the word of God” present in heaven before Jesus’ return (Rev. 6:9–11). Are our loved ones enjoying heaven now? Bible scholars debate that question, and many church traditions affirm that believers who have died and are “present with the Lord” are conscious and experiencing all the joys of heaven while they await us to join them.
So which is it? Both pictures are in the Bible. When Scripture seems to contradict itself, the problem is with our understanding, not Scripture. I believe our problem is with our understanding of time. We naturally think in terms of sequence; one thing follows another. But Albert Einstein said that time is relative to the observer, and that events that appear sequential to one observer can appear simultaneous to another observer.1 Einstein was no theologian, but his work does show that our human perspective is so limited. If human beings have been able to imagine time travel and different universes where time functions differently, who are we to limit God and how He deals with humanity? Death is entrance into eternity, so is it any surprise that we cannot fully understand the pictures God has given us of something we have not experienced?
What we do know for certain is that those who die who believe in Jesus are preserved “present with the Lord.” We can have absolute trust that the God who created us and who emptied all of heaven in the person of Jesus to bring us back to Himself has them safely in His hands. I’m not here to lobby for one interpretation of what happens when a person dies; there are things we don’t know right now. But I am here to lobby for us to trust our questions to the One who has conquered death for all eternity.
Communicating With Deceased Loved Ones
This is one of the most common questions many going through grief wrestle with. In the early days and weeks after your loved one’s death, you may experience times when you “feel” as though your loved one is with you. You may sense the person’s presence. You may have dreams or other experiences when it seems your loved one is speaking to you. Some people feel as though their loved one’s spirit is “hanging around,” sharing parts of life with them, watching over them, or trying to communicate with them in some way. Things others may think of as coincidences may seem to affirm your loved one’s presence to you.
At least a couple times in the initial weeks after Al’s death, I had dreams in which I “saw” him and “heard” him communicate things to me. The experiences felt terribly real. I would have loved for them to be real. It’s likely you may have similar experiences, though not everyone going through grief does. Some people have many more of these experiences than others do.
For centuries the church has generally interpreted Jesus’ story of the rich man and Lazarus as indicating that those who have died cannot travel between the heavenly realm and the earthly realm. (See Luke 16:19–31.) Intentionally seeking communication with the dead through séances or similar rituals is specifically forbidden in Scripture in passages such as Deuteronomy 18:10–12. Seeking to communicate with the dead puts one in danger of direct influence from Satan and his kingdom of darkness.
So what are we to think of the experiences of those who say they have sensed that their deceased loved one is present or communicating with them? It’s important to remember that our experiences must not determine our theology. We must read Scripture for what it says, not for what we want it to say.
These experiences could be our own minds processing the loss of our loved one. The human mind is fully capable of doing such things. Based on Scripture, I believe this is the most likely explanation for most such experiences. And God is also certainly able to use our minds to bring comfort in unique ways. I know Al was not personally speaking to me in my dreams, but I can embrace a measure of comfort from the experience. I don’t have to base my theology on that experience, however, or seek it again.
Can people feel the “spirit” of their loved one near them for a period after their death? I believe we must be very careful here. Again, we must base our theology on God’s Word, not our experiences. The clearest teaching of Scripture is that our loved one’s spirit is with the Lord, not here on earth.
Please keep in mind that it is possible for the enemy to craftily present experiences to your mind using demons that would appear like and sound like your loved one. If the experience is frightening, or especially if any message conveyed does not line up with God’s Word, your most appropriate response would be to pray in the name of Jesus and intentionally enter God’s presence in worship. You might say out loud, “Any spirit or influence not from God, be gone from me in Jesus’ name! Heavenly Father, I need Your presence with me right here, right now.”
Finally, there is no evidence in Scripture that our lives are directed or protected by loved ones who have died. That is a role God reserves for Himself through the ministry of angels and the Holy Spirit. Let God be God in your life, even during this journey through grief. Hold on to what Scripture does say, and trust God to handle the questions we don’t have complete answers to. Your loved one lives in your memory. You are different because of the relationship you had with that person. That is the dimension in which your loved one continues to impact your life.
What About Near-Death Experiences?
Multiple stories exist of those who have “died” or been close to death for various periods (minutes, hours, sometimes longer) and then returned to life. Many of these stories are extremely vivid and convincing. Some incorporate medical or scientific support for the experience. Those who have been through such experiences describe them differently. Some talk about seeing or entering heaven, some about seeing hell, some about communicating with God or angels. Some are convinced they were given a message during their experience that they are to share. What are we to make of these stories? What, if anything, are we to believe as a result of hearing such claims?
Again, we must base our theology on Scripture, not on human experience. And as some Bible teachers have pointed out, these stories are all different. Therefore, they cannot all be portraying accurate information about what happens when a person dies.
Scripture tells us much about heaven. Jesus talked about it quite often. He also referred to hell numerous times. Bible scholars continue to wrestle with what hell means. What we can say for certain is that hell is a horrible place prepared for the devil and his angels (Matt. 25:41), and you don’t want to be there! On the other hand, heaven is where God is. He wants you with Him. Jesus said, “I am going there to prepare a place for you” (John 14:2). Again, we know much about heaven but not everything. When John was writing Revelation, he struggled to find human language to describe the beauty and glory of the place. Old Testament writers struggled similarly. Paul is thought to be referring to himself when he wrote of a man who “was caught up to paradise and heard inexpressible things, things that no one is permitted to tell” (2 Cor. 12:4).
Let’s be clear that we as humans do not know everything about what happens to a person at the moment of or after death. How God takes the human spirit and preserves it “present with the Lord” is beyond our ability to fully understand. Is it possible that the individuals who tell of these sometimes-beautiful experiences have been shown a part of reality that we cannot see? Yes. It’s also possible that the human mind in the near-death state experiences things created by its own beliefs, memories, etc. I do not believe we necessarily need to dismiss these stories as false, but we must again base our theology on Scripture and not on human experience. If these stories are encouraging and spur you to develop a deeper relationship with God in the here and now, then God’s Holy Spirit has used them for good.
Other Common Questions
Now for a few shorter questions that we can answer clearly from God’s Word.
Does reincarnation happen?
Biblically we can answer this one clearly. Scripture says that “people are destined to die once, and after that to face judgment” (Heb. 9:27). Life here on earth is short, and we each get only one such life. How long each life will last we cannot know in advance; only God knows. But once that life here is over, it’s over as far as earth is concerned. There is not another life on earth for anyone.
The idea of reincarnation comes from a non-Christian worldview. Whether the concept of reincarnation is appealing or frightening to you, the idea is clearly not biblical. A human being is not reborn as some other creature or in some other period of history.
Should we pray for or be baptized for the dead?
This question sometimes arises from this comment Paul made: “Now if there is no resurrection, what will those do who are baptized for the dead? If the dead are not raised at all, why are people baptized for them?” (1 Cor. 15:29). This is the only verse in Scripture where this is mentioned, and history does not offer clarification on any specific practice that could be characterized as “baptism for the dead” in the early Corinthian church.
Going back to what we know to be true, salvation comes through one’s own faith in Jesus. Romans 10:9 declares, “... that if you confess with your mouth Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved” (MEV). Whatever Paul is talking about in 1 Corinthians 15:29, being baptized for someone who has died does not cause them to be saved or alter their eternal destiny.
Paul’s comment in 1 Corinthians comes during his defense of the reality of Jesus’ resurrection and therefore our resurrection in the future as believers in Him. His comment may well be simply rhetorical. Whatever practice he is referencing, he neither condemns nor condones. It’s one of those biblical statements we can leave a question mark nearby and base our theology on the primary point Paul was making. No, the Bible does not direct us to pray or be baptized for the dead, and certainly not for the purpose of effecting the deceased person’s salvation.
Can a person repent and accept Jesus after death?
I earlier mentioned Hebrews 9:27, “People are destined to die once, and after that to face judgment.” Numerous other scriptures also make it clear that our eternal destiny is determined by the choice we make during this life to believe in Jesus as our Lord and Savior. Peter preached, “And everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved” (Acts 2:21). Paul told the Philippian jailer, “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved—you and your household” (Acts 16:31). As one of my theology professors used to say at funerals, “My job is not to preach your loved one into either heaven or hell; those decisions were made during their lifetime.”
There is no evidence in Scripture that one’s eternal destiny can be changed after death. Once death has occurred, repentance and salvation are no longer possible.
But remember that God is patient, “not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance” (2 Pet. 3:9). He’s looking for a way to save as many as possible, including your loved one. You and I do not know what happened in our loved ones’ minds and hearts in the moments surrounding their death. While their eternal destiny became sealed at that point, we can be certain that God knows whether they called out to Him. And He can be trusted to deal rightly with our loved one and with us.
Unanswered Questions
As with the why questions, the questions about death can best be satisfied when you turn them into who questions. Those things about death, salvation, resurrection, eternal life, heaven, etc. that the Bible talks about clearly we can be certain of. There are other things that we can speculate about, but we must never confuse our speculation with the truth. Some of the things we wonder about we will only fully understand when we experience eternity for ourselves. In the meantime we can trust in the One who holds our loved ones in His hands and holds our future.
Imagine you’re a parent. (Perhaps you are.) You plan a vacation to the beach, and you are certain your children will be thrilled with the experience. You do your best to describe the ocean, the gulls, the sand, the breeze, and the sound of the waves. But your children can’t comprehend what they haven’t yet seen and experienced for themselves. Pictures, stories, and reassurance aren’t enough to let your children know what it will be like. But your children would be right to trust you when you assure them it will be wonderful.
It’s the same with God and eternity. We imagine all kinds of problems, questions, and uncertainties. We worry or wonder about things that are not confusing at all to God. Whatever His Word does not speak to directly, we can trust that He has under control. And by knowing in whom we trust, our hearts can be satisfied.
Many people wonder about death. We believe intuitively that there is something beyond what we see and experience in this life, and God’s Word confirms this is true. What exactly happens at the time of death is something we can only partially understand. We can be assured that God is well able to preserve those who belong to Him in a state of being “present with the Lord,” and that to be in His presence is glorious for our loved ones, whatever that looks like between now and when we join them in eternity. We can also be assured that God is looking for any possible way to save our loved ones, and He can be trusted with those decisions.
Scripture indicates that after death our loved ones are not communicating with us or involved in our lives here. Details of the afterlife described by those who claimed to have had near-death experiences may or may not be true. But we can trust God’s Word that heaven and the new earth will be more wonderful than we can fully imagine. And we can safely trust our unanswered questions to the One who is in charge.
TWO STEPS FORWARD
1. Perhaps this chapter has challenged some of your beliefs around death. If so, write about your thoughts in your journal. And then take those thoughts to God in prayer.
2. How well are you trusting God with the things about death you don’t completely understand? In your journal write a prayer to God about this.