CHAPTER 2
Who’s in Charge?
When a train goes through a tunnel and it gets dark, you don’t throw away the ticket and jump off. You sit still and trust the engineer.
—Corrie ten Boom
There are few things in life more stressful than thinking, It’s all up to me.
It’s up to me to make sure my children turn out great.
It’s up to me to keep the house clean and tidy all the time.
It’s up to me to figure out my future.
It’s up to me to pay for my past mistakes.
It’s up to me to provide all the things my children want.
It’s up to me to change my spouse.
It’s up to me to correct my coworkers.
It’s up to me… It’s up to me… It’s up to me!
Whew! My stress levels started rising just writing those sentences. But that’s how we live much of the time, isn’t it? We assume that if something is going to get done, we have to be the ones in control. We say things like, “Just give it to me, and I’ll do it!” or “I’ll take it from here!” or “If I want something done right, I guess I have to do it myself!”
The problem with this mind-set is that it doesn’t leave any room for God. The moment we begin to think I’m in control rather than trusting that God is in control is the moment stress has an opening in our lives. I understand there are times in life when we have to take decisive action. I’m not suggesting you sit back and do nothing. At work, with your family, around your friends—there are going to be plenty of opportunities for you to step up and boldly lead. We invite stress into our lives, not when we take right action, but when we try to take control.
God is good, and it is His desire that we place our trust completely in Him. He wants us to enter His rest, totally abandoning ourselves to His care. When we are able to believe and say, “God, I trust You,” anxiety melts away. Psalm 37:3 says, “Trust (lean on, rely on, and be confident) in the Lord and do good.” It’s really that simple. When we make the daily decision to trust God’s leadership while doing the good things we know to do, then He’ll bring a harvest of blessings into our lives and meet our every need.
So let me ask you: Who has control of your life? Who do you trust to plan your future? Who do you rely on to set your course? Who do you depend on to provide what you need even when the need seems overwhelming? The answers to those questions go a long way in determining what kind of life you’re going to live, overloaded or overcoming. Anytime we don’t keep God first, life gets messy and we get stressed out.
Road Trip!
A friend recently told me about a trip he took with his family. They traveled, by car, halfway across the country over a span of three days. The route he chose took them through mountainous regions, around bustling cities, and down long stretches of major highways. While he and his wife consulted their GPS, planned gas and meal stops, navigated through heavy traffic, and budgeted the travel expenses, he noticed his children were having the time of their lives in the backseat.
With each glance in his rearview mirror, he was struck by the kids’ carefree attitude. They spent the trip watching movies on the computer, playing games on his wife’s tablet, telling each other silly jokes, snacking from the fully stocked family cooler, enjoying travel games, and napping whenever they felt like it. When he saw how content and peaceful they were, he couldn’t help but think, Now that’s the life!
The picture of his children relaxing and enjoying the journey reminded my friend of how we can go through life as believers, content and carefree. He told me, “Joyce, my kids just trusted that I was in control. They knew I would get them to their destination safely. They didn’t worry about how we’d pay for the trip, what the best route to take was, or how the car was running. I took care of all those things. Their job was simple: they just sat back, did what I asked them to do, and enjoyed the journey.”
I think our lives would be much less stressful if we were more like those children. No wonder Jesus said we should have childlike faith (see Matthew 18:1–5). Those kids didn’t try to take over the planning of the trip. They didn’t ask to drive for a few miles. And they certainly didn’t complain about the direction they were traveling. During the entire trip, they were content to let their father have control, because they trusted that he had a great plan.
This is how we can live out the journey of our lives. Rather than stress and worry about the direction we think we’re headed in, rather than get upset when the road seems difficult, rather than wonder why it’s taking so long—we can trust our Heavenly Father. We can let go of the steering wheel and turn it over to God, trusting that He has a great plan for our lives.
I have a strong personality, and I like to make decisions and work hard to accomplish my goals, but I understand that God is the one who sets the course for my life. It took me a long time to fully reach this place of peace, but thankfully, I’ve finally submitted my entire life to Him. So when a decision or an opportunity arises, I go to God first, asking Him if this is something He wants me to do. If I don’t have peace about it, I don’t do it. I can tell you, there have been numerous times I initially thought something was a good idea, but I didn’t have peace about it when I prayed, so I let it go. And I was glad each time I did, because I discovered later that I would have been miserable had I accepted the task. The quickest way to peace is learning to submit every decision in your life to God. Stress has no say in your life when God is in control.
I Can’t Do It Without You
In Exodus 33, Moses is praying to God and he makes a rather direct (almost demanding) statement to the Lord. I suppose it was something he felt so strongly that he couldn’t help but just blurt it out, hoping God would understand. Have you ever had a prayer like that? A prayer that was so desperate you didn’t really take time to make it sound pretty, you just cried out to the Lord, trusting He would understand? (Hint: Sometimes those are the best kind of prayers.) If you have, you know how Moses felt, because that is exactly how he prayed.
This was a tough time for Moses and the children of Israel. In the previous chapter, the people had rebelled while Moses was meeting with God on Mount Sinai. Instead of waiting for Moses to return and tell them all the Lord had spoken, the people grew impatient and decided to fashion a golden calf to worship. The entire community, including Moses’ brother, Aaron, had disobeyed God and suffered difficult consequences for worshipping at the altar of a false image.
So now, in chapter 33, God instructs Moses to pack up camp and continue the voyage to the Promised Land. God said in verse 1: “Depart, go up from here, you and the people whom you have brought from the land of Egypt, to the land which I swore to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.” This sounds like good news, right? The journey was going to continue; God would once again be leading the children of Israel to their promised inheritance.
But there was a problem. God didn’t intend to go with Moses and the people. They would be traveling on their own. The Lord told Moses:
“Go up to a land flowing with milk and honey; but I will not go up among you, for you are a stiff-necked people, lest I destroy you on the way.”
Exodus 33:3 (emphasis added)
At this moment, Moses had a decision to make. And this was a decision that carried high stakes. It would affect his future and the future of every person in the camp. Here were his options:
Option #1: Moses could trust in his own proven leadership ability and take over. He could charge forward, making the decisions and calling the shots. After all, Moses was born to be a leader. He knew how to make important decisions in the most crucial moments. This was his chance to be in charge!
Option #2: Moses could understand that if God wasn’t leading them, neither he nor the children of Israel stood a chance. Why go anywhere if God wasn’t going to go with them? Rather than moving, he could humbly, but boldly, ask God to forgive the people and take control of the journey.
Moses didn’t hesitate in making his choice. In Exodus 33:15, Moses emphatically declares: “If Your Presence does not go with me, do not carry us up from here!” Did you notice the exclamation point at the end of that sentence? With all his energy, Moses basically said, Lord, I’m not going anywhere without You!
I love this bold statement by Israel’s leader. Moses understood that he wasn’t really the leader at all. Sure, God had given him responsibilities. And, yes, Moses had a part to play in the journey God had called the Israelites to take. But Moses understood that God was their leader—God was the one in control. And Moses knew that, without God, they would have no lasting success on their own. So Moses loudly proclaimed, “I’m not going anywhere without Your leadership, God.”
The circumstances are different, but the options Moses faced are the same options you and I face today. When met with a dilemma or when pondering a decision, we can trust in our own ability to handle the situation, or we can trust God’s leadership and ask Him to take control. And like Moses, the choice we make carries significant ramifications. If you go through life with the mind-set of “It’s all up to me,” you’re going to live under the constant stress and worry that comes with dependence on self. But if you embrace a mind-set that understands “It’s all up to God,” you’re going to be able to enjoy your life and go through each day stress-free.
So the question remains: Who is in control? Are you going to take Option #1 and carry the weight of the world on your own shoulders, or are you going to follow Moses’ example and choose Option #2, asking God to take control? The choice is up to you.
I remember when I was led by God to quit my job and spend time preparing for the teaching ministry God wanted me to pursue. We were going to be a little short each month of having enough money to pay our bills, and needless to say, I was very worried. I was so worried and afraid that at times my knees felt as if they would buckle underneath me and I would fall to the floor. On one particular day, I heard God whisper to my heart, “Joyce, you can try and do all of this by yourself, or you can trust Me to provide; it is up to you.” I stopped right where I was and said, “I choose to trust You, Lord.” I am happy to report that God was faithful and all the bills were always paid.
Quiz Time
Many people have been depending on themselves for so long (rather than depending on God) that they don’t even realize they’re doing it. Self-reliance can be the result of many different things. Some people begin depending on themselves as children because their parents are absent, dysfunctional, or abusive. Other people begin depending on themselves later in life when a spouse betrays them or leaves them. A lot of people just have such a strong personality that they’ve always tended to trust in their own abilities rather than looking to God first. And many others don’t even know that trusting God with their lives is an option available to them.
Whatever the reason, I think we’ve established that your life will have so much more peace and happiness when you give God control. Proverbs 3:5 says it this way: “Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding” (emphasis added). So, if you’re not sure whether you’re “leaning on the Lord” or “leaning on your own understanding,” here is a little quiz that might help you figure it out:
The Control Quiz:
1. When faced with unexpected bad news, what is your first thought?
a. How can I fix this?
b. Oh, no. Here we go again!
c. God isn’t surprised by this news. He can work this out for good.
2. When talking about your future, are you more likely to begin a sentence by saying,
a. “I don’t have many options, but…”
b. “If I work hard enough, I can…”
c. “I know God has a great plan for me, so…”
3. When someone says something bad about you, are you more inclined to…
a. return the favor
b. ignore it (but remember how they hurt you)
c. pray for that person, trusting God to defend you
4. If your kids are having trouble at school, do you…
a. blame yourself for your parenting failures
b. meet with the teacher
c. ask God for wisdom and insight and then meet with the teacher
a. Preparing yourself for the day
b. Checking social media to see what others are saying
c. Spending time with the Lord
This little “quiz” isn’t meant to make you feel guilty if you discovered that you are not depending on God like you should. I just want to help you see how easy it is to fall into the trap of depending on self and thinking, It’s up to me! That is such a stressful way to live—God has something so much better for you.
Several of the options listed above aren’t necessarily bad or wrong, but they fall short of God’s best. In each situation above, option “c” is an indicator that you’re trusting God with control of your life. If options “a” or “b” best describe you, don’t be discouraged. For many years, they described me, too. But with God’s help, we can move from dependence on self to dependence on God. Simply start by asking God to show you each time you’re trying to take over, rather than trusting Him. Normally, if I am trying to face a challenge in my own strength, I start to feel tense and that is an indicator to me that I need to ask for God’s help.
I suggest you take a few moments each day to pray something like this: “Lord, I trust You with the direction of my life, and I give You control today. I’ll do my part, and I’ll work diligently as You guide me, but I won’t receive the stress that comes from thinking I have to have all the answers. I know You have the answers, and I believe You will guide me to do what is right. I trust that You have a great plan for my life.”
As we close this chapter, I want to share one last thing from Moses’ story. After Moses prayed his bold prayer in verse 15, God answered him. God wasn’t mad or offended by Moses’ boldness. In fact, the opposite was true. God was pleased that Moses didn’t want to go anywhere without His leadership. In Exodus 33:17, God responded to Moses by saying, “I will do this thing also that you have asked, for you have found favor, loving-kindness, and mercy in My sight and I know you personally and by name.”
I want you to know that God feels the same way about you. God is not angry with you today. Like Moses, you, too, have “found favor, loving-kindness, and mercy” in God’s sight, and He knows “you personally by name.” So the next time you’re faced with a stressful situation or a difficult decision, don’t carry that burden by yourself. Go to God and ask Him to take control. He won’t hesitate to answer you and show you the right path to take. You may need to be patient, but God is always faithful!
Things to Remember:
There are few things in life more stressful than thinking, It’s all up to me!
God is good, and it is His desire that we place our trust completely in Him. He wants us to enter His rest, totally abandoning ourselves to His care.
Every day we face two options: I trust myself or I trust God.
Trusting God with your life doesn’t mean you have no responsibilities or you don’t make any decisions. It simply means that you submit each responsibility and decision to Him.
You have found favor, loving-kindness, and mercy with God. He knows you personally by name!
Did you know?
Oil of anise, basil, bay, chamomile, eucalyptus, lavender, peppermint, rose, and thyme are all soothing scents that can help decrease stress levels.1