One of my spiritual teachers once told me, “When you get tired of struggling, you stop. Then things change.” I had become fed up with struggling, suffering, and feeling bad. I was truly ready to find out why my life wasn’t working. I was extremely talented, but working bored me. I was making money hand over fist, yet I was still broke! All my relationships ended violently and painfully. I had friends who weren’t progressing, talents I wasn’t using. I was in debt, brokenhearted, depressed, and angry. Both of my parents were deceased, so I couldn’t turn to them. I was forced, by the luck of the draw, to take a hard, long look at myself!
One of my students recommended that I participate in a Native American purification ceremony called a “sweat.” At the time I had no idea what it was, but she assured me it would help me get in touch with myself. So, off I went to the woods to look at myself and get purified!
A sweat is a process of detoxifying the body, mind, and spirit. You are taught how to connect and commune with the earth. Rocks that have been heated on a sacred fire are placed in a pit. The pit is located inside a sacred tent structure, a lodge, which is built to resemble the womb. There were about 20 women “sweating” this day. We filed, in one by one, and took a seat on the cold, bare earth. When the structure is sealed off, it is pitch-dark and airtight. Water is then placed on the rocks and steam rises, creating a sauna-like effect in the tent. Sitting with your feet toward the pit of rocks, you pray and sing, allowing the earth to absorb the toxins you are releasing.
My prayer was to release everything that was making my life unhappy. I closed my eyes and began praying. I estimate that it was about 120 degrees in the tent. The heat had a drugging effect. The louder people prayed and sang, the lighter my head became. My eyes were closed, but I could see myself. I saw myself exactly as I was dressed, sitting on the earth with hundreds of worms crawling on me. I jumped, and my eyes flew open. I looked down at my hands and legs. There were no worms. I closed my eyes again. This time, I was myself as a little girl. It was then that the memories began to flood my mind. The abuse. The neglect. The rape. The tears. The loneliness. Scene after scene. I could feel the pain of those past experiences. I was crying, but I couldn’t get my eyes open! The scenes kept coming. The tears were flowing. It was my turn to pray aloud.
After my prayer, everybody was crying. The heat was rising. Somebody wanted to leave, so we prayed for her. When we began singing the healing songs, a cool breeze entered the lodge. I was finally able to open my eyes. Everyone was asked to pray again. This time, we all gave thanks for the healing we had received. No one knew exactly what that was, but I, for one, felt much better. When I looked down at the pit of rocks, they all had faces. The faces were smiling at me. The lodge was opened, and we began filing out. When the sunlight came into the lodge, I became aware of the hundreds of little pebbles around me. I looked down to see if I had been sitting on any. It was then I saw the piles of dead worms in the exact spot where I had been sitting.
To the African people, prayer is an essential part of each day. The Yoruba believe that it is our duty to begin each day in prayer. Prayer is communion (contact) with the Creator, through Spirit. It is a method of positive programming of the mind, body, and spirit as you seek and give thanks for life and guidance. Daily prayer means that your first contact for the day is with your own Ori (spirit), and the Creator of your Ori. Prayer releases your life force into the universe to produce the right attitudes, reactions, and results as you go about your day. Prayer sets into motion the higher laws of mind and spirit.
Everything Is a Prayer
Every thought you think, every word you speak, is a form of prayer. Why? Thoughts and words are an expression of your life force. When this force is released into the universe, your environment, it will take shape and form. How many times have you said, “You make me sick?” Notice that by the end of the day you have a headache, are nauseated, or feel exhausted. How many times have you prayed for something good for yourself—realizing, hoping, sometimes wishing something negative for someone else? Those negative thoughts and words cancel out the positive energy of prayer. Careful monitoring of your thoughts and words is required to yield positive prayer results.
Frustration, fear, disappointment, unworthiness, hate, greed, jealousy, and self stand in the way of your prayers. Very often when we pray for something, evidence that we cannot or will not get it will manifest in our lives. My grandmother always told me, “Don’t believe your lying eyes.” If it’s good for you, if it will not cause harm to you or anyone else, if you believe, then it is yours! If you pray for it today, don’t pray for the same thing tomorrow. Just give thanks, deny all evidence to the contrary, and stand firm.
Prayers are always answered. You don’t have to beg or make deals with the Creator when you pray. What you get in answer to your prayer is the direct reflection of what you expect, not necessarily what you pray for. You can pray endlessly and never see the manifestation. The challenge is to pray, knowing that you will see results. If you pray, doubting what you want is possible, you are canceling out the request. The key is to pray with faith, knowing and believing that, what you ask for, you already have!
Many people think that they do not know how to pray, or think that because they are not religious, they cannot/should not pray. This is false. Prayer is an internal experience as well as an external expression. The issue is whether or not you acknowledge that there is something/someone to pray to. If we accept that the life force of the Creator exists within our being, prayer can be seen as communication with the divine part of self. Prayer slows you down, focuses your energy, and opens the lines of purification, illumination, and union.
Prayer need not be set or fixed in any way. It can be a ritual/ceremony or a brief conversation. The words you choose can be your own, or they can be those you have been taught. Since prayer is communion, you should pray what you feel and not what you think. You can pray aloud or to yourself. You can pray standing, sitting, lying, or kneeling. The issue is to be humble. You should not fuss or give directions in prayer. You should not express negativity about or toward anything or anyone. You should not make demands or give ultimatums. You should gently express your thoughts or feelings and ask for guidance and clarity about the situation. It does not matter what you have done or whether you consider yourself religious or not—you can still pray! The divine energy of the Creator is within you. When you pray, you are in essence praying to yourself—and you already know what you have thought, said, or done. The Creator knows, too!
Affirmative Prayer
Affirmative prayer is a traditional African concept that has been reaffirmed by the New Age. Among the Yoruba, we give prayer by addressing the Creator and our Orisa (the various aspects attributed to God) by their praise names and by citing the marvels they have brought to our life. We call the names of our ancestors who now sit with the Creator and thank them for what they have left us. We thank the natural elements (air, water, fire, and earth) for the role they play in sustaining us. We praise the Creator for giving us all that we need and have. For those who are not Yoruba, this form of prayer is called praise and worship. While the ancestors and elements are not included in the Western world, the key is to praise, give thanks, and remind ourselves of all the Creator has already done.
Next, we state our request or dilemma. Speaking about it as clearly and precisely as possible without laying blame, drawing conclusions, or making demands. In prayer, it is counterproductive to pray for harm to come to anyone, or to ask for anything that will make someone else unhappy. You must ask for the best outcome and claim it by giving praise and thanksgiving. Do not negate your prayers by thinking negative thoughts about what you’ve asked for. Prayer is like planting a seed. Don’t dig it up to see how it is doing! Pray for it. Release it by giving thanks. Begin acting like you already have it!
Praising, requesting, and giving thanks are the components of affirmative prayer. It is a sign of faith that you know the best will come. Releasing our concerns to higher forces is an act of humility. If you have nothing to ask for, praise and thanksgiving are enough. If you don’t know how to express what you feel, state that and do the best you can. Again, there is no need to make promises, cut deals, or make demands! The faith that backs the prayer is the determination of the outcome. There will be occasions when you feel like you just can’t pray or meditate. Take two minutes, breathe deeply, sit still, and do it anyway! You can use the Bible, Koran, Bhagavad Gita, or any holy book you choose to get spiritual guidance and support for your prayer practice. Take a few deep breaths, place the book in the center of your forehead, and think about the situation facing you. Using your right hand, open the book to any page. Read the first seven lines on the right-hand page. Your solution will be there!
One caution about prayer: Be specific in what you ask for, and do not pray about the problem. You must pray for the desired solution. A good friend of mine was once without a place to stay. She was sleeping on the floor in a relative’s home. Everyday she prayed for just a room with a bed because she couldn’t afford anything else. After three months, she found a six-by-eight room with just enough space for a bed and her suitcase. She called me to tell me the good news. After a few minutes of conversation, she said, “I know prayer works, so I wonder why I didn’t ask for a house!”
Prayer is the key, and, with faith, it unlocks the door. Have faith. You deserve the best! Pray for it and expect it! It is yours!
Prayers for Spiritual Strength
To the Creator, whose mercy endureth forever,
I lift my voice in prayer.
To the Father spirits, whose presence
light my path, I lift my mind in prayer.
To the Mother spirits, whose love is the
source of my life, I lift my spirit in prayer.
I am thankful for the enduring and
everlasting mercy, light, and love in my life.
I know I am watched by
protective eyes, so I can never fall!
I know I am surrounded by
unconditional love, so I am never alone!
I know I am guided by clarity and strength, so I shall never lose my way.
I am Protected.
I am Guided.
I am Loved.
I am Thankful!
Dear God, please untie the nots that are
invading my mind, my heart, and my life.
Please remove the have nots, can nots, and the do nots.
Please erase the will nots, may nots, might nots.
Please release me from the could nots,
would nots, and should nots.
Most of all, dear God, I ask that you remove
from my mind, my heart, and my life all of the
am nots that I have allowed to hold me back.
— from Everyday I Pray by Iyanla Vanzant
What I Know Now
Prayer is the foundation of an intimate
relationship with the Holy Spirit of God.
Prayer is not a religious activity. It is the daily minimum
requirement for a spiritual connection to the essence of life.
We do not pray to get God to do anything. We pray to
align our consciousness with God’s presence in our life.
Every thought, every word spoken, and every action is a prayer.
Prayer Changes You, Not Things!
Dysfunction was my very first prayer partner. Desperation was my motivation for the long, pleading prayers I whispered under my bedcovers at night. I grew up in a family where nothing was what it seemed to be, and no one was who he was supposed to be. My uncle was my father. My aunt was my mother. My cousin was my sister. But wait a minute! I had a father! I knew who he was, and he frequently drove by the house I lived in with my uncle/father and aunt/mother. He usually had strange women in his car and rarely stopped to say hello. In fact, he acted as if he did not see me and did not know me. The problem was that he was married to my stepmother who, I was told, was my natural mother. She wasn’t. She sent my brother, who actually was my brother, and me to live with my aunt and uncle when we were evicted from our apartment. It was confusing then. It is heart-wrenching now. Thinking back, it seems absolutely amazing that I went along with the stories, the lies, when all along I knew the truth.
The stress of my childhood caused my hair to fall out. I am not speaking of short, broken hair that could be camouflaged with creative combing or decorative hair ribbons. I am speaking of baby-butt bald at the temples, in the back, and at the top of my head. Every night I desperately prayed for my hair to grow. I was nine years old, with a flat chest, a protruding belly, and mocking-bird-thin legs. My aunt’s answer to my prayer was to buy, and convince me to wear, a lovely auburn page-boy wig. The wig was bad enough, but the frequent treatments of Sulphur 8, a hair pomade that was guaranteed to make hair grow, was worse. It emitted a smelly, hot tar odor from beneath my wig. The first day I wore my new hair to school, my classmates snickered and pointed. My teacher, Ms. Cohen, asked me if my mother knew that my hair was red. I told her it wasn’t my hair, and she actually seemed surprised. By the end of the week, the older kids were threatening to pull the wig off and beat it with a stick. Some of the kids called my wig a rat, some called it a Davy Crockett hat. It was also the reason my brother had three fights in two days. All I could do was pray: Dear God, please let my hair grow. Please don’t let anyone pull my wig off. Please make my daddy stop and pick me up. Please God, just let me die.
Desperation is a very common motivator for prayer. We find ourselves in a desperate situation or with an overwhelming need, and we implore God or some other sacred being to save us, help us, make things better. What I know now is that the desperate utterances we issue in pain and fear are not prayers. They are a form of spiritual begging that generally yields little more than temporary relief, only because we have voiced our dismay. Prayer, effective prayer, is not a plea for things or relief from anything. True prayer is heartfelt, honest communication with no strings attached. It is the respectful, reverent recognition of the essence of God that is at all times, in all places, present in its fullness. Prayer is the process and manner in which we make a conscious connection to the essence we know as God or Spirit. When we pray, we are bringing our conscious awareness into alignment with the truth that God is right where we are. God’s love, grace, mercy, and divine intelligence surrounds us regardless of appearances to the contrary. In God’s presence there are no needs. There is only love. Prayer is the way we remind ourselves that God loves us and stands by our side in all circumstances and situations.
When the pressures of life get the best of us, we turn to prayer. When we reach the limits of our human comprehension and ability, we resort to prayer. When people get on our nerves or trigger our unresolved issues, or when situations appear to be disappointing, frightening, or too difficult, we use prayer as a possible escape route. Many of us ascribe to the belief that there is a being, a “god,” sitting somewhere, listening in, and ever ready to respond to our pleas and demands to fix this or do that so that we can bypass taking responsibility for the circumstances in which we find ourselves. We believe this kind of god is at our beck and call to do what we think needs to be done in the way we think it should happen. We use prayer as our calling card to summon divine intervention, to save our butts, and to get others to do what we want them to do. Prayer used in this way, for these purposes, is a sign of spiritual immaturity. It was this type of prayer that I prayed as a wig-wearing nine-year-old, fearful of having her balding head exposed on the streets of Brooklyn, New York. As the other children continued to harass and tease me, I concluded that my prayers were not being heard, and I was really angry with God.
My best good girlfriend in elementary school was Nancy. She lived around the corner from my house, and we walked home together every day. Back then, she was what we would now call a geek. She was quiet, not particularly attractive, with thick glasses and shoulder-length hair. Nancy was considered suspect because of her association with me. She, too, became the object of the vicious taunts by the other children. I was afraid of being de-wigged. Nancy was afraid of her own shadow. Each day as three o’clock rolled around, we would plan our escape, devising creative ways to make it across the school yard and up the three blocks we had to walk to get home. Every day, we would take different routes in our attempts to escape the looming danger of our tormentors. One day, we walked four blocks out of our way, only to run into a group of girls whom my aunt always referred to as “those people from the projects.” We saw them and crossed the street. But they saw us and it was on!
Five or six of them surrounded us, reminding us that my brother was not around now to protect us. They circled, calling us names, using words that we “good girls” heard only from drunken relatives and, as my aunt said, “those other kind of people.” They began pushing us with their equally flat chests, preparing to do what they had heretofore only threatened—take my wig and break Nancy’s glasses. When one of them reached over the other and grabbed my store-bought hair, Nancy completely lost it! I would like to think she was just a good friend protecting me, but the truth was that she was simply afraid she would be next. Nancy let out an ear-piercing scream that frightened everyone. She began to swing wildly, hissing and spitting. A few of the girls swore and started laughing, but most of the others backed up. Nancy would not stop. She swung her book bag at every target in sight. She was kicking and punching into the air so that no one could come within six feet of her. The girl who was dragging me by the hair let go to avoid getting hit, kicked, or spit on. In the midst of this, I realized that my prayers had been answered: M y wig was still in place, secured by the huge hairpins that my aunt put in every morning.
A crowd had gathered now, their voices drowning out Nancy’s screaming. When I got to her, Nancy was on the ground still kicking and screaming, fighting no one but herself. Some of the children were laughing; others stared in amazement. In her frenzy, one of Nancy’s kicks landed on my shin, and I fell on top of her. For a minute or two we tussled on the ground until she fell limp. Both of us were crying; when the crowd fell silent, I thought they were feeling sorry for us. But suddenly the circle parted. My brother and a few of his friends were standing over us, yelling and making threatening gestures at the crowd of onlookers. One of my brother’s friends reached down and repositioned my skirt so that my panties were no longer exposed. Someone else detangled Nancy and me, helping us to our feet. As we made our way through the crowd, I realized that not only was my wig still in place, Nancy still had her glasses on.
Praying for Answers Is an Answer
Prayer—fervent and effectual prayer—raises the vibration of your mental and emotional energy, making it possible for you to see, know, and do what once may have seemed impossible. Prayer opens your mind to the answers and solutions that have always been present. When we pray, it opens our minds to the divine presence and consciousness of God. We experience a sense of peace and resolve that, more often than not, leads to physical inaction because we gain a sense of knowing that, despite appearances, all is well. This sense of well-being does not come because we expect God to do anything. It is the result of an internal connection to God’s presence and the realization that we are not in charge of anything or anyone. The peaceful stillness that results when we pray without fear, expectations, or a predisposition to a specific outcome has nothing to do with God’s ability or inclination to save, support, or rescue us. It is a function of alignment. When our consciousness is energetically aligned with the law, principles, and spiritual essence that we refer to as God, all things are possible. Prayer is not the fix-all, do-all practice that many of us have been taught it is. It is a process of communication with the essence of God within each of us; it stills the mind and heart, enabling our internal spiritual authority to control the frantic ranting of the mind. When the mind is still, Spirit prevails.
If you pray for something and you do not see the answer, consider the following: (1) Is what you want good for you? (2) Will you or anyone else be hurt by your having it? (3) Are you ready for the responsibility of having it? If you can answer these questions affirmatively, and the answer to your prayer has not manifested, the issue is probably patience.
What I know now is that for most of my life I prayed according to beliefs about God that were given to me by other people. I had no concept of God as the essence of my being. Instead I prayed to an all-powerful, external God who performed miraculous feats and healed broken people. I wanted that God to fix me, to change circumstances, people, and situations in a manner that would decrease my mental or emotional discomfort, and thereby provide me with a sense of safety and security. I now understand that the spirit of God is within me, and when I pray I am surrendering the demands of my human will to the presence of divine will. The will of God is that we experience and express love. I also realize that because God exists within the very essence of my being, every thought I think, every word I speak, and every action I take is a prayer. Prayer is a form of communication. This means that my very living must be a demonstration of what I know and believe to be true about God. My life is an opportunity and a divine calling for me to express, in all of my affairs and interactions, what I know to be the character and nature of God. Because God is within me and everyone else, it is my spiritual responsibility to demonstrate the active presence of God’s love to everyone in all situations and under all circumstances. This makes prayer a state of being rather than a situational practice.
I, like you, am human, and I will be the first to say it is not easy to remember that the presence of God is within and that my life is an act of prayer. We all have sensibilities, foibles, and weaknesses that motivate us to speak harshly, behave inappropriately, and fight to resist the urge to slap the taste out of the mouths of others who also have foibles, weaknesses, and bad behaviors. This is where your daily spiritual practice becomes useful. The more you pray, the more you communicate with the divine within, the less likely you are to succumb to the demands of your animal nature. Prayer is the answer that causes you to change on the inside, which in turn governs how you respond to what occurs outside of you.
What I know now is that the people who hurt me, betrayed me, and disappointed me did not change. My prayers for spiritual clarity, peace of mind, and the desire to be pleasing in my service to God changed how I viewed myself, my life, and the others who come to share the experience of living with me. Once I dropped my internal demands, requirements, expectations, and judgments of how things and people should be, the way in which I viewed and interacted with the world around me shifted. I looked for what I could love, rather than what I or someone else lacked. Prayer—constant, consistent communication with the presence of God within you—will open your heart, your mind, and your spiritual eyes to the perfection that already exists. Prayer is the path to the realization that we need not perfect what God has created. On the seventh day of creation, God said, “It is good.” It still is. We still are.
Prayer Works Through an Open Heart
With all things in life, we do not get what we ask for, we get what we expect. Expectation is a powerful tool of reality creation; it is the essence of our thoughts fueled by emotions, and it manifests as a demonstration of the mental images we project out into the world. Our mental images attract in kind. What we see in our mind, we will experience in our lives. When we expect to be hurt, betrayed, disappointed, denied, abandoned, or rejected, no amount of prayer will circumvent those expectations. Praying that Boo-Boo does not leave you for someone else, or that you get the job you do not believe you are qualified to get, or that you can pay your bills after you have spent your money frivolously will not change the experience. Prayer does not alter a conscious mis alignment with your desires. What prayer can and will do is bring your subconscious and conscious mind into alignment with the right thought, right action, and right response to whatever circumstances you face in the moment. Nancy could not see anything loving about the crowd of girls who surrounded us. In our spiritually immature minds, it appeared that God was not present enough or powerful enough to overcome the crowd’s desire to embarrass me and cause Nancy harm. We expected to be beaten down and beaten up. Perhaps our many trips to Sunday school and my prayers to the Virgin Mary had some impact. Perhaps not. What we both needed to do was work through our fears. My wig was securely pinned in place, and Nancy was stronger than she ever realized. It wasn’t pretty, but I can see how it was the most appropriate response in the moment. We had to go through it in order to realize that we could overcome it. Those girls never approached us again. In fact, one of them became very close to Nancy and me.
Many people pray as a last resort, after their human efforts have failed to yield the desired results. Others pray with a limited expectation that what they desire is possible or even plausible. What I know now is that an overwhelming majority of people pray from an internal experience of shame, guilt, resentment, anger, and fear, bringing God into the process after what they have done is less than successful. They pray, believing they do not deserve what they desire. That belief nullifies the energy of their prayers. People sometimes pray for rescue, relief, or retribution. They pray, believing something or someone is standing in the way of the outcome for which they are praying. Holding on to judgment or blame about anyone eliminates the miraculous possibilities that can unfold as a result of prayer.
Prayer can only be truly effective when we have an open heart, an open mind, and a willingness to move through the circumstances and events with a loving and peaceful essence. An open heart means that we hold no malice or negative expectations of anyone. An open mind means that we are not dictating or demanding how things and people should or must be. Willingness means surrendering control, knowing that no matter the outcome, you will be just fine. By holding on to memories or projecting onto the future expectations that cloud or color the realm of possibility, you short-circuit the essence and impact of your prayers. Remember, God is within, so when you pray with a closed, clouded heart or mind, you will create or re-create what you expect. You cannot fool Mother Nature, that loving presence of God within you. She knows everything about you, and she hears you from the inside out.
On any given day, in any given city, on any given street or highway, you may pass an automobile accident. Many people slow down and gawk with amazement. When I pass an accident, I pray, “Dear God, let the fullness of your presence be with everyone here. Let them remember your love.” I do not remember every prayer I pray, but those that open my heart and mind to the love of God usually leave a lasting impression on me. On September 11, 2001, I was standing half naked in my dressing room at the CBS studios in New York City. As I watched the video feed streaming into the newsroom from the cameras on location, I saw the second plane hit the second tower. Smoke billowed into the sky and I prayed: “Dear God, Your grace is our sufficiency. The power of your love is now moving through every mind, every body, every soul present and watching this experience. Make us all instruments of your peace. Help us, Lord, to remember that you are our light and our salvation.”
Then I cried. I cried at the realization of the horror that humans can inflict on one another when we forget our relationship to God. I cried because I knew that God loves everyone, even those who behave horrifically. Very often, when we are faced with experiences and situations in which we feel helpless or hopeless, we fall into the trap of our human limitations. What I know now is that those are the moments in which we must pray. When we are watching the horrors of the nightly news, we must pray. When we hear about or witness any form of human suffering, we must pray. Prayer not only opens our minds to the possibilities and presence of God’s grace, it keeps us from falling into the pit of despair. What I know now is that as a human being, prayer is my responsibility to all other human beings. As a woman, mother, and wife, prayer is my commitment to all other women, mothers, and wives. Prayer is my gift to the world as a demonstration and representation of God’s presence.
“The Work”—Byron Katie
In recent years I have been blessed and my prayers have been intensified by a process called “The Work,” created by a woman named Byron Katie. In her book Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life, she teaches a simple process of asking four questions that will engage the consciousness beyond biases, limited expectations, judgments, and expectations bringing the heart and mind to the realization of the presence and love of God in every situation. The first two questions say it all for me: (1) Is that true? (2) Can you absolutely know beyond a reasonable doubt that it is true?
Regardless of the situation or circumstances we face, we must remember the truth. The truth is that God is always present, loving us, and seeking our highest good. Every situation is an opportunity for us to learn and grow in the experience and expression of God’s love. When we judge others or ourselves, when we limit the possibilities to what we know and believe, when we lace our prayers with “coulds,” “shoulds,” and “must bes,” we are not broadcasting the truth; we are standing in the way of God’s ultimate wisdom and presence. The Work teaches how to disengage from our mental and emotional judgments in order to see, know, and remember the truth. When we pray, we must pray for truth to be known, revealed, and activated, even when the truth is beyond our limited knowledge and expectations.
The remaining two questions of The Work are these: (3) How do you react when you think that thought? (4) Who would you be without that thought? These two questions demonstrate that all thoughts, even when they are not true, have an impact on our state of mind. Without certain thoughts, we are open to seeing and experiencing every situation in a more loving and productive way. Prayer requires that we are willing to see everything and everyone in a different light.
As a student in high school and college, I hated math. It is probably more accurate to say that I was afraid of math. I could never seem to get the numbers to do what I thought they should do. Eventually, I came to the understanding that math is a principle-based science. If you learn and apply the correct formulas, you will inevitably arrive at an accurate answer. Prayer is a sort of new math. It requires you to divide your thoughts, emotions, beliefs, habits, judgments, choices, and decisions into two columns: those that are loving, and those that are not. In the process, you will become aware of the thoughts you have adopted that may or may not have anything to do with what is actually going on in a specific situation.
Once we learn the principles of division, we move on to subtraction. The process is simple: Subtract from your thoughts those things that are unnecessary and unproductive; surrender everything that could be harmful to yourself or another; eliminate every thought or emotion that does not bring more peace, joy, or love into the experience. From there you will begin to add useful, productive, and desirable experiences that do not harm or limit anyone else’s right to choose the same for themselves. Along the way, you keep a running tally of what is working in your life; what brings you peace, joy, and the exponential increase of your self-value and self-worth. For those things, you pray in gratitude. Focus your thoughts, attention, and intentions on those things. Ask that they be magnified, and that anything in your own heart, mind, and life that blocks, delays, hinders, or denies a fuller experience and expression of your Highest Most Holy Self be eradicated from your mind and heart, easily and gently, while you are asleep.
Act “As If” the Prayer Is Already Answered
What I know now is that life really intends for us to succeed in everything good. I also know that life will lead us to things and people who support our success. Several years ago while shopping in the Dallas airport waiting for a connecting flight, I was literally attacked by a book. I assumed that the book fell off a shelf and hit me in the head. The store clerk was so hysterical, thinking I might sue, that he gave me the book at no cost. The title of the book was Too Busy Not to Pray by Rev. Dr. Bill Hybels. I devoured the contents of that book on my flight to Los Angeles.
Dr. Hybels wrote about a very simple process of keeping a daily prayer journal, which is something I had always done. He encouraged readers to write just one page of prayer a day, using a very specific formula. He called it “ACTS”: Affirmation, Confession, Thanksgiving, and Supplication. Affirmation is the process of stating the truth we know about God and life. Certain spiritual philosophies encourage us to affirm what we want and to deny those things that we do not desire to have or experience. (We will cover this more specifically in Chapter 8.) Think of affirmation as the sacred, reverent, and respectful acknowledgment of God’s presence. Confession means acknowledging those things about yourself and your life that you know are not in alignment with the essence and nature of God. Thanksgiving is the heartfelt expression of gratitude for all that you are and have. If you think about it, you will see that the good far outweighs the not so good. Finally, supplication is the act and art of laying your requests before God. It is so much more than asking for things. It means stating your desires and needs and allowing the results to unfold and manifest in the most loving way possible.
The teachings of this book spoke to me in a way that altered my prayer habits and my relationship with the presence of God within me. With the intention of supporting you in reconsidering the role and practice of prayer in your life, I offer you my very first ACTS prayer from the prayer journal I started in 1996.
Affirmative ACTS Prayer
Affirmation
Good Morning, God!
I love you today. I love how You love me and call me each
morning into a state of deeper awakening and knowledge of You.
I love how You allow me to breathe and move and
live withoutexpecting or demanding anything in return.
I love how You continue to provide me with every breath,
the total functioning of my body, the ability to choose and
change at a moment’s notice whatever I think or feel or do.
You are awesome, God, and I love that about You.
I love the sight of You in the trees and flowers. I love the presence of
You in my children’s laughter and my sweetie’s eyes. I love the joy of
You in my heart, which gives me the courage, the strength, and
the stamina to move through whatever the day may bring.
Confession
Now God, I confess that yesterday I ran amuck! I did not demonstrate
love at every opportunity. I allowed myself to be lulled into gossip
and unkind speaking without self-correcting or offering correction to
others. I stood in judgment of my husband, and when I thought he was
getting the upper hand, I told a lie. I confess that I was complaining
about things that I know I need to handle so that my life will be in
order. I confess that there were moments when I was trying to out-God
You, offering my unsolicited advice to others when I have enough of my
own affairs to manage. I confess that yesterday my humanness was in
control and that I eased You out of the process. I confess that to You now,
asking for a closer walk with Your Holy Spirit this day.
Thanksgiving
Today, I just want to thank you, God, for being an understanding
and forgiving God. I thank You for reminding me moment by
moment that my only task to is grow in You. This is my purpose,
my joy, my life assignment. Thank you, God, for giving me a healthy
appetite for more peaceful interactions, more joyful activities, and a
greater discernment of what is or is not pleasing to You. Thank you,
God, for my health and my strength and for the health and strength
of my family. Thank you, God, for opening my eyes to see the
places within me that are still broken, wounded, and out of order.
Thank you for the courage to acknowledge them, and the willingness
to heal them. Thank you for my home, the people who love me,
and all the ways that demonstrate to me that You are still and
will always be on my side. Thank you, God, for having my
back at all times, in all circumstances and situations.
Supplication
Today, God, I ask for a closer walk with You. I ask that You guide
and lead me away from the mistakes I made yesterday. Today,
I ask that at every moment I remain conscious, aware, and aligned
with Your Holy Spirit so that I may demonstrate to others the fruits
of a close relationship with You. Today, I ask for a greater experience
and a deeper expression of Your spiritual authority within me. Bless
my eyes that I may see all things. Bless my ears that I may hear Your
words and desires in every situation. Bless my mind that I may think
about You, Your will, and Your word before I open my mouth. Help
me today, God, so that I may be of greater service to You. For all
I have received and all that is yet to come, I say yea, God!
Thank you, God! Bless me, God, so that I may be a blessing to others.
And so it is!