Contents

1. Cover
2. Title Page
3. Dedication
5. 1. “This Isn’t My House and You Aren’t My Parents”
6. Discuss
7. Father: Elementary
8. At The Dinner Table: 1977
9. 2. “This Isn’t My House and You’re Not My Children”
10. Story
11. Begin Again
12. “You Can’t Go Home Again And Chew Gum At The Same Time If You Won’t Listen To Me”
13. Initiating Event: “The Phone Rings”
14. My Brother Eddie
15. Boulder Sections
16. 19. Boulder: “Colorado Ceramic Arts”
17. 19(b). “Colorado Ceramic Arts”
18. 4. Nepal / 20. “Colorado Ceramic Arts”
19. 21. Boulder: 109b Pine Street
20. 18. “Colorado Ceramic Arts”
21. Initiating Incident: “Business Opportunity”
22. 22. 109b Pine Street
23. 23. Boulder: 1203 13th Street
24. 25. Colorado – California (Montara Beach)
25. 24. Boulder: 1203 13th Street
26. What Happens
27. “You Can’t Go Home Over My Dead Body Until You Wipe That Look Off Your Face”
28. Upright Considerations and Doubts: “Where Children Come From”
29. After Dinner: 1975
30. Easy in Hindsight
31. Back in the Bedroom: A Caparisoned Elephant
32. Cairo Sections
33. 11. 1987: The Pyramids of Giza / The Sahara Desert
34. Preface
35. 10. Cairo International Airport / First Sight
36. 12. The Sphinx
37. 9. Perspective: Turkey (10 days previously)
38. Facts for Tourists: The Mosque of Al-Hakim
39. 13. Cairo: The Hotel Raffles
40. Book Report: The Celestine Prophecy
41. “You Can’t Go Home Again In My Room, I Have To Sleep There”
42. Alien Spacecraft Section
43. Synopsis: Denise Aimee Cadwallader
44. The Whole Point
45. Reason to Cry
46. The Interpretation of Nightmares
47. Dahab Sections
48. Facts for Tourists: Dahab
49. 14. Cairo: Loose Ends
50. 15. Dahab: seven days, seven nights
51. 16. Paradise: what, ever after, Eddie pictures when you say “love”
52. 7. Perspective: Quito (12 years previously)
53. 17. Dahab: Day Eight
54. How to Play Casino Blackjack for Profit
55. “You Can’t Go Home Again Without Me, I Will Be Desolate”
56. The Big Day
57. “What Happens To You After You Die”
58. Alien Spacecraft Sections (continued)
59. 2. Santa Clara, California, 1965
60. Lola Sections
61. Irene Michaelson
62. 26. Montara Beach, California: One Hour Earlier / Eddie Knocking on Ralph’s door, unwelcome
63. 4.
64. “You Can’t Go Home Again On Your Own Two Feet”
65. Back in the Bedroom: A Tenacious Burro
66. We have Sex Finally
67. A Battle Between the Forces of Good and Evil
68. What Happens Next
69. “I Am Not Getting to the Point If I Can’t Take You With Me / Sentimental Drivel: As Good As It Gets?”
70. “You Can’t Go Home Again If You Have Never Been There Before”
71. August
72. Lola Sections (cont.)
73. 3. Princess Margaret House, Shoreditch, 1973
74. Book Report: On Beyond Zebra by Dr. Seuss
75. Epilogue
76. Montara Sections
77. January
78. A Representative Day/“You Can’t Go Home Again if That’s All You Care About”
79. 28. Montara Beach, California, April 1999
80. Airplane Sections
81. 29. Changi International Airport, Singapore
82. 27. Rotterdam, the Netherlands (three weeks earlier)
83. 30. Singapore – Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia
84. French Sections
85. 6. Café Casino, Avignon, France, 1973
86. 5. Casino Avignon, France, 1973
87. 6. Café Casino (cont.)
88. In Depth: Denise Cadwallader’s Luck
89. Emotional Digression: Before It’s Too Late “The only good thing anyone has ever done”
90. 8. Casino Atlantic, Quito, 1978
91. 31. Airplane Sections (cont.) / Waiting for permission to land
92. The Main Dread Secret
93. Facts for Tourists: Pullau Pangkor
94. “You Can’t Go Home Again Because You Are Poisonous”
95. The Origin of My Concept of God
96. Endgame
97. Day Four, as I begin to wake
98. Malaysia Sections
99. Context
100. 32. Pullau Pangkor, Malaysia: at a picnic table on the beach, the sun setting and the sea reminding us, in waves
101. On the beach, with the sparkling waves done and undone, in black and white, Guatemala:
102. Segue: to the point
103. Beside the point: all tarnation
104. 1. July 4, 1971: Operation Pretty Boy
105. An Essay on the Futility of Earthly Love
106. 1. Momostenago, Guatemala (continued)
107. Why you can’t go home again
108. 33. Pullau Pangkor, Malaysia: Deus Ex Machina
109. Edward John Moffat
110. 34. Heathrow International Airport, London, England, 2000
111. Appendices
     1. Appendix A: Pro Blackjack
     2. Appendix B: What Happens To You After You Die
112. About the Author
113. Praise
114. Credits
115. Copyright
116. About the Publisher