Facts for Tourists: The Mosque of Al-Hakim

1     Built in 1010 by the mad Caliph, Al-Hakim bi-Amr Allah.

1.1   When he was a boy, Al-Hakim’s tutor nicknamed him “Lizard” for his off-putting grimaces and manners.

1.2   He was eleven when he took the throne.

1.3   That tutor was then murdered.

1.4   The mosque was once used as a prison for Crusaders.

2     One of Al-Hakim’s generals dared come in on him unannounced.

2.1   The general had just returned from a victory; hence the rash gesture.

2.2   He found the Caliph standing over the corpse of a disemboweled boy.

2.3   The general was beheaded.

2.4   Salah al-Din stabled his horses in Al-Hakim’s mosque.

3     Al-Hakim patrolled the city streets on his donkey, Moon.

3.1   He had a special hatred of dishonest merchants.

3.2   Anyone found cheating was sodomized on the spot, by a huge black servant accompanying Al-Hakim for this purpose.

3.3   Napoleon stored foodstuffs in Al-Hakim’s mosque.

4     He hated dogs: he had all the dogs of Cairo slaughtered.

4.1   He hated women: for seven years, by his decree, they remained indoors.

4.2   To ensure this, a moratorium was declared on the manufacture of women’s shoes.

4.3   Nasser opened a school for boys in Al-Hakim’s mosque.

5     Finally, Al-Hakim proclaimed himself divine.

5.1   Three followers entered the Mosque of Amr at Friday prayers to substitute his name for that of Allah.

5.2   Enraged, the congregation murdered them on the spot.

5.3   Hakim had troops raze and loot the city in retaliation.

5.4   Soon thereafter, he vanished on a solitary jaunt with Moon.

5.5   His body was never found; one, at least, of his followers, saw in this proof of divinity, and went on to preach his worship in Syria.

5.6   This is the origin of the Druze sect.

5.7   Most recently, the mosque of Al-Hakim served as a madhouse.