CHAPTER 6
Did You Forget Something?
It’s not the situation, but whether we react negative or respond positive to the situation that is important.
—Zig Ziglar
Can I tell you something about myself that not everyone knows? I’m not particularly good with noises. The truth is, certain noises can really stress me out! If there is an annoying squeak in the car or if my refrigerator rattles when the motor comes on, it really annoys me. My first reaction is, We need to get that fixed… now! Do you know what I mean? Are you like that, too? For some reason, I just get easily annoyed and frustrated by obnoxious, repetitive noises.
Well, as you can imagine, this makes things interesting when I’m on the road. I travel a lot, preaching the Word nationally and internationally, and it seems that every new hotel has some new noise to test my patience. Sometimes it’s a thumping air conditioner, other times it’s a dripping faucet or a running toilet, and a lot of times it’s other guests talking loudly in the hallway in the middle of the night. I’ve gotten better at dealing with it, but these things tend to really bother me.
I remember one time in particular that was especially bad. The hotel where we were staying had an incredibly loud truck that would pull up right outside my window first thing each morning. I don’t know what kind of truck it was—a garbage truck or maybe a delivery truck—but when it backed up, it made that loud BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP sound. Normally, this would be enough to push me over the edge. It was so loud! How in the world was I supposed to get any rest?
But something different happened on this particular trip. In the middle of the obnoxious BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP that woke me up, I heard another sound. It was much quieter, but I could make it out very clearly—birds were singing. The truck didn’t bother them; they were chirping away. I remember thinking, I’m going to focus on the beauty of those birds singing rather than that truck beeping.
It sounds like a little thing, I know, but I just decided to shift my focus from what was bothersome to what was beautiful. And you know what? It changed my entire outlook on the situation. I didn’t get frustrated. I didn’t lose my temper and think, Can’t someone make that truck leave? Why do these things always happen to me?!? Instead, I had a different mind-set. I thought, If those birds can have joy in the middle of all the noise, I guess I can, too!
Of course, the singing birds didn’t drown out the noise of the truck. I could still hear the distracting clamor outside my window. But now I had a completely different outlook, because my focus had shifted. Rather than obsessing on the loud and the loathsome around me, I chose to hear the lovely instead. And it made all the difference in the world. It wasn’t too long before the truck left, and I felt I had a huge victory because with God’s help, I didn’t get frustrated.
The Cure Many People Overlook
I tell you that story because what you focus on will often determine your stress level. One of the biggest causes of stress is focusing on the negative things that are happening around us and allowing those things to fill our hearts with frustration, fear, or anxiety.
Many people get so consumed with what is going wrong they can’t see anything else—their full attention is given solely to their problem. Other people they know experience challenges also, but they are convinced their problems are more difficult than anyone else’s. They are consumed with their own problems and make them the priority in their lives. If the sink backs up, their day is ruined. If the car starts to idle funny, they go into a panic. If their child gets a poor grade at school, they question every parenting decision they’ve ever made. Do you see what’s happening? They’re focusing on the negative, and that focus is filling them with frustration and despair.
There is rarely a day that goes by that is without some kind of challenge. If I focus on everything that is wrong, I can ruin my day. I spent many years of my life focusing on the wrong things. I was rarely happy in those days; it was like I was expecting something to go wrong just so I would have an excuse to get mad. Looking back on it, it amazes me how I used to lose my joy over some of the dumbest things. If someone was rude to me in line, if Dave stayed too late at the golf course, if a restaurant messed up my order—even the smallest “problems” or inconveniences of life would send my stress levels soaring.
Thankfully, the Lord began to teach me how to set my attention on the good things in my life. I began to realize that the more time I spent obsessing about the things I was unhappy about, the more power I gave to those things. With God’s help, I began to see that I didn’t have to let daily problems or inconveniences determine my happiness (or lack of happiness) any longer. When I began to take time each day to focus on God’s goodness and His blessings in my life, my perspective changed, my attitude improved, and my joy increased like never before! Just this morning I wrote down several things in my journal that I am thankful for. I find that if I purpose to look for good things and make a big deal out of them, it keeps me from focusing on the negative things.
It’s really pretty simple: If focusing on what is going wrong is a cause of stress, naturally a cure for stress is to focus on what is right. When we look at the positive things that God has placed in our lives, it gives us a sense of perspective, stability, thankfulness, and balance. And all four of those things (perspective, stability, thankfulness, and balance) are remedies for stress. It is wise and healthy to hold on to the good things in your life and let the negative, stressful things fall by the wayside.
The Word of God has much to say when it comes to focusing on the positive rather than the negative. Here are a few verses that remind us that we can choose to set our sights on God’s best. The author of Hebrews wrote:
Fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith.
Hebrews 12:2 (NIV; emphasis added)
In his letter to the church in Colossae, the apostle Paul wrote:
And set your minds and keep them set on what is above (the higher things), not on the things that are on the earth.
Colossians 3:2 (emphasis added)
And I especially love what Paul said in the book of Philippians:
Whatever is true, whatever is worthy of reverence and is honorable and seemly, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely and lovable, whatever is kind and winsome and gracious, if there is any virtue and excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think on and weigh and take account of these things [fix your minds on them].
Philippians 4:8 (emphasis added)
Notice that Paul doesn’t say we should just occasionally think about the good things—he says we are to “fix our minds on them.” That means each and every day, we should take the opportunity to think about what we are thinking about. Rather than dwell on all that is going wrong, we can choose to dwell on all that is going right!
What you think about—what you focus on—is going to affect how you see life. If you’ll determine to focus on God’s goodness and His promises that are true, pure, lovely, kind, and gracious, you won’t succumb to the bullying behavior and tactics of stress. When others are frustrated, discouraged, and fed up with their lives, you’ll have a totally different attitude. No matter what happens during the course of your day, you’ll be able to trust God and respond differently than you used to. You won’t be panicked; you’ll be peaceful! You won’t be overloaded; you’ll be overjoyed! That’s what happens when you choose to focus on the good things God has done and is doing on your behalf. You will also be able to encourage those who are focused on negatives. When God gives us His grace to enjoy our lives in the midst of difficulty, it is important to let Him use us to pray for and help those who are still in bondage.
Things to Remember
Have you ever forgotten something? (I know I have.) Maybe forgotten where you put your car keys? (Yep, I’ve done that.) What about someone’s birthday? Have you ever forgotten to buy a birthday gift for a friend or loved one? (Guilty. I’ve done that, too.) Someone recently told me that her mom once left her at a grocery store because she forgot she had brought her along. Her poor mother got halfway home before making a panicked and speedy U-turn to retrieve her fuming teenage daughter. (Thankfully, I’ve never done that.)
I guess we’ve all forgotten things. And we’ve all dealt with the fact that forgetting things can have consequences. One consequence is stress! If you forget where you put your car keys, you’re going to be stuck at home and feel the stress of it. If you forget someone’s birthday, you run the risk of hurting his or her feelings and it will probably add stress to your life. And if you forget your teenage daughter at the local grocery store… well, she may make sure you feel stressed over it, and you’ll probably have to take her shopping to make up for it.
But there are other things we forget that have even bigger consequences—life-altering consequences. This is true for many Christians today. There are so many Christians who are forgetting something extremely important. And this forgetfulness is causing their level of stress to increase and their level of joy to decrease. Let me show you what I’m talking about. In Psalm 103: 1–2, look at what David said:
Bless (affectionately, gratefully praise) the Lord, O my soul; and all that is [deepest] within me, bless His holy name! Bless (affectionately, gratefully praise) the Lord, O my soul, and forget not [one of] all His benefits (emphasis added).
Did you see that? What a powerful instruction for you and me today: “Forget not [one of] all His benefits.” There are a lot of things we may forget over the course of a day, but the benefits and blessings of God shouldn’t be on that list. The goodness of God is something we can choose to place at the forefront of our minds. There are two things I want to point out about this verse:
1. You have benefits as a child of God!
That’s something to get excited about! The dictionary defines benefit as “a favor conferred; advantage; profit.”1 That’s what you have been given! And David doesn’t say you have only one benefit; he uses the plural benefits. That means you have been given many “favors” and “advantages” as a child of God.
The benefits aren’t something we’ve earned by impressing God. They are things He freely gives us because we are His children and He loves to bless us. This is why Romans 8:17 says, “And if we are [His] children, then we are [His] heirs also: heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ [sharing His inheritance with Him].” You’ve inherited the benefits, the blessings, and the goodness of God!
2. It takes a conscious effort to remember God’s goodness.
The reason David gave this instruction to remember God’s goodness is because it’s easy to forget. You wouldn’t think so, but it happens all the time. We can get so caught up in the busyness of life, and we can get so distracted by the difficulties we face, that we simply forget all the good things God has given us.
It’s interesting to point out that David was actually talking to himself when he wrote this verse. He begins by saying, “Bless… the Lord, O my soul.” David knew how easy it was to forget what God had done, and he understood that slipping into a negative mind-set was a dangerous trap. That’s why he reminded himself to focus on God’s blessings. And if it was important to David, it should be important to us. You and I can do the same thing today.
Your List of Benefits
One of the things I love about the Bible is how practical it is for daily living. Not only does Psalm 103 encourage us to remember the benefits we have as children of God, but it also goes on to give us a list, showing us what many of those benefits are. Take a look at some of the benefits from Psalm 103 and, like David, encourage yourself to “affectionately, gratefully praise” God for His goodness in your life!
• Your sins are forgiven!
“Who forgives [every one of] all your iniquities.” (v. 3)
• Healing is yours!
“Who heals [each one of] all your diseases.” (v. 3)
• God has redeemed your life! (You have a new life in Him.)
“Who redeems your life from the pit and corruption.” (v. 4)
• You’ve been made beautiful, dignified, and noble!
“Who beautifies, dignifies, and crowns you.” (v. 4)
• God loves you unconditionally!
“With loving-kindness and tender mercy.” (v. 4)
• You’ve been cared for and provided for!
“Who satisfies your mouth… with good.” (v. 5)
• You’re strong, overcoming, and soaring!
“Your youth, renewed, is like the eagle’s [strong, overcoming, soaring]!” (v. 5)
• God is your defender!
“The Lord executes righteousness and justice [not for me only, but] for all who are oppressed.” (v. 6)
• God is not mad at you!
“The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and plenteous in mercy and loving-kindness.” (v. 8)
• When you mess up, God will forgive you!
“He has not dealt with us after our sins nor rewarded us according to our iniquities.” (v. 10)
• God knows you better than you know yourself!
“For He knows our frame.” (v. 14)
• No matter what happens, God will never stop loving you.
“But the mercy and loving-kindness of the Lord are from everlasting to everlasting.” (v. 17)
And this is just the list from one chapter! The Bible is full of many more blessings and promises of God for your life. So the next time you feel your peace slipping away and your stress picking up steam, take a moment to stop and remember the benefits you’ve been given as a child of God.
What Do You Hear?
I don’t know what you’re going through today that has brought a level of stress into your life. Maybe you’re dealing with something big like the loss of a loved one, a marriage on the rocks, a personal betrayal, or a significant health scare. Or maybe you’re dealing with an issue (or multiple issues) much smaller in scale. Sometimes it’s the little things like a deadline at work, a gossiping neighbor, a broken washing machine, or a missed opportunity that stress us out the most.
Whatever it is you are facing, let me encourage you to tune out the loud sound of the truck and listen for the lovely song of the birds. I know the negative things in your life can cause quite a commotion, but if you’ll listen carefully, you’ll hear a much more beautiful refrain. God’s goodness, His favor, His blessings and provision are all around you. If you set your heart and your mind on the positive things He has done for you, you’ll be surprised at how quickly your peace and joy will return.
David gave us a lengthy list of wonderful spiritual benefits to contemplate in Psalm 103, but there are simpler things, too. Gifts and talents you have been given, family members who love you, clothes on your back, a roof over your head, a job that pays the bills, friends who stand by your side. When times get tough and your stress levels start to rise, take a moment to think about both the simple and the profound blessings of God in your life. If you’ll remember God’s goodness, you’ll forget to be stressed… and that’s one thing you’ll never regret forgetting!
Things to Remember:
One of the biggest causes of stress is focusing on the negative things that are happening around us.
What you think about—what you focus on—is going to affect how you see life.
If focusing on what is going wrong is a cause of stress, a cure for stress is focusing on what is right.
When we look at the positive things that God has placed in our lives, it gives us a sense of perspective, stability, thankfulness, and balance.
Psalm 103 instructs us to “forget not” God’s benefits and then gives us an entire list of benefits that are ours as children of God.
Did you know?
Stress makes the blood “stickier” in preparation for an injury. Such a reaction, however, also increases the probability of developing a blood clot.2