Forming an Identity

Flip it Video: Adolescent Identity Development

To refine their sense of identity, adolescents in individualist cultures usually try out different “selves” in different situations. They may act out one self at home, another with friends, and still another at school or online. If two situations overlap—as when a teenager brings new friends home—the discomfort can be considerable (Klimstra et al., 2015). The teen often wonders, “Which self should I be? Which is the real me?” The eventual resolution is a self-definition that unifies the various selves into a consistent and comfortable sense of who one is—an identity.

identity

our sense of self; according to Erikson, the adolescent’s task is to solidify a sense of self by testing and integrating various roles.

“ Somewhere between the ages of 10 and 13 (depending on how hormone-enhanced their beef was), children entered adolescence, a.k.a. ‘the de-cutening’.”

Comedian Jon Stewart et al., Earth (The Book), 2010

For both adolescents and adults, group identities are often formed by how we differ from those around us. When living in Britain, I [DM] become conscious of my Americanness. When spending time in Hong Kong, I [ND] become conscious of my minority White race. For international students, for those of a minority ethnic or religious group, for gay and transgender people, or for people with a disability, a social identity often forms around their distinctiveness.

social identity

the “we” aspect of our self-concept; the part of our answer to “Who am I?” that comes from our group memberships.

Erikson noticed that some adolescents forge their identity early, simply by adopting their parents’ values and expectations. Other adolescents may adopt the identity of a particular peer group—jocks, preps, geeks, band kids, debaters. Traditional, collectivist cultures teach adolescents who they are, rather than encouraging them to decide on their own. Bicultural adolescents form complex identities as they integrate multiple group memberships and their feelings about them (Marks et al., 2011).

Most young people develop a sense of contentment with their lives. Which statement best describes you: “I would choose my life the way it is right now” or “I wish I were somebody else”? When American teens answered, 81 percent picked the first, and 19 percent the second (Lyons, 2004). Reflecting on their existence, 75 percent of American collegians say they “discuss religion/spirituality” with friends, “pray,” and agree that “we are all spiritual beings” and “search for meaning/purpose in life” (Astin et al., 2004; Bryant & Astin, 2008). This would not surprise Stanford psychologist William Damon and his colleagues (2003), who have contended that a key task of adolescence is to achieve a purpose—a desire to accomplish something personally meaningful that makes a difference to the world beyond oneself.

Competence versus inferiority

Intimacy versus isolation

Several studies indicate that self-esteem typically falls during the early to mid-teen years, and, for girls, depression scores often increase. But then self-image rebounds during the late teens and twenties, and previous gender differences in self-esteem become small (Zuckerman et al., 2016). Late adolescence is also a time when agreeableness and emotional stability scores increase (Klimstra et al., 2009).

Who shall I be today? By varying the way they look, adolescents try out different “selves.” Although we eventually form a consistent and stable sense of identity, the self we present may change with the situation.

These are the years when many people in industrialized countries begin exploring new opportunities by attending college or working full time. Many college seniors have achieved a clearer identity and a more positive self-concept than they had as first-year students (Waterman, 1988). Those students who have achieved a clear sense of identity are less prone to alcohol misuse (Bishop et al., 2005).

Erikson contended that adolescent identity formation (which continues into adulthood) is followed in young adulthood by a developing capacity for intimacy, the ability to form emotionally close relationships. When Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi [chick-SENT-me-hi] and Jeremy Hunter (2003) used a beeper to sample the daily experiences of American teens, they found them unhappiest when alone and happiest when with friends. Romantic relationships, which tend to be emotionally intense, are reported by some two in three North American 17-year-olds, but fewer in collectivist countries such as China (Collins et al., 2009; Li et al., 2010). Those who enjoy high-quality (intimate, supportive) relationships with family and friends tend also to enjoy similarly high-quality romantic relationships in adolescence, which set the stage for healthy adult relationships. Such relationships are, for most of us, a source of great pleasure. As Aristotle long ago recognized, we humans are “the social animal.” Relationships matter.

intimacy

in Erikson’s theory, the ability to form close, loving relationships; a primary developmental task in young adulthood.

In the cartoon, three chickens are standing at the side of a road, while a car approaches in the distance. Two of the chickens are clucking at the third, who is about to run across the road. One says “Lori is a chicken, Lori is a chicken – Buc Buc Buc”, and the other says “Bawwk – Buc Buc Buc”. A caption underneath the cartoon reads “Nine times out of ten, it’s all about peer pressure.”