FOR MANY OF you, the idea of embracing radical change is the most challenging concept you have encountered during this program. If you were paying close attention, you probably noticed that radical change was linked several times with the words risk, scary, and fear. I must admit that those associations were not accidental.
Here’s the funny thing about embracing radical change in your life: the prospect of sliding all our chips to the center of the table and fully committing to a new vision or calling is frightening. Being on the verge of committing to the thing God has called us to do is sometimes the scariest place to be on this earth. As you pursue a less-stressed life, you may find yourself downright terrified when you come to the brink of actualizing the peace of God in your life. Why? Because radical change demands that you surrender your comfort zone.
Yes, your stress is disruptive and self-defeating, but it might be a more comfortable place for you. You’re used to your stress. That’s why you might be tempted to avoid making the tough choices to live the new model and engage the new lifestyle. If you want to live a less-stressed life over the long haul, you have to embrace radical change. And if you want to embrace radical change, you must abandon your comfort zone and confront your fears.
TAKE THE LEAP
Many of you reading this book may remember the high dives that used to be a feature at public pools. In case you haven’t noticed, most communities don’t have high dives anymore because they are such an insurance liability. If you’re under eighteen years of age, you probably don’t know that we used to jump off platforms that seemed twenty stories high. Now we don’t even let our kids dive off the pool deck. I can imagine what a modern mom might say about that: “Now, Johnny, it wouldn’t be prudent to do a cannonball; we have to practice pool safety.”
But twenty years ago, it was nothing to walk into your local public pool and encounter what seemed to be an enormous tower hovering above even the smallest pool. Conquering the high dive was a rite of passage of sorts. Any boy over the age of four was encouraged to jump off the high dive to demonstrate that he was a risk-taking, adventurous male. To veteran poolgoers, it really didn’t matter whether you knew how to swim either: “Oh, you’re going up on that high dive, Billy? Make sure you take your inner tube. You don’t want to sink right to the bottom.”
If you’re old enough to have seen these dinosaurs, or perhaps to have dived off one, I’m sure you remember the mystique and prominence the high dive carried at the pool. I remember one time in particular when I walked into the pool area as a kid and saw the high dive. I couldn’t have been more than eight or nine years old. I was in awe of it. It looked so cool and like so much fun. I knew I would garner respect from both the old and young if I jumped off of it, and I was determined to take the plunge.
I quickly pulled my shirt off, kicked my flip-flops to the side, and literally ran over several people as I stared toward the heavens—and my destiny. Needless to say, I was exhilarated by the thought of my inaugural jump off the high dive. That is, until I got up to the top and looked down. Then, what I thought would be so much fun became an absolutely terrifying situation.
Have you ever had a similar experience? Do you remember the feeling of being up on a high dive looking down into the water below? It might have seemed twenty stories high from the pool deck, but from the diving platform it suddenly felt like the highest point on Planet Earth. I remember having a sinking feeling in my stomach as I stood above the water with everyone watching and waiting for me to jump.
Then, in a moment of sheer terror, I sat down on the diving platform. I don’t know what I was thinking at that moment, but I do know that it would have taken a football team’s strength to move me forward off the platform or backward down the ladder. I was sure that I didn’t want to jump off, but I was also sure that I didn’t want to take the long, humiliating climb down the ladder. Everyone was watching. Everyone was waiting. I was sitting.
I was transported back to my experience on the high dive last summer when I took my four-year-old son swimming at our neighbor’s house. Camden was just learning to swim without his “water wings,” and I placed him on a small ledge that was maybe two feet off the water.
I jumped into the water myself and began to coach him on how to make a big splash in the pool. As I looked in his face, I saw a familiar gaze from my little boy. He had one of those looks that said, “Dad, you must be absolutely crazy if you think I’m going to jump off this ledge into that water. I don’t have my water wings on, I just learned how to swim, and I’m going to sink right to the bottom. No way. I’m not jumping.”
I saw myself in Camden that day. I saw the eight-year-old Michael up on that high dive more than twenty years ago with a look of sheer terror on his face. Camden’s position suddenly became very familiar to me, and I had one of those experiences that I very rarely have as a father: I knew exactly what to say. I looked up at him and said, “Come on, buddy; just trust me. I’m right here. You’re going to love this. Come on, pal. You don’t know how much fun you’re going to have. Jump for Daddy. I’ll catch you.” And then Camden gave me one the most beautiful gifts a son can give his father: he jumped. He trusted me enough to jump.
Many of you are in a place similar to the one Camden was in. You are at the top of a ledge looking down at the waters of peace, but you are scared to death. The prospect of fully embracing the change that is required to live a less-stressed life is absolutely terrifying. You’re afraid. You don’t know if you can do it, and you feel like you might hit a wall that will make it impossible for you to live in the peace God has for you.
But God is calling you out. He’s calling you to surrender the old story and embrace the truth about yourself in every aspect of your life. He’s calling you to make the lifestyle choices that will lead to a peace you’ve never known. He’s saying, “Trust Me. I’ll never leave you in a situation that is too tough to bear. Trust Daddy.”
We are always afraid when faced with the prospect of leaving the comfort zone of our stress and choosing trust over fear, but the only other option is to return to the stressed-out life. If you aren’t going to abandon your comfort zone and embrace radical change, your only other choice is to go backward. I’d hate for you to return to your stress, because going backward in life always makes for a sad story.
We last left eight-year-old Dr. Mike sitting on top of the high dive. That story ends quite tragically from an eight-yearold’s perspective. Eventually I climbed back down the ladder. The taunts from the older kids were pretty tough to bear, but I was more disappointed in myself than in anything else. I had finally arrived at the coolest place at the pool, and I ended up going backward down the ladder. Now, as an adult, I know that my experience on the high dive is not all that unusual for a child. High dives are scary, especially for kids. Nonetheless, my feeling of dejection was very real, and I can’t forget how awful it felt to climb back down that ladder.
Perhaps there is a message we all can take away from my experience. It never feels good to go backward in life. You’ve worked really hard to absorb information about how to manage your stress, and you’ve implemented that information in real life. Now your job is to go forward by fully committing yourself to live out the new story in the areas of your life that scare you the most and to make the lifestyle changes you always thought you could never make.
In which relationships or environments does it frighten you to think about living the truth about you? Do you need to make any lifestyle changes that just “scare you to death”? These fears are the most significant stumbling blocks you’ll face as you attempt to embrace radical change.
For yesterday’s assignment I had you think through the areas of your life in which you need to consider embracing radical change in order to sustain the progress you’ve made with this program. Today I’ve included an exercise that will help you think about how to trust God as you adopt radical change in the environments, relationships, and lifestyle choices that frighten you the most.
ASSIGNMENT
• Complete the Confront Your Fears worksheet.
• Practice passive or active relaxation for twenty minutes.
• Log thoughts, feelings, and behavior three times a day after breakfast, after lunch, and before bedtime using the stress log.
• Complete all seven columns of the stress log and implement your personal system for managing stress when you begin to feel stressed.
CONFRONT YOUR FEARS
Look back at your answers to the Going All In worksheet from Day Eighteen. Think of the environments, situations, and relationships in which you are afraid to take risks. Write your answers in the space provided below.
Next, think of some specific ways you can trust God to help you confront your fears. In particular, think of what God would say to you if He were present in those situations and how He would respond to your fear. Remember, God is asking you to “trust Daddy.”
STRESS LOG
This stress log will help you practice becoming more aware of the emotions you experience when your stress begins. It should be completed daily beginning on Day Six of the Stress Relief for Life program. If you encounter a stressful experience during your day, fill out the entire row under the appropriate time period. If you don’t have a stressful experience, complete only the first four columns.
