CHAPTER 7 Choice Overload

Trop de choix tue le choix.

(Too much choice kills the choice.)

—French proverb

Too much of a good thing… can actually be a bad thing. I know that sounds strange, but it’s true. Here, let me show you. Just as an exercise, why don’t you take a moment and think about a few things that are “good” or fun in your life. Now, consider that those things, if taken to an extreme, can actually be harmful. I’ll prove it to you:

Craig is a college student, and he loves sleep. He sleeps past noon most days, and the second he gets back to his dorm room after class, he collapses onto his bed for a lengthy nap. There’s nothing wrong with sleep, is there? Sleep is a good thing; we all need it. But if Craig sleeps all the time, he’ll be late for class, neglect homework assignments, and feel lethargic.

Jenny loves sweets. In fact, she craves them. There is nothing she appreciates more than a good dessert. And while sweets are a delicious snack—something we all enjoy from time to time—if Jenny never uses discipline and goes overboard on eating sugary foods, she is going to deal with serious health and body image problems.

Sherri loves her job. It’s challenging and a great source of income for her family. She never complains when big projects land on her desk, and she doesn’t hesitate to work late into the night and even on weekends if need be. Now, there is nothing wrong with work. Working hard to provide for your family is a good thing. But if Sherri allows herself to overdo it at work—never resting, never coming home, neglecting her family—she can burn herself out and grow distant from those she loves most.

We could go on and on. Spending some time at the beach is a good thing—too much time on the beach will damage your skin. Money is a good and necessary thing—too much money has ruined the lives of many people. Wanting to be your best is a good thing—driving yourself to perfectionism can be harmful to you and to all those around you.

I’m sure there are exceptions, but that doesn’t change the truth that if we experience too much of a good thing, it can actually turn out to be a bad thing in the long run. I’ve seen it time and time again: excess of any kind can be very dangerous. This is why the Word of God says, “Let your moderation be known unto all men.” (Philippians 4:5, KJV). Moderation is important. There is wisdom in getting past I don’t have enough of something but stopping short of I’ve got way too much of something. Balance is key!

This same principle that is true for sleep, food, work, money, ambition, and so on (all good things in moderation) is also true for the “choices” you and I have in life. I think we would both agree that having choices is a good thing, but I’ve noticed that having too many choices can negatively affect us and actually bring us a tremendous amount of unnecessary stress. In her New York Times article “Too Many Choices: A Problem That Can Paralyze,” Alina Tugend notes that the more psychologists and economists study choice overload, the more they are coming to the conclusion that “an overload of options may actually paralyze people or push them into decisions that are against their own best interest.”1 Too many choices can bring confusion, uncertainty, and elevated levels of stress.

There is no denying that we have more options than ever before in current culture. We have hundreds of television channels to choose from, coffee options galore (like grande, chai, venti, decaf, iced, frappe, spiced, just to name a few), and an incredible variety of handheld electronic devices that let us tweet, text, follow, favorite, snap, watch, and listen. Every time we turn around, we’re bombarded with new things to try, new plans to sign up for, and new choices to make.

I read recently that the average American supermarket now carries 48,750 items (more than five times the number in 1975).² Now that’s a lot of items to choose from! No wonder a missionary friend of mine had a hard time buying cereal when he and his wife visited the States. It wasn’t that they couldn’t find any cereal. They found the cereal aisle just fine. But they were so overloaded by the number of options, they walked out empty-handed, shaking their heads in dismay. You see, in Africa, where they lived, they had one choice of cereal, so it was not stressful at all to choose.

Whether it’s how we spend our money, how we spend our energy, or how we spend our time, if we allow ourselves to get distracted by the dizzying array of modern options, we can easily fall into the stress trap—what should be a good thing turns into an exasperating thing. People fall into this trap all the time. Buying a new house becomes a burden, picking a phone plan takes months, finding a church turns into a competition, and starting a new diet is something people seem to do every other week. In his book The Paradox of Choice, Barry Schwartz correctly notes that it is at this point that “choice no longer liberates, but debilitates.”3

Making a Choice When Life Gets Crazy

If you’ve ever felt stressed out and overloaded in the face of multiple options, I have good news for you: You can be a person who makes wise, bold, confident decisions. You don’t have to go through life indecisive and unsure. And you don’t have to be intimidated any longer by the sheer number of choices before you. With God’s help, you can cut through the distractions and make strong decisions that will build your peace, not your stress.

Here are five steps to staying calm and making great choices when facing countless options:

Step #1: Ask God for Direction

Hebrews 13:6 says, “So we take comfort and are encouraged and confidently and boldly say, ‘The Lord is my Helper; I will not be seized with alarm [I will not fear or dread or be terrified].’” The fact that God is a help to us should fill us with great calm and confidence. Anytime there is a decision to be made, we can go to God and ask for His guidance and direction. After all, the Word promises that He will help us!

I’ve noticed that so many people wait and go to God as a last resort. After they have tried everything they can think of, or after they have made a decision that didn’t work out, then they go to God in a panic and beg for help. But that is a backward process. That’s like going out and buying a coat the last day of winter. You need a coat before the cold arrives, not after.

In the same way, we need God’s direction before we make a decision, not after. Rather than going to God as a last resort (which is a very stressful way to live), make it a practice to go to Him first thing. I finally learned to do this on a regular basis, and I encourage you to do it, too. No matter how big or how small the decision you are facing, ask God for His wisdom. Ask Him to show you what to do and when to do it… and then believe He is leading you as you go forward. If you’ll make a determination to always talk to God about the choices you are facing, you’ll notice a new level of contentment in your life.

Step #2: Simplify the Decision-Making Process

Henry David Thoreau said, “Our life is frittered away by detail… simplify, simplify.”4 Simplicity is so important to enjoying life. The fact is we contribute to a lot of the stress we face by making things very complicated and complex. Sometimes we view upcoming decisions like we’re playing a chess match. We’re thinking three steps ahead and making it a lot more complicated than it needs to be. In the midst of choice overload, it is crucial that you simplify your decision-making process. There are different ways to do this, but here are three suggestions to simplify things:

1. Be content with where God has you.

Contentment is a key to simplicity. The apostle Paul said, “For I have learned how to be content (satisfied to the point where I am not disturbed or disquieted) in whatever state I am” (Philippians 4:11). Paul had known trouble and triumph, poverty and prosperity—and he had learned to be content regardless of his situation. Contentment isn’t about external circumstances; contentment is about an inner peace. If you’ll settle down, trust God, and enjoy where He has you at this moment, decision-making will become much easier.

2. Slow down.

For so many people, the pace of life is way too fast. They’re running from event to event, activity to activity, without ever slowing down to enjoy life. Much of this activity is fueled by a fear that they will miss out on something. And anything that is fueled by fear is unhealthy and spiritually dangerous. They may also feel pressured to do everything that everyone wants and expects them to do. They are stressed out simply because they don’t know how to say no.

Good decisions are rarely made in a rush. If you find that you’re having a hard time finding peace in the midst of all the daily decisions you need to make, I encourage you to slow down. Don’t panic—take time to enjoy your life and lean on God to help you make your decisions.

Jesus was always busy, but He was never rushed. He wasn’t running around, stressing out at the thought of all the things that had to be done. Look to Jesus as your example today. Don’t let the accelerated rush of life cause you to leave peace behind.

3. Reduce your options.

If you’re facing a decision or a dilemma that has many, many possible answers, this is a simple way to decrease the stress potential. You may not know the exact right answer, but I bet you can determine which answers are wrong. Rather than get upset by the complexity of the choice, just start eliminating any and every bad option. You might be surprised by how helpful this exercise is. Sometimes, the more you whittle away the bad options, the more obvious and apparent the right option becomes.

Here are three simple examples: If you need to buy cereal and you’re confused by the choices, eliminate all the ones that have a high sugar content and your choice options will be greatly decreased. Starting your day with a bowl full of sugar is not a good, healthy choice. You eliminate the bad option and it is easier to find the right one.

I was wearing a top yesterday that is new and I really like it. It is pink and that is a color that I rarely find in a style I like. However, all day I had to pull the top down because the material was slippery and it kept sliding up around my waist instead of covering my hips. It began to frustrate me and I felt I had to check on where it was every few minutes. The simple choice is not to wear it again! Even though I really like it, I don’t want the stress it will add when I wear it. I can simplify my day by eliminating the option that will frustrate me.

I find that my stress level goes up when I try to make things work for me that simply are not working. Have you ever kept trying to wear a pair of shoes that hurt your feet and leave blisters every time you wear them? I have, but I have decided that choosing an option that is comfortable is less stressful than being uncomfortable just because my shoes are cute.

Step #3: Seek Good Advice

Independence is a good trait, but like anything else, if it is out of balance, it can be a disadvantage. I think it’s wonderful to be strong and not live your life dependent on what others say, but there are times when the opinions of others can be very beneficial. Don’t mistake pride for independence. Sometimes, the best thing you can do is humble yourself and ask a friend for help.

When dealing with a choice overload, it may be wise to ask a trusted friend or counselor for advice. Proverbs 11:14 says, “Where no wise guidance is, the people fall, but in the multitude of counselors there is safety.” So it is often very helpful to get help from people you trust. Many times there are people around you who have already gone through what you’re facing, and their opinions can be invaluable.

However, it’s important that you don’t feel like you have to do what someone else says just to make them happy. Balance is important here. Let God lead you, not the opinion of others. Be wise enough to seek truly helpful counsel at strategic times and then bring that advice to God and ask Him to give you peace about the decision He wants you to make.

My daughter had literally thousands of decorating choices to make when she and her husband were building their home. Since decorating is not a strong gift for her, she felt stressed by all the choices. It was much easier for her to have others help her select perhaps two or three options and then she picked from those. However, my daughter-in-law is great at decorating and she won’t need any help at all. It is wise to know yourself and never be too independent to ask for the help you need.

Step #4: Be Confident and Decisive

The problem with too many choices is that it saps us of our confidence. Even if we feel like we’ve made a good decision, we wonder if we’ve made the absolute best decision. It’s like ordering at a restaurant that has a fourteen-page menu. When there is an overabundance of options, it takes longer to order. Doubt creeps in, asking you, “Are you sure that’s what you really want?”

Indecision may not be a big deal at a restaurant, but it can be crippling in life. In order to simplify the decision-making process, it is important that we move forward with confidence and decisiveness. A person without confidence is like a car sitting in a driveway with no gas in the tank. The car has the ability to travel, but if it doesn’t have any gas, it’s not going anywhere. Confidence is our fuel. Confidence will carry you forward—past doubt, around indecision, and over uncertainty.

Rather than thinking, What if I get this decision wrong? choose to have confidence that you will get it right. Remember, you’ve already asked God for His wisdom and guidance. He is with you, and He is going to help you. And you know what? If you make the wrong decision, God sees your heart and He knows you are trying to do what is right. He’s going to be there to get you going back in the right direction. So don’t make decisions out of fear any longer—move forward in confidence!

Step #5: Let Peace Make the Call

Even after asking God for help, simplifying the decision-making process, getting good advice, and moving forward with confidence, there are still times when we can’t help but wonder, Am I really making the right choice? And when the stakes are high and a lot is on the line, this can be a stressful question. If you’re considering a new job, whether or not to move across the country, which school to enroll your children in, if you should get married, and so on—you probably want to make sure you get it right the first time. People ask me all the time, “Joyce, how do I really know which decision to make?”

When people ask me this (and maybe you’re asking it now), I always tell them what the apostle Paul said in Colossians 3:15. This is a great verse to remember when you are in the final stages of making an important decision: “And let the peace (soul harmony which comes) from Christ rule (act as umpire continually) in your hearts [deciding and settling with finality all questions that arise in your minds, in that peaceful state].” In other words… let peace make the call!

Which of your options do you have the most peace about? After you’ve prayed about it, sought wise counsel, discarded the bad options, and confidently considered the best remaining options, what gives you the most peace? That feeling of peace is often a confirmation that it is God’s best. Trust that He is pointing you in that direction and let peace settle “with finality all questions that arise in your mind.”

I also recommend that with any important decision, even after you feel that you have peace, it is good to let your decision sit in your heart for a period of time. This helps me because if I feel the same way for two or three weeks, I am even more assured that I am making the right decision.

You Have a Guide

An overload of choices can be a very stressful thing if you are expected to make those choices on your own, but thankfully you’re not. It is so comforting to know that God has promised to be with you. No matter how big or small the decision you are facing, you can be at peace, knowing that you are not expected to make that decision on your own. Not only is God with you, but He is also going to give you the guidance you need to look past the numerous options and make a wise choice. John 16:13 says that the Holy Spirit “will guide you into all the Truth (the whole, full Truth).” The fact that the Holy Spirit is your guide makes all the difference.

Imagine if you were expected to travel down the Amazon River with no guide. Wow… talk about stress! You’d probably be worried all the way down the river. You wouldn’t be able to enjoy a single second of the journey because you’d be thinking about all the things that could go wrong. Snakes, alligators, rainstorms, spiders the size of your hand—there’s no way you’d have any peace. You’d be overloaded with stress for sure.

But it would be a completely different story if an experienced guide were leading you down the river. If you knew your guide would keep you safe and help you every step of the way, you’d be much more relaxed. Anytime you were unsure what to do, your guide would protect you, teach you, comfort you, and inspire you to keep going. You’d learn new things and enjoy new experiences in an exotic location—it could be the trip of a lifetime!

You may be thinking, Joyce, there’s no way I’m going down the Amazon River! But I used that example for a reason. Choice overload is kind of like a jungle. Too many choices and you can get intimidated and overwhelmed, thinking about all the things that could go wrong and all the dangerous repercussions you might face. But let me remind you today that you are not traveling alone. The Holy Spirit is your guide and He promises to give you wisdom and lead you into all truth. So don’t be stressed out by the choices you face today. Ask God to help you see past the distraction of choice overload, trust His guidance, and get ready because He wants to take you on the trip of a lifetime.

Things to Remember:

Too much of a good thing can actually be a bad thing.

Having options is good, but having too many options is a common source of stress.

When faced with a decision, going to God is a first option, not a last resort.

You can simplify the decision-making process by being content, slowing down, and reducing your options.

It is wise to seek good advice from trusted friends or leaders, but don’t feel you have to do what they say just to make them happy.

What is the choice you have the most peace about? If you’re not sure which choice to make, let peace make the call.

The Holy Spirit is your guide. If you ask, He will give you the wisdom you need. You’re not left alone to make this decision on your own.

Did you know?

Laughing lowers stress hormones (like cortisol, epinephrine, and adrenaline) and strengthens the immune system by releasing health-enhancing hormones.5