CHAPTER 15
The First Day of the Rest of Your Life
A contented mind is the greatest blessing a man can enjoy in this world.
—Joseph Addison
One of the wonderful things about God is that He loves new beginnings. With God, you don’t have to live in the bondage and pain of yesterday; you can live in the beauty and promise of tomorrow. That’s why Scripture promises that God’s compassion and mercies are “new every morning” (see Lamentations 3:23). God doesn’t just allow “do-overs”; He created them! Consider the stories we read about in the Word of God:
• Moses killed an Egyptian and ran from his destiny… but God gave him a new beginning as the deliverer of His people.
• David was a shepherd boy who was slighted by his own father… but God gave him a new beginning as the king of Israel.
• Gideon was afraid of the enemy and hiding in a wine press… but God gave him a new beginning as a mighty military leader.
• Peter was hot-tempered and denied he even knew Christ… but God gave him a new beginning as the leader of the early church.
• Paul persecuted Christians and stood by as Stephen was stoned… but God gave him a new beginning as an apostle, a missionary, and author of most of the New Testament.
• Mary of Magdala was filled with demons and yet she became one of Jesus’ close friends and traveling companions.
Do you see the trend? No matter what the personal struggle or failure, God forgives, heals, restores, and makes things new. He’s been doing it since man first sinned, and He’s still doing it today.
And you know what? God wants to do it for you, too—He wants to give you a new start. Regardless of the pain, the pressure, the anxiety, or the stress you’ve been living with, God wants to give you a brand-new start. He wants to take all that away and give you a new freedom in Him. In 2 Corinthians 5:17 you’ll find this promise:
Therefore if any person is [ingrafted] in Christ (the Messiah) he is a new creation (a new creature altogether); the old [previous moral and spiritual condition] has passed away. Behold, the fresh and new has come! (emphasis added)
That’s good news—the fresh and new have come! Stress, anxiety, worry, and pressure are the old things that you had learned to live with… but God is making all things new. You don’t have to live that way anymore. Today, tomorrow, and every day forward can be a new start. You can live full of peace and overflowing with joy. Today isn’t just another day when you are stressed out and overwhelmed—today can be the first day of the rest of your new life!
Now, there are going to be times when the old stresses and anxieties come knocking on your door. In the pages of this book, you learned how to kick them out of your life, but that doesn’t mean they won’t try to sneak back in. So in this last chapter, I want to give you some final tools for your spiritual toolbox that will help you live a peaceful, joy-filled life from this day forward.
Choosing to live with joy doesn’t mean that we never experience any negative emotions like anger, sadness, or disappointment. It does mean that we have a choice not to let them rule us. Most of the emotions that we experience in life are very normal and even necessary. How could I be qualified to minister to you about your emotions if I had never experienced anything but good ones? All of our experiences in life are what form us into the people that we are. But once again, I want to stress that we can choose to let our emotions rule our behavior or to manage them in such a way that, although we don’t deny their existence, we do deny them the right to control us.
The following recommendations are helpful suggestions that will aid you in remaining stable and enjoying your life.
Choose to Live with Hope
How do you generally feel about your future? Do you have hope that good things will happen? Or do you generally feel stressed, expecting negative or disappointing things to happen?
I was taught to be negative when I was growing up. I lived in an abusive atmosphere with negative people, alcoholism, fear, and anger. As a result, I developed an attitude that it was better to expect nothing good than to expect something good and be disappointed when it didn’t happen. Sadly, I often wondered, What’s going to go wrong next?
It wasn’t until I was an adult that I realized I was living with negative expectations, which created a vague feeling around me all the time that something bad was going to happen. Then one day, God spoke to my heart about this. He showed me that I was dreading that something bad was going to happen, but He wanted me to expect good things to happen. Jeremiah 29:11 tells us that God’s thoughts and plans for us are “for welfare and peace and not for evil, to give you hope in your final outcome.” God wanted me to joyfully believe and even say out loud, “Something good is going to happen!”
He wants you to do that also. Expecting good and living with a positive attitude are great stress relievers. God is good, and as we walk with Him and learn His ways, we can expect more and more good things to come to us and flow through us to other hurting people. Negative expectation always equals pressure and that means stress. The truth is, God doesn’t work in us through negative attitudes of any kind. Whether it is worry, anxiety, self-pity, jealousy, laziness, or unforgiveness—these are not peace-producing attitudes. God works through faith! But in order to have faith, it is essential that we first have hope. Faith and hope go together—you can’t have one without the other. Hope is a favorable and confident expectation; it’s an expectant attitude that something good is going to happen and things will work out, no matter what situation we’re facing. Zechariah 9:12 says:
Return to the stronghold [of security and prosperity], you prisoners of hope; even today do I declare that I will restore double your former prosperity to you (emphasis added).
I really like the phrase prisoners of hope. Think about it: If you’re a prisoner of hope, you have no choice about it—you can’t be negative. And when times are tough, and you’re dealing with disappointment or you’re feeling stress creep in, hope will cause you to rise up in faith and say, “God, I praise You and I believe You’re working on this situation and working in me. My faith, trust, and hope are in You!” Believe that God is working, and avoid thinking that God will work at some time in the future. Faith is always “now,” and it is what we believe now that affects the life we are living now!
Hope is determined to see God’s best and it never gives up. God wants us to expectantly trust that He can change what needs to be changed, that we can accomplish what He has called us to do, and that His promises are going to come true in our lives. If we will be steadfast in our hope, we can’t lose—we are destined to succeed with God’s help. I can tell you for sure that our enemy, Satan, is always working to steal hope from us. He is the source of all the temptation we experience to be hopeless, anxious, and stressed out in life. But the truth is that we already have the victory as long as we apply God’s wonderful principles to our lives, trusting in Him at all times.
There will be tough days. Don’t assume that everything will get better the minute you put this book down. (Human nature is impatient, selfish, and wants things quickly. Why is it that although it takes us years to get into our messes, we expect God to get us out of them in a few days?) In John 16:33, Jesus tells us that we are going to have tribulation, trials, distress, and frustration in this world, but in spite of that, we can be of good cheer and take heart. Why? Because He has overcome the world. And when we live in Him, we become overcomers, too! That’s why Jesus died for us. He came to save us from sin and death and to give us abundant life—now.
I am determined to have everything Jesus died to give me. I encourage you to make that same decision—be determined to receive and enjoy every good thing Jesus died to give you. You’ll have to do it on purpose. But you can be determined to do what God wants you to do and refuse to live with negative expectations. Ask God to help you live in hope and declare by faith, “Something good is going to happen to me!”
Press on… Even When It’s Difficult
An important part of battling stress and worry is making right choices while you are hurting, discouraged, frustrated, confused, or under pressure—even though the right choice is often the harder choice. When you’re in the middle of terrible stress, you naturally want to take the path of least resistance. Those are the very moments when you can make a conscious effort to make the tougher choice. To reap right results in life, you must decide to do right when you don’t feel like it. I call this “pressing in and pressing on”—and knowing how to do it is one of the most important components of being a person who doesn’t live as a victim of stress.
Any kind of progress in life requires effort. Being a person who makes major life changes will require an investment on your part. You’ll only get to where you want to be by willingly sacrificing and pushing through the obstacles or adversities that stand in your way. But you can be assured that sacrifice always eventually brings a reward. Your obstacle might be a habit of giving in to stressful situations—in the past, you may have simply lived as a victim of your environment, allowing the circumstances to determine your mood. Whatever it is, you are the only one who can press through it; no one else can do that for you. I believe it is time for you to take charge of your life and follow God’s will instead of bowing down to pressure that is designed to prevent you from living out your destiny.
Maybe you tried to make some changes in the past. Perhaps you tried to the point that you are now weary, exhausted, or discouraged. If so, then you are at the precise point where you need to summon fresh strength from God and press in one more time. Many times we grow weary, and we falter in our determination if we do not continually lean on God, trusting in His strength rather than our own strength. We can make the decision to press through, but we never experience success in anything unless we rely on God to help us. His grace is always sufficient to enable us to do what we need to do.
When we put our hope and dependence in God, He’ll give us the strength we need. Don’t wait to feel the strength before you step out in faith! We never have to wonder if He’ll come through. If we will keep moving forward, even when things get difficult, God will always show up and do what we could not do on our own. The Word of God says it this way:
But those who wait for the Lord [who expect, look for, and hope in Him] shall change and renew their strength and power; they shall lift their wings and mount up [close to God] as eagles [mount up to the sun]; they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint or become tired.
Isaiah 40:31
One of the definitions I’ve heard for the word press is “to exert steady force or pressure against something.” That’s why I often say, “You have to press against the pressure that’s pressing against you!” When something is pressing against you, you can be determined to press against it with greater force, because very little that is truly worthwhile or worth having in life happens without this kind of effort. And remember, you’re not pressing against stress in your own strength; you have the strength of the Holy Spirit. “He Who lives in you is greater (mightier) than he who is in the world” (1 John 4:4).
Sometimes you have to press through stressful circumstances to overcome obstacles, such as when your dream is to open a business in a certain neighborhood but the zoning board repeatedly rejects your request to build the facility you need, or when your dream is to go to college, but you keep getting turned down every time you apply for a scholarship. I suffered sexual, mental, and emotional abuse as a child. Because of this, I needed to move away from home and begin supporting myself immediately after high school. My high school teachers recognized a writing gift in me and strongly urged me to try for a college scholarship, but I did not get to go to college. Obviously, that didn’t stop God! I’ve written more than one hundred books and I never had formal training to learn how to do it. I have also received several honorary degrees and have earned two degrees because of my writing. I could not go to college the so-called normal way, but God had another way to help me do what He wanted me to do. I am amazed when I think of what God will do if we simply decide to press in… even when it’s difficult. Another way to say it is: Never give up!
Tough situations and challenges in life must be dealt with, but I am more concerned about your response to the obstacles than about the obstacles themselves. If you can keep your thoughts and attitudes right—and if you will refuse to let stress defeat you through trusting God—you will eventually have the breakthrough you need. I can’t promise you will get exactly what you want, but if God doesn’t give you what you are asking for, then He will give you something much better. His ways and thoughts are above ours (see Isaiah 55:9).
Think about your life and make a fresh determination to pay the price of progress. As you face the obstacles in your life, remember: Press in and press on.
Focus on How Far You’ve Come Already
Let me tell you about a conversation I had with a friend we’ll call “Cheryl”…
Cheryl told me, “Joyce, I’ve been a Christian for twenty-three years, and I’m just not getting anywhere. I’m as weak as I was when I first accepted Christ as my Savior. I still fail. I just don’t know if it’s worth it.” She was very discouraged and tears kept running down her cheeks as she talked about her mistakes and shortcomings. She went on to say, “By now I know all the right things to do, but I don’t do them. Sometimes I deliberately do something mean-spirited or unkind. What kind of Christian am I?”
I answered her very matter-of-factly: “Probably a growing Christian. If you weren’t growing, you wouldn’t be sad about your failures. You’d be satisfied about your spiritual level and not concerned with growing.” She said, “But, Joyce, I still fail so often!”
I went on to tell Cheryl she was correct that she had failed. All of us do at times. None of us are perfect. If we’re not careful, we can focus only on what we haven’t accomplished and where we have been weak and never see the progress we have made. When that happens, it’s easy to feel bad or want to give up. That’s not the way God works. No matter how many mistakes we make, God doesn’t give up on us. The Spirit continues to work with us and make us more like Christ.
My advice to Cheryl, and to all Christians who face those dark moments, is to look at all God had done in her life rather than seeing all she had yet to do. Yes, life is sometimes a struggle, and there are times when we fail and make mistakes. We don’t ever reach the place where we never have a struggle or a temptation. But here is the key thing to remember: God sent Jesus because we are weak at times and we need His help and forgiveness. Jesus is not only with you, but He is also for you. He knows your heart’s desire is to do better. He knows where you came from, but He also knows where you are headed and He will never give up on you!
My friend kept remembering the times she had failed, but I reminded her of the times she had succeeded. “You think you’re losing, but that’s not true. You have failed at times, but you have also succeeded. You have stood your ground and you have made progress.” That’s the same message I have for you today. You may have gone through some trying times, you may have dealt with your share of stress, you may know what it’s like to feel overwhelmed, but you’re still here and you’re still moving forward. With God’s help, you are making progress! After all, you have almost made it to the end of this book! That is an accomplishment in itself.
Let me remind you of something the Word of God says:
Fear not, for I have redeemed you… I have called you by your name; you are Mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you, and through the rivers, they will not overwhelm you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned or scorched, nor will the flame kindle upon you.
Isaiah 43:1–2
This is God’s promise. He never said that He will take us completely out of troubles or hardships, but He does promise to be with us as we go through them. Anytime you are going through, you are still making progress because you have not given up! “Fear not,” He says. That’s the message we need to remember. We don’t need to fear because God is with us. And when God is with us, what is there to be stressed about? He’s already brought you this far… just imagine how far He is going to take you in the future.
Never Give Up
Galatians 6:9 says, “And let us not lose heart and grow weary and faint in acting nobly and doing right, for in due time and at the appointed season we shall reap, if we do not loosen and relax our courage and faint.”
In this scripture, the apostle Paul is simply encouraging us to keep on keeping on! Don’t be a quitter! Don’t have that old “give up” spirit. God’s looking for people who will be courageous and keep moving forward in Him. Even at times when progress seems slow, remember that any progress is better than going backward.
For many years I felt I was making very little, if any, progress in my spiritual growth and overcoming bad habits and behaviors. But now as I look back, it is amazing how different I am, and the same thing is happening and will continue happening to you.
Whatever you may be facing or experiencing in your life right now, I want to encourage you to stay positive and refuse to go back to those anxious, worried, stress-filled mind-sets. God is with you. He’ll help you experience His peace and joy—strengthening and encouraging you to keep on keeping on during rough times. It’s easy to quit (anyone can do it), but it takes faith to press on to victory.
When the battle seems endless and you think you’ll never make it, remember that you’re reprogramming a “worldly” mind to think as God thinks. Your mind may be like a computer that has a lifetime of bad information programmed into it. But God—the best “computer programmer” around—is working on us every day to reprogram our minds as we cooperate with Him (see Romans 12:2). This process of reprogramming or renewing our minds will take place little by little, so get excited about your progress, even if it seems slow.
It is not God’s will for you to be overloaded and stressed out about anything. Jesus came to give us peace and we can learn to live peacefully in the midst of turmoil and enjoy our lives while God is solving our problems.
Things to Remember:
With God, you don’t have to live in the bondage and pain of yesterday; you can live in the beauty and promise of tomorrow. God loves new beginnings!
Regardless of the pain, the pressure, the anxiety, or the stress you’ve been living with, God wants to give you a brand-new start.
God’s thoughts and plans for us are “for welfare and peace and not for evil, to give you hope in your final outcome” (Jeremiah 29:11). Knowing this is a key to living with hope.
If we’ll wait patiently, pressing in even when things get difficult, God will always show up and do what we could not do on our own.
Look at all God has done in your life rather than seeing all you have yet to do.
Whatever you may be facing or experiencing in your life right now, stay positive and refuse to go back to those anxious, worried, stress-filled mind-sets. It’s easy to quit (anyone can do it), but it takes faith to press on to victory.
SIMPLE WAYS TO DE-STRESS:
Take a nap
Enjoy a delicious, nutritious meal
Do something special for yourself
Make a list of your strengths
Volunteer to do something that will help someone else
Count your blessings
Call a friend who has a way of encouraging you
Play with your dog (if you don’t have a dog, play with your neighbor’s dog)
Get outdoors for a while
Cut back on your caffeine intake
Eat less sugar
Turn off your electronics for an hour
Read uplifting material
Smile for no reason in particular